The Many Adventures of Kid, Liz and Patty
by Death overlord Z
Summary: What happened between when kid was mugged and he found his weapons in that warehouse? how did liz and patty come to like the snotty little rich boy? how did the trio REALLY become friends with the rest of the gang? This story has it all. Kid/Liz in later chaps, some kid/Liz/patty.
1. Humble Beginnings

Death city never aged.

It was in a parallel universe to earth, all on its own. It never changed, never wavered. Though the human world would age, fall, and be reborn, death city remained eternal.

Of course, the same could not be same for its inhabitants. They were born, they aged, and they died.

Not all at the same rates, though.

XXXXXXXX

It was Halloween night. Though death city was rather Halloween-ish 24-7, it really went all out on the true Halloween. Ghosts flew though the skies, and cats ran the streets.

Of course, some things remain the same, no matter where one is. All the little kids were out in their little masks, getting candies and scaring each other.

But the grownups were elsewhere. They were all at the DWMA, at Shinigami-sama's annual deathday bash. Here, skeletons talked to werewolves, zombies danced with vampires, and witches (false ones… well, mostly.) flew through the grand ballroom.

But the guest of honor himself had yet to arrive. Shinigami-sama always appeared at the ball, come rain or shine. Everyone crowded around the stage, anxious to meet him.

But this year, something was wrong.

People whispered to each other nervously.

"where's lord death?"

"he was scheduled to be here a half hour ago."

"Is there some kind of trouble?"

Then, Shinigami-sama's current head death scythe, gharran luggan, rushed through the curtains, onto the stage. Everyone began to cheer, but gharran waved his hands to make them be quiet. He seemed hasty and impatient.

"everyone, I have some bad news." He said into a microphone.

"shinigami-sama will not make it to this year's deathday bash."

The crowd roared with indignation. No shinigami-sama? Halloween wasn't Halloween without him!

"BUT!"

Gharran looked excited, on the verge of jumping up and down.

"I have some news which not only justifies his absence, but also calls for greater celebration."

There was a confused jumble of sounds from the crowd. What could possibly make Shinigami-sama miss out on his favorite holiday of the year?

"Ladies and gentlemen…" Gharran looked like he would explode from excitement.

"today…"

"THE SON OF DEATH IS BORN!"

The crowd roared so loudly, It could be heard for half a mile. This time, though, it was a happy roar. A new heir to the death empire?

"let's all have the greatest bash since shinigami-sama's inauguration party!" screamed gharran, and the party started up again, only this time, everyone was dancing and partying and the music was louder then ever.

Yes, it was the happiest day death city had had in a long time.

However, on the other side of town, it was the saddest day of one man's life.

xxxxxxxx

Shinigami-sama sat anxiously in the waiting room of the hospital. He knew births weren't over in 5 minutes, but surely they didn't usually take this long.

Shinigami-sama wore his usual attire: his terrifying skull mask and wicked black claws were known and feared by everyone. Though the students of the academy were horrified by them, they usually were old enough to stomach it.

"S-Shinigami-s-sama…" came a voice from in front of lord death. He looked up into the eyes of a terrified technician, in green scrubs which every hospital member seemed to wear.

"yes." Death said in his horrible, grave voice. (no pun intended)

"i- i- i… I'm afraid i… i…" the technician was terrified of death himself, and rightly so, but shinigami-sama sensed extra fear in this man. Was he merely cowardly, or…

"i-i-I'm afraid… th-there were some…" the technician took a deep breath, then forced out of his mouth the two worst words shinigami-sama ever heard in his life.

"…birth complications."

The two words a father never wanted to hear.

Death pushed past the technician and was in his wife's room in less then a second. There he was met with a terrible sight.

His wife lay in the bed, white as ice. Her stomach had deflated from what it had been the past couple months, but…

Death took his wife's hand in his.

"Elvira…"

Death does not shed tears.

Death stayed by his wife's side for about ten minutes, before a nurse came in, carrying a bundle.

"shinigami-sama…" said the nurse. "…I'm sorry."

Lord Death looked at the nurse. He stared at her for what could have been seconds or years. "the child…"

"did he survive?"

The nurse gulped, then forced a weak smile to her face.

"yes."

"you have a surprisingly resilient baby, Mr death. He was unable to breathe whatsoever for almost ten minutes, but then he was just fine."

"let me see him." Shinigami-sama commanded. "I want to see who my wife sacrificed herself for."

The nurse gently handed him the bundle, and Death took it in his black claws, looking down at the small one within.

Inside lay a baby. They all look the same when they are first born, but this one had two distinctions. First was its skin. White as ice, and even colder.

The second was, it had 3 white lines, on its hairless forehead.

Shinigami-sama breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the baby's chest move. He was definitely alive. Elvira's sacrifice had not been in vain.

Then, with a small yawn, the baby opened its eyes. They were startlingly yellow, almost like searchlights.

Death gazed into the eyes of his son.

Then the baby started crying.

The crying turned to screaming, and the baby writhed frantically, trying to get out of death's claws.

Death was stunned, then shoved the baby back to the nurse. He didn't know how to handle a crying infant! Not so soon!

The nurse went "sh-sh-shhhh…" and gently patted the child on the back. The baby yawned, and was soon asleep.

"w-what happened?" said death, shocked by his son's behavior.

"sir… infants are easily frightened…" The nurse said.

"Your mask is what terrified him."

Death paused, stunned. Then he put a claw to his skull mask, and looked at a nearby mirror, over a sink.

He knew he was terrifying… but to scare his own son to screams…

Things had to change.

"I'll be back. Keep my son safe." He said, not looking at the nurse. Then he gently placed a black claw tip on the mirror, and was sucked inside.

For an hour at least, death did not return from the mirror. The hospital staff waited anxiously, wondering what was happening.

Then, a bulge from the mirror, and out popped shinigami-sama.

Only it was not shinigami-sama. Not anymore.

It was the shinigami-sama we know and love today, full of bounciness and life, claws replaced with foam fingers, terrible skull mask replaced with a rather cute one.

"Well, let me see my son!" Death said, but not in his usual hollow voice. No, it was the bouncy voice which we all know and love.

Stunned at this change, the nurse, with shaking hands, handed death his son once more.

Once again, death and the son stared at each other. The hospital staff and even shinigami-sama held their breath, waiting to see how the kid would react.

But the child did not scream and writhe. Instead, he smiled, and hugged one of shinigami-sama's oversized white fingers.

"Ohhh, aren't you a CUTIE!" squealed Lord death, tickling his son with his free hand. "goochie goochie goo!"

The child giggled and squealed. The nurses and doctors looked on, amazed. Death himself had become harmless as a bunny rabbit!

Then death looked once more at the nurses and doctors amassed in the room. "I'm gonna be takin' my son home now! Bye-eeeeee!" he then leapt into the mirror once more, taking the child with him, leaving the stunned hospital staff in his wake.

xxxxxxxx

Death slithered through the twisting white void that was mirrorspace, the space between mirrors.

He talked as he moved. "did I do well?"

Death's terror form materialized, and glided alongside his regular form.

"yes, my son. You did perfectly. Now that you have an heir, I can rest in peace. You have reign of the death empire."

Lord death's harmless form looked up at the terror form as they walked, and it was obvious he was smiling.

"You shall make a great grandfather."

XXXXXXXX

Robbie Vincetti walked the cold streets of Brooklyn.

He sighed. Twenty-nine years old, son of one of the biggest crime bosses in new york (if not America), life was a bitch. He was starting to wonder if it was time to hang up his pistol. He had had enough killing.

Suddenly, a white car screeched around a corner. Robbie paid no notice at first; there were plenty crazy drivers in Brooklyn.

But then, not five feet away from him, from the backseat of the speeding car, he witnessed a pair of hands throwing two bundles into a dingy trash can on the side of the street. One got in cleanly; the other bumped rather hard on the side of the can. The car didn't stop, driving out of sight. Robbie didn't catch the license plate.

Naturally curious, Robbie walked over to the trash can and peered in. Sitting on top of various filthy debris, there were two bundles, firmly wrapped in pink blankets, the exact same size.

One was moving.

With shaking hands, Robbie picked the moving bundle out of the can. He slowly unwrapped it…

To find a squirming, squiggling baby.

The baby was not crying… indeed, it was surprisingly calm. It stared at Robbie, as if to say, "why are you holding me?"

Robbie was stunned for a moment, staring at the child. Then he stared in the direction the car went.

What kind of a monster would abandon a child like this? The least they could do was drop it off at an orphanage… but then again, that would mean a lot of paperwork, and many folks didn't want to go through that, whether they have short attention spans, or were on the run.

Robbie then took the other bundle out of the garbage can. Judging by the dent on one end, this was the one which bumped the edge of the garbage can on the way down. He unwrapped it, and as he suspected, there was a second baby within.

What he did not expect was the dent in its head.

It was as though somebody had pushed their thumb, hard, into the baby's head. Though the skin was not broken, it was obviously serious.

Robbie remembered from his school days... an newborn infant's bones had the same consistency of cardboard, and were easily broken.

"Must have happened when she hit the can…" muttered Robbie. Then, being the good Samaritan of a mobster he was, he ran towards the nearest hospital, three blocks away.

Xxxxxxxx

Two hours later, Robbie sat in the ER waiting room, the undamaged baby cradled in his arms, still half-swaddled in the blanket.

"Mr. Robert?"

Robbie looked up. He never used his last name in public, he was the son of a mobster, after all.

"Your child is going to live."

Robbie smiled an almost relieved smile. He didn't want a baby's death on his hands.

"It took some reconstructive surgery, but she will definitely live. However, she will not survive without a price."

Robbie's smile faded.

"She caved in almost all her frontal lobe. We were able to repair most of it, but certain parts were irreparable.

"What we're looking at, Mr. Robert, is partial mental retardation. There will also be growth stuntage of a certain measure. The child will live, but she… she will never be normal."

Robbie was silent for a moment, but then he shook his head and said politely, "thank you nurse. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, actually." Said the nurse. "what are your children's names? We need them for our records."

"they're not my…" Robbie began to say they weren't his kids, but stopped. Saying he had two babies with him who weren't his children… that would lead to all sorts of unpleasant questions. "I mean… names? Right. Names…"

What to name the children? Robbie thought fast. He thought of his mother and sister, who had died in a fire years ago. It was better then nothing.

"This one is Elizabeth." He said, holding up the baby in his hands. Then he pointed to the door where the other was located. "That one is Patricia."

XXXXXXXX

Hooray! First chap done!

Wow, this is long. I'll try to make them shorter from now on. More chaps to come, trust me!

I don't own anyone.


	2. Growing Up pt 1

"son, being a grim reaper is all about balance." Shinigami-sama said to his son.

They were in the death room, for their daily lesson. Kid sat in front of shinigami-sama, silent, listening.

Kid was now 81 years old, but because shinigami aged one year for every ten real years, he was only 8.

"balance, father?" asked Kid, his head tilted to one side.

"yes. You see…" Lord death raised his hands, like a counterweight scale. "one hand is life and one hand is death. If too many are on one side, or the other, the entire thing tips over, and falls into chaos." He tipped his hands, then made a little play-scream as they fell over. Kid giggled.

Shinigami-sama straightened and looked at Kid. "do you see what I'm saying here, son?"

Kid nodded, mesmerized. "yes father…

"yes I do."

xxxxxxxx

Kid got home to gallows manor later that day. He was always alone when he was at the manor, due to his father being far too busy to come home. Shinigami-sama apologized profusely to his son, but Kid didn't mind, he liked the silence. It helped him to read.

Kid couldn't get his father's words out of his mind. Out of fascination, he went over to the computer, and went to . there was a surprising amount of definitions for balance, but he was particularly interested in one.

13. _"Fine__Arts_. composition or placement of elements of design,as figures, forms, or colors, in such a manner as to producean aesthetically pleasing or harmoniously integrated whole."

Fascinating! Kid read more, scrolling down. Then he saw it, in the synonyms section. The fateful words which would change his mentality forever.

See symmetry.

What a curious-sounding word! Kid clicked on the link.

1.

the correspondence in size, form, and arrangement of parts on opposite sides of a plane, line, or point; regularity of former arrangement in terms of like, reciprocal, or corresponding parts.

**2.**

the proper or due proportion of the parts of a body or whole to one another with regard to size and form; excellence of proportion.

**3.**

beauty based on or characterized by such excellence of proportion.

"Incredible!" thought kid to himself. He hopped off the seat, contemplating what exactly the word "symmetry" meant.

As he strolled through the halls of gallows manor, Kid glanced at a painting. Then he looked at it again.

The painting's brush strokes were perfectly collaborated! It's dark and light spots reflected evenly onto each other! Kid was stunned. This was surely what symmetry was!

Then he noticed. He looked closely, and gasped. The painting was a few millimeters crooked! It was not symmetrical!

Kid panicked, wringing his hands and looking around. Then he ran to the garage, in search of a level and a protractor.

It had begun.

XXXXXXXX

"so let me get this straight."

Freddy Vincetti was the biggest mob boss in brooklyn. He looked at his son, Robbie Vincetti, who stood in front of his desk, as he sat behind it.

"you found a couple stupid kids in the trash can… and you decided to bring 'em back here?"

"boss, they can barely even walk. We can't just dump them on the sidewalk!" said Robbie.

"DAMMIT ROBBIE!" said Freddy, pounding his fist on the table. "we aren't running a motherfucking daycare here! Goddammit, if you weren't my son-"

Freddy was interrupted by the door to his office opening, and a minion of his, Garry, popping his head in. "whaddya want?" asked Freddy.

"s-s-sir… the b-babies… well… you should come and see this."

"oh what, did she make a poopie?" said Freddy sarcastically. He got up and followed Garry, Robbie in pursuit.

As they walked, Garry explained. "w-we were taking the babies to the cells just past the target range… but then w-we figured we needed diapers… so we left the kids on a bench… but then when we came back…" Garry shuddered. "well… maybe you should see for yourself."

The trio reached the target range. The two babies sat about 50 feet from the main target. One had a bandage on her head; that was Patty, from her injury.

"the one with the bandadge on her head…" said Garry nervously. "she… she transformed into a gun… and the other one…"

"Transformed? What are you babbling about?" asked Freddy. He was about to reprimand Garry for wasting his time, when Liz stood up on her tiny toddler feet.

The three men froze in amazement when Liz transformed into weapon form, and Patty snatched her out of the air like she'd been doing it all her life. Then Patty pointed Liz towards the target. The stunned mobsters watched as Patty pumped twelve rounds from Liz into the target.

Bulls-eyes, every one.

The mobsters stared with open mouths as Patty giggled and clapped her tiny hands.

"i… I thought you said it was the bandaged one who transformed…" said Freddy, still stunned.

"she… she did…" said Garry, stunned. "maybe… maybe they can both do it? Wow…"

sure enough, there was a small pink flash, and Liz now stood, holding Patty in weapon form. She also pumped a half-dozen rounds into the dead center of the target, then casually tossed patty behind her, who transformed in midair and landed perfectly on her feet. Then the duo sat down, and started giggling together.

"Robbie, I apologize to you." Said Freddy, turning to Robbie.

"I think there's a very bright future for these girls in the mob business after all."


	3. Growing up pt 2

3 weeks after the beginning of kid's obsession…

Lord Death sat in the waiting room of the most advanced therapist in death city.

"Pardon me, Mr. Death." Said the therapist, who had just walked into the room.

"yeeeeeeees?" said Shinigami-sama, tilting his head.

"I've come to a conclusion. Your son has OCD."

"oh-see-dee?"

"obsessive-compulsive disorder. It's a relatively common disorder, but your son… his case is quite possibly the most severe I've ever seen.

"This disorder can manifest itself in many different ways. One way, for example, is washing your hands every five minutes. Another is cleaning everything until it's spotless.

"your son's case is unique… it appears he's obsessed with symmetry." The therapist leaned forwards, looking into death's endless black eyes. "do you have any idea what caused this? It could be a traumatic incident, or a meaningful talk."

"ummm….. nope! No clue!" said Shinigami-sama, shrugging comically.

The nurse straightened up. "nonetheless, if you will please step into my office, we will discuss this some more with your son."

"certainly." Said Lord Death, standing up. He followed the nurse to her room.

"um, child?" asked the nurse as she walked in. "what are you… ACK!"

Kid looked around from the ficus plant he had been trimming. He still had the scissors, and said like it was the most natural thing in the world, "the leaves weren't symmetrical."

"that plant… it was the last thing my mother ever gave to me… before she died…" said the therapist, pointing a shaking finger.

"she must have been a simply terrible mother, then. To give her own daughter such an asymmetrical plant. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some trimming to finish." Kid went back to his trimming of the ficus, little green shreds flying everywhere.

"why you little – YAAAH! What did you do to my paintings?" screamed the therapist, pointing at her various portraits, which were all in the garbage can.

"the people in them were at a three-quarters viewpoint. HORRIFYINGLY asymmetrical. I refused to let them hang on your walls. Say…" Kid stopped trimming again, and looked at the therapist. Then he ran over, and without hesitation, grabbed and ripped off the breast pocket of her jacket.

"AHHH WHAT THE-" screeched the nurse, but Kid cut her off.

"A breast pocket on one side of your jacket but not the other? You should be ashamed of yourself." Said Kid, still calm.

The nurse stared, petrified, at Kid.

"where's my thank you, for making your office so perfect?" asked Kid, smiling.

That was the last straw. "OUT! OUT, BOTH OF YOU! NEVER COME BACK HERE AGAIN! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Shinigami-sama and son ran out the door as it was unceremoniously slammed shut behind them.

"hmmph! See if I ever help HER again." Said Kid, walking down the exact center of the hallway towards the exit.

Shinigami-sama stared after his son.

"well… at least the worst is already here." He thought as he began to follow Kid.

It couldn't get more serious then this… could it?

XXXXXXXX

"And so he's all like, 'please, nooo!' and I'm all like 'fuck you' and then I stab him in the eye like SHUNK!" said Vinnie Antonio to his buddies.

"hahaha!" they laughed stupidly. The fire in the center of the group crackled. A cat ran through the alley, passing them.

"omg, you rule, man." Said one to Vinnie. "what was the idiot's name?"

"Lenny Vincetti." Said Vinnie, laughing. His fedora nearly fell off, and he pushed it back on again. "what a stupid name! 'Lenny.' HAH!" Then he noticed all his friends had went very pale. "what?" he questioned.

"dude… you… you d-don't mess with the motherf###ing vincettis…" one stuttered.

"why? They got a pit bull or somethin'?" asked Vinnie, still laughing.

"naw naw man… didn't you hear about Ned?" asked another of his cohorts.

"No… say, where is that guy, anyways?" asked Vinnie, looking around.

"Six feet under, man." Said yet another, shivering. "he killed one of the Vincettis, too. Couple days later, we found him in an alley, deader then disco. Dozen bullet wounds in his gut. One foot sawed off with what looked like a pocketknife. Both eyes stabbed."

"Don't forget…" said a fourth. "his junk was found five feet away, sawed off, covered in scars."

Vinnie paled. Then he laughed, trying to regain some bravado. "probably went on the wrong side of town and got himself wasted by some mugger."

"naw, man." Said another. "stuffed in his mouth, was a note. Said something like, 'mess with the vincettis, and you're next.' And it was signed…" he shuddered.

"the Thompson devils."

Vinnie cackled. "Thompson devils? What the hell? Probably a couple of noobs who got lucky and snuck up on ned, and cut him."

"Didn't you hear the rumors, man?" said yet another of his entourage. "Vincettis, 9 or so years ago, picked up a couple of baby girls. Legend tells, they could transform into guns, and never missed. Liz and Patty Thompson." He shuddered.

Vinnie laughed yet again. "You losers honestly think a couple of twerps wasted Ned? Yeah, like I should honestly be scared of a little girl named 'elizabeth.'" He snickered. "what, the stinkin Queen Elizabeth of England came on over and cut up Ned?"

He began to laugh again, but he was cut off by the voice of a young girl.

"actually, Ned was Patty's work."

Vinnie froze, then whipped around. A little girl stood in the doorway. She had long, dirty blonde hair, and a ragged shirt and jeans.

In one hand, she held a gleaming pistol.

"Yeah, the guy in the alley on north 9th street? Yeah, Patty took him out. She had fun with it too. Of course, she has fun with everything." She advanced, and Vinnie advanced, stalking towards each other.

"Li'l girl, don't you know better then to walk around alone in this part of town? Your little squirt gun doesn't scare me. I bet there's a many few pedos who'd pay pretty for a li'l girl like you…" he chuckled darkly.

Almost too fast to see, the girl fired a blast. Vinnie flinched a bit, then when there was no pain, he said "HAH! You missed!"

The girl smiled, and pointed the gun just above his head. Vinnie felt around, and gasped. He whipped his hat off and looked at it.

Dead in the center of his fedora, a smoking hole steamed.

"still think I can't aim worth shit?" said the girl, smirking and crossing her arms.

"O-ok, so you can aim." Said Vinnie, desparately trying to salvage some dignity. "W-who cares? Boys, g-g-get her." When there was no response, he turned around and said, "are you monkeys deaf? Get-" Vinnie froze and stared. His entire posse was gone. They'd scrammed so fast, they didn't even bother to put out the fire.

"looks like your buddies are smarter then you are. Then again, we wouldn't have let you escape anyways." Said the girl, stalking towards him again.

This time, Vinnie backed up, pleading as he did so. "c'mon… you don't need to hurt me…" he whined. Then he spun on his heel and made a break for the end of the alley.

BLAM!

Vinnie cried out and fell, a stabbing pain in his ankle. He looked to see his shoe two feet away.

With his foot still in it.

Vinnie moaned in pain. With astonished eyes, he watched the silhouette of the girl. She tossed the gun to her side, and he saw the outline of the gun turn into another girl.

"Pat, take him out. I'm gonna see if these idiots had any money stashed around here." Said the original girl, walking over to the gang's duffel bag and rooting through it.

"hee hee! Kaaaaayyy!" said the new girl. She skipped over to vinnie, and looked him in the face. Her face would have been adorable, cute little cheeks and a bouncy little blonde hairstyle, but her eyes were wild, and she wore a demonic grin.

"shoulda known better then to mess with the Vincettis, buddy." Said the girl, taking a switchblade out of her pocket and flipping it open. As the first screams rang out into the night…

"you mess with the Vincettis, you mess with the Thompson devils."


	4. Growing Up pt 3

"Son, it's time you got your own weapon." Said Shinigami-sama to his son. Kid sat in the death room, in a gold throne.

"father, I keep telling you… if you can't find me two symmetrical weapons, don't even bother." Said Kid. "Besides, I've already seen every weapon in death city."

"personally?" said Shinigami-sama.

"no, on internet dating sites. Yes, personally. Otherwise, how would I know if I would resonate properly with them." He looked at his nails, examining them for flaws. "I've only found 2 or 3 combinations of TWO demon weapons in the entire city, and I didn't resonate with a single one of them."

"Son, if you search only for combinations of demon weapons, you will have a very hard time…" said Shinigami-sama, but he was interrupted by a WHAM!

Lord Death and Kid looked around, down the guillotine passageway, to see Spirit running up.

"I've got the latest batch, Lord Death!" said Spirit.

"ah, goody! Son, see if any of these strike your fancy." Said Shinigami-sama, stepping aside to allow Spirit to show his son the photos.

Lately they had been trying to go with sexual appeal in order to get Kid to choose a weapon. Still, though, It was as though Kid didn't have any testicles, because even the most beautiful weapons in death city had no effect whatsoever on him.

"what about these two?" asked Spirit, showing Kid a couple more photos. One showed a girl with one arm transformed into a black blade, slicing a target dummy in half. The other had a girl with one arm transformed into a huge gatling gun.

"Only one arm transformed? No way in hell." Dismissed Kid.

"well what about these? You have to like ONE of them!" spirit took 8 more photos and spread them out in his hands like a card shuffler.

Kid raised his arms in an X, signaling "no way, Jose."

Spirit was on the verge of tears when Shinigami-sama intervened again. "Son, you are 153 years old. You have to have SOME weapon!"

"You're right father. That's why I've made a decision." Kid stood up.

"I'm going to find a weapon in earth-realm."

Shinigami-sama and Spirit stared at Kid in sheer astonishment. "Son…" said Shinigami-sama. "According to soul count, earth-realm has barely even half the number of weapons we have here in death city alone, and they're scattered all over the planet, while death city's weapons are all in one convenient little package!"

"Well, I'll have to search hard, then, now won't i?" said Kid, smiling. He summoned his skateboard, Beelzebub, and hopped on. Then he summoned a white portal. "I'll contact you occasionally, via mirror. Later!" with that, Kid rode his skateboard through the portal to earth-realm, and it closed behind him.

"Shinigami-sama?" asked Spirit, looking at Lord Death. "Will he be all right?"

"well, he has incredible regenerative abilities, and has a black belt in death-fu…" said Shinigami-sama, still staring at where the portal was.

"…it's so adorable when they leave the nest!" Lord Death cried suddenly, hugging Spirit and sobbing. Awkwardly, Spirit patted his meister on the shoulder.

"kid… be safe…" Shinigami-sama thought to himself, sending his good wishes to his son.

XXXXXXXX

"Well, that was a good day." Said Liz to Patty as they strolled down the night streets of Brooklyn City.

"yeah, four bags of groceries! We's eatin good tonight, sissy!" said Patty.

Liz couldn't help but look at her sister. Even though they were both 19 years old, Patty was still almost a foot shorter then Liz, and talked like a baby. Liz had gotten used to it, but still…

"whaddya say we do a good mugging, just for the hell of it, Pat?" asked Liz.

"Sounds good to me!" said Patty. Her pink shirt ruffled in the wind as she and Liz walked into an alley to wait for a good piece of prey to come along.

They didn't have to wait long. An elderly old man walked by. He wore a expensive-looking suit, and carried a briefcase which was surely LOADED with valuables. Liz held out her hand, and Patty leapt into it, transforming into gun mode. She grabbed the old man by the collar of his suit and pinned him to the wall. "what on earth?" said the old man before Liz pressed patty to his chin.

"hand it all over, before I blow your brains out!" she growled, the cigarette in her mouth drooping. Whimpering, the old man quickly rummaged in his suitcase for his wallet. "I said all of it!" Threatened Liz as she snatched the entire case. Then she kicked the old man to the ground. "and don't come back!" she called after him as he scrambled away.

"Let's see what's in here." She said as she tossed patty nonchalantly behind her, who transformed back to human form and squatted down, eager to see what was inside.

"OOH!" said Liz, holding up a luxurious-looking fur coat, with fuzzy white fur on its shoulders. "this is CUTE! Oh I am so keeping this."

Though she may have been a toughened gangster on the outside, on the inside, Liz was a harmless, average girl of her age. She put on the coat, and Peeked out of the alley with Patty behind her. Seeing no cops, she and Patty moseyed out of the alley, arms over each others' shoulders. A good day, indeed.


	5. first impressions

Death the Kid sighed as he walked the descript streets of Brooklyn City.

He'd been in earth-realm for two weeks now, and he hadn't even found a SINGLE pair of twin weapons! He'd been searching mainly major cities so far, but soon he would have to resort to stupid rural towns… Kid remained vigilant. He would search this entire damned planet if he had to!

But first, he had to call father and inform him of his progress.

Kid ran over to a nearby window. It wouldn't be as good a connection as a true mirror, but it would do in a pinch. He breathed on the glass and began to trace, saying the numbers as he did so.

"42-4-GAH!"

The curtains behind the mirror had been whipped open, and behind the window now was the hideous face of an ancient old woman. She yelled, but Kid couldn't hear her behind the glass. He scampered away quickly.

"I need to find a place where I won't be interrupted." He thought to himself. Then a gleam of light from a nearby alley caught his eye.

"ah, perfect!" a window glinted in a dingy alley next to him. It had a crack, but it would still do. Kid ran over to it and began to dial his father…

xxxxxxxx

Liz and Patty were hanging out in their home alley, playing cards with a half-deck which they'd found in a dumpster.

"got any threes?"

"kee hee hee! Go fish! Go fish!" giggled Patty. Liz smiled as they took a card.

They were in the shadows, so they were not noticed by the boy in a tuxedo who ran up to a window in the opposite side of the alley.

"well well well. What do we have here? A richie boy who's strayed too far from his mama." Liz murmered to Patty, who giggled quietly. They readied themselves as they heard the boy muttering some numbers.

"42…"

Patty transformed.

"42…"

Liz caught Patty and quickly sneaked up behind the boy.

"5…"

Liz brung the gun up to the back of his head.

"6…"

She cocked the gun, and said, "What exactly do you think you're doing?"

xxxxxxxx

"what exactly do you think you're doing?"

Kid heard the "click" right behind his head, and froze, his hand still tracing the final number. He paused for a couple seconds as his breath on the pane faded, and the numbers disappeared. Then he was whipped around, and his back was forced to the wall.

Facing him, holding a gun to his chin, was a woman, probably about 18 or 19 years old. She wore a fur coat, and smoked a cigarette, which drooped from her mouth carelessly. She smirked as she dug the gun into the boy's chin.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" asked Kid.

"What's it look like we're doing? You're getting mugged, pretty boy." The girl growled. "now hand over your wallet, unless you want a bullet in your brain."

Kid laughed, startling the girl. "what kind of an IDIOT would carry MONEY in this part of town?"

The girl growled. "Ohh, a wise guy, huh?"

"kya ha ha! Not very wise if he talks to US like that!" came a little girl voice from nowhere. What on earth?

"Don't you know who we are, punk?" the woman continued.

"no, actually, I don't." said Kid.

Now it was Liz' turn to laugh. "we're the damn Thompson devils, Liz and Patty, last surviving members of the Vincetti empire! Feared throughout the city as the most brutal-" she was interrupted as Kid plucked the cigarette from her mouth, and crushed it under the heel of his italian loafer.

"tsk tsk! Disgusting habit. You should have been smoking two, as well, rather then one." He said scoldingly.

CRACK!

Kid saw stars as the girl slammed the gun barrel into the side of his head. "you little brat! I oughta kill you for that!"

"Are you Elizabeth or Patricia?" asked Kid, not fazed by the blow or the threat.

"Liz! What's it to you?" growled Liz.

"Well, Elizabeth-"

"What the hell! It's LIZ, not Elizabeth!" said Liz.

"Yes, but Liz is surely short for Elizabeth." Said Kid. "I am merely referring to you by your proper-"

CRACK!

Another explosion of stars as the gun slammed into the other side of his head. "good, now I'm symmetrical." Some tiny part of him thought.

"kya ha ha! That's right, sissy! Hit him good!" came a voice from nowhere. Kid looked around, who had said that?

"Last chance, kid! Hand over the damn money!" roared Liz, holding Patty in hands that were quivering with rage.

"I already told you, I don't have any." Said Kid, brushing himself off.

"Elizabeth," he said, trying to persuade her to let him go. "is this really how you want to spend the rest of your life? A filthy mugger who lies on the cold sidewalks at night, mugging innocent-"

"SHUT UP!" screamed Liz, hands positively shaking now.

"I'm just saying, are you really planning to spend the rest of your life on the streets, barely surviving-"

"you know what?" interrupted Liz, calming down and steadying her hands, pointing the gun squarely at Kid's head.

"fuck you."

BLAM!

Xxxxxxxx

Liz looked down at the kid who now lay facedown on the concrete, thanks to the bullet in his head.

"Sissy…" said Patty, leaning down and poking Kid. "…did you have to do that? He was kinda cute…"

"oh, shove it, patty. C'mon, lets get outta here before anyone sees the body."

Liz led the way out of the alley, not looking back. Patty stared at Kid for a second more, then skipped after Liz.

As they exited the alley, none of them noticed the body slowly beginning to move…


	6. Outlaws

"what the hell hit me?" was kid's first thought as he woke. As he looked to one side, head resting on the cold concrete, he witnessed the duo who had just mugged him walking out of the alley, not seeing him sit up against the wall.

"ow… I have a killer headache." Muttered Kid as he put a hand to his forehead. "wait a second…" he patted his head a couple times. No bloody wound.

If that had been a true gun, it would have left a bloody bullet wound, and knocked kid out for a few hours while his body fixed the hole. The girl must have been a weapon! Kid looked at the end of the alley which the girls exited through. Strange, though. An untrained weapon like that, while killing a mortal, should have just bounced off Kid, quite literally. But it actually knocked him out for a couple seconds, a quite impressive feat for an untrained weapon.

That weapon had serious potential. Pity she wasn't a twin of another weapon… oh well. Kid got up and walked out of the alley, in search of some asprin for his aching head.

XXXXXXXX

A couple hours later, Patty and Liz sat in another of their home alleys. Patty sat playing with a ragged stuffed giraffe, her only material possession. Liz sat nearby, tucked in a ball, silent.

"Sissy? You've been awful quiet ever since we mugged tux-boy." Asked Patty. Even her naïve nature couldn't ignore Liz' silence.

"Patty…" said Liz, looking at her sister. "I'm sorry. it's just… what that kid said really got to me.

"Is this how we're gonna really spend the rest of our lives? A couple of street rats in a dingy alley, mugging people, going to sleep on empty stomachs, on cold concrete?" Liz shivered, then stood, a fire in her eyes. "Patty, I say we take the next step up the criminal ladder."

"We're going from thug to outlaw."

Xxxxxxxx

It wasn't a very busy day at the first national bank of Brooklyn. Few customers came in. the bank was nearly empty when it happened.

The door was kicked open by a person, dressed all in black. Judging by the dirty blonde hair flowing out from under her black ski mask, it was a woman. She held a gun in her hands.

"NOBODY FUCKING MOVE!" she yelled, firing at the ceiling, making it rain plaster. The customers screamed. "EVERONE ON THE FLOOR!" the woman cried, stalking up to the counter, not lowering the gun.

"gimme money. Now." Threatened the blonde.

Whimpering, The attendant handed The mugger a half dozen bags of cash. Slinging the bags over one shoulder and waving the gun in her other hand, she said, "I'm gonna walk outta here now. Anyone follows, and somebody's gonna die!" with that, the woman ran out the door, firing blasts in her wake.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz smiled under the black ski mask as she fled the scene. Worked like a charm.

Xxxxxxxx

As the woman fled into the night, the terrified cashier smiled. Worked like a charm.


	7. Partners

"yahoo! We're motherfucking rich, patty!" cried Liz as she stared into one of the bags they had collected. There must have been $50,000 in all the bags combined! This'd put them on relatively easy street for a couple years, maybe even buy them a small apartment!

"sissy?" said Patty, looking into another bag.

"are coins supposed to go 'blinky'?"

The smile on Liz' face melted. She whipped her head around. "what are you talking about?" she muttered. Patty handed her something strange.

It was like a little disk, about the size of a quarter. A red light blinked in its center.

"It looks almost like a…" she said.

"…tracking device." An unfamiliar voice finished.

The girls' heads whipped around. At the end of the alley, three police officers stood, guns out, glares on their faces.

"OH SHIT!" screamed Liz. "PATTY, RUN!" she and patty ducked and weaved, dodging bullets and escaping out the other end of the alley.

"suspects headed north! Repeat, suspects headed north!" A police officer said to his walkie talkie as he rushed back to the car. "we need backup, these ones are slippery!" the three got in the car and peeled after the duo.

Xxxxxxxx

"Patty, get to the cooldown spot!" called Liz as she and patty tore down the street, still carrying a couple of the money bags.

"roger!" said Patty as she ran alongside Liz.

"the cooldown spot" was an abandoned warehouse at the end of the street, where Liz and Patty hid on the rare occasions the cops were on their tail. They hid there for a day or two, until the heat was off them.

They scampered through the doors of the warehouse, and locked them behind them.

"We did it, Patty. We made it." Puffed Liz.

"hee hee hee! Suckers!" cried Patty.

Suddenly, the lights in the warehouse turned on.

"suckers?"

"…well shit."

Xxxxxxxx

Kid walked down the street. He was in search of the meister and weapon he had been mugged by earlier. personal grudges aside, Father had persuaded him it was his duty to find weapon/meister combos on earth, and get them to come back to death city, where they would be safe.

As kid walked, he heard a commotion from a nearby warehouse. Shouting voices. Curious, Kid snuck in the back door, and went up some stairs, to a balcony of some sort. On it, as he hid behind a large stack of crates, he could see the entire warehouse.

He saw two dozen police officers, closing in on the very two girls he was looking for. The police officers pointed rifles and pistols, even machine guns at them.

"this could be interesting." Thought kid as he sat back to watch the show from behind the crates.

xxxxxxxx

"Thompson sisters." Said a particularly burly police officer at the head of the charge. "you two are wanted on 21 counts of first-degree and second-degree murder, 4 counts of arson, 187 counts of robbery…"

"Sis, i'll take 'em." Whispered Patty to Liz.

"Right." Said Liz. She was the one who wielded the gun most of the time, but when it came to speed and agility, Patty was far better then her.

Xxxxxxxx

As Kid poked his head out from behind the crates, he watched Liz transform into a gun, and Patty snatch her out of the air. The police officers readied their weapons, but Kid was no longer watching.

His jaw had dropped, and there were sparkles in his eyes. "they can both turn into guns…" he thought.

"they're symmetrical!"

he slammed his fist into his palm. He must have them!

"this is your last chance to back down!"

The burly police officer's yell brought Kid back to reality. The girls wouldn't stand a chance if he didn't intervene! Silently, he summoned Beelzebub.

Xxxxxxxx

"We'll die before we go to prison!" Liz yelled, her voice sounding a bit hollow due to her being in gun form.

"Yeah! Kya ha ha! Lets see how many of you I can gun down before you gun me down!" Said Patty, aiming her gun.

"Ok, you asked for it! We're gonna kill you!" Yelled the police officer. He was about to yell "fire" when a calm voice came from the dark rafters above him.

"I'm afraid I can't allow that."

The police officers and Thompsons both froze. Then their hands whipped up to the rafters.

Down floated a kid in a tuxedo, riding a skateboard.

For a moment, Patty thought she'd finally snapped, that she'd gone COMPLETELY psycho. Then she recognized him; it was the kid they mugged earlier that day!

"Hey! Hiiii!" Patty called cutely, waving Liz in the air.

"Patty… don't talk to the weirdo on the skateboard…" muttered Liz.

But Kid just nodded, and smiled. "hello, Patricia. You are Patricia, are you not?"

"not-krabby Patty! That's me!" Patty giggled, obviously having completely forgotten about the two dozen armed police officers in front of her.

Kid leapt to the ground, Beelzebub returning to the void as he landed facing the policemen. "you want to hurt Elizabeth and Patricia, you'll have to go through me."

"Ok, fine. Whatever. We'll just say you got caught in the crossfire. TAKE 'IM OUT BOYS!" the head police officer cried. The policemen charged, their guns clicking to full automatic.

Just a really quick topic shift here. Have you ever seen batman knock out two dozen thugs using just karate moves in "arkham city"?

Well that's basically what Kid did here. Go watch a video of batman if you want a picture, and replace him with Kid, and the thugs with popo.

Anyways, within three minutes, Kid was standing as the policemen laid on the floor, cradling their bruised and broken bones and moaning like ghosts.

"Hang on a moment." Said Kid as he spent another five minutes rearranging the police officers' bodies. Soon, to Liz and Patty's astonishment, Kid stood atop a huge pile of perfectly symmetrically arranged police bodies.

"who… who are you?" asked Liz in astonishment.

"I am the son of Shinigami-sama, aka Lord Death." Said Kid as he casually skidded down the pile and landed perfectly in front of the Thompsons.

"and I am here to extend to you a formal invitation to become my personal weapons." Kid smiled for the first time.

"Um… weapons?" asked Liz.

"Yes, weapons. You know, people like you, who can transform into blades or guns." Said Kid.

"There are OTHERS? I thought we were alone…" said Liz.

"I'll elaborate later. What I now offer you is a chance to escape this life. You have two options right now." He raised one hand to the exit door. "option one: you leave. You never see me again." He raised his other hand to them. "option two: you join me, and become my personal weapons, to fight by my side for as long as I live."

"Life of slavery or life on the streets, huh?" asked Liz.

"Oh heavens no, not slaves!" said Kid. "More like… partners."

"Would we have to get an apartment or something?" questioned Liz.

"That's the best part!" said Kid. "You wouldn't have to pay a cent! You would live in my enormous, luxurious manor, enjoying my father's near-limitless fortune, with as many clothes and dishes as you desire!"

Liz raised an eyebrow. "what's the catch? There's no such thing as a deal this good."

"Well, there is." Said Kid. "whaddya say, girls?"

"OOOO sis can we please please PUH-LEEEEZ?" begged patty, running over and grabbing Kid's still-outstretched hand.

"Patty!" said Liz, stunned that her sister would betray her so easily.

"c'mon sis! It's a good deal! Not to mention, we kind of owe him our lives. And he's a cute little sucker, too!" Patty pinched Kid's cheeks. "how can you resist this adowwable widdle face, Liz?" she pouted.

"Prrisha, yrr strchn m chees!" said Kid as Patty pulled his cheeks this way and that.

"ooh, he's so soft! What kind of moisturizer do you use, kid?" asked Patty gleefully.

Liz watched in astonishment as Patty messed with Kid. She'd never seen her sister like this. Sure, she was always happy, but up until now, it was psychotic, lunatic happy, like the Joker. But this was genuine happiness! If this rich Kid could really make them happy…

"Ok, kid. You got yourself a deal. But any tricks, and we're on the next flight to Brooklyn. Capiche?" Liz said.

"Oh yes yes YES! Thank you Elizabeth, THANK YOU! I won't disappoint you, I promise!" Kid danced around with glee. Then he shook his head to calm himself down. He held out his hand. "take my hand, and your new life begins."

Patty grabbed without hesitation, grabbing his hand with both of hers. Liz, after a few seconds of hesitation, slowly placed her palm on the pile of hands.

And with that, Kid teleported them away in a flash of white light, changing all of their fates forever.

XXXXXXXX

Quick author's section: due to stupid finals, I'm not sure when I'll be able to get more of these out. You can trust me, though, when I say I'll update as soon as possible! Thank you all for your kind support!


	8. The Manor

"WOO! Lets go again! Lets go again!" cried Patty when the teleporting was over.

Liz didn't say anything; mostly because if she opened her mouth, she'd throw up. She HATED roller coasters.

Once Liz had recovered, she looked around her. It was as though they were in Brooklyn, but… different. There was less color, and more black and white. Strange, cartoony skulls were everywhere. Bizzare.

"Darnit, I must be tired or something. I could have ported us to my front porch if I was alert."

"AAAAHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE MOON?" screamed Liz, pointing up at the creepy, grinning, blood-drooling moon. Liz hid behind Patty, terrified.

"…you scare easy, don't you?" asked Kid.

"oh, shaddup." Said Liz, trying to salvage some dignity.

"kya ha ha!" laughed Patty.

"c'mon, girls. Let's head to my place." Said Kid as he led them down the street.

Suddenly, not ten paces later, an orange motorcycle zoomed past them, very nearly hitting them. "delinquent punk!" Kid roared in its wake.

"You know that guy?" asked Liz, pointing a thumb over her shoulder.

"That's Soul 'Eater' Evans. The dirtiest hoodlum in the city, in my opinion. Lives on the other side of town, with his meister. No idea HOW she keeps him on a leash." Muttered Kid as he stalked on.

They walked like that for a while, with Patty zooming around them making motorcycle noises.

"Ah, here we are." Said Kid as they reached a set of what was surely at least a hundred steps.

"Wow." Thought Liz. "maybe this leads to the VIP neighborhood or something."

However, when they reached the top of the steps, they did not see a rich, urban community, but a single manor, perfectly symmetrical, at least 4 stories tall. It had another one of those weird skulls over the doorframe, Liz noted, and the bushes were also disturbingly symmetrical.

"This kid must really like symmetry." She thought to herself. The understatement of the year.

"You live HERE?" she said out loud to Kid.

"Yeah. I know it's not much, but-"

"NOT MUCH? It's HUGE!"

"Woooooooowwwww…" said Patty, her mouth forming a cute little "o" as she stared at the huge mansion.

"C'mon in, I'll show you the interior." Said Kid as he unlocked the door.

He led the Thompsons in to a huge anteroom, which had a huge white staircase.

"Not much color." Said Liz, noting the lack of color, and overload of black and white, in the house's general atmosphere.

"I like it that way. Easier to maintain." Said Kid as he climbed the stairs. "Now then." He said as he reached the top of the stairs and looked down at the Thompson sisters, who were at the bottom. "a few house rules."

The sisters groaned. The Thompsons were free spirits. They didn't do, "rules".

"Rule 1: don't touch anything. Your fingerprints might make it assymetrical." Said Kid as he slowly paced the top of the staircase.

"Rule 2: if you mess something up, put it back the way it was PERFECTLY. There are levels, protractors, scales, rulers, all that good stuff in the garage."

"Rule 3: ALWAYS dress identically from now on. We'll have to go shopping tomorrow to get you some clothes, but-"

"SHOPPING?" screamed the girls. They never got to really go shopping, considering they were generally strapped for cash as it was.

Kid looked at them, surprised. "Yes, shopping. So?" he said.

But the girls were no longer listening, they were dancing around with glee.

"shirts! Shoes! Jeans! Hats! Style! Fashion!" Was all Kid could make out of their chant.

Keep in mind, dear reader, that the only person Kid really interacted up to now was his father. He has no idea that saying "shopping" to a couple of girls is like showing a big, hungry steak to a couple of starving rottweilers. Not to mention, like I said earlier, the Thompsons had never been shopping before, they could just look in envy at fashion magazines they found in dumpsters.

"Um… girls? Girls, we'd better get to bed." Said Kid, glancing at one of the two watches he wore (one on each wrist).

"c'mon, Patty! The sooner we get to sleep, the sooner we get to go shopping!" squealed Liz.

"Yay! Yay! Yay!" cried Patty as the duo ran up the stairs.

"hey, HEY! Be sure to pick two bedrooms which are an exact distance apart from each other AND the central focal point of the house!" Kid cried as he ran after them.


	9. Bulls in a china shop

"So we can buy anything we want? As much as we want?"

"Yes." Kid answered Liz, as they walked down the street to the Death City mall.

"you're serious. As MUCH as we want." Asked Liz in astonishment.

"For the thousandth time, YES!" Kid answered Liz in frustration. "What is so difficult about this concept?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing at all." Said Liz as they walked on.

"It's just difficult to believe that someone could be this gullible." She thought as she stared at Kid.

Just a little tip for all the boyfriends out there: never never NEVER tell your girlfriend she can get "as much as she wants" when it comes to makeup and clothes. She takes that quite literally.

Xxxxxxxx

Bulls in a china shop.

That was what ran through Kid's mind as he looked at the decimated store.

He should have known he was in trouble when the Thompsons emitted an ear-splitting scream when he let them into the store.

"God, it feels like it's been forever." He said to himself. He dared not look at his watch; he didn't want to know how much time he had wasted sitting here.

"Hey, kid!" Kid looked up and saw, as usual, the Thompsons carrying huge stacks of clothes, makeup, and all that girly stuff.

"We're going to go and try these on." Came Liz' voice from behind one of the huge piles of stuff.

"again?" cried Kid. "Girls, this is the fifteenth stack of clothes you've accumulated! Do you have any idea how much this is going to cost?"

"Who cares?" said Patty. "You said we could get as much as we want, right?"

"How could I forget, with you reminding me every time I tried to get you to stop?" said Kid, but the girls were no longer listening as they scampered off to the changing room. "Oh my aching wallet… I'm gonna get reaper-chopped for wasting so much money." He muttered.

"Sir?" a store attendant had come up to Kid. He looked frazzled, being victim of the tornado that was the Thompson sisters. "Will you PLEASE get your girlfriends to leave? We're closing soon…"

"One they're not my girlfriends. Two, I thought you closed at eight o' clock." Said Kid.

"We do." Said the attendant quietly.

"But… we got here at eight in the morning…" Kid checked his watch. 7:45, sure enough.

Wait…

"I'VE BEEN HERE FOR TWELVE MOTHER####ING HOURS?" yelled Kid with rage. "those sluts must have cost me a million dollars by now! That's it, I'm hosting an intervention." Kid stalked to the changing rooms, leaving a terrified attendant in his wake.

"GIRLS!" Kid cried as he stormed into the womens' changing room. "I oughta-" Kid cut off as he stared at the enormous pile of clothes piled against the back wall of the changing room. The pile went from floor to ceiling!

Kid stormed over to the door which he heard the thompsons giggling behind. ("hee hee! Which should we try on next, Patty?" "Kya ha ha! The blue one, the blue one!")

Kid kicked the door open, WHAM!

Then he got a nosebleed.

Turns out the Thompsons were currently completely topless for some reason.

"YEEEK!" Liz cried as she threw a shoe at Kid, her other arm covering her boobs. "OUT! OUT YOU FILTHY PERV!" she screamed as she threw more shoes. A waterfall spouting from his nose, Kid quickly closed the door, but then Patty pounced on him.

"HIIII!" She cried as she hugged Kid, still topless. Kid's nosebleed increased.

"Patty! Get off him!" Liz said as she peeled Patty off Kid and slammed the door in Kid's face.

"Ever hear of KNOCKING, ya perv?" she yelled from behind the closed door.

Kid pulled a white hankerchief from his pocket, and began to mop up the blood from his nose. "Girls, you need to stop spending so much!" he cried.

"But you said-"

"YES, I KNOW I SAID YOU CAN SPEND AS MUCH AS YOU WANT!" screamed Kid. "I just didn't expect you to spend HALF MY FATHER'S GODDAMN FORTUNE!" he gestured at the mountain of clothes.

"You should have chosen your chosen your words more carefully then, now, shouldn't you?" Said Liz, a smug in her voice.

"Girls, the store is closing soon!" Kid roared, a note of desperation in his voice.

"Well, can't you bribe the manager or something? You're filthy rich, after all." Said Liz.

This was the last straw. If they weren't going to give up nicely… he stalked out of the changing room, over to the electronics section.

Xxxxxxxx

"Patty, do these panties make my butt look fat?" asked Liz as she showed them to patty, naked otherwise.

"Your butt's always fat." Said Patty, considering a shirt, also nearly naked.

"har dee har har." Said Liz as she began to change. Then she stopped. There it was again. "Patty, do you hear something?"

"hear what, sis?" asked Patty, holding up a bra to see if it fit her.

"sort of a clicking noise." Said Liz, continuing to change.

"meh, that's just the camera." Said Patty.

"Oh, ok." Said Liz, about to put on another pair of panties.

Then what Patty said registered.

"CAMERA?" screamed Liz, whipping her head around.

"Yeah, the one which Kid's holding." Patty pointed to a pale pair of hands which held a camera above the stall, pointed right at the girls.

"YEEEEEK!" Liz shrieked, desperately trying to cover herself.

"Either you girls pick two or three sets of clothes and come out of there right now, or I swear to FATHER I will post these on an internet escort site and include our freaking address and phone number!" came Kid's voice. "I may even actually let them take you!"

Needless to say, the girls were following Kid through the parking lot not five minutes later, each carrying only a couple bags of clothes.


	10. Names

"Hey, tux." Said Liz as Kid drank some orange juice.

It was the day after the shopping incident, and Liz and Patty were eating breakfast with their meister. Now they each wore a pair of pink jammies and some fuzzy slippers. Kid wore a black robe.

"Yeah?" asked Kid, putting down the glass and wiping his lip.

"what's your name? I never learned it."

Kid looked at her. "What's that?"

"what's what?"

"a name."

"Excuse me?" asked Liz.

"I've never heard of a 'name' before. Is it some kind of a pet or something?"

"KYA HA YA!" laughed Patty.

"um… how can you not know what a name is." Said Liz.

"What? What is it?" asked Kid, now a little worried.

"Um… it's… it's what you call yourself…" Liz said slowly, not really sure how to describe a name. "Like my name is Liz, or Patty's name is Patty."

"don't wear it out!" Patty giggled.

"Well… I don't know it." Said Kid.

"How can you not-"

"I just don't ok? Father always refers to me as 'son', and He's the only one I've ever really interacted up to now." Said Kid, sounding almost sad.

"Um… Ok…" said Liz. She could see it in his eyes, he was telling the truth. Still, though, how could somebody honestly NOT know their name?

"KYA HA HA! I wanna call him stripes!" said Patty.

"Stripes?" asked Kid, looking at Patty.

"because of those three stripes in your hair." Said Patty, pointing at Kid's hair.

(we all know what's coming next… -author)

Kid's eyes grew watery, and he began to bawl. "I'M SUCH GARBAGE! ASSYMETRICAL GARBAGE!" he wailed, slamming his face down on the table.

"what the hell?" asked Liz. This was officially the first time she had ever seen one of Kid's symme-tantrums.

"KYA YA YA!" laughed Patty, pointing at the sobbing Kid.

Shaudenfraude: taking joy or happiness in others' misery.

As Kid wailed, the Thompsons slowly snuck away.

About an hour later, Kid got up the floor (he had managed to fall down there at some point) and wiped his face. "Where was i? ah yes, as I was saying, I don't know my name- hey where'd you go?" said Kid, looking around for the long-gone Thompson sisters.

"weird." Said Kid. Then he went over to the living room, to calm himself down by reading.

"what on earth could my name be? Obviously father doesn't know either, or he would have told me in the century and a half he's known me." He muttered as he perused his vast collection of books.

Then he noticed a particularly dusty book which he had never seen before. "a history of cowboys."

"huh," Kid said as he picked out the book and blew some dust off the cover. "this is new." He sat down and began to read.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz was sitting painting her nails when she heard a loud "EUREKA!" from downstairs. She looked up as she heard Kid shout, "LIZ! PATTY! I'VE FIGURED OUT MY NAME!" Liz rolled her eyes and hopped off the bed. She went over to the stairs, where Kid was jumping up and down with glee, holding some book.

"kya ha ha! What's the book?" asked Patty as she ran up from the opposite direction.

Kid held up the book, something about cowboys from what Liz could glimpse. "I figured out my name! it's perfect!

"I'm Death the Kid!"

Liz and Patty stared. "what kind of a name is that?" asked Liz.

"a perfect one!" cried Kid joyfully. "see here!" he opened to a bookmarked page, then showed it to the girls.

"Billy the Kid." Huh.

"Ok… I guess it works. But is there any particular reason…" Liz was cut off by Kid.

"Look! Look!" said Kid, pointing to a paragraph on the page. "Billy the kid used guns! I use guns! We're the same!" Kid danced around. "Perfect! Perfect!"

"'Death the Kid'. Has a ring to it, I admit." Said Liz.

"kya ha ha! DANCE PARTY!" cried Patty as she imitated kid doing his little happy dance.


	11. The First Step

WOW! Everyone's so nice here! Just wanted to say thank you all for being so kind!

Anyways, I think that, if nothing changes, I'll be able to get at least one chap out every day except Wednesday (unless something comes up :P)

Again, thanks to you all! You guys rule!

XXXXXXXX

It was about a week since Liz and Patty mugged the little tuxedo-wearing nitwit on the street, and they were quickly beginning to get sick of him.

First of all, he was so tight and stiff, it was like he was bound in ropes. He never engaged in conversation, and he never played any of patty's little stuffed animal games (which consisted mostly of her beating the crap out a giraffe which another person held for her.)

Also, he seemed to have no sense of humor, and he popped out of nowhere at the most inconvenient of times.

And don't even get started on the symmetry thing! Every time the sisters brushed their hand against a wall or something, he'd practically come out of the floor with a washrag and some scrubbing bubbles®.

Liz really wondered if they were going to make ANY progress whatsoever toward friendship with this little dweeb.

And then, they did.

Xxxxxxxx

"Elizabeth! Patricia! Come here, if you will."

Liz sighed and walked out of her bedroom to the living room. Kid was there with a couple of crates.

"Girls, we are going to meet my father." Said Kid. When there was no reaction, he stared at them, as if he expected them to be stunned or something.

"Who's your father?" asked Liz nonchalantly.

"shinigami-sama." Kid said proudly.

"shizzy-wizzle-who-now?" asked Patty.

Kid rolled his eyes and muttered something about Americans. Liz' fists clenched. "He's the grim reaper." Said Kid. "Now i-"

"Whoa whoa back the #### up." Said Liz, holding up her hands. "your father is the grim reaper."

"yes."

"the grim mother####ing reaper."

"that is correct."

"the dude in the black robe who swings around a scythe."

"Elizabeth, you asked me that twice in a row already. What answer do you expect." Kid rolled his eyes again.

"I know, it's just… wow." Said Liz numbly.

"I told you I was the son of lord death, did I not? My name is 'Death the Kid', is it not?"

"Yeah, but… I kinda thought you were messing around, like that was a title or something."

"nope. I'm the son of the grim reaper." Kid said nonchalantly.

"so you're immortal and you can fly and stuff?" asked Patty.

"well, I can't fly and I'm not QUITE immortal… but I age only ten years for a hundred of yours."

"and your age is…" asked Liz, almost scared of the answer.

"153." Said Kid, checking his nails.

"wow." Said Liz.

"You don't look a day over 125!" piped Patty.

"You flatter me." Said Kid, his pale cheeks blushing only slightly, like strawberry ice cream, minus half the strawberry. "ANYWAY!" he exclaimed, turning to the crates behind him. "as I was saying, You simply MUST dress nicer then THAT…" he pointed to the girls' casual jeans and tees. "So, I have chosen some dresses for you." He plucked out of one crate a pair of beautiful blue dresses.

"OOO!" said Liz, snatching a dress. "It's pretty!"

"Patty doesn't like blue." Said Patty, blowing a raspberry.

Promptly, Kid snatched back the blue dress from Liz and placed them back in the crate. "HEY! I liked that!" cried Liz in indignation.

"I REFUSE to put one of you in a dress and not the other." Said Kid as he went over to the other crate. "fortunately, I anticipated this, so I prepared a backup pair." Kid pulled out a pair of dresses which were just like the last ones, but pink.

"PATTY LOVES PINK!" Patty cried, pouncing on the dress.

"Ick. Pink goes TERRIBLE with my eyes." Said Liz, turning her nose up at the pink dress.

"But… those were the only two pairs of dresses I picked out…" said Kid, obviously not expecting to have BOTH dresses rejected. "Fine. Whatever." He said, beginning to leave. "I'll just go pick up some yellow ones."

"Tacky." Said Liz. Patty blew another raspberry.

"well-" began Kid, stopping and turning around.

"I want the blue dress!" said Liz, pulling it back out of the crate and hugging it.

"And I want the pink!" cried Patty, hugging the respective dress as well.

"Well you can't wear both at the same TIME!" said Kid, half exasperated, half furious.

"why noooottt?" whined the girls.

"IT'S NOT SYMMETRICAL!" cried Kid, stamping his foot on the floor.

Liz snapped. She'd had it with the symmetry bullshit. "You know what?" she said, going up to Kid, who was a foot and a half shorter then her. Kid gulped and backed up.

"I have had it up to HERE (she raised her hand above her head for a moment) with your STUPID symmetry obsession!" cried Liz.

"Symmetry is the definition of order and predictability, Liz! It is what defines the universe!" said Kid.

Liz saw red. "Well if you can't stop with the symmetry bullshit even to allow us to wear two different dresses for the FIRST time that we've spent with you, then you can TAKE your symmetry obsession and SHOVE IT UP YOUR GODDAMN ASS!" With appropriate gestures, Liz ran off, almost at tears. She'd HAD it with this little idiot and how he got mad at every little thing she did!

No matter how perfectly she did something, he always found SOMETHING to criticize about it. She cried into her pillow, feeling useless.

Xxxxxxxx

A half hour later, Liz was calmed down, and she sat against the headboard of her four-poster canopy bed, reading "M". (the teen magazine my sister always reads. – author)

She heard a knock at the door. "It's me. Can I come in?" said Kid.

"what the hell do you want?" asked Liz irritably.

Kid stuck his head in. "Hey, listen…" he said, stumbling over his words, like he didn't know what he was saying. "… I just wanted to tell you… I-I've been thinking about what you said earlier… You're right. It WAS rather unreasonable of me to object to some stupid dresses like that." Kid chuckled weakly.

Then Kid stepped all the way in, and Liz saw he was carrying the blue dress.

"you-can-wear-the-blue-one-Patty-can-wear-the-pink-we-leave-in-fifteen-minutes-let-us-never-speak-of-this-again." He rattled off, throwing the dress at Liz and scampering out of the room.

Liz picked it up, and looked at it. It must have cost thousands of dollars, it was crafted so finely.

"And Liz?" said Kid, sticking his head in one last time. "If it means anything… I'm proud of you for standing up to me like that. Nobody ever had the guts to do that before." Then he quickly withdrew his head, and gently closed the door.

Liz stared at the door. "It does mean something." She thought in her head as she put on the dress.

"It means a lot."


	12. The Die is Cast

Play "Army of Doom" by Jon Brooks" when you read this. It really enhances the atmosphere. - author

XXXXXXXX

"Well, here we are." Said Kid as the trio stood outside of the door which, supposedly, led to the lair of the grim reaper. "go on ahead. He's ready to see you." Kid gestured to the door.

"wait… y-you're not coming with us?" whimpered Liz. She wasn't going to face death himself alone!

"Father requested to speak with you two privately at first. Besides, you won't be on your own." Said Kid, smiling. "Patty will be with you the whole time!"

"Well, that's a little better…" said Liz, straightening back up. Her little sister was way braver then her, and fought when Liz could not.

"Lets go, lets goooo!" whined Patty as she stood in front of the door hopping up and down.

"I'll wait here." Said Kid, sitting on a bench next to the door.

Liz took a deep breath. She felt strangely unprepared, even though she looked gorgeous in her blue dress, and Patty also looked adorable in her pink one, bouncing up and down.

She pushed open the massive red door. With a low, ominous "creeeeeeeak…' it admitted them inside.

As soon as the Thompsons stepped inside, the door SLAMmed shut behind them. Liz screamed and pulled the handle, but it was locked.

"shhh… calm down, onee-chan… it's ok…" murmered Patty to her whimpering sister.

"Patty… be a good little sister and lead the way, won't you?" squeaked Liz. Obligingly, Patty straightened up and led the way, Liz hunched over and trying to hide behind her, clutching her shoulders in a death grip.

The room was almost pitch-black, with a dim red glow coming from ahead. Liz happened to look up, and made a small noise, like a mouse being stepped on. The hallway they were walking through… was made of guillotines. Liz whimpered and buried her face in Patty's shoulderblades.

After a few seconds, Liz worked up the courage to look around again.

And immediately wished she had kept her face hidden.

She and her sister had walked out of the guillotine hall, but into an even more terrifying room.

Surrounding them were crude crosses; makeshift tombstones. Above them as a dark red-purple mass of clouds, swirling slowly in a circle.

In front of them was an ebony pedestal. Engraved into it and around it were images of people going through excruciatingly painful deaths.

At the far end of the huge, low pedestal, was a full-length, gold-rimmed mirror. Patty led the terrified Liz up the couple steps which led to the top of the pedestal. Then she stood still a half dozen feet from the mirror.

Liz decided she wasn't going to show any weakness in front of death. She straightened up and stood side by side with her sister.

Then, the mirror turned black, and the clouds swirled faster. Out of the mirror came a bulge. Then, in a small black explosion, out of the mirror came a terrifying beast.

It had a skull face, and a crooked, squiggly body, which balanced on one foot which dug into the earth. It had horrendous claws, which were sharp as razorblades. Crudely scratched into one of them was the word "DEATH".

The terrible being raised its claws high above its head, then, ripping them down to its sides, caused the swirling, terrible clouds above them to rain horrifying, deadly orange lightning, striking between him and the girls, not 6 inches from Liz' nose, with a deadly SKRA-KOOOOMMM!

Liz did the normal thing.

She screamed.

She stared at the huge creature and its terrible power and screamed like a mother####ing banshee.

"Aw, shit!" said the monster.

It stopped the lightning storm, and waved its hands in front of it in a "quiet down" motion as it moved towards Liz. "sh-sh-sh-sh-sh! Don't cry! It's ok! It's ok!"

If anything, Liz screamed louder, squeezing her eyes shut tight. "PATTY GET IT AWAY FROM ME! GET IT THE #### AWAY FROM ME!" she shrieked as she rapidly backed up.

"Bad monster! Don't scare sis!" said Patty, kicking the monster in its foot-tendril.

"Ow! Ooh! Oo-hoo-hoo!" cried Death as he hopped around in pain. Patty hugged her sister, half to comfort her, half to keep her from falling down the stairs.

Liz continued to bawl for a few minutes. Then she opened her eyes slowly.

And gasped.

The room had completely changed when she had her eyes shut.

(if you took my suggestion, switch to a happier tune now. – audio author)

Well, not COMPLETELY. The tombstone-crosses still went for as far as the eye can see, and a glance behind her confirmed the guillotines were still there.

The sky now, was only partly cloudy. The clouds were white, puffy, and cheerful, and the sky was a bright blue.

The pedestal beneath their feet had changed, too, to a simple white circle.

Death had disappeared, but as Liz continued to hug her little sister, another bulge came from the mirror, and out popped the happy version of Shinigami-sama.

"seriously, are you ok?" he said, placing a foam-glove-like hand on Liz' shoulder.

"um… i… I guess…" Liz said slowly, surprised by the complete change in the room's atmosphere.

"Would you like a cup of tea to calm down?" asked Death, plucking a teacup and saucer from thin air and handing them to Liz.

"Um… thanks…" she said as she maneuvered off of Patty and delicately took the cup and saucer.

As she sipped, her eyes widened. "this is really good!" she said as she drained the entire thing in one gulp.

"Glad you liked it." Said Shinigami-sama, snapping his fingers and causing the cup to disappear into thin air. "My own special recipie never fails to calm people down." He gave a little chuckle.

Patty stopped hugging Liz, and ran over and hugged Death instead. "You're funny! Ha ha!" she said.

"Aww, thanks!" said Lord Death, patting Patty gently on the head.

"so, um… you're Lord Death?" asked Liz, tilting her head.

"Right-a-roonie!" said Shinigami-sama.

"who was that guy earlier, then." Asked Liz.

"Eh, I always do that when I meet new people. Sort of a test of courage. You'd be surprised what it can reveal about people." Said Death.

"Um…" said Liz, now a bit ashamed of her terror earlier.

"It's ok, Liz." Said Lord Death, putting his big gloved hand on her shoulder. "Don't be ashamed of fear. Embrace it."

Liz stared at this nice creature who had been terrifying two minutes ago. She was still having a hard time believing that Death himself was this harmless.

"How did you know my name?" asked Liz.

"Kid contacted me earlier." said Lord Death, returning to his bubbly, bouncy voice. "He told me about you. I must say, you're even more beautiful then he described you."

Liz blushed, her cheeks turning a deep red. "You wanted to see us privately?"

"Ah! Yes. I wanted to talk to you girls." He patted Patty once more and gently guided her back next to Liz, where she stood happily.

"I wanted you to know exactly what you're getting into. Exactly what did Kid tell you when he asked you to join him?"

"He said…" said Liz, pausing for a couple seconds, remembering. "…he said that he would weild us in weapon form, and we would be partners. Something like that."

"Ah yes." Said Shinigami-sama, raising a huge white finger. "BUT! Did he tell you exactly what he would be wielding you AGAINST? Did he tell you what your GOAL would be if you joined him."

"now that you mention it… no, neither." Said Liz.

"As I thought." Said Death, retracting his glove into his cloak.

"Girls," Lord Death said, "In this world, both earth-realm and soul-realm, There are beings we call kishin."

"key-shun?" asked Patty.

"KIH-shin." Corrected Shinigami-sama.

"Kishin are what used to be mortals. In mortal form, they feared death. They feared it so much, they did what mortals, weapons, even gods are forbidden to do.

"They ate human souls."

Liz and Patty shuddered. That didn't sound pleasant.

"Eating multiple human souls - about 5 or so, transforms a mortal into a immortal Kishin. But there is a price.

"Kishin are hideous beasts. They are immortal, but they walk this world forever alone, rejected by all society, eating human souls, lamenting their lost lives."

"But why would anyone choose to become a Kishin at all, if that is their fate?" asked Liz, shrugging.

"That is an excellent question, one which even I am not quite sure of. What could drive one to be so scared of death that they became cursed monsters in order to stay alive?

"Perhaps they commited some terrible deed, garunteed to send them to hell, and they didn't want to go there. Perhaps they craved the raw power which comes with being a Kishin. Or perhaps they simply didn't know of the curse, and all they knew was that human souls would make them immortal.

"It is a mystery which may remain forever unsolved." Lord Death shook his head. "But I'm getting off track here.

"If you agree to become my son's weapons, you will spend the rest of your lives defeating these horrible beasts. You will protect him with your lives, and create an incredibly strong, unbreakable bond with him."

"What's in it for us?" asked Liz, folding her arms.

"Well," said Shinigami-sama, "If you eat 99 Kishin souls and 1 witch soul – each, mind you- you will become an invincible, immortal Death Scythe. You will be revered beyond comprehension, for all eternity."

Liz raised an eyebrow. "sounds pretty good." She said.

"YAY! I wanna be a death scythe! I wanna be a death scythe!" cheered Patty, jumping around.

"HOWEVER!" Death said, cutting Patty off mid-dance. "If you agree to fight with my son, you will be obligated – nay, required to spend your life, if it means saving his."

"mmm-hmmm." Said Liz, now rather skeptical.

"I now offer you one final chance to back out." Shinigami-sama released his hands, now each clenched around something.

He opened one of them to reveal two green pills resting on his palm. "If you take these green pills, you will wake up on the sidewalk, free to do as you please."

He opened his other hand, and in it rested two dark purple pills. "You take these purple ones, and you stay in wonderland for the rest of your lives, and I show you just how deep the rabbit-hole goes."

Liz and Patty stared.

"Last chance to back out, girls. No matter which pills you take, there will be no turning back." Said Shinigami-sama.

"Ok, two-girl huddle." Said Liz, pushing Patty out of Death's earshot, to the other side of the pedestal.

"What do you think we should do, Patty?" asked Liz.

"I think we should stay here." Said Patty, smiling.

"Um, Patty…" said Liz nervously. "I don't think you heard the whole 'risking our lives and sacrificing ourselves' bit."

"It'll be fun!" said Patty cheerfully. "We'll go on fabulous, incredible adventures, and get to buy more dresses, and eat whatever we want, and have lots and lots of fun!"

"well…" contemplated Liz.

"C'mon, Onee, where's your sense of adventure?" questioned patty.

"Yeah, Liz, where's your sense of adventure?" asked Death.

"Well I just- HEY!" Liz jumped back from Shinigami-sama, who had just appeared out of nowhere.

"How'd you do that?" asked Patty in astonishment.

Lord Death raised a foam finger. "Tricks of the trade, m'dear, tricks of the trade." Then he backed up, as the sisters stood side by side in front of him.

"time's up, girls." He said, pulling out the pills again. "what's it gonna be?"

Liz paused. Patty was right. It would be more fun then just laying around on the streets. And they would go to sleep in warm beds, with cute clothes and stuffed animals.

And if they died… they died.

"Ok!" She said, picking up a purple pill, Patty picking up the other. They looked into each others' eyes, and nodded. Then they swallowed the pills.

Immidiately, Liz felt a surge of power flow through her. It was as though she'd swallowed a lightning bolt. She looked at her skin, to see purple ripples flow across it for a second, then vanish, as though absorbed.

"The die is cast." Said Shinigami-sama.

"Your life forces are now tied to Kid. Whatever happens, your fates are bound to each other.

"also, I included some bonus magic. Unless you die in battle, as long as Kid lives, you shall live."

"Bonus!" chirped Patty as she stared into her skin.

"Welcome to your new life, girls." Said Death, happily. "Now to go get my son, and discuss things with all three of you!" Death sped off towards the door, bending back comically from the speed. Giggling, Patty tore after him. Liz followed at a more dignified speed, wondering what was to come.


	13. Target Practice

"Dammit Kid, you're doing it wrong!"

Kid sighed as he stood in the middle of the basement of gallows manor, aka the training room.

There were red-and-white targets all around the room, just waiting to be blasted to oblivion.

Not many were hit, though; most of the shots were just on the walls around the vigilantly standing targets, missed shots.

Kid stood in the center of the room, listening to his guns critiquing his shots. The Thompsons had been at this game for years, and they were way better at it then Kid was.

"Kid, you need to SQUEEZE the trigger, not jerk it!" Liz cried, exasperated by the way Kid near always missed. Even on the times he didn't miss, he only clipped the target, or got one of the outer rings.

"Kya ha ha! Aim higher, aim higher!" giggled Patty.

"Patricia, not 5 minutes ago, you were telling me to aim LOWER!" Kid cried, staring at his gun, his pointer finger curled around the trigger.

"Well it depends! The farther away, the higher you shoot!" said Patty.

"See, I didn't know that! You have to TELL me these things!" Kid dropped his guns and fell to the floor, in his classic "banging-fist-on-floor" pose. "I'm such garbage! Worthless garbage! I can't even hit a stupid target!" he wailed.

"Oh brother." Said Liz as she waited for her meister to calm down. Patty, of course, laughed like a hyena.

About five minutes later, Kid was ready to try again. He grabbed his guns and fired another furious barrage of blasts at one of the targets. Almost all of them were misses.

"This isn't working. I'm doing something wrong." Muttered Kid as he thought to himself.

"No shit, Sherlock" said Liz.

Then Kid snapped his fingers. "I've got it!" he cried.

"got wha-AAAA?" cried Liz as she was flipped straight up into the air. Kid then caught them, as they came back down.

"Kya ha ha!" laughed Patty. "That was fun!"

"now I'm all dizzy." Said Liz grumpily. Then she noticed something.

"Kid… you're holding us upside down." She said.

Sure enough, Kid's pinkies now rested on the triggers as he held his guns upside-down.

"Precisely, Liz!" cried Kid as he aimed at another target.

"You are aware that it'll be harder to aim this way, and your shots will come slower- what the hell?" she exclaimed as Kid fired another barrage at a target.

Perfect shots.

"Hell yea!" cried Kid.

"How did you…" asked Liz. Even Patty was stunned into silence.

"Let's try again!" said Kid, firing at another target. Sure enough, more bulls-eyes.

"Kid, how are you DOING that?" asked Liz in wonder.

"I honestly don't know. It just feels… right… this way." Said Kid. "Let's do it with style now!"

Then Kid launched into a 30-second display of agility, bouncing off walls, leaping through the rafters, jumping in midair summersaults, firing blasts all the while.

"Holy SHIT!" cried Liz as Kid landed in the dead center of the room.

Perfectly centered in each target was a barrage of shots arranged in a perfect number 8.

"Damn, that's some good shootin tex! Kya ha ha!" cheered Patty.

"Thank you, Patricia." Kid said as he tossed the girls behind him and they transformed.

"Let's work on poses next."


	14. 2 big problems

"OK, lets take it from the top." Said Kid, holding his guns and facing a mirror. He tossed his guns behind him, and they transformed. The trio formed their trademark pose, one behind the other behind the other. (see episode 3 of the anime/manga. – author)

"Hmm… not bad, not bad…" said Kid as he straightened up as he circled around the Thompson sisters, who remained posed, as requested. "proper footwork… correct arm angles… woop! Hold on!" Kid quickly put his fingers to the corners of Liz' stern mouth, and centered it. "perfect." He sighed as he stood back to admire the girls from the front.

Then he gasped.

"No… no way…" he stuttered.

"What'd we do wrong with the pose now?" asked the tired Liz.

"No, no, the pose is fine. It's just… stand side by side, you two." Said Kid quickly.

Shrugging, the girls obliged. Kid stared closely at them, unnerving Liz.

"I KNEW IT!" cried Kid, startling the girls. Then Kid pointed at Patty's chest. "Patricia, your chest is far larger then your sisters!" he yelled in horror.

Liz sniffled. "Way to rub it in." she said sadly.

"Sis is sensitive about her boobies being smaller then mine." Explained Patty as she patted her sister on the shoulder.

"she's a G… and I'm only a D! how is that fair?" sobbed Liz.

"no no NO!" cried Kid, holding his head. "now you are no longer symmetrical! Noooo! What can I do what can I do what can I DO?"

"Kid, you can't do anything. This is one thing you CAN'T change." Said Liz, tears replaced with frustration.

Kid tapped his chin for a few seconds, thinking. Then he raised a finger in the air. "I got it!" he cried. Then he made a break for the stairs up from the basement.

"Where the hell are you going now?" shouted the exasperated Liz after him.

"To the nearest hardware store, to purchase an automatic milking machine!" he cried almost heroically as he ran out the door.

Liz and Patty stared after him. "He's gonna…" said Liz quietly.

"KYA HA HA! What would he need a milking machine for? We don't have a cow! I would have heard the oinking!" Patty began to make oink noises, but then Liz leaned down and whispered in her ear. Patty paled. "oh jeez…" she said, covering her breasts. "I don' wanna be milked, sis!" she said, on the verge of tears.

"It's ok, Pat, it's ok. Nobody's getting milked." Comforted Liz to the quietly sobbing Patty. "I'll see if I can talk some sense into him." She patted her little sister on the head, then tore after Kid.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz ran into the nearest Home Dead-po, in search of Kid. "Now I get to search a huge hardware store in search of a symmetry crazed lunatic. Oh joy." She muttered sarcastically to herself.

Actually, it wasn't as hard as she anticipated. The screaming helped.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MILKING MACHINES?"

Liz ran in the direction of the screaming voice. She turned a corner to see Kid yelling at a attendant.

"Sir, Death City isn't exactly known for its cows…" said the attendant, quivering.

"Well that's no excuse to not keep every item in stock! Don't you say no to me, I'm the son of death! I've defeated more monsters then your house is worth! I-mmph!" Kid's rant was cut off by Liz putting her hand over his mouth. She mouthed "sorry" to the attendant as she dragged Kid off.

"Kid, you are NOT going to milk Patty." Said Liz firmly once they were out of earshot.

"Oh yes I am! Otherwise you two won't be symmetrical!" said Kid.

"Kid, women's breasts aren't all the same size! It's a fact of life!" Liz almost screamed at him.

"Well it's not a fact which is going to be in my house. Now if you'll excuse me, I must run to the next store!" Kid got up, but Liz grabbed his lapels. There must be SOMETHING she could say to make him stop!

Then Liz got an idea.

An awful idea.

Liz got a wonderful, awful idea!

"if you start rhyming, I'm suing for copyright." Said the Grinch with a face that would give anyone fright. (sorry. I'll stop now.)

"Ok, Kid. Fine. Get your stupid milking machine." Said Liz, letting him go.

Kid, naturally, was suspicious by this sudden surrender. "Why are you just giving up like this, Liz?" he asked.

"Nothing. Go ahead and milk Patty. Just remember, though…" and here Liz grinned demonically.

"If you get to milk Patty, then I get to milk YOU."

Kid looked at her, confused. "Elizabeth, I do not have a pair of sexual organs which you CAN milk." He said.

"Or do you?" said Liz mischeviously.

She waited a few seconds for it to sink in. then Kid paled. "You wouldn't… you couldn't…" he muttered.

"Oh I would and I will." Said Liz triumphantly.

Consequently, Kid never purchased his milking machine.

Although he does complain at least once a week about the girls' breasts.

And he makes Liz drink a glass of milk a day.


	15. caring

"Elizabeth, Patricia! Good news!" said Kid.

The trio had trained together for a week or so now, and they were getting used to each others' fighting styles, even if they weren't quite used to each other's personalities.

"I got us a mission!" Kid said to the girls on the couch.

"A Kishin Mission?" said Patty, giggling.

"Yes. We leave tonight."

"Tonight?" cried Liz. "but I have to pack, and choose clothes, and-"

"Calm down, Elizabeth!" Said Kid, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We're only going to be there overnight. We kill the Kishin, then we come straight back."

"good." Said Liz.

"What do you say we go down for one more round of training, girls? There's something I've been meaning to try." Said Kid.

"I'm down." Said Liz.

"Fire away, cap'n!" said Patty.

Xxxxxxxx

5 minutes later, in the training room.

"Ok, guys, as you know, you compress my soul wavelength and fire it, automatically." Said Kid. "However, I want to see what exactly happens when I try injecting my soul wavelength INTO you and firing."

"Is this gonna hurt?" whimpered Liz.

"Only as much as a branding iron." Said Kid. When Liz' whimpering increased, he said, "I was attempting to make a joke, Elizabeth."

"Ok…" said Liz. Kid didn't make jokes often. His funniest jokes were when he was not even aware of them.

"Here we go." Said Kid, raising the guns to a target. Then he tried to force his soul wavelength down his arms, into his weapons.

It was impossible to imagine what Kid was feeling then his wavelength merged with the Thompson sisters for the first time. It was a surge of power unlike anything else. In an involuntary response, instead of only injecting a small burst like he planned, it was almost like Liz and Patty were sucking the soul energy OUT of him. It felt… really good.

"Kid, we're flying!" "Whee!"

Sure enough, Kid was hovering a foot off the ground. Black spikes erupted out of the backs of his shoulders and upper arms. Liz and Patty rippled with purple energy and morphed into huge, silver blasters, which encompassed Kid's whole hands, and were nearly as big as he was.

"WHOA! We're HUGE!" said Liz. "I mean, we're - black needle charge at 97%. - …um, why did I say that?"

"How did you know that at all, Onee-chan? You – noise at 4.3%. – WHOA! I did it too!"

"What's going – Soul resonance at 241%. – Seriously, how am I saying these?"

Kid thrust his weapons forwards as orange light began to gather in the barrels.

"Feedback in 3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"Fire away!" cheered Patty.

"DEATH CANNON!" Kid screamed, and an enormous orange laser, thick as an oak tree, fired from Liz and Patty at the poor, poor target.

The explosion could be heard for miles.

Xxxxxxxx

"Holy shit!"

Liz and Patty stared out the huge hole in the wall.

The death cannon had not just obliterated the target, but blasted straight though the wall behind it, and three buildings, too, before fizzling out.

"That looks expensive." Said Liz quietly.

"Lucky we only hit the wall of the training room, or Kid would go ballistic." Said Patty.

"Speaking of which, we'd better get him out of here, before he wakes up and sees the hole." Said Liz, turning around to stare at the crumpled Kid.

Since it was his first time, the blast took so much out of Kid, it completely drained him, and he had collapsed into unconsiousness as soon as it had finished.

Liz picked up Kid, piggybacking him up the stairs, still remembering the feeling she'd experienced when she'd felt Kid's wavelength.

She had, just for a second, felt his hidden depth of caring for the sisters.

On the outside, he was a hard, uncaring shell, never praising the girls, never playing with them.

The fragment of his wavelength she felt, though, told a different story.

Kid's depth of love and compassion for the two sisters knew no bounds. It was incredible, how much he cared for them.

Liz was such a jerk to him, and Patty annoyed the crap out of him… and yet he cared so much about them…

"Patty, did you feel that too?" Liz asked.

"His wavelength? Yeah, totally." Patty replied.

The sisters said nothing more about it as they carried Kid up to his bed.

There was nothing more to be said.


	16. Not a Game

Plip. Plip.

Water dropped from the roof of an ancient cathedral.

Glancing at it, with its stone towers and brick walls, you would have thought you were a hundred years into the past. Until you looked down.

The illusion was shattered when you saw the asphalt and concrete which ran along the side of the fortress.

Upon that very sidewalk, three figures made their way through the dark night.

"Where are we again?" asked Liz as the trio walked down a dark street.

"Vienna, Austria. The church with the Kishin should be not far ahead." Said Kid.

"Any idea why your father picked us especially for this mission?" asked Liz.

"Well, he actually sent several teams before us." Said Kid, continuing to walk.

"They were eliminated."

Liz stopped. "eliminated?" she asked. "they died?"

Suddenly, Kid whipped around, fury in his eyes. "dammit Elizabeth!" he said angrily.

"you think this is a game? You think that this is pokemon, where it ends when the enemy faints?

"no! this is real life, and these are real ####ing monsters! These heartless freaks won't stop attacking until your soul is in their mother####ing stomach!"

Kid then whipped around again and stormed on, Liz and Patty following, wondering what was up with him.

After a minute, Kid spoke again, this time not stopping. "I'm sorry, Elizabeth. It's just – and this next bit I direct primarily towards Patricia, actually."

"eh?" asked Patty, tilting her head as she skipped along.

"Sometimes I worry that you girls don't take this job seriously."

Kid shook his head, still walking. "Don't you understand? These monsters, we don't just kill them for their souls to make death scythes.

"We do it because it's the right thing to do.

"Every night, sometimes even during the day, all the Kishin on the planet are sneaking into helpless mortals' homes, slashing them in their sleep, devouring their souls, ending their lives like that." He snapped his fingers.

"I don't think it's a game."

The voice was so unfamiliar, for a second Kid wasn't sure who said it. Then he realized it was Patty.

He had never heard her speak in her true voice before, instead of her cute voice. He didn't even think she HAD a true voice.

It was a voice that had known many trials, and in that moment, Kid knew that Patty and Liz always took their job seriously, no matter how goofy or apathetic they acted.

"…Well good." He finished off rather lamely.

The trio continued down the street into the darkness.


	17. Bertrand and The Mole

Ok, before we start this next chap, I just want to give a shoutout to cyanide 6, who has faithfully reviewed at every one of my updates. You rock, girl! Seriously, have a cookie.

XXXXXXXX

"The church of lost souls." Said Kid as he stared up at the church towering in front of them.

It was at LEAST 10 stories tall, even though most of that was the main spire. Sinister spikes jutted from it's rafters, and foreboding gargoyles leered down at the trio.

Liz gulped. "p-pleasant." She said with a quivering voice.

"Indeed. Let us proceed." Said Kid, pushing open the doors of the abandoned building.

It was dark inside, but Kid found a lighter, and lit the candles scattered around the huge room. Eventually, the entire room was alight, revealing its contents.

It was a desolate place. A few dozen rows of dilapidated marble pews faced the front of the giant room. Two huge pipe organs were on either side of the main altar.

The altar itself consisted of a round stone table, with various unholy images carved into the walls surrounding it.

Liz looked up to see the huge domed roof. It had constellations carved on it, though they were worn with age. Bizzarely enough, a few horizontal scratches were located close to the back of the cathedral's domed ceiling, on the side with the door.

"Now how would anything make scratches all the way up there…" she wondered out loud. Then she noticed Kid in the middle of the center aisle, between the two columns of pews. He was hunched over and shivering, classic signs of a oncoming symme-tantrum.

"Oh geez." Said Liz as she walked up to him. "what is it this time?" she wondered.

"Look! Look!" Kid said, pointing. For a second, Liz didn't notice anything. Then she saw it: at some point in time, a few of the benches near the door of the church had become dislodged, scattering and falling over.

"I must fix them!" Kid cried, attempting to lift one of the heavy pews back into position. Liz could tell it was useless; even with Kid's reaper strength, even if the girls agreed to help, the stone pews were far too heavy to be lifted.

"Kid, c'mon. the Kishin could be anywhere." Said Liz, looking around nervously.

"The Kishin can wait! Right now I must restore the symmetry of the-"

"God dammit!" said Liz. "There's a huge monster skulking around somewhere, and you're worried about the stupid pews?" she grabbed Kid's collar. "C'mon, you whiner." She said as she managed to get Kid to walk beside her.

"Hey you guys, look at this." Said Patty. The two came over, and she revealed a button on top of the solid stone table. It came straight out of the ground, a huge marble slab.

"Patty… something in my gut tells me we don't want to-" Liz said, but Patty pressed the button anyways.

There was a huge rumble, then the three leaped back as the table began to move. It slid out towards the back of the small area it was enclosed in at the front of the church, and as it moved, Liz realized there was something under it.

"A tunnel…" she whispered. Sure enough, a huge circular tunnel laid under the table, nearly as big as the table itself. It was made of dirt, and looked almost as if something had burrowed it. It went down in a thirty degree angle into a void of blackness.

A few torches were in a worn bin at the edge of the newly-discovered tunnel. Kid promptly picked up one and lit it with the lighter. "c'mon. the sooner we get back the better." Said Kid, going down the tunnel. Liz and Patty followed.

Patty smiled, Liz shivered, and Kid was silent as the trio made their way down the tunnel. It was large enough for a minivan to drive through it, easily. It was a straight tunnel, down into a black void.

"whish."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" screamed Liz, jumping into Patty's arms.

"Just the wind, Elizabeth." Said Kid.

"no it was NOT! Something just whizzed past me!"

"The wind just whizzed past you."

"Kid, for the love of god, it came from inside the WALL!"

This made Kid stop. He put his fingers to the right wall of the tunnel, and concentrated.

"something… something is there… it's moving fast…" he muttered.

"w-what is it?" whimpered Liz.

"It's a giant mole!" laughed Patty.

"Patricia, don't be ridiculous. Where is it? It appears to be heading…" then he gasped, and tackled Liz and Patty back towards the entrance, fifty feet away. "GET BACK!" he shouted as something huge erupted from the ground where they had been standing moments earlier.

Dust covered the cave. For a moment, it was impossible to see what was in front of them. Then there was a roar, and a blur charged from the veil of dust.

Kid dodged it. "Elizabeth! Patricia!" he yelled, holding out his hands. The girls leapt to him, and he fired blasts after the monster.

But the beast was quick; it had already burrowed into the floor of the huge tunnel once more, leaving a crater about five feet wide.

"what was that?" asked Liz.

"The Kishin, I have no doubt." Said Kid. Still holding his weapons, he rested his knuckles on the wall. Then he leapt over the hole as another huge blast erupted from the ground. A elongated blur leapt, and landed not two feet from Kid, revealing its true form at last.

The being stood on four legs, though they all had wicked claws. The being's main body looked almost like a rocket ship, only more muscular around the middle. It had two beady black eyes, and a mouth which was low, and full of jagged teeth, like a shark's.

But the really noticeable feature was that where the creature's nose was, there was a huge, metal drill. Not big enough to cover it's eyes and mouth, but enough to enable it to drill through the ground.

"YOU WILL DIE!" it roared.

"it can talk?" screamed Liz.

"FOOLS! I WILL EAT YOUR SOULS!" screamed the monster.

It lunged again, and Kid leapt back in a backwards flip, back towards the exit, which was still far away. Then he put his hands to his head.

"We're gonna lose…"

Kid muttered the phrase, and the way he said it so certainly made an icy hand of fear clutch Liz' heart. "what do you mean?" Kid whispered something unintelligible, and Liz asked, "what?"

"the pews, the pews, I DIDN'T FIX THE DAMN PEWS!" Kid yelled.

The icy hand melted like it was put in a microwave.

"What does that have to do anything?" screamed Liz in anger.

"I didn't fix them, I didn't FIX them! I can feel their negative energy from here, and we're going to lose, LOSE I tell you!" Kid wailed in despair. Then he said, "I only have one chance. If I run back right now and fix them, then we MIGHT have a chance-"

"Kid, you are NOT running away in the middle of a fight because you FORGOT to fix some DAMN pews!" Liz shrieked. "what, you think the monster's just gonna wait here politely for you to-"

"naw, it's cool. I'll wait." Said the monster.

The trio froze, then stared at the monster. "what?" asked Kid.

"I'll wait while you fix your pews. It's all good." Said the monster in its low, rocky voice.

"Yeah," said Liz, "like Kid's just going to take your word for it and turn his back on – WAGGH!"

Kid had dropped Liz and Patty to the floor, and yelling thanks in his wake, sprinted for the entrance of the cave. By the time Liz and Patty were out of weapon form, he was long gone.

"KID YOU ####ING IDIOT!" screamed Liz.

"KYA HA HA HA HAAAAAA!" laughed Patty hysterically.

"So, how's it going?" said the monster casually.

Liz froze, then slowly turned around. The monster still stood there, a smile on its face.

"um…" said Liz.

"I'm 'The Mole'." Said the Kishin, still smiling.

"lemme guess… you have hypnotism powers." Said Liz.

"Nah. It always ends this way. Your friend just sped up the process." Said The Mole.

"Y'see, it goes like this:

"Step 1: meister and weapons walk into my lair, thinking they're so clever for finding the button and all that crap.

"Step 2: after they walk a little ways, I pop up and scare them back out the exit. There's only one entrance/exit, and that's the one your friend just ran through."

The Mole grinned demonically now.

"Step 3: the panicked weapon and meister flee back out the exit, and straight into Bertrand's jaws."

The icy hand of fear was back, gripping Liz' heart once more with a veangance. "B-Bertrand?" she asked.

"My little friend." Said The Mole. "He needs to be fed, so I devised this little trap, to get him his food. In return, I get protection from meisters and weapons."

Liz paused, thinking. If this guy was telling the truth, and there really was a monster up there…

Liz' heart stopped.

Kid was in danger.

"KI-I-I-I-D!" she screamed as she ran for the entrance, Patty in pursuit.

Then, when she reached the mouth of the tunnel, she saw…

She saw…

Actually she didn't see anything of particular interest.

Kid was struggling to lift the pews, near the door, but other then that, the church looked exactly the same as they'd left it.

"Kid!" Liz screamed, running to him. "Kid, it's a trap! We need to get out of here right now!"

"Right after I fix-"

"ENOUGH WITH THE DAMN-"

"What's going on here?"

Liz whipped around to the unfamiliar voice, which came from the door. A man stood there.

He had white hair, and had a watery red nose. A neatly trimmed square goatee was on his chin. He wore a neatly ironed black suit, and smiled a polite smile.

"You gotta help us!" cried Liz, running to him. "There's this mole thing, and it's following us, and-"

"I don't see no moles." Said the man. Liz turned around, and, surely enough, the mole had not followed them out of the tunnel for some reason.

"Well, we still gotta get out of here-" began Liz, but she was cut off again.

"No… no there's no reason to leave just yet." Said the man, his grin growing.

"What-" Liz stopped on her own this time. A horrible thought occurred to her. She backed up, pulling Patty and the squirming Kid with her. "What's your name again?" asked Liz.

The man grinned inhumanly wide now, his eyes turning yellow.

"Bertrand."

The man hunched over, and began to grow and twist, mutating into… something else. Screaming, Liz backpedaled furiously, dragging the oblivious Patty and the still-obsessed Kid.

"You're finished, girlie!" came the rocky voice of The Mole behind her. Liz whipped her head around to see the beast climbing out of the tunnel. Between it and the monster the trio were trapped. "Bertrand looks hungry…" the kishin said, grinning evilly.

Liz turned her head back around to see what had happened to the man.

But it was not a man.

Not anymore.

The being which had merely been in the guise of a human had transformed into a hideous behemoth.

It was incredibly tall. Armored plates covered its back and most of its body. The largest ones were on its upper back, and scraped the ceiling, causing the scratches Liz noticed earlier.

The being had four stocky, destructive, plated insectoid legs, and its arms were huge and also armored. The beast did not have hands, but what looked almost like spear tips.

The head, though, was the most horrible of all. Three eyes on either side of it. A huge, gaping maw, with razor teeth and lower tusk/mandibles which gnashed furiously. It roared, and Liz could see the huge throat muscles which lined the rear of its mouth.

Liz could see no way out. They were between a rock-drilling monster and a huge, armored beast.

"E-Elizabeth…" said Kid weakly.

"Yes, Kid?" asked Liz.

"Look what that monster did." Said Kid, pointing at the pews in the rear rows.

The monsters' insectoid legs had destroyed several benches altogether, and left huge craters in the marble floor as well.

"how DARE he destroy such perfect symmetry like this?" cried Kid, leaping to his feet. Liz' heart soared. Kid's symmetry obsession may have gotten them into this mess (at least partially), but perhaps it could get them out as well!

"Kid!" Liz screamed. "Destroying that thing is the only way to save what's left of the church!"

"Well, obviously! WEAPON FORMS!" Kid roared, holding his hands to his sides. The girls leapt to his hands, and Kid thrust his weapons forwards.

Kid then preformed a huge backwards summersault, leaping backwards into the air. And then, as he flipped, he placed his guns to The Mole's back and pulled the trigger.

The mole's moderate armor was no match for Kid's mighty weapons. The beast moaned, blood spurting from the holes in its back, and it fell, dissolving into dust.

Then Kid pointed his guns at the monster, at the one place on it that wasn't armored: it's pink, fleshy maw.

"YOUR SOUL IS MINE, MONSTER!" Kid screamed. Then he thrust his soul into his weapons. Once more, the spikes erupted from his shoulders, and Liz and Patty elongated, rippling with purple energy.

"Energy at 96%!"

"noise at 3.6%!"

"resonance at 310%!"

"feedback in 3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"LET 'ER RIP!" shouted Patty, and Kid fired his weapons, straight into the creature's roaring maw.

KA-BOOOOOMMMM!

Kid raised his arms to protect his face from the blast wave as his guns reverted to normal form and the spikes shrunk back into his shoulders.

When he looked again, the monsters were both gone.

In their place were two red, floating souls.

"Cut. Print. That's a wrap." Said Kid, tossing his weapons behind him.

"So what do we do with these?" asked Liz as she picked up one of the souls, Patty the other.

"Eat them, I guess." Said Kid, shrugging.

Liz took a tentative bite. Then another. "This is really good!" she cried as she gobbled down the soul, Patty doing the same, with an "om nom nom nom!"

As Liz finished the soul, she felt a tiny surge of power; tiny but definite. She could tell that if she ate more of these, she would be far more powerful.

"Congratulations, girls, you just ate your first Kishin souls." Kid said proudly, still standing near the huge tunnel. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going to pass out."

And with that, Kid lost what color he had in his face, and would have cracked his head falling on the marble floor, had Liz not dived and catched him.

"Well, one down, 98 to go, Pat." Said Liz as she walked with her little sister to the door.

"Kya ha ha!" laughed Patty. "That was fun! Lets do it again sometime, ok sis!"

Before she knew it, Liz was laughing with her sister. That actually HAD been a little fun, now that she thought about it. Maybe she WOULD try it again sometime.

As long as there weren't spiders.

Liz hated spiders.


	18. Comfort

Mmk, I admit those last 2 chaps weren't exactly the best. I'll try harder from here on out, I swear.

XXXXXXXX

Liz felt strange.

Every time she talked to Kid, she got this annoying tingle in her stomach, and her heart was doing backflips.

She picked a book out of a dumpster once, back in Brooklyn, which explained boy-girl attraction and all that stuff. She dismissed it as garbage at the time, but now the feelings she was experiencing were disturbingly similar.

She wanted a professional relationship, nothing more… and yet…

She couldn't help but feel that she was falling for that tux-wearing little idiot.

XXXXXXXX

"I'm such a failure! I don't deserve to exist! Just shove me in the damn trash can!"

"KYA HA HA HA!"

Yes, it was time for Kid's daily symme-tantrum. Today, it was about one of the paintings in the upstairs hallways being a bit crooked.

Patty was amusing herself greatly by watching another explosion of blood come from Kid's face every time she pushed the painting a little farther out of position.

Liz came around the corner, and witnessed the scene.

"Patricia… please… I beg you…" Kid said weakly as he watched Patty threaten to tilt the painting another millimeter.

Patty just pulled down her eyelid and stuck out her tongue as she moved it another inch crooked.

"BLAAAAGGGHHH!" said Kid as he twitched on the ground, foam coming from his mouth.

Normally, Liz would have just rolled her eyes and moved on. The new feelings she had aquired recently, though, made her stop and think.

Kid wasn't going to last much longer if the merciless Patty tilted the painting out of position any more. Eventually, she'd drop it to the floor, destroying it altogether, and Kid would scream and go unconscious.

Kid looked so helpless on the floor, twitching, Liz couldn't help but…

…feel sorry for him.

Slowly she walked over to where the duo were, Kid still spasming on the floor, Patty laughing her ass off.

Then, Liz grabbed Kid around his torso, and hugged him tightly. "shh-hh-hh-hh… it's ok… you're ok…" Liz murmered comforting little phrases in his ear as she maneuvered and turned him so he was no longer looking at the painting. She shot Patty a patented death glare, and the evil painting-tilter creeped away quietly.

She sat down in a nearby chair, carrying the sobbing Kid, who sat in her lap as she stroked his hair and whispered gentle encouragement in his ear, like a mother would.

"E-E-Elizabeth…" stuttered Kid, looking at her with bloodshot eyes. Then he hugged Liz tightly, causing her to blush.

They stayed like that for a while, Kid in Liz' lap, hugging her as she hugged him. Because Kid was so scrawny, he didn't hurt Liz at all as he sat, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Mind you, there was nothing sexual about this at all. It was a purely maternal pose, Liz soothing and petting Kid as he sat in her lap.

After about ten minutes, Kid squirmed and slowly got up, Liz following.

"E-Elizabeth… thank you… n-nobody's ever c-comforted me like that b-before…" he stuttered, blushing.

"Didn't your mother…?" asked Liz.

"I never knew her…" Kid whispered.

Liz was overcome with pity and sorrow for the little shinigami. To never have a mother…

She hugged him tightly once more, and he hugged her back.

"You'll never be alone again…" she said quietly, a tear rolling down her cheek.


	19. Patty teaches hentai

Ok, now we're reaching the time when the actual series takes place. Just a little time update.

This little crack chap takes place just after episode 3.

Warning: just a pinch of tentacle rape, not directly at all.

XXXXXXXX

"Liz, come on-"

"no!"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of-"

"NO!"

Kid followed Liz and pestered her as she walked through the halls of gallows manor.

"Liz, come on, we all have our little fetishes-"

"Kid, for the LAST time," said Liz, turning on her heel to face him, "I AM NOT INTO BONDAGE!"

Kid snorted. "Oh, sure. And what exactly were you doing wrapped up in those bandages in such ridiculously erotic positions? Holding a tea party?"

"Kid, how many times do I have to say this? Those bandage things were like tentacles, and they snaked out and-"

"Elizabeth, every time you use that excuse, it sounds more and more ridiculous."

"It's not an EXCUSE, it's the TRUTH!"

"hubble wobble wubble, what's all the trouble?" asked Patty, skipping around the corner.

"Ah, Patricia. Maybe YOU can shed some light on this mystery." Kid walked up to Patty.

"I KNOW you two are into bondage porno, from the way you were tied up near-naked in that pyramid. It's nothing to be ashamed of, really!"

"Silly Kid!" said Patty. "That wasn't bondage?"

"See? That's my little sis!" said Liz, putting an arm around Patty.

"It wasn't bondage. It was tentacle rape." Said Patty brightly.

"I DO NOT KNOW HER." Said Liz, leaping away.

"what's tentacle rape?" asked Kid. "Does it have to do with octopi?"

"no, but it does have to do with octopuses!" replied Patty. "C'mon, I'll show you!" she grabbed Kid and Liz' hands, and dragged them to the computer room.

Xxxxxxx

2 minutes later…

"What's 'hen-tie'?" asked Kid, looking at the screen which Patty had pulled up on the computer.

"That's hen-TAY, Kid." Said Patty, giggling.

"Patty… can I leave yet?" asked Liz, whimpering.

"Sure, if you want to be tickle tortured in bed tonight." Replied Patty brightly, an evil gleam in her eyes.

Liz whimpered louder, but did not leave.

"Ok, check this one out. It's one of my favorites." Said Patty, clicking one of the videos.

"You've DONE this before?" Liz nearly screamed.

"Yea, every Saturday night." Was Patty's response.

The video began to play.

"Ok… there's two chicks on a boat…" said Kid, looking at the screen intently.

"…well they're lesbians, I don't see what's the big deal about that, or what that has to do with tentacles."

"hmm… hmm… hmm…"

"Liz, quit whimpering, you're ruining the show!"

"Seriously, Patty, when do the tentacles – HOLY CRAP!"

"KYA HA HA!"

"Look at the size of that octopus which just sunk the boat! It's HUGE!"

"Oh boy, here comes the good part!"

"NOW can I leave?"

"I must commend you, Patricia, this is an incredible action movie. The graphics on that octopus are incredible, look at how it pulls the girls out of the water with its appendages!"

"Oh no…"

"Now it's shaking them around, and now it's… it's… wait, what's it doing?"

"KYA HA HA HAAAA!"

"It appears to be pulling her bikini bottom down to her ankles… and here comes another tentacle… what's it – OH DEAR SWEET HOLY FATHER!"

"AIIIII!"

"KYA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! AHHH HA HA HA HA!"

"DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT WHITE STUFF? IT'S ALL OVER THE SCREEN!"

"EW EW EW EW EW EW!"

"I WILL NEVER EAT CALAMARI AGAIN!"

fifteen minutes, and much tentacle rape, later…

"Ugg… Patricia… never… EVER… take us to that site EVER again…" groaned Kid as he clutched his stomach and clutched the side of the computer desk.

Liz had fainted at the ten-minute mark, and now was lying out cold on the floor.

Patty was still laughing her ass off. "that was the funniest thing EVER! Wasn't it hilarious, Kid?"

"Patricia… just go… carry your sister upstairs…" Kid muttered. Giggling, Patty obliged.

From behind her, as she carried Liz, she heard a retching sound. "You're cleaning this puke up!" said Kid a few moments later.

"No I'm not!" said Patty as she carried Liz up the stairs.


	20. The Friendmaking Machine

K, bit of a timeskip here: this episode takes place about a week after episode 6.

For those of you who don't know, Kid stayed home for a month after episode 6, when Soul and Black*Star gave him a haircut. This takes place during that little break.

XXXXXXX

"Kid, are you really going to stay here for the rest of the month?" asked Liz in astonishment.

"YES!" said Kid, wearing a black skullcap (literally, it had a skull on it.) "I REFUSE to go back to school with this hideous, assymetrical haircut!"

"I can't believe you gave yourself a freaking Patty cut, in order to make yourself symmetrical again…" muttered Liz.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time, ok?" said Kid, half indignantly, half sheepishly.

Liz sighed. She knew better then to argue with Kid when he was like this. He could be more stubborn at times these then he would be if his brain was encased in cement.

"Fine. Whatever." She said. "Me and Patty are off to the mall. We'll be back in about two hours, ok?"

"Remember; This is a PRIVELEGE, to go shopping on your own, girls. Abuse it, and I will have to chaperone you again." Kid said as he walked his weapons to the door.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Said Patty.

"I'm serious, Patricia! Dual pinkie swear." He said, holding a hand to each of the girls. Each of them pinkie swore simultaneously that they wouldn't spend over $1,000.

"See you later, girls!" said Kid, waving.

"Do you think we could pull off spending $10,000 by saying we misheard him?" asked Patty to Liz.

"Patty, that would be underhanded and treacherous, and totally betray Kid's trust." Said Liz, grinning.

"Let's go for it."

"YAAAAYYYY!"

xxxxxxxx

About fifteen minutes after the girls left, Kid was chilling on the couch in front of his huge HDTV and his game consoles, reading a book.

"DING-DONG!"

"That's odd…" said Kid, looking over to the door. "I'm not expecting any visitors…"

He walked over as the doorbell rang multiple more times. "I'm coming, I'm COMING!" he yelled. As he placed his hand on the doorknob, though, whoever was at the door kicked it open. And by "open", I mean "off it's hinges and smack on top of Kid."

"Doof!" Kid grunted as the door smashed him into the floor.

"YA-HOO!"

"Dude… you didn't need to kick the damn door down…"

"YA-HOO! A god like me doesn't need to wait for puny mortals to open the door!"

"Dear god…" thought Kid to himself. "It's those two hooligans from the other day! And they're in my HOUSE!"

Kid shoved the door off of him, and sprang to his feet, to see Soul on the doorstep. "How DARE you intrude my home like this? EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" he cried, pointing a finger at soul.

"Jeez, man, mellow out." Said Soul as he tried to get around Kid into the house. Kid held out his arms and blocked his entry.

"Where's the blue-haired one? I know I heard him…" muttered Kid.

"who do you- oh, you mean Black*Star! Yeah, he had leaped on top of the door and was making a pose when you shoved it off of you." Said Soul. He pointed at a twitching hand under the door, which lay off to the side.

Kid unceremoniously dragged Black*Star out from under the rubble, and shoved him back onto the porch. "YA-HOO! That didn't even leave a BRUISE!" said the egotistical ninja.

"SILENCE!" roared Kid, effectively shutting up Soul and Black*Star. "You have 80 seconds to explain what exactly the hell you're doing here before I blast you to the other side of the mother####ing city." He growled.

"Yeah, like you 'blasted' us the other day…" muttered Soul.

"74 seconds, fools." Said Kid.

"Ugg… ok look, we got off on the wrong foot the other day." Said Soul, adopting a almost kind tone of voice. "We really don't want any trouble. We came to apologize."

"Of your own free will, or because somebody made you?" questioned Kid, not dropping the hostile tone.

"…Ok, you got me. Maka and Tsubaki come and apologize for giving you a haircut."

"Ah, your meister and his chain scythe. Lucky that they have enough brains to make up for yours." Said Kid.

"Look, we want to bury the hatchet. Make amends." Said Soul. "We didn't mean to traumatize you on your first day."

Kid thought. These two seemed sincere. (Or Soul did, Black*Star had the attention span of a rodent and was practicing ninja moves on the grass.) They didn't damage any property yet. (other then the door.)

"Ok." Said Kid, straightening back up into a formal pose. "I accept your apology. Now get off of my property."

"But-"

"Just because I accept your apology doesn't mean I have to like you." Said Kid snobbishly.

"Look, just let us in for like 5 minutes, ok? Just to be friends. If we can't convince you that we come in peace, we leave." Compromised Soul.

"… I suppose that's fair enough." Said Kid. He stepped aside, allowing Soul in. "Is your friend coming?"

"Oh, yeah! Here, Black*Star! Here, boy!" Soul whistled.

"Very funny, Soul." Said Black*Star as he followed him in.

"So, um… what do kids do these days? Play tiddlywinks?" asked Kid. He was rather out of the loop. He knew what girls did these days, but boys were an entirely new species.

"Nah. We Just hang out. Talk. Maybe play some video games or some sports-"

"Whoa. Wait a minute." Said Kid, holding up his hands. "You two like video games?"

"HELL YEA!" said Black*Star.

"Who doesn't?" asked Soul.

"Well, Liz and Patty don't, and they're sort of my barometer for popular culture…" said Kid, taking the question at face value.

Soul and Black*Star looked at each other, wondering if he was being serious.

"Anyways, come on." Kid led them back to the room he was originally lounging on.

"Ahh, a PS3 man, eh?" said Soul, elbowing Kid.

"OOH!" said Black*Star, who had already vaulted over the couch and was looking at Kid's game cabinet. "You have Mortal Kombat? I LOOOOVVVEE that game!"

Kid's eyebrows raised. "Y-you do? Liz never likes video games like that, and Patty only watches it to laugh when there's graphic violence…" he said.

"Hey, man, everyone likes Mortal Kombat!" said Soul, patting Kid on the back.

(I'm not doing a plug here, I swear. I just love this game is all. – author.)

"Well, let's do this thing! It's Mortal Kombat time!" said Black*Star, dropping the disk in.

"So, who are you guys' fave chars?" asked Kid as he passed around the controllers.

"Kratos! He's a god, like me! He's badass, like me!" said Black*Star, thrusting a finger in the air.

"Johnny Cage. He's cool." Said Soul simply. "Who's yours?"

"Noob." Replied Kid.

"Hey, Johnny isn't for noobs! He-"

"no, no, sorry, you misunderstood. I'm referring to Noob Saibot, that oil-guy."

Black*Star laughed. "That guy's for babies!" he said.

Kid smirked. "We'll see about that." He said, picking up his controller as the game screen came up.

Xxxxxxxx

10 minutes later…

"Hell yea!" said Kid, pumping his fist.

"aww, no!" said Black*Star, watching as Noob summoned a oil clone. Then both him and the clone grabbed one of Kratos' legs, and pulling him apart, ripping him in half from crotch up.

"Noob Saibot wins. flawless victory. FATALITY!"

"Damn, man!" Said Soul. "flawless? You're a badass."

"Thank you, thank you." Said Kid, mock-bowing.

"YOUR GOD DECLARES A REMATCH!" Black*Star cried.

"no fair, man! It's my turn!" said Soul.

"Fine." Grumped Black*Star, handing Soul the controller.

"I dare you to beat me as easily as you beat him." Said Soul to Kid as the game returned to the character select.

Xxxxxxxx

Another 10 minutes later…

"oh, COME ON!" Soul screamed as Johnny Cage was grabbed by an oil-clone as Kid executed another fatality. The clone dragged him halfway into a void-portal, then Noob closed it, slicing Johnny in half, leaving an upper torso desparately crawling a foot or two before bleeding out.

"Noob Saibot wins. Flawless Victory. FATALITY!"

"Shit, man! How'd you do that?" asked Soul, staring at Kid.

Kid just smiled. "How 'bout some Portal co-op?"

"I'm down. As long as I don't see another person being ripped in half." Said Soul as Kid popped the disk out and replaced it with Portal 2.

Xxxxxxxx

30 minutes later…

"No, shoot a red one there! THERE!" Kid cried, pointing at the screen.

"Where is there?" asked Soul.

"Bwshop!" a portal opened, dropping a cube onto a button and completing another course.

"OH YEAH!" said Kid, high-fiving Soul.

"You couldn't have done it without my help." Said Black*Star indignantly.

"You're right. I would have totally missed that one turret." Said Kid, patting Black*Star. "Thanks, man."

"LittleBigPlanet next?" asked Soul.

"no problemo." Said Kid, pulling out another disk.

Xxxxxxxx

An hour later…

"quick! Quick!" said Kid gleefully.

"Awww yeah!" said Black*Star as he got to the button which exploded a pile of rocks, sealing the monster that was chasing them and opening the path to the scoreboard.

"Ha ha ha! Victory!" said Kid as he was revealed as the winner.

"You little sneakball!" cried Soul, punching him on the shoulder. "I would have TOTALLY won if you didn't drop me into that one pit!"

"excuses, excuses…" said Kid, grinning.

"Kid? We're home!" Liz walked in the room, followed by Patty. "Oh hey, it's you guys! Hey!" she said. "What're you doing here?"

"Meh, just hanging out." Said Soul. He always was in "cool" mode when hanging around chicks.

Black*Star was silent. Kid waved his hand in front of Black*Star's face, and he snapped out of it. "Who's that little beauty right there?" he said, pointing at Patty.

"Kee hee! I'm Patty." Said Patty adorably.

"Ah… that's a beautiful name…" said the obviously love-smitten Black*Star.

"Let's get him out of here before he starts drooling." Said Soul as he dragged Black*Star out the door.

"Hey, wait a second!" said Kid, running after them.

He faced Soul as the albino stopped. "Yeah?" was the reply.

"So… we're friends now?" asked Kid uncertainly.

"Hell yea, man! You can't rip someone in half, catapult them with a portal, and race through a monster-infested cave with them without becoming friends along the way!" Soul patted Kid on the back. "don't mean to be a chick here, but we're bffs, man!"

Then Soul hiked off, dragging the near-comatose Black*Star. Patty waved to Black*Star from the doorway, and the ninja went FULLY comatose.

"Aww, it's so cute watching you make little friends with the other boys, Kid!" Liz gushed.

"Oh, stick it where it fits, you." Said Kid, but he was grinning.

Moral of the story: there are some things, like KO-ing a mountain troll or walking across a bed of hot coals, that if you do it with another person, you two are friends for life.

PS3 is one of those things.


	21. Infected pt 1

These next two chaps are dedicated to 8fangirl8, because she planted the plot seed in my mind. Thx a bunch!

Xxxxxxxx

"KA-BOOM!"

The Kishin exploded in a shower of blood. What was left was a single, red, glowing soul.

"Excellent work, girls." Said Kid, tossing them behind him so they could transform back to human form. "Patty, you have one less soul then Liz, so you get this one. I think we'll wrap up for the night afterwards."

"Yayyyy dessert!" said Patty cheerily, skipping to the soul and beginning to chow down. Though the girls could gobble a soul in about 30 seconds if they really tried, they were nothing compared to Soul, who ate souls in a single gulp.

"nngh…" said Kid, grasping his left arm.

"You ok?" asked Liz, concerned.

"I'm fine, Elizabeth." Said Kid, smiling a weak smile. "That beast just cut me kinda bad. It'll heal up soon, though. Reaper regeneration and all that."

"Ok…" said Liz as she watched Kid walk off, still clutching his arm.

The thing was, he had had wounds twice as bad as that, and he didn't even complain…

XXXXXXXX

The next day…

Liz woke up at about 9:00. She yawned. Then she realized it was a Saturday, and was about to go back to sleep, when there was a knock on her door, and Patty peeked in.

"Sis? I… I think you ought to see this…" she said, a nervous tone in her voice.

Liz followed Patty to Kid's bedroom. "She's not skipping…" noticed Liz. "This must be serious."

They reached Kid's room. Kid lay on the bed, even paler then usual. He was moaning quietly.

"He wouldn't get up when I called him…" said Patty. "He actually called me 'Patty', instead of 'Patricia'."

"also…" Patty walked over and gently pulled the covers down, exposing the rest of Kid's body. Liz gasped.

Kid's left forearm had swollen to almost twice it's natural size. It had turned a nasty shade of green, and most noticeable were two long scratch marks. "From the Kishin's claws…" recalled Liz.

"call Stein-"

"Already on his way." Said Patty.

Speak of the mad scientist, there was a knock at the door, and Patty ran to answer it. Liz slowly walked over to Kid. "Can you hear me?" she asked quietly.

Kid moaned in response. Liz grew even more nervous.

"Hey."

Stein rolled his rolly chair into the room, Patty close behind.

"How did you get that chair up the steps? How'd you get it here at all?" asked Liz.

"No time for that." Said Stein seriously. "I must tend to Kid's wound." He went over to Kid's injured arm, and inspected it for a minute. Liz and Patty waited anxiously.

After what felt like an eternity, but was really barely a minute, Stein turned around. "Don't worry girls. Kid's going to be fine." The weapons breathed a sigh of relief.

Then Stein reached into his medical bag, and pulled out a syringe of yellow liquid. He injected it into Kid's arm.

"nngh, $#*%!" said the half-consious Kid as the fluid entered his veins, but he managed to stay still.

"It's Kishin venom." Said Stein as he worked on Kid's arm. "Not many Kishin have venom in their stingers or claws, but it's not unheard of, either. This'll bring down the swelling, and with luck, there won't be any scarring, even." Stein withdrew the needle, and Kid collapsed. His arm began to lose its green hue, and shrunk visibly.

"He'll be fine, but he'll be very weak for the next week or so." Said Stein. He finished bandaging Kid's arm, and picked up his kit. "Bedrest only. Doctor's orders." He wheeled his chair out the door. "See you next week, girls. I'll show myself out." He said as he left.

Liz knelt down at Kid's bedside. "He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping." She said quietly. Gently, she draped an arm over him.

"Get well soon…" she whispered in his ear.


	22. Infected pt 2

Kid woke in a cold sweat. He had a horrible dream, where part of his left arm had been ripped off. Pain… so much pain…

Then he looked over, and saw his arm, swathed in bandages. "Kishin venom." He muttered.

Kid looked around. Now he recognized his settings, he was in bed. He looked at the clock.

"1:15 in the afternoon? And it's Sunday, too… Damn, I was out cold." He thought to himself. Then he noticed a shape in the corner of his eye.

He tilted his head, and he made out the shape of Liz, sitting in a chair, next to his bedside. "Did she stay here all night?" wondered Kid.

"Liz?" he said hoarsely. She was instantly alert.

"Kid!" she cried, hugging him. "Don't ever worry me like that again, you little idiot!" she said, careful to avoid his bad arm.

"Liz… you didn't need to stay here all night…" said Kid, hugging her back.

"But you were whimpering in your sleep… I didn't have the heart to leave you…" she pulled back sheepishly.

"Thanks…" said Kid weakly. He began to get out of bed, but Liz pushed him back. "uh-uh." She said, waggling a finger and smiling. "You have to stay there for the rest of the week. Stein said so."

"Aww…" said Kid, pouting as he sat back into his pillows.

"Well well, if it isn't sleeping beauty, back from the dead!" said Patty, coming into the room. "good morning, sleepypuss! Well… good afternoon now. Hee hee!"

She carried a tray with a bowl on it, and put it in front of Kid. "Chicky noodle! It always makes sick people better, according to movies!" she said.

"Gee, thanks Patty." Said Kid, smiling weakly. He went for the spoon with his good arm, but Patty smacked it away lightly.

"Uh-uh-uhh!" she said, pouting. She picked up the spoon and picked up some soup with it. "Here comes the train! Choo-choo!" she said as she moved it to Kid's mouth.

"Patty, I'm over 150 years old, I don't need to be treated like- mmp!" Patty had watched for the timing, and put the spoon in as Kid was ranting. Kid's eyes widened as he savored the mouthful of soup. "This is really good, Patty! Did you make it yourself?" he said as she ladled another spoonful.

"Well, I had a little help from my friend, Chef Boyardee." She giggled as she fed him another spoonful. A dribble went down the side of his mouth, and she wiped it with a napkin. Kid blushed at the baby treatment he was receiving.

Liz covered her mouth to hide her grin as she watched the adorable scene; A adorable little girl spoon-feeding a grim, cold Shinigami chicken noodle soup. She considered taking pictures, but she wasn't THAT mean.

Xxxxxxxx

The rest of the week progressed mostly the same way. Although Kid couldn't bring himself to stop Patty from feeding him, he drew the line when she brought in a bedpan. Though he had to have somebody support him as he walked to and from the bathroom, he refused to stoop THAT low.

"Ok, Kid, Stein just called. He said you should be good to go again." Said Liz, walking in with Patty the following Saturday. She gently unwrapped the bandages on his arm to reveal that it was as good as new.

Kid slowly got up, but, not used to standing after almost a solid week in bed, collapsed into Liz' arms. She helped him up, and after a few seconds, he was coordinated once more.

Then Kid hugged the girls tightly, one in each arm. "Thank you very much, girls. How's a mall trip with double spending money sound, as a reward for being such good weapons." He offered.

"It's our job to take care of you, you little moron. No shopping." Said Liz, hugging Kid back.

Patty looked alarm and felt Liz' forehead. "Turning down a shopping trip? I think Liz is sick now, too!"


	23. The Room

Ok, 'nother time skip; this one takes place after ch 25, where Asura escaped from under Death City.

XXXXXXXX

"Pat, have you seen Kid anywhere?" asked Liz, looking into her sister's room.

"Negatory, cap'n!" said Patty as she watched cartoons.

Liz was worried as she closed Patty's door. She hadn't seen Kid all weekend.

She called all her friends, Maka, Soul, Tsubaki (not Black*Star, he'd be less helpful then a rock), but not a one of them had seen head or tail of Kid.

Then Liz had an idea. She'd call Lord Death! He surely had a tracking beacon or something on Kid.

Liz went over to one of the house's many mirrors. Then she remembered; she never bothered to learn how to dial Lord Death. Kid always did it for her when necessary. The only other way Liz knew to contact him was using Kid's rings, and Kid was missing…

"Pat, I'm going out for a bit, K?" said Liz, peeking into Patty's room.

Patty laughed as Jerry lit Tom's tail on fire and sent him yowling. Liz sighed and closed the door again.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz walked through DWMA's hallways, nervously. She hadn't seen Kid here, either! Sometimes he was doing schoolwork in a classroom or something.

She passed the death room. Then she stopped and turned around. Duh! She'd just contact Lord Death directly, by talking to him!

She headed through the door. It was always open, because Death had no secrets to hide, and he loved to help students.

She walked to Lord Death, who was watching something in his huge mirror.

"Excuse me, Lord Death?" inquired Liz.

"Ooooohhh, if it isn't little Elizabeth! What can I do for you dearie?" asked Shinigami-sama, turning around.

"Um, I haven't seen Kid all weekend. I looked everywhere, and I couldn't find him… could you find him?"

"Is Spirit a perv?" said Lord Death in response. Then he turned to his mirror and placed a large gloved hand on it. Images flicked past it, faster then Liz could see. After a few seconds, Shinigami-sama turned back to her. "Good news! Kid's right in the school!"

"Really?" asked Liz, confused. "I checked EVERYWHERE. I even bribed soul to check all the boys' bathrooms."

"Well… he's not IN the school… he's UNDER it." Shinigami-sama pointed to the ground. When Liz was still confused, he elaborated. "He's in that underground labyrinth you went into a few days ago. Y'know, with Asura… well, used to be with Asura."

"Oh. Ok, thanks!" said Liz, walking back through the guillotine hall.

"Liz?" Death called after her. "I'd hurry if I were you. I couldn't directly see him, but his soul seemed… panicked."

Liz was from 0 to 60 faster then you could say "sale at Macy's".

Xxxxxxxx

"Why do I have to come along again?" whined Patty as the duo went through the huge rotted doors which led to the catacombs.

"Well, I'm not going down here ALONE! It's DARK down here!" said Liz, scared (as usual).

"Dangit, Liz, grow some girl guts, willya?" said Patty, continuing to walk.

They walked a ways, past the place where Stein and Medusa battled. A few minutes later, they walked past the place Soul and Maka battled Chrona.

A little ways further, Liz stopped for a moment. "Patty, you feel that?" she asked.

"Yeah, Kid's wavelength is right up ahead!" said Patty.

The two girls could tell when Kid was near. It was a subtle tingling in the back of their skulls, like ESP, or spider-sense.

Eventually they made it to the delapitated room where Kid battled Free's false image.

"Patty, is it just me, or does this place seem… cleaner… then when we were last here?" asked Liz.

"Now that you mention it, yeah. There's no dust on all the surfaces anymore." Replied Patty, rubbing a finger across the wall.

Then the girls heard mumbling and scuffling up ahead. They slowed down, cautious.

"Gotta fix… g-g-gotta fix… fix it all…" came a familiar voice from up ahead. As the girls got closer, they made out the frazzled figure of Kid.

By the looks of the bags under his eyes and his tired expression, he hadn't slept in days. His hair was messed up, and his suit was torn. His hands, usually delicate like a pianist's, could have been mistaken for a caveman's.

He ran around the rubble-covered cavern, picking up rocks and arranging them in piles.

"Ah! Here's the rest of the elephant's trunk! I looked everywhere for this!" said Kid almost hysterically, picking up a large blue chunk of rubble. He scampered over to a ruined blue statue of an elephant, and placed the chunk in a section of it's nose, making it look a bit more complete.

"Oh jeez… this won't be easy." Said Liz, hugging her shoulders. Kid continued to scamper over the rubble in a desparate attempt to make the cavern symmetrical, but it was obviously a futile effort. It would take a year to fix it all.

"Do we call out, or do we sneak up on him and grab him?" asked Patty, looking at Liz.

"call him." Said Liz, still staring at Kid.

"You da boss, big sis." Patty giggled, and then she yelled at Kid, "HEY KID! GET'CHER ASS OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, YA LITTLE BRAT!"

Kid froze, then his head whipped to the sisters. "Girls!" he said in that hysterical tone of voice, leaping over to them. "What're you guys doin' here? You guys go back to the mansion, I'll only be a few minutes more." He attempted to push them back to the exit, but the girls didn't budge.

"Kid… what day is it?" asked Liz.

"Friday." Answered Kid, smiling wildly.

"You've been here for TWO DAYS?" cried Patty, staring at Kid.

"What? No, it's only been a few hours… hasn't it?" Kid put his hands to his head, struggling to think. "Look… look, you guys head back to the mansion. Seriously, just a few more minutes. I can do this… I can do this…" he made to run back to the place he was working before, but Liz snatched him.

"Let go, Liz! This horrifyingly assymetrical place cannot be allowed to rest under honorable father's school!" said Kid, twisting and squirming. Liz held firm.

"Kid, you little idiot! Stop trying to fix it! It's ok! Nobody's ever going to be here again!" said Liz, trying desparately to calm him down. "We're going to go back up to the manor, and you'll never see this place again!"

"Yes, but it will still EXIST! And it still will be ASSYMETRICAL!" shouted Kid.

"DAMMIT YOU LITTLE IDIOT!" screamed Liz, clutching the squirming Kid to her chest. "Pat, do something, willya?"

"Yes, Sis." Said Patty, walking over and looking Kid point-blank in the face. Kid stopped struggling and looked into Patty's face, less then an inch away.

Patty placed her hands over his eyes. "If you don't see it, it doesn't exist!" she piped.

"Patricia…"

"Trust me, Kid! Patty logic never fails!" said Patty happily. "This room no longer exists!" she adopted a mystical, magical voice. "You never, ever saw this room! It doesn't exist!"

"Patty, that's-" began Liz, but Kid smiled.

"A-are you serious, Patricia? The room… it's gone? Forever?" Asked Kid.

"Yup! Now go to sleep, you! When you wake up, nobody will ever mention this room again, because it never existed!" said Patty cheerily.

"Patricia… t-thank you… said Kid. Then he sighed, and visibly relaxed in Liz' arms. Patty took her hands off his now-closed eyes.

"C'mon, lets get him out of here before he wakes up." whispered Patty, leading Liz back the way they came. Liz carried Kid, staring at Patty.

"How did you DO that?" Liz whispered to her.

"Easy! Kid's conscious self may have been determined to fix the room, but his subconscious was begging for an excuse to stop, and never come here again! Patty merely provided that excuse!" Patty said, skipping along.

Liz stared at Patty as she skipped along ahead of her.

"For a girl like Patty, that's pretty damn smart…" thought Liz, continuing to carry the peacefully sleeping Kid back home.


	24. Return

Yet another time skip. This is a little while after Kid was kidnapped by Baba Yaga.

I never read this series, only heard rumors, so please pardon the fact that this is one of the few chaps which will be completely off.

XXXXXXXX

Liz sobbed at the kitchen table. Patty popped her head around the corner, then soberly patted her big sis on the back. "Sis, I'm sorry. It's been a month." She said quietly.

"He's gone."

"HE'S NOT GONE!" screamed Liz, looking at her little sister with tear-soaked eyes. "He's just missing!"

"Sis, there's no way he could survive in that hell of a book for this long." Said Patty. "When are you just going to admit that Kid's dead?"

"BECAUSE HE'S NOT DEAD!" Liz wailed, then she buried her head in her arms again. Patty sighed; it was worth a shot. Patty gently hugged Liz as her older sister wept.

Xxxxxxxx

Meanwhile…

"I can't believe we found him!" said Shinigami-sama, bouncing with happiness as he followed the nurse through the halls of the Death City Hospital.

It was a miracle. Shinigami-sama had just walked out of the school, then come back, no worse for the wear, carrying an unconscious, badly beaten Kid over his shoulder.

"Kid's going to live, but he will need to rest for a while." Said the nurse. "Besides how he was obviously tortured and beaten harshly, he fractured his skull, and one of his arms is badly broken. We put a cast on both, but he'll need to be in the hospital for about two more weeks."

"May I see him?" asked Shinigami-sama, as they stood outside the door which led to Kid's room.

"Certainly." Said the nurse. With a weak smile, she gestured to the door. Lord death opened it and peeked inside.

He gasped.

"WHERE IS MY SON!"

He ran inside, to a scene of chaos.

Uv tubes were lying discarded, blood still on them, fluid still flowing out. Bottles of pills and ripped bandages lay on the floor. One of the shelves was overturned.

The window was open. A small shred of bloodied bandage was upon it.

Lord Death looked out the window to see a tiny black figure, far away, heading in the general direction of Gallows Manor.

Xxxxxxxx

Back at the Manor, a minute or two later…

Liz still sat at the table, sobbing. She heard the door open and close, but she assumed Maka or somebody had come to call. She heard soft footsteps approaching the kitchen she was sitting in. They walked with an uneven pace, like the person was badly limping.

"Liz…"

The voice was a whisper. Liz's head shot up, tears still smearing her mascara. It couldn't be. She slowly turned her head.

Kid stood at the entrance of the kitchen, looking like he was a zombie, he was so pale and bloodied.

There were several puffy bruises on his face, and he had a black eye. His skull was swathed in bandages. His arm was wrapped in a cast. It looked like it had been in a sling at one time, but ripped out again. Old wounds covered his body, which wore only a thin hospital gown. Some wounds had reopened, and were trickling blood, which was slowly pooling on the floor.

Liz stood, not taking her eyes off Kid. She was afraid that if she blinked, he would vanish.

"K-Kid? Is that y-you?" she whispered, reaching out a hand.

Kid smiled weakly, and grabbed her hand with his. The way his hand was warm, yet cold… Liz knew that sensation so well.

"KID!" she screamed, hugging him incredibly tightly, never wanting to let him go.

Kid cried out. Liz quickly recoiled, to see him clutching his bad arm with his good arm, wincing in pain.

"Jesus, I'm so so so sorry, Kid!" she apologized profusely, but Kid raised his good hand to cut her off.

"It's ok. It's not you…" he said in a hoarse, rusty voice. "The painkillers are just… beginning to wear off… I took a 12-pack of morphine needles with me when I left the hospital… burned through every last one."

"Oh god, Kid, what did they do to you?" said Liz, tears waterfalling down her face.

Kid laughed, a rusty, unused laugh. "If I told you, you'd have nightmares for weeks…" he said quietly.

He wasn't joking.

Then Kid gasped, and he gripped his arm tighter. "####ing father… Elizabeth… call an ambulance, will you? This is really starting to hurt…"

Liz zoomed to the phone and dialed 911, not taking her eyes off Kid even as she explained to the attendant the nature of her emergency.

Even though she felt terrible that Kid was like this, she felt a faint glimmer of happiness, and hope.

He was home. He was alive. All was right with the world.


	25. Little Devils pt 1

"God dammit, I hate final exams!" said Liz as she walked through the threshold into Gallows Manor. She stretched her arms, still sore from sitting in a chair all day. It was 7:30 in the evening, and she just wanted to sleep.

"Don't worry, Elizabeth. Only one more day, and then it'll be summer. If you pass with a C or above, I'll give you some bonus spending money!" said Kid as he and Patty followed her.

"Yayyy!" said the girls happily. Then there was a ring of the doorbell.

"Now who could that be?" said Kid, turning back to the door and opening it. Looking out, he didn't see anybody. He looked left, and looked right, but there was no sign of anybody. Then he happened to look down, and he saw it.

Three cookies, shaped like the death logo, arranged perfectly symmetrically upon a paper plate, which rested on the dead center of the porch.

"Ah! Patricia, Elizabeth, look at these remarkably, fantastically symmetrical cookies!" said Kid, picking up the cookies and carrying them inside, closing the door behind him.

"Meh, sugar goes straight to my ass." Said Liz.

"I'll try some!" said Patty, reaching for the plate, but Kid held it out of her reach.

"uh-uh-uh!" said Kid to Patty. "If you eat one of these, you'll go on a sugar rampage. Remember what happened last time?"

XXXXXXXX

FLASHBACK

"Oh the humanity!" screamed Kid as he watched a chunk of his precious mansion burn, fire trucks shooting jets of water at it.

"I told you sugar was a bad idea." Said Liz. "At least it was just the attic. Nothing important's up there."

"BUT THE SYMMETRY IS HORRIFYINGLY OFF!" screamed Kid.

Liz rolled her eyes. She turned around and saw the tornado that was the sugar-hyped Patricia Thompson, heading directly for the city.

"Dear god…" she said. "Kid, you stay here and have your hissy fit. I've got to stop Patty from burning the entire town down." Off she ran, leaving the sobbing Kid writhing and wailing on the sidewalk.

FLASHBACK ENDS

XXXXXXX

"I swear I can still see the scorch marks when I look at the manor…" said Kid, his eyes glassed over with memories.

"Anyways," He said, snapping out of it. "You girls get up to your rooms. Study for an hour, and you may watch TV or whatever."

"hurray!" said the girls, running off to their rooms.

"Well, if the girls aren't going to have one, I may as well." Said Kid, looking at the cookies. He took them over to the couch, in another room, and sat down. He delicately picked the middle cookie up, and placed the paper plate, with the other two cookies still symmetrical and untouched, on the endtable nearby.

Kid took a nibble at the cookie. Then his eyes went wide. "This is one good cookie!" he said, gobbling it down.

As he finished, licking his fingers, he suddenly became very sleepy. "What on…" he muttered. He tried to get up, but his limbs felt like they were filled with lead, and growing heavier. His eyes began to close.

His brain was yelling that something here was very, very wrong, but his body refused to obey. "As long as I can't get up, I may as well… yawn… take a… nap…" said Kid slowly, his foggy mind not thinking clearly. He tilted over, then fell on his side on the couch, out like a light.

Xxxxxxxx

Kid half-woke to loud, chaotic noises. He was going to get up, but he was still too tired. He settled for opening his eyes a crack.

He was so out of it, he couldn't even make out shapes. He could just see blurs. He saw the blurs of the furniture, sideways, due to HIM being sideways. Then he saw the blurry image of Liz, wielding Patty in gun form and firing blasts, slowly walking backwards across his field of vision.

"Who… is she shooting at…" Kid's fogged mind struggled to think, but he was unable to. Then, as his eyes began to close, he saw a black figure, carrying some sharp, large, round object, following after Liz. The little pink blurs – blasts from Patty – bounced right off him as he made his way forwards.

A tiny part of Kid's brain was panicking, screaming "intruder! Intruder! Danger! Danger!", but Kid wasn't listening. His cracked-open eyes slowly closed, and he drifted back into unconsiousness, not hearing the screams of his weapons, begging him for help.

Xxxxxxxx

Consiousness returned slowly to Kid, but eventually, his eyes slowly opened. He dragged himself up, still lethargic, but not paralyzingly so anymore. "What the hell hit me…" he muttered. He looked at his watch. 9:00. He had been out for two hours… He tried to get up, but the world spun, and he thunked back down again.

That noise. What was that noise. It took Kid a couple seconds to figure out that the noise was his cell phone ringing.

He slowly reached into his pocket, and pulled out his death-insignia smartphone. He hit the talk button.

"Hello?" he grumbled, still tired. He slumped back against the couch.

"Um… hello…" said a shy, nervous voice. Kid surmised it was a twelve or thirteen-year-old boy.

"Who the hell is this? How did you get this number?" mumbled Kid, slowly awakening. He felt there was something important he should remember…

"Um… my name's Marcus… is this… is this Death the Kid…" stuttered the voice.

"Speaking. What do you want?" asked Kid.

"Um… I just wanted… wanted to talk…" said Marcus.

"…fine. Whatever." Said Kid. His legs felt like lead anyways, the only thing he could move was his mouth.

"U-umm… what?" Marcus was talking away from the phone now, to somebody near him. Kid heard a female voice, unintelligible. "Um… well, you see, mr Kid…" said Marcus' voice back into the speaker. "Me… and my friends… we were assigned a test…"

"Oh really?" asked Kid, humoring this little brat. The urge that he was forgetting something grew stronger.

"Y-yeah… we… we were assigned by Mr Sid… t-t-to steal… a certain something…

"…From you."

Kid paused, then laughed. "You little dipshit. When you plan to burgle somebody, don't fucking call them before you do so! Good luck getting past me now, you little idiot."

"Um… we d-d-don't have to worry about you anymore…" said Marcus quietly.

"We already stole them…"

"Them? What's them?" asked Kid, growing more alert.

"Um… what's them again?" Marcus was speaking to the person away from the phone again, to the girl who was apparently next to him.

"For the love of… give me the phone." Said the girl, now understandable by Kid's more focused ears. There was a small rattle; the phone being passed to another. "Hello, dumbass." Said a much more confident girl's voice. It was slightly older then Marcus, more like 14. "I'm Nene, and I'm the girl who robbed the stupid grim reaper and got away with it. Not that it was a challenge, lol!"

"What did you steal, you midget?" growled Kid, now fully awake and fully pissed off.

"Let me put it this way." Said Nene smugly.

"It's 9 o' clock. Do you now where your weapons are?"

Kid's heart stopped as the memories rushed back to him. The black figure. Liz firing blasts.

"YOU KIDNAPPED LIZ AND PATTY?" screamed Kid, leaping to his feet.

"somebody give the man another cookie, spiked with some sleep potion shit Stein gave us. Garunteed to work on a shinigami or your money back." Said Nene, giggling evilly.

"who are you? Where are you? GIVE ME MY WEAPONS BACK!" screamed Kid, almost crushing the phone in his hand.

"Hmm… how 'bout no. y'see, if we flunk this test, we have to start the year over again. I don't want to do that." Said Nene. "What'cha gonna do about it? You're helpless without your stupid weapons!"

"You will regret challenging death itself!" growled Kid into the phone.

"Bla bla bla. By the way, just in case, We left you a little surprise in your entry room. Buh-bye now."

"FUCK YOU, YOU LITTLE SLUT! I'M FUCKING GONNA BUTT-RAPE YOU WITH A –" The phone died, cut off from the other end. Kid roared with anger, and crushed the phone in his reaper-strength hand. "They're going down…" he muttered. "but first, the antechamber."

Kid ran over to the very chamber which he led Liz and Patty through on their very first night.

He gasped.

The magnificent, extraordinary, perfectly symmetrical swiss crystal chandelier was smashed, shattered beyond repair, on the floor.

"NOOO!" Kid screamed, rushing over, then falling on his knees, not feeling the splinters of glass which cut into him. His symmetry instincts had taken over, making him completely forget about the girls, and focus on the broken chandelier in his antechamber. "THAT CHANDELIER COST TEN MILLION DOLLARS! THOSE HEARTLESS, ASSYMETRICAL LITTLE BASTARDS!"

"MUST GET DUSTPAN! AND BROOM! AND MOP! AND BUCKET!" he screamed, running in circles. He began to run for the supply cabinet.

Then he froze. He clutched his chest. What was this feeling? It felt like two demons were battling within him.

Actually, there were two demons battling within him. Metaphorically, of course.

One demon was green, and huge. It had been there for nearly seventy-five mortal years; it was Kid's love of symmetry.

The second demon had been there only a few seconds. It was much smaller, and red rather then green. It was the rage Kid felt towards the intruders who dared break into Kid's home.

(keep in mind, this next little bit takes place in a mere second in real time. - author)

"BWA HA HA HA!" cackled the green demon, pointing at the tiny red demon. "YOU THINK YOU STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ME?"

"Shut up, fatty!" screamed the red demon. It was tiny, but big things come in small packages. It leapt to the green demon's head, and using incredible force, slammed him to the ground. It held its tiny pitchfork in front of the giant's eye.

"Listen to me!" screamed the red demon in the green one's face. "if we let those little pieces of shit get away, we will be the laughing stock of the whole town! We'll never be taken serious, we'll be known as the only grim reaper to be beaten by a bunch of midgets!"

The red demon jabbed its pitchfork a little more. "Let's compromise, what say?" the huge green demon whimpered and nodded. "If you allow me a hour or two at the controls in order to catch those little shits and beat them into a bloody pulp, I'll let you obsess over the stupid chandelier as much as you want?"

The big green demon thought. "I SUPPOSE THAT'S FAIR." He said. The red demon let him back up, then grabbed his pointer finger with both his hands, and the two demons shook on the deal.

Back in the real world.

Kid gasped. It felt like a pipe had switched courses somewhere in his body, and the fuel which powered his symmetry obsession now fueled rage towards the intruders.

Kid's eyes narrowed. His fists clenched. Then he roared with such force, the foundations of the house themselves shook. It could be heard all over town.

He ran rapidly to one of the many rooms in his house; the prototype lab. This was where he conducted science experiments, sometimes for fun, sometimes because the fate of the world hinged on it.

Once in there, he ran straight for a certain keypad on the wall. He punched in a code and pressed a red button. Then he placed his hand on a scanner. An ominous bell sounded.

The room darkened, and a round hole opened up in the floor. Steam rose out of it, and obscured by the steam, something on a pedestal rose.

Kid snatched the object. "It's just a prototype… it was never meant to be used… but with my weapons gone, i have no other option. Besides, i think the little bastards have earned it." He muttered, staring at the deadly weapon.

He strapped it to his back, and then summoned Beelzebub, hopped on, and zoomed through the house and out the door, towards the Death Weapon and Meister Academy.


	26. Little Devils pt 2

Hey all!

If it's not too much trouble, play one of the following songs while you read this (rated from most to least recommended). It'll really help the atmosphere. Replay them if you have to.

1. Sick Puppies – You're Going Down

2. Skyrim Main Theme

3. Mortal Kombat Main Theme

4. Disturbed - Indestructible

5. Seether – Fake It

6. Mortal Kombat – Reptile Theme

7. Pretty Much Any Modern Sonic Game Theme Song

8. Skyrim – Watch the Skies

(there are more, but I wanted to put exactly 8 in.)

P.S. Ok, i just looked back at the ending, and it's way more brutal then i remember making it. It's basically one big WTF, now that i think about it. I added some stuff to make it more realistic, and less wtf.

XXXXXXXX

"Hurry! We have to get there before 10:00!"

Marcus ran around his friends in circles impatiently. He was short for his age, and wore a blue jacket. He had blonde hair, blue eyes, and a nervous expression.

"Marc, chill. We got like 45 minutes." Said Nene. She was a bit muscular, and signifigantly larger then Marcus. She had brown hair, a ponytail, and a smug expression. She wore a black, glowing backpack on her back.

"Yeah Marc, grow a pair, willya?" said Bronny. He wore a green jacket, and had long blonde hair.

"Guys, we really should hurry up. The school's still almost on the other side of town." Said Keesha. She had short black hair, and looked asian. She wore a purple gown, which went to her knees.

"Well, unless he flies, he's not gonna catch up with us." Said Gerald. He was African-American, and had long black dreadlocks. He wore a black jacket.

"It's not that he's gonna catch up. It's that we're not gonna make it." Said Shiva. She was shorter then marcus, and had gray hair (despite her being as old as the others) and a white tee and shorts.

"Shiv's right. We need to speed up." Said Marcus, looking at his watch. "We're never gonna make it at this rate."

"Are you kidding?" laughed Nene. "We could crawl and still make it with half time to spare!"

Suddenly, the entire city quaked. Huge chasms opened in the ground, splitting the buildings themselves, and fires started all over the city. Car alarms went off, and dogs howled, and cats yowled.

As it happened, a horrible, inhuman roar-scream came from the manor which they had left a half-hour ago.

"…well, that'll slow our progress." Said Keesha, looking at the huge chasms which separated them and the school, still two miles away.

"I KNEW we should have gone with summer school, instead of robbing the grim reaper!" wailed Marcus desparately.

"Shaddup!" screamed Nene in Marcus' face. "This isn't over yet! Not by a long shot." Then she addressed the entire group. "LISTEN UP! We got forty-two minutes before we flunk! The weapons can't get out of the backpack Stein gave us, so our main problem is speed now."

"And the fact that DTK could come after us any second." Said Gerald.

"I SAID SHADDUP!" screamed Nene.

"Somebody forgot to take her meds today…" Shiva whispered to Gerald.

"Ok, here's what we're gonna do." Continued Nene. "Bronny, Keesha, you guys stay here in this spot and keep an eye out for Kid. If he appears, call us ASAP. Gerald, Shiva, You guys take to the roofs and do sentry duty. Again, call us if you spot Kid. Me and Marc will deliver the payload to the drop zone. ANY QUESTIONS?" she shouted.

"Yeah. Does your little plan work if I've already caught up with you?"

The voice came from the shadows, and as the six whipped around, Kid stepped out, murder in his eyes.

"HAH! You don't stand a chance! Your natural karate's gonna do SHIT against our weapons!" gloated Nene.

"Well, maybe THAT won't help…" Kid grinned demonically. "But this will."

He reached behind his back, over his shoulder, and pulled out a bizarre instrument.

It was two long rods of metal, connected at the base by a horizontal rod which connected to the rubber handle. The thing was rather crude; it looked like it was hastily thrown together, or that it was still in the design phase.

"HAH! What the hell is that stupid thing?" asked Nene.

Kid smiled. Suddenly, the two rods of the weapon glowed with black energy. Arcs of black lightning went between them, and the entire thing looked lethal. Death-insignia vapor skulls drifted from it.

"Like it?" asked Kid almost casually. "It's my own design. One of a kind. It's made to help me directly channel my shinigami energies into a volatile weaponized form." Kid swung the weapon, both hands on the handle and what looked almost like a trail of molten glass trailed behind it, disappearing after a second.

"I call it the DAmp. The Death Amplifier." Kid then growled at them. "Last chance to give me back my weapons, you little snots. Refuse, and every last one of you spends your summer vaca in the hospital."

"IN YOUR DREAMS!" screamed Nene. The others looked defiant too, even shy little Marcus. "New plan! Keesha, Bronny, slow him down here! Ger, Shiv, follow me and Marc!"

Nene, Marcus, Gerald and Shiva ran away, Leaving Bronny and Keesha facing the pissed-off shinigami.

"So you have a fancy toy. Big deal." Said Bronny, whipping his hair Justin Beiber style. "I have one too."

He held out his hand, and Keesha transformed in a flash of blue light. A weapon! Within seconds, Bronny held a Katana blade, the lethal long-bladed sword used by ancient samuri.

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN!" Kid screamed as he tore towards the duo, the DAmp glowing wickedly.

Bronny charged towards Kid, and the two locked weapons.

Shing! Sp-tang! Bwang! Ka-shang!

The two weapons bounced off each other, glowing with power.

Block. Dodge. Thrust. Dodge. Swipe. Jump. Kid was a mass of impulses and power as he fought Bronny fiercely. The little one-star was good, but no match for the son of Death itself.

Kid roared as he sidestepped a thrust, and THWAMmed Bronny right in the throat, pinning it against the wall between the two prongs of the DAmp. He grunted, and a blast of pure black energy blasted Bronny in the throat. He fell into unconsiousness, barely breathing.

"BRONNY! NOOOO!" Keesha shrieked, but she was kicked, Sparta-style, by Kid, into the huge chasm. She screamed as she fell down the huge chasm, but then she landed HARD on a rock outcrop from the edge of the chasm. There she lay; by the look of her limbs, one of her legs was broken. One of her arms, too. Quite possibly her neck.

Kid stared after her, watching her crash in the molten crevice. Then he summoned Beelzebub and flew into the air, over the chasm, in search of the other four.

Xxxxxxxx

Meanwhile, The other four were a mile from the school, now running.

"Oh my god, did you hear that?" asked Marcus. They heard Keesha's terrible shriek as she fell down into the huge chasm.

"Well of course I – SHIT!" Nene nearly fell into another huge lava-filled pit. "These things are everywhere!" she cried as the four maneuvered around it.

"Look!" Shiva cried, pointing the way they came as they made it to the other side of the pit. A black motion blur was hurtling through the sky, in their direction.

"Jesus Christ, he got past them! Ok, plan C – Ger, Shiv, you stay here and distract him. Marc, it's you and me, man." Said Nene, patting her partner on the back.

"N-N-Nene… I d-don't want to do this anymore… whimpered Marcus.

"SHUT UP! We're in this together, if I die, you die too!" screamed Nene in Marcus' face.

"Y-yes…" said Marcus quietly. Together, he and Ellie ran towards the school. Gerald and Shiv stood defiantly, facing the oncoming black blur.

"How much time?" asked Shiv, not taking her eyes off Kid.

"25 minutes." Said Gerald, glancing at his watch.

"Lets do this."

Xxxxxxxx

Kid rode Beelzebub high above the decimated city, the DAmp on his back once more.

"Where are you…" he muttered as he scanned the city.

SHUNK.

Kid grunted, it felt like someone had punched him in his abdomen. He looked down.

A dagger hilt stuck out of his stomach.

Kid grunted, and pulled it out. He knew that would only increase the bleeding, but he wasn't thinking clearly, his mind clouded with rage.

As he held the bloody dagger in his hand, It transformed in a flash of white light into Shiva.

Beelzebub, unable to suddenly handle two passengers, went into a nosedive, spiraling towards the ground.

THAM!

Kid moaned. He laid on the ground, stunned. Nearby, Shiva lay, back in dagger form to absorb the blast.

"She's unconscious, but she's still in dagger form, so she's still deadly." Though Kid to himself as he staggered up. He clutched the wound in his abdomen, blood pouring from it. It wasn't critically bleeding, a flesh wound only, but if he didn't fix it soon, he would bleed out.

Moaning, Kid quickly ripped off the left sleeve of his battered suit jacket, and fashioned it into a crude black bandage, which he snuck under his jacket onto his bare skin. He wrapped it around his waist, protecting the wound and stopping the bleeding.

Then he ripped off his right sleeve, and tossed it away. Now he was symmetrical. He now wore what looked like a half muscle shirt (minus most of the muscles), half suit jacket.

"Cough… ungh…" came a voice from nearby. Kid turned to see Gerald stumble from the newly created wreckage, made by his crash. Kid couldn't see Beelzebub anywhere; most likely went back to the nether-void.

"You're not getting away…" muttered Gerald as he grabbed the unconscious Shiva in his hand, and clutched her desparately.

Kid pulled the DAmp off his back. He growled as the black electricity began to flow once more between the two prongs.

Kid and Gerald dashed at each other. Kid swung the DAmp, but Gerald was nimble, and avoided the swings. Gerald lunged and stabbed with the unconscious dagger-Shiva, but Kid was equally nimble, and dodged the African-American's strikes.

"Time to finish this." Said Kid. Then he ran away, to the other end of the decimated street.

"Aww, what's wrong? The little shinigami had enough? Runnin' back to big bad daddy death?" Gerald mocked after him.

Then Kid turned, and grinned. He ran towards Gerald, and, just before he reached him, he slid, feet first, like a baseball runner sliding into home plate. His feet collided with Gerald's and the boy flipped over the still-sliding Kid.

Gerald's stunned eyes stared into Kid's yellow ones. Kid waved, smiling.

Then, as Gerald was about to begin his descent back to the ground, as fast as lightning, Kid stood up, and swung the DAmp, connecting directly with Gerald's ear.

Gerald screamed as black energy flowed from the point of impact into his skull. Kid heard another crack, and could tell the boy's cranial cavity had been compromised.

Kid stood up as Gerald crashed to the ground. Blood began to pool from the struck side of his head onto the ground. He didn't move, but Kid could see his soul faintly clinging on to life.

Kid smirked. "Four down, two to go." He said as he summoned Beelzebub, and hopped on. Then he sped after Nene and Marcus.

Xxxxxxxx

"We made it!" Marcus cried as he and Nene reached the steps. "I'd didn't think we'd make it, but we made it!"

"Good work, little buddy." Said Nene, thumping Marcus on the back. Together, they began up the steps.

Then the stopped as they heard a horrible hum, and a crackling sound, growing closer.

The two looked up, and gasped.

For a split nanosecond, they saw clearly, Kid, face full of rage, clutching the damp in his hands, his body covered with black energy, about to unleash a power blast when he made impact with the two.

Acting incredibly fast, Nene leapt and pushed Marcus to the side of the steps as Kid created a huge crater in the ground where they had been standing a second before.

Nene turned, to see Kid standing in the crater, which was still crackling with black energy.

"So you caught up with us!" she said, grinning. "Well, it won't do you any good. We still have five minutes, and Mr sid is only fifty feet away!" she pointed to the top of the steps, where Sid, the zombie, sat in a chair impassively, arms crossed, a grim expression on his face.

"But to get to him, you'll have to go through me." Growled Kid. The two teams had rotated so that Kid was between the two little monsters and their teacher.

"Hmmph! Those guys back there? They were just warm-ups. WE are your real challenge. Marcus! Let's do this!" Nene cried. She threw the backpack to Marcus, who nervously slung it on.

Then Nene transformed, leaping to Marcus. Within a second, strapped to Marcus' arm was what looked like three wicked blades fused together, exactly 120 degrees rotated from each other, to form a Frisbee-like weapon.

"A glaive! Impressive." Said Kid, grinning. "those are quite rare! But still no match for my-"

Marty flung the glaive clumsily at the DAmp, which Kid held. It hit Kid's hand, and caused the DAmp to fly out of it…

…right into a nearby chasm.

"NO!" Kid yelled, but it was too late, the Death Amplifier was history.

"Hah!" said Nene as she returned to Marty, like a boomerang or Captain America's shield. "We'll be the first kids to ever beat a grim reaper! This'll make a great story for the kids at school."

Kid growled, his fists clenched. He began tremble all over. "YOU WON'T BE ALIVE TO TELL IT!" He screamed.

He raised his hands, and his rings glowed. he maneuvered his fingers, and a holo-image of his father materialized in front of him. They began to talk.

xxxxxxxx

"What's he doing?" asked Marty to Nene.

"When a grim reaper's son uses his most powerful moves, he has to call his father and get permission first."

"Why?"

"So that the father can grant him the strength to activate the powers in the first place."

Kid and his father had stopped talking. Shinigami-sama nodded once, slowly. Kid cut the connection, and turned to the two, who were 20 feet away.

"Good news, y'all!" said Kid, smiling.

"Father gave me permission to go all out on you losers."

"Oh shit..." said the other two, finally realizing they'd bitten off more they could chew.

"FORBIDDEN REAPER TECHNIQUE!" Kid roared, drawing arcane symbols in the air with his hands. "BLACK WRATHBEAST!"

Then, as the symbols glowed, turned black and dissappeared, Kid's hands went to the sides of his head. He moaned, and he groaned.

Then he changed.

He turned completely black. He grew so huge that only his pants were still on, hulk-style.

His hands, on either side of his head, elongated and sharpened into dark purple claws. His feet burst out of his loafers, and twisted into huge goat hooves. Muscles rippled all over his body.

Out of Kid's back grew two huge dragon wings. The bone structure was black, but the thin skin stretched between the bones was dark purple.

He stopped trembling, and his hands slowly lowered from his face. Two dark purple horns grew satan-style out of his head. His mouth had transformed so that it was now a mass of black fangs. His eyes were dark purple, and they had purple flames coming out the outer sides.

He roared a terrible, monstrous roar, which sounded like it came from hell's very pits. Then he rushed towards the terrified meister, wings outstretched, fury in his eyes.

Marcus could only stand, paralyzed with fear, as the monster which was once Kid rushed towards them. He didn't even scream as the beast slammed into him, slashing and tearing him to pieces. His kidney flew this way, his leg flew that.

Nene managed to escape the carnage, and, morphing out of glaive form, watched in horror as her meister was ripped to shreds.

Soon, Marcus only had his right leg left intact. He was moaning faintly as Kid roared to the sky, blood streaming from his claws, dripping from his fangs, splattered all over his black chest.

Then the monster turned to Nene. It's huge feet left impressions in the ground as it slowly, intimidatingly, THOOMed towards her.

Devil-Kid punted the girl with a cloven, dark purple hoof. Nene screamed as she flew through the air and crashed into a building, leaving a Nene-shaped imprint.

Then the monster was looming over her, grinning, and Nene honestly thought she was in hell.

Devil-Kid then reared back, then roared incredibly forcefully and loudly, his huge face three feet from the tiny Nene.

As Nene watched the monster roar waves of pure force at her, she felt pain. Excruciating, unbearable pain, all over her body. Her arms, her skull, her chest, her waist, her legs, and everywhere else, hurt like it was on fire. Her ears, eyes, nose and mouth began to all blood

Within seconds, a lump of helpless skin and flesh which barely resembled Nene lay in front of Kid. Every last bone in her body had turned to dust from he force of Kid's roar.

Then, Kid shrunk back down to his normal size. The black bandage, though a bit stretched, still wrapped around his abdomen. His tattered pants clutched his waist as he staggered back to the corpse of Marty, avoiding his own huge crater-footsteps. He glared at Sid, who still sat at the top of the steps. Kid would deal with him later.

Kid reached the decimated body of Marcus, who had gone silent, KOed from blood loss and sheer pain. He rolled the body over, and took off the backpack.

He opened the backpack, and pulled out his weapons.

"KID!" the girls cried in joy, turning back to human form. They hugged him, oh so grateful for his rescuing them.

"I can't believe you managed to save us!" said Patty brightly.

Then the girls turned around.

"EWWW!" cried Liz leaping away from Marcus' corpse. Patty laughed hysterically.

"Kid, they were just KIDS! Innocent little babies! Why did you kill them?" said Liz. She wasn't completely heartless.

"Firstly, these guys kidnapped you and shoved you in a backpack for hours. You really feel sorry for them?" asked Liz.

"Second, I didn't actually kill them. All of them will survive, just barely. They will go through excruciating pain as they recover, though." Kid hugged the girls tighter. "I was so worried about you guys… maybe I DID overreact just a twitch, but seriously, I refused to let them get away with what they did unscathed."

"Ugh…" said Liz with fear and disgust as she stared at the body of Marcus. She hadn't realized just how brutal Kid could be.

"Lets go home girls. I called 911, so these idiots should be picked up." He looked over at the lump of Nene-flesh.

"Think twice before you dick with the son of death itself." Said Kid quietly. Then he held out his hands, and his weapons transformed back into weapon form. He shoved them in their holsters, and summoned Beelzebub. Reunited, the trio headed for home.


	27. what's going on?

After the last, brutal chap, I thought I'd have a cute little one.

XXXXXXXX

Patty skipped through the manor's many halls, singing.

"la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la…"

…If you can count repeating one note over and over as "singing".

Patty skipped past Liz' bedroom, then stopped and turned back. Was that Kid's voice she heard?

"Kid… stop… please…" Liz moaned.

Patty gasped and listened closer.

"Elizabeth, just hold still. That way, we'll get this over with faster."

"But it HURTS, Kid!"

"When you squirm like that, of course it's gonna hurt."

"Kid… I'm scared…"

"Don't be. Just relax and try to enjoy it."

"How can I enjoy it? You're freaking on top of me!"

Patty covered her mouth with both her hands. Her sister was being raped? By Kid?

Kid complained that girls on MTV wore too little clothing! Who knew he was such a hornball!

"Kid… it really hurts when you go all fast like that…"

"Well, what did you expect?"

"I expected you to be normal about this! I didn't think you were going to go all out!"

"Liz, when you agreed to this, you knew the risks…"

"Well… y-yes, but… does it really have to be so HARD?"

"Liz, will you just shut up and hold still? I'm trying to enjoy this."

Liz' whimper confirmed Patty's suspicions. Without further ado, she kicked the door open, and leapt inside. "Never fear, sister! Patty's here to save the… day?"

"Ah! Hello Patricia!" said Kid brightly.

Both he and Liz were fully clothed. Liz sat on her nightstand chair, and Kid sat on her lap, facing her. In one hand he held a pair of tweezers.

As Patty watched, he plucked an eyebrow hair from Liz' forehead.

"OW! Kid, stoppit!" said Liz, giving a little flail.

"Liz, I'm telling you, the sooner you calm down, the sooner we get your eyebrows plucked!" replied Kid, eliminating yet another eyebrow hair. "Anyways, Patricia, do you require something?" asked Kid, looking back at Patty.

"Oh, nothing… n-nothing at all…" said Patty, struggling to hold in her laughter. "I'll be going now…" she walked out the door, not taking her eyes off Kid and Liz until she shut it.

As soon as it was closed, the duo heard an explosion of laughter from out in the hallway.

"What was that about?" asked Liz, looking at Kid.

"I have no idea." Said Kid, looking at Liz' face once more. "Well what do you know? We're finished!"

"Finally!" said Liz, standing up and looking in her mirror.

She gasped. They really WERE now symmetrical!

"Do you like it?" asked Kid shyly. Liz realized that this was his sort of a present for her, a casual gift rather then meticulous routine.

Liz hugged him. "I love it." She said, smiling.


	28. death of death pt 1

Ok, I've pretty much run dry on ideas for this phase of the story, so I'm going to just do the transition to the next phase now. Enjoy my lovingly crafted endgame, "Death of Death"!

XXXXXXXX

The day had finally come.

Liz and Patty had finally collected 99 Kishin souls each.

It was a month after Asura died when they got the final two, from a pair of elemental siblings.

xxxxxxxx

Las Vegas, Nevada. Atop the stratosphere tower, the tallest building in the city.

"Lightning brothers… your souls are mine!" Kid said. He faced them, mano a mano. Liz and Patty were nowhere to be seen (we'll come back to that later.)

They wore blue shirts, and crackled with neon-blue electricity. "We don't think so." They said in tandem.

With a FZZZT, they turned into twin bolts of lightning, which zoomed towards Kid. Kid rolled to his side as they crashed to the ground where he had been standing moments before.

"We will destroy you!" said the boys as they chased Kid around the flat top of the tower. The boys were lethal, shooting powerful blasts, but Kid dodged and rolled like a master.

Then Kid appeared to stumble. The brothers took the opening, and lightning-tackled him to the ground. Turning back to human form, they pinned him immobile.

"Any last words?" said one, his electric-blue eyes glowing as he held a orb of heart-stopping lightning over Kid's chest.

"No…" said Kid.

"But we have a couple!"

The boys looked around, still pinning Kid to the ground.

Out from behind the tower's spire came a pair of beautiful blondes.

The taller one, with long, dirty blonde hair, wore a glittering red dress, with a v-neck and excellent view of her legs. The shorter one, with a childish face, wore ripped-up short shorts, and a black, sequin-covered top.

The boys drooled as the girls made their way across the rooftop towards them. Liz took the one pinning Kid's feet, Patty the one holding his shoulders.

Liz smiled deliciously, her red lipstick sparkling and gleaming from the neon lights far below. She kneeled down, and wrapped her arms around the paralyzed lightning-boy. The bolts surrounding his body stopped, allowing her to get close.

Liz half-closed her eyes and went in for the kill. Her face was inches from his, and the brother smiled a goofy, dreamy smile.

Then there was a click. The boy's grin vanished, and his eyes slowly looked down to his neck.

Held to his neck, Liz had transformed her pointer finger into the barrel of a gun.

Liz kissed the doomed boy as she blew his head off.

"Pat, you take out the other one?" she asked as she stood back up.

"Yep! Hee hee!" said Patty.

"Excellent work, girls." Said Kid, standing back up and brushing himself off. "Say, when did you learn to half-form your fingers?"

"Soul helped teach us how." Answered Liz.

"Anyways, Go ahead and do the honors." Kid said, gesturing.

Where the brothers had been, two kishin souls now hovered. Patty grabbed one, Liz the other. They began to dine.

As Liz finished the soul, she felt the now familiar surge of power as the energy flowed into her. It felt slightly different now, though. She felt… full.

"Congratulations!" said Kid, hugging the duo all of a sudden.

Liz blushed as she felt Kid against her. Her feelings for him were really starting to emerge now. She had a feeling that if he was older, he'd be gorgeous… but right now, she couldn't even tell him how she felt without feeling like a pedo.

"Ok, let me explain how it works from here on out." Said Kid, letting go of the girls and pacing back and forth across the roof. "It's the same game, girls, but with different rules."

"So first, until you eat a witch's soul, you can't eat any more Kishin souls."

"Meh, it's ok. I'm not hungry for them anymore." Said Patty, waving a hand dismissively.

"What? You too?" asked Liz, looking at Patty.

"That's one of a weapon's natural biological functions. The feeling of fullness prevents you from eating Kishin souls before you eat a witch soul." Said Kid, still pacing.

"Big deal. It's just one soul, remember? Not 99." Questioned Liz.

"Yes, but witches' souls are far harder to obtain." Replied Kid. "First of all, while Kishin are relatively common, witches are insanely rare. There's roughly 50 in earthrealm and soulrealm combined.

"Secondly, witches are insanely powerful, with magic unlimited. As well as that, most of them are incredibly skilled, some on the verge of legendary." Kid stopped pacing and looked at the girls. "This will be your toughest challenge yet, girls."

"Gee, where have I heard that before?" asked Liz sarcastically, tapping a finger on her chin.

"So witches are hard, big deal! How are we going to find them at all?" asked Patty.

"Ah, well, that's not a big deal. Honorable father finds witches for the students. He's very kind, because that saves them the trouble of having to rummage through a thousand books for possible locations, most of which are mere myths."

"And according to mythbusters, all myths are fake!" said Patty, smiling. (has Patty ever NOT smiled?)

"Ok, girls. Lets head home and rest up. You'll need all your energy for tomorrow night."

"Night? Why not any old time tomorrow?" asked Liz.

"Witches' wavelengths are easiest to detect at night. It will greatly ease our job." Replied Kid as he summoned a white portal to soulrealm.

"Weapons first." He said, gesturing.

"Such a gentleman." Said Liz, pinching his chin before stepping through, Patty following.

Kid placed his hand on his cheek, and slowly gave a small smile before following the girls through the portal.


	29. death of death pt 2

The doorbell at gallows manor was an oddly chilling sound. An ominous bell, which sounded incredibly terrifying.

The bell sounded now. DOOONNNGGG!

"I'll get it." Called Liz, walking to the door. "Who's this? It'd better not be Black*Star for one of his surprise visits. 'A god like ME doesn't need to call in an appointment like a common mortal! People can see me coming from a mile away!' sheesh."

Liz opened the door, and was greeted with a mass of blackness.

"ack! What happened to the city?" asked Liz, looking around wildly.

"ahem."

The voice came from above Liz. She looked up to see a familiar death-mask insignia.

But this was not the insignia. It was the real thing.

"Hello, Shinigami-sama!" said Liz brightly. She stepped aside to allow him in, and called, "Kid! Your dad's here!"

"In a moment!" came Kid's voice.

"Whee!" sliding down the banister came Patty, happy as ever. "Hey, Mr. Death!" she cried, hugging Shinigami-sama around the waist. (he was too tall for her to hug above that.)

"Well hello there, cutie-patootie! How's my cute little demon gun doing?" replied Lord Death, hugging the girl back.

"Great, thanks!" giggled Patty.

"Father!" Kid called, rushing down the stairs. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Lord Death "tsk"ed. "Kiddo, give your dad a hug, willya? Quit being so formal all the time!"

Shinigami-sama went up and wrapped his arms around Kid. Kid stood there awkwardly, not used to intimate contact.

"I take it you didn't just come here for a round of hugs, father?" asked Kid.

"Ah, yes!" Lord Death said, standing back up. "Come to the living room with me, if you will."

Lord Death led the way to the aforementioned room. Kid sat on the couch, Liz and Patty on either side. Shinigami-sama stood opposite them, on the other side of a large coffee table.

"Well, Kid, here they are. All the witches I could get my hands on. Take your pick." Said Lord Death. He spread out a couple dozen photos on the coffee table.

"Are any of them twin witches?" asked Kid, leaning forwards with his weapons to look at the photos.

"Um… I don't think there's even a pair of twin witches which exists… there are sibling witches, though." Replied Lord Death, scratching his head.

"Well, as long as I get two souls." Said Kid, looking over the photos.

"What are these numbers on the back?" asked Liz, looking at the back of a photo. She flipped it over so everyone could see. A number 7 was clearly printed on the back.

"That's the danger scale, Liz." Lord Death replied. "It implicates how dangerous a witch is. It goes from one to ten. One is, 'easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy.' Needles to say, number one witches are either EXTREMELY rare, or very young, like the witch Angela."

"and ten?"

"means you're screwed."

"Hey, here's one of Medusa!" said Patty, holding up another photo. Sure enough, Medusa's creepy-ass visage graced the photo. A red X crossed the photo.

"Yeah, I must have forgotten to take that one out. The X means deceased, of course." Replied Lord Death.

Kid picked up one. "How about this one?" he showed his partners a long-nosed witch, with a classic black hat.

"cliché." Said Liz, picking up another. "How 'bout a modern one?" she showed them a photo of a black-haired witch with stylish sunglasses and lipstick.

"Bleh." Said Patty, sticking her tongue out. She also picked up a photo, then laughed. "OOOH! This one's funny!"

Kid looked at it. "Patty… no… just no…" he said weakly, looking at the photo she held.

(I'll let your imaginations do the rest. – author)

This general process continued for a couple minutes, as the group tried to decide on a witch.

Then Liz spotted an odd one. She picked up a photo which didn't have a face on it, but instead had a black castle. When she looked at the back, instead of a number, there was a question mark. "What's this one?" she asked Lord Death.

"Ah, yes. That one's new." Replied Shinigami-sama. "I just picked it up very recently. Though my soul-scans show there is definitely a witch soul there, I have no idea what she looks like, or what her power level is."

"Well, let's check it out then!" said Kid, looking at the photo.

"Um… Kid, for all we know, it could be a lvl 10 in there…" said Liz nervously.

"C'mon! it'll be fun! Exploring the unknown… going where no meister has gone before!" said Patty.

"…fine, I guess." Replied Liz after a moment.

"All righty then! Here's the location. Good luck, you three." Replied Lord Death. He handed them a sheet of paper. "Oh! I just remembered!" he said suddenly.

"Rumor has it, somewhere in the villages around the castle, a little girl and her brother were kidnapped."

"Is that so." Said Kid quietly. "Well, we'll keep an eye out as we make our way through the castle."

"I wish you all good luck." Said Shinigami-sama, bowing comically low. "Oh, and one last thing…"

"Come back to me with a witch soul… OR DON'T COME BACK AT ALL!" Lord Death roared, with a fierce face.

The trio quivered. Then Shinigami-sama straightened back up and said, "naaahhh, I'm just messing with you guys." Then he melted into the darkness, leaving the bewildered three staring after him.


	30. death of death pt 3

"Well, here we are." Said Kid, looking up at the massive castle. The trio had traversed through soulrealm, until they eventually made it to the castle, countless miles from death city.

It was about as evil as a place can get. COMPLETELY black, with terrible spires on the roof. Evil eyes seemed to watch them from the bushes, and ravens swooped, cawing, from the sky.

"AAA! Shoo! Shoo!" Liz cried, trying to beat away the ravens with her hands.

"C'monnn! Let's go inside already!" said Patty, kicking open the door.

The trio walked inside. Almost immediately, the door slammed shut behind them.

"Lemme guess… It's locked." Said Liz as she watched Kid tug the handle. Then she heard something. "Hey guys… do you hear that?" she put a hand to her ear.

"Yeah…" said Patty. "It sounds like… crying."

"Follow me, girls, but be on guard. This could well be a trap." Said Kid, continuing down the dark hall. Torches lit the way as they went towards the source of the crying.

Then, as they emerged into a larger room from the hallway, the death trio gasped.

In the center of the room, under a beam of light from somewhere above, was a little girl, barely 6 or 7, sobbing and wailing. She wore a poofy pink dress, and had long brown hair.

"Transform." Said Kid quietly. "This could well be a trap." Liz and Patty obliged, and Kid slowly advanced towards the sobbing girl, weapons pointed directly at her.

Then, when he was five feet away, the girl noticed him. "HELLPPP!" she screamed, leaping up and running to him. She hugged him around the waist, causing him to flinch in surprise.

"Easy, kid, easy." Said Kid, looking down at her.

"Y-you g-g-gotta help m-me!" she wailed, clutching his waist. "M-monsters! They t-t-took me and my brother away from m-m-mommy!"

"Kid, I think she's telling the truth." Said Liz quietly. "Remember what Lord Death said? a little girl and her brother were kidnapped."

"Right." Said Kid, tossing his weapons behind him. They transformed. Liz pried the girl off Kid and hugged her. "It's ok…" she said quietly.

"How did you escape from the monsters?" asked Kid, trying to pry more information from the girl.

"I squirmed and writhed a real lot… I don't really know how it happened." Said the girl, beginning to calm down. "All I know is, one second I'm trying to get out of the monster's grip, and the next, I'm running away. I managed to hide in a small space, and they passed me by."

"I see." Said Kid. He looked at his weapons. "Well, we sure can't just leave her here, and we can't bring her back to her home, since the door's locked…"

"Please… I know where my brother is." Said the girl, stepping forwards.

"You do?" asked Kid, facing her.

"Yeah… as I hid, I watched them shove him into a room, then lock the door…" she said. "I… I think I can lead you there, if you want."

"You know, this kills two bird with one stone." Said Kid. "I bet just about anything that if we find the brother, we find the witch."

"C'mon! this way!" said the girl, running ahead. The trio ran after her.

Xxxxxxxx

Ten minutes into the castle…

"Hey you guys?" asked Liz as the group continued to follow the girl deeper into the castle.

"Yeah?" replied Kid, looking at her.

"Is it just me, or does this seem… too easy?" Liz said.

"Actually… she's right." Said Patty. "If there really were monsters, at least ONE of them would have jumped us by now… we would at least have found some monster droppings…"

"Well, excusing the poop joke…" said Kid, glancing around. "…you guys are right. This IS too easy."

"My brother is just up ahead!" said the girl, bringing the trio's attention back to the current situation. "He's in this room!" the girl continued, stopping in front of a magnificent door.

The door had mystical symbols carved into it; ward symbols, to keep intruders away. There also was a pink glow from the door, which covered it and pulsated gently.

"I pushed and pushed, but it didn't even budge!" said the girl, standing to the side.

Liz and Patty pushed at the door as hard as they could, but sure enough, the ancient oak door was more solid then rock.

"Did the monsters say anything about the glowing seal on the door? Anything at all?" asked Kid to the child. "Even the tiniest bit of information could be helpful."

"Well…" the girl thought for a moment. "They said something like, 'only the touch of a witch can break this door's spell… or maybe a death god.'"

"Death god?" asked Kid.

"Yeah, but where are we going to find one of those?" asked the girl.

Kid mussed her hair a bit. "Well, if this isn't a coincidence! I'm a death god, little girl!"

The girl gasped. "Really? You can open it?"

"Well, I'll try." Kid went to the door and cracked his knuckles. Then he placed his hands on the door, and began to infuse reaper energy into it. "This could take a minute." He said to the others, who were watching anxiously.

Liz watched Patty play with the girl. "something's suspicious…" thought Liz to herself. "A seal which can only be broken by a death god, and we just so happen to have a death god? This can't be a coincidence."

"RAH!" said Kid as he finished his work. From his palms came a blast of black energy, and the barrier in front of the door dissolved.

"Yaaayyy!" said the girl, pushing Kid aside and shoving open the door, with surprising strength for one her size. "Big bro!" she called into the pitch-black room beyond. "It's me!"

A low voice replied, "J-Jenny? Is that you!"

"Brother!" called the little girl, who was apparently Jenny.

"Hang on… I'm coming… let me just… break these damn chains…" there was a bone-shaking roar, and a few metallic snaps were heard.

"Kid… Kid, something's wrong." Whispered Liz as heavy footsteps began to sound, slow, but getting louder. "This just doesn't add up… how could her brother just snap those chains? What was that roar? Also, a death-god-broken seal, and we just HAPPEN to have a death god on our team?"

"Y'know… you're right." Said Kid. He held out his hands, and by practice, the girls transformed and leapt into them. Kid backed up, pointing his guns at the huge black void as the footsteps grew ever louder.

Out of the black void stepped a horrid… thing. Was it man? Was it monster?

The thing's screen had a definite green tone to it; not lizard-green, more like rotten-zombie green. It was at least twelve feet tall, dwarfing the little girl and almost twice as tall as Kid. It wore a ragged pair of knee-length shorts, which were brown and looked like they were made of a potato sack. He wore no shirt, and his rotten, pockmarked chest was dull in the light from the torches. Its fingernails and toenails were long, ragged, clawlike.

It wore a brown hood, made of the same material as its pants, covering it's head. Mystical golden runes ran around the hood's edge. In the hood, where one's face would be, there was only a void of blackness.

The little girl hugged the monster's leg. "Yay! Brother!" she cried.

The monster didn't move, but it said, "Hey, J. how've you been all this time?"

"I've been TERRIBLE! I've had to fend for myself for who knows how many millennia!" said the girl.

"W-wait… you're the witch? Asked Kid, pointing a gun at the girl. "But that's impossible! I would have detected your soul!"

The girl smirked. "Soul protect, release." She said. There was a noise like a gust of wind, and suddenly, though her physical appearance didn't change, Kid saw her soul clearly. "Pathetically easy to fool your father into thinking we were kidnapped children." She continued. "a memory alteration here, a false image there… death must be losing his touch."

"So wait…" said Liz. "If you're the witch, then who's HE?" she referred to the monster-man, of course.

The hooded thing didn't move, but it spoke.

"Whoever said I WASN'T a witch?"

"B-b-but…" stuttered Liz. "Witches are always female!"

"Actually, there have been rumors of male witches." Said Kid, not taking his eyes off the evil duo. "They're called warlocks, and said to be the male equivilant of a witch. The main difference is, while witches prefer to focus on spells and long-range attacks, warlocks supposedly prefer to get up close and personal."

"You got that right." Said the monster, who was apparently a warlock. "But enough talk." Under the warlock's hood, two red eyes slowly appeared. Spectral flames came from them, giving the warlock a simply satanic appearance. "Jenny… transform." Said the warlock, thrusting out a hand.

"Yes, brother." Said Jenny. She twisted and morphed, in a flash of black light, like a weapon. In seconds, the warlock held in both hands a huge, 4-foot-long six-inch-wide ebony greatsword.

"Sweet mcjeebus on a bun…" said Patty quietly as she looked at the massive blade.

Slowly, a set of teeth appeared in the void of darkness under the warlock's hood. These were teeth which would give a dentist a heart attack; they were ragged and mismatched, crooked and twisted. Bizzarely, they were pearly white, as though the monster had time to brush his gnarly teeth. They were twisted in a grin so horrible, the Joker would be downright envious.

"Do you really think that a puny weakling such as you could beat a giant as huge as me?" asked the warlock, its ragged teeth moving, never going out of that horrible, horrible grin.

"Ever hear of David and Goliath, you oversized freak?" mocked Patty.

The grin never wavered. "Lets rock." The huge warlock growled, before lunging at Kid. Despite the grin, the beast looked terrifying as it charged towards Kid. Somehow the grin actually made the giant even MORE horrible.

"DIE!" the warlock screamed as its sword descended towards Kid.

"K-TANNNGG!"

"WHAT?" the beast screamed. Kid, using incredible maneuvering skills, had managed to stop the descending blade with the barrels of his guns. He grunted with effort as he kept the blade off him.

With a groan, Kid shoved the barrels away from him, causing the monster to be thrown back. The warlock flew through the air for a few feet before landing on its feet and dragging to a stop.

"eat this!" kid yelled as he fired countless blasts at the monster. The beast grunted, but continued its attack.

"We're wearing it down! Dodge and keep shooting!" Liz called.

Kid did just that, jumping out the warlock's charge ("ole'!") Kid then continued to fire at the beast, dodging a few more of its charges.

Kid could feel adrenaline pumping in his veins as he fought the warlock. No WAY was he going to win.

Then Kid had an idea. "OY PEABRAIN!" he called as he put his back to a wall.

"RRAAGH!" the warlock roared as it charged, sword raised.

Just before the monster was about to trample Kid, Kid dodged out of the way, causing the monster to crash into the stone wall, HARD.

"uggh…" the monster groaned as it stumbled around. Then it fell into a sitting position, its back against the wall. Blood came from gun wounds on its chest, and there was a nasty scorch mark on its arm.

"Now, while he's stunned! DEATH CANNON!"

Black spikes erupted out of Kid's shoulders as Liz and Patty elongated into death cannon mode.

"black needle charge at 98%!" Liz called.

"noise at .2%!" said Patty.

"Resonance at 1247%!" said Liz.

"Feedback in 3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"BLAST 'IM!" yelled Patty.

"DEATH CANNON!" Kid yelled, and a huge orange blast erupted from his weapons.

"THOOOM!" bulls-eye, dead in the chest.

Dust clouded around the warlock as Kid's weapons shrank back to classic form, and the spikes shrunk back into his shoulders.

Kid advanced towards the beast, still hidden in the cloud. Cautiously, he raised his weapons.

As the cloud cleared, Kid saw that the warlock had been critically hit. A huge hole was in the center of its massive chest, and blood trickled from its hood. The grin and eyes were still there, though; ever-vigilant.

As Kid approached, the monster coughed, and its head slowly turned to look at him.

"You're finished." Said Kid as he aimed his guns at the warlock's face.

The warlock groaned with pain. "Fuck you…" it said weakly through its gritted smile. "Sorry about this, sister."

The monster still clutched its huge ebony greatsword in one hand, which rested on the floor. It maneuvered it so that he held the sword's hilt in one hand, its blade in the other.

"b-brother?" said Jenny, still in sword form. "w-what are you-"

The monster roared with force, and snapped the blade in two. Jenny screamed, then her voice faded into nothing.

From the broken blade attatched to the hilt, a white light began to glow. The monster quickly dug the broken blade into the ground, gripping the hilt, throwing the other half away.

"This is the end." The monster growled, still gripping the hilt attatched to the blade buried in the ground. "My sister's power will erupt out of her in a gargantuan blast as soon as I yank the blade out of the ground, sending us all to hell. Don't even think about firing. It'll take at least a dozen shots to finish me off, and I'll pull the blade out long before that. If you even TWITCH, I yank her out.

"You're gonna leave through that hallway, and never come back here again. If you do as I say, I MIGHT let you live."

"Kid, it's a trap." Whispered Patty. "as soon as we turn our back on him, he's gonna yank it out anyways."

"I know. I'll have less then a second to act." Kid whispered back.

"Kid… I don't want to die…" whimpered Liz.

Kid looked at the elder weapon. A tear rolled down his cheek. He mouthed a single word.

"goodbye."

What happened in the next second, it seemed to Liz, happened in slow motion, in crystal clarity.

In what was really less then a second, but felt like an eternity to Liz, the events played out.

Lightning-fast, Kid summoned a white portal to earthrealm, off to his side.

Seeing this, Liz glimpsed the damned warlock's arm muscles tensing, about to pull the blade out of the ground.

Kid, with the speed of a death god, twisted to face the portal, and, even as the blade was pulled out and white light poured out of the hilt, Kid threw his weapons through the portal.

It was a scene Liz would never forget. In crystal clarity, just before she went through the portal, it was as though it was a picture: Kid's determined face, tears streaming down his cheeks. Him still in the pose, arms down, as he threw the girls, in weapon form, through the portal. The warlock's demonic grin as a shockwave of pure white energy blasted from the blade, completely obliterating everything.

Then Liz was through the portal, and it closed behind her. She turned back to human form and sat up, moaning. She looked around and saw, ironically, the portal had deposited her and Patty in the very Brooklyn alley they had first mugged Kid in. Then she paused as she realized the implications of what just happened.

Kid had sacrificed himself.

To save them.

Tears began to flow down Liz' cheeks as she looked to her side and saw Patty pushing herself off the ground. She made a sad little pouty face as she looked at Liz. Patty Thompson NEVER cried, no matter what happened. This was about as close as she got to crying.

The dam broke. Liz began to cry. The crying turned to sobbing, which turned to wailing, which turned to screams of grief. She threw herself into Patty's arms, screaming into her shirt, devastated at the loss of Kid.

She never got to tell him how she loved him…

Patty hugged Liz. Though she never cried, this was the closest she had come in a long time.

The girls sat like that, locked together, for what could have been a minute or could have been a week. Then, eventually, Patty looked over to her side, and nudged Liz, pointing.

Not two feet away, two purple witch souls hovered.

Liz wailed even louder, if that was possible. "I-i-I d-don't w-w-want them!" she returned her face to her younger sister's shirt, and sobbed into Patty's shoulder. "n-n-not if it m-means l-l-losing h-him!"

Patty lived up to her name, and patted her sister on the back for a while. Them she gently grabbed Liz' shoulders, and pushed her lightly so that the sisters were facing each other.

"Liz…" she said quietly. "If you don't eat the souls, Kid's sacrifice will be in vain. He will have died for nothing."

"P-P-Patty…" Liz sobbed, looking at her little sister.

"Be strong, Onee. If not for me… for him." Said Patty, smiling weakly.

Liz looked at her little sister, realizing she was right. If they didn't eat the souls, Kid would have died for nothing.

And so, slowly, Liz reached out and picked up one of the souls. She ate it as Patty ate the other.

And, though incredible power was unleashed within her, though light poured out of her eyes and mouth, she felt nothing but pain. The pain of loss and sorrow.

Slowly, the light around the girls faded, and they fainted into merciful unconsiousness. They didn't feel the huge, white, foam-glove hands which picked them up as delicately as possible and carried them back to soulrealm.


	31. DOD intermission

Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away…

"GAH!"

Obi-wan clutched his head in pain.

"Obi, what's wrong?" asked Luke, walking up.

"I felt something… something strange." Said Obi-wan, not looking at Luke. "It was as though… dozens of angry letters were sent to the author of a certain fanfiction… and went unanswered…

Obi-wan looked at Luke, a grim expression on his face. "I fear something terrible has happened to one of the main characters in the TMAOKLP, Luke."

Luke patted Obi-wan on the back. "Don't worry." He said. "They'll probably bring him back as a ghost or something."

"I pray you're right Luke." Said Obi-wan, staring into the distance. "I pray you're right."

XXXXXXXX

Yes, this technically isn't a chap, I just wanted to do a little something to ease the tension.


	32. death of death pt 4

Liz woke slowly. She sat up in her bed, shaking her head. She'd had the most horrible dream… Kid had died, and-

"Hey, she's awake!"

Liz looked up to see Shinigami-sama standing at the foot of her bed, along with the rest of the gang (Soul, B*S, Maka and Tsubaki.)

"I TOLD you guys I have godly healing powers to those who are just standing around me!" bragged Black*Star.

"Liz, how'd the mission go?" asked Maka.

Liz didn't answer her at first. She didn't want to say the words out loud… if she did, they would definitely be true.

"Where's Patty? Where are we at all?" asked Liz.

"Patty's in the bed right over there." Said Tsubaki, pointing. Sure enough, Patty lay in the nearby bed, a little snooze bubble coming out of her nose.

"As for how you got here, well…" said Lord Death. "…your souls went off the radar for a while when you went into the black castle. Then they suddenly reappeared, and I came to collect you guys. You weren't breathing very much, so I took you to the hospital, where we are now."

"Where's Kid?" asked Soul. "He wasn't with you guys when Shinigami-sama found you…"

Liz felt tears well in her eyes. If he hadn't been with them… then…

"HE'S GONE!" Liz screamed, startling everybody. Patty stayed asleep, she could sleep through a train wreck.

"What?" asked Maka. "What do you mean gone?"

"by gone, I mean GONE! GONE GONE GONE!" Liz wailed.

"No…" everyone whispered as Liz wept.

"My son… is…" said Lord Death quietly.

"Yes…" whispered Liz.

Lord Death's mask was expressionless, but it was obvious what he was feeling. "I… I need some time to compose myself." He said slowly, walking out the door.

"Liz…" asked Tsubaki, coming closer. "How did it happen… if you don't mind me asking…"

Liz sobbed. "He sacrificed himself… to save us…"

Liz picked up her pillow and buried her face in it. She heard the others whispering and muttering. She didn't care.

Xxxxxxxx

The next month was the hardest for Liz since Kid went missing; supposedly dead, actually kidnapped. Every night she cried herself to sleep. Every day she walked around listlessly, rarely speaking or eating. No longer caring about her appearance, her hair grew disheveled, and bags appeared under her bloodshot eyes from crying. She didn't go to school anymore. Stein understood; he knew how it felt to lose a loved one.

Patty comforted her whenever she could, hugging her and crooning into her ear, but even she couldn't pull Liz out of the deep pit of depression.

Liz spent her time sitting in her room, staring at pictures of him, wishing that she was the one sacrificed instead of him.

She refused to go through the ceremony to become an official death scythe. Kishins, witches… it all felt meaningless now. Patty also refused the process to become a death scythe, though it was because she refused to do it without her sister. Kid would have wanted them to do it together.

Liz overheard, from snatches of conversations Patty had on the phone, that everyone was planning a grand funeral for Kid. Liz didn't want to go, she didn't want to re-ignite the pain, but Patty absolutely insisted her sister go. Patty would drag Liz kicking and screaming to the church if she had to.

The night before the funeral, Liz was crying the hardest yet. Patty crept into her bed, and stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. "It's ok… it's ok…" said Patty.

Little did they know, on the other end of the mansion, a burgalary was taking place.


	33. death of death pt 5

The day had come.

Liz still sobbed, even as she and Patty rode in a black limousine to the funeral. They both wore matching black dresses, something they would know Kid would have appreciated.

"Onee… try and be strong once we get there, ok?" said Patty, squeezing her sister's shoulder.

Liz sniffled. "Ok…" she said quietly.

After a little while, the limousine finally reached the church where the funeral was taking place. It wasn't a very fancy church; just a simple cathedral with a cross on its single spire. The death insignia loomed over Liz and Patty as they slowly walked up the steps and through the glass door.

Inside, there were two columns of eight wooden pews. Patty had arranged things so they were exactly symmetrical; she knew that was what Kid would have wanted. Even the casket was arranged so the body would be symmetrical, with the flowers surrounding it also arranged perfectly symmetrical. The casket was empty, of course.

Liz walked down the aisle, determined not to cry. As she reached the front of the church, she saw Soul, Tsubaki and Black*Star standing there.

"Where's Maka? She's usually the punctual type…" whispered Liz as she and Patty took their places in the extra-fancy seats at the very front end of the cathedral. From there they could see every seat in the house.

"I don't know. She just said that she had something to take care of, and would be here later." Said Soul quietly.

As Liz looked at all the people gathering in the seats, she noticed a rather small balcony, with stairs leading up to it. In the best seat in the house sat Shinigami-sama.

"That's a bit weird…" thought Liz. "Normally Lord Death would be happily greeting everybody." Then she remembered where she was, and she bit her lip as tears welled up in her eyes.

Everyone took their seats, and patiently waited for the procession to start. Then Justin Law came out, wearing his headphones as usual, and stood in front of the podium, which was right behind Kid's casket. "Thank you all for coming to Kid's funeral." He said, a bit loudly. "before we begin the last rites, let us have the euologies, from Kid's friends."

One by one, the five who were at the head of the cathedral stood up and did their speeches at the podium.. Here are a few excerpts.

"He was the second-coolest guy I ever damn met…" said Soul, sobbing. "Way to go, man. You're the most badass dude ever."

"Even a god's friends can die." Said Black*Star, unusually sober. "I'm… I'm gonna miss him. A lot."

"He was funny, smart, brave… It's a terrible loss to the whole world that he's gone." blubbered Tsubaki. "We're all going to miss him. He was… a great guy…"

Patty, of course, never took things seriously, and tried to cheer up "all the sad people" by doing sing-alongs, and telling jokes. Of course, nobody was in the mood for her humor, so, failing to get smiles like she always did, went back to her seat, confused at why everyone was so negative.

Liz went last. She slowly walked to the marble podium, not making eye contact with anyone in the church.

"I… I kind of took him for granted." She began, looking at the casket. "I never honestly thought… he was going to… to…" tears began to flow down her cheeks. "As long as it doesn't matter anymore… he can't hear me anyways…" Liz stepped in front of the podium, and placed her hand on the casket.

"I always loved you Kid."

There was a quiet gasp from the crowd. Liz looked up, suddenly enraged. "what, you think I'm not good enough for him? You think he deserved some prissy little princess who has a rich daddy? You think- you think he wouldn't love me back?" she stepped back around the podium, not taking her eyes off the audience.

"Well, you know what? You're right. Your ####ing right. I'm NOT good enough for him. He's the ####ing son of the grim reaper, and I'm just some mangy street rat from the alleys of Brooklyn.

"And you're right, he does deserve some princess in a fancy castle, rather then a filthy, mangy whore like me who hasn't made an honest buck in her life!"

The words were pouring out of Liz now, as well as the tears.

"And you're right, he WOULDN'T love me back? Who the hell WOULD? Who would love… THIS?" she gestured to her entire body.

"So you're right. It was never going to happen, even if he WAS alive. It's just…" Liz' rage faded, replaced with sadness once more.

"Is it really too much… for a girl to dream?"

Liz buried her face in her hands, and slowly walked back to her seat.

As she sat down and pulled her face back out of her hands, she saw a gleam of light from the dark balcony. She looked up, and was shocked.

Shinigami-sama was crying.

A single, sparkling tear rolled from his eye socket down his mask.

Liz was shocked. Had her speech really been THAT moving, even to the ever-positive shinigami-sama?

"Well, if that's the end of the euologies, then we'll move on…" said Justin law, returning to the podium. "Unless…" he looked to the balcony. "Shinigami-sama, do you want to say a few words?"

Lord Death stared at Justin, not saying a word. He slowly shook his head.

"No, huh?" said Justin. "That's ok. It's understandable. Well, I suppose we'll move on to the rites." He spread his hands over the empty casket. "As we commend your soul to-"

He was interrupted by a ridiculously loud sound of screeching tires. He paused, and looked to the door of the church, wondering what all the racket was. Everyone else looked there, too.

Maka burst through the doors. "Hey, everyone! Really sorry we're late!" she panted.

"We?" said everybody simultaneously.

"howdy howdy howdy!" came a bubbly voice from behind Maka. As the figure appeared, the crowd gasped.

"Shinigami-sama?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" said Lord Death, who had, sure enough, just burst through the doors behind maka.

The crowd looked at the Lord Death who had followed Maka.

Then at the one in the balcony.

Then back to the ground level one.

Then to the balcony.

Then to the floor once more.

What was going on here?

"Really sorry I'm late!" said Shinigami-sama. "A certain SOMEBODY (he subtly pointed a huge finger at Maka, then withdrew it) offered to drive me here, but if I didn't know better, I'd SWEAR that she was taking every possible wrong turn!"

"I said I was sorry." said Maka.

"Well what're we waiting for? Let's get this party STARTED! WOOHOO!" cried Lord Death as he headed to the front of the church, Maka following.

"Shinigami-sama…" said Justin Law, staring at him. "H-how can you be so happy at your own SON'S funeral?"

"Oh no, I'm not happy, I'm sad. Downright miserable." Said Shinigami-sama, not losing that bouncy voice. "That doesn't mean I can't ACT happy, though, now does it?"

"…well, I suppose that's a decent reason to believe you."

"Believe me how?" asked Lord Death, tilting his head.

"Believe that you're the real Shinigami-sama, and not that guy up there." Justin Law pointed to the other Lord Death, who had simply stood in the balcony the entire while, not making any attempt whatsoever to escape.

Shinigami-sama turned and looked up, and saw for the first time his doppelganger. "IMPOSTOR!" he cried, his eyes narrowing. He flew up to the balcony, and stood nose to nose with his twin. "Who DARES-" then he froze. The new Lord Death stared at the old Lord Death. Everyone waited with baited breath, to see what would happen next.

Nobody expected what actually DID happen.

Lord Death squealed with joy, and hugged his clone who had been in the balcony. "I can't believe it's YOU!" he said happily, hugging him tightly.

"Um… Lord Death…" said Liz, standing up. "can we have some explanation here?"

The Shinigami-sama who had came in with Maka looked at Liz, then looked back at his double. Then he gestured to the audience, and stood back as the balcony-Shinigami-sama turned to face the crowd.

Slowly, a foam-glove hand rose from the cloak of the impostor.

Excruciatingly slowly, it began to remove the mask it wore.

And, as the mask fell to the creature's feet, the crowd gasped loudly and dramatically.

Liz was the most stunned of all, staring at the figure's newly revealed face. She whispered...

"Kid?"

(dramatic pause)

Yes, it WAS Death the Kid who resided behind that mask!

And yet, it was not.

For one, this new Kid was far taller then the old Kid which Liz remembered. Another reason was, his face seemed somehow… older.

Kid leapt down from the balcony, landing perfectly on the floor. Slowly, he walked down the aisle, past the astonished audience, to the place where his friends sat.

He walked until he was only a few feet from Liz.

"Is it really you?" asked Liz quietly.

KId outstretched his hands wide.

"Hey." He said in a voice which was deeper and older, and yet definitely that of Death the Kid.

"KIIIIDDDD!"

Liz almost flew into Kid's arms, sobbing with sheer happiness.

"I can't believe it!" she cried into his shoulder. "I saw you die! How… how did you…"

"I'll tell you later." Said Kid, smiling and hugging Liz.

Then, it was as though a freeze-frame went back into motion. The audience stood and clapped, and cheered, and cried, for the sudden return of Kid. Patty leapt out of her seat and made a running tackle on Kid and Liz, almost knocking them over. The other members of the team ran over and joined the group hug, with Shinigami-sama finishing it off.

Slowly, gracefully, as everyone cheered around them, the 8 went out the door, Kid and Liz leading the way, hand in hand.


	34. How'd he do it?

Lol, some people honestly thought I was going to kill off Kid! C'mon, people, who wants that? Honestly, have a little more faith in your overlord.

Anyways, Kid did survive, but HOW did he survive? Let's tune in and find out.

XXXXXXXX

"I still just can't belive you're back." Said Patty, staring at Kid.

"Thanks… I guess." Said Kid, mussing Patty's hair.

It was a few hours after the funeral's unexpected ending. Everyone sat in the huge living room of gallows manor, Shinigami-sama included, sipping coffee, tea, and (in Patty's case) hot chocolate.

Kid had returned to his regular black jacket and pants. Something was definitely off, though. The outfit which looked almost too big for Kid now was signifigantly too small for him. It rode up his arms, legs and waist quite a bit, exposing so much pale skin, it was almost comical. Lord Death had promised to get him some new clothes right away.

The outfit had not shrunk in the washer, though. Kid had grown over a foot and a half while he was away, so that he was taller then even Liz! His once toothpick-like limbs had grown quite a bit more muscular, and his face… it wasn't quite as smooth and flawless anymore.

"So, c'mon, man, tell us!" said Black*Star.

"Yeah, Kid, how'd you escape from your dad's clutches?" asked Liz. She was far more perky now that her hero had returned.

"Well, It's a surprisingly short tale, as a matter of fact." Said Kid, clearing his throat.

"Kid complained that 'Moby Dick' was too short." Whispered Patty to the rest.

"You see," began Kid. "the split-second after I tossed Liz and Patty through the emergency escape portal, a shockwave of pure, devastating force tore from the blade, tearing apart the very stone walls of the castle. The warlock and I were completely obliterated.

"I honestly can't describe the amount of pain I felt…" said Kid, clenching his mug. "I could literally feel it tearing me apart. Atom. By. Atom."

CRACK!

As Kid said the last word, his tightening grip actually cracked the mug. Though there was no mess, he set it down anyways. "Guess I don't know my own strength." He said sheepishly, smiling.

"Anyways, I honestly thought I was going to die. But… I didn't." Kid shook his head, as though trying to remember.

"Obviously." Said Soul.

"Really, I have no idea HOW I survived. All I remember was that I kept thinking to myself, 'I will survive.' Those three words. Repeating them endlessly in my nonexistent head.

"I had to quite literally pull myself together. Reattatching my own atoms to each other. Do you have ANY idea how hard that is? No, you don't. I garuntee it."

"Is it as hard as Shao Kahn on mortal difficulty?" asked Black*Star.

"Hey, now, let's not get carried away." Said Kid, raising his hands.

"Well, as you know, it took me almost a month of painful, agonizing, nonstop to finish reconstructing myself. I was able to do it eventually, but… there was a price."

Kid looked at the back of his hand, his expression almost sad. "To pull myself together, I had to sacrifice a chunk of my life energy. I am now fifty years older."

"Fifty YEARS?" exclaimed Liz. Patty did an adorable little spit-take.

"Yes, but remember, in reaper years, that's only five years." Kid said, smiling weakly.

"Well, that's a little better… but still…" said Liz, staring at the man named Kid. "You're 20 years old now?" she questioned.

"Closer to 20 and a half, to be honest." Said Kid.

"Anyways, I was going to rush to the manor and immediately reveal myself, but I always did have a flair for the dramatic, so I thought I'd do it with a bit more style.

"I overheard from somebody that my funeral was being planned at a certain church. I came up with a magnificent idea, if I do say so myself.

"I snuck into Gallows Manor the night before the funeral, and pulled out one of my cloaks of darkness and a death mask."

"Those are what you used to trick us into thinking you were Shinigami-sama…" said Liz quietly.

"Correct!" said Kid, smiling. "Of course, my plan hit a bit of a bump. Maka, if you will."

"Right, Kid." Said Maka as all the heads turned towards her. "Confession time, guys: I knew Kid had resurrected the second he entered death city. He has a very distinct soul signature."

"And you didn't CALL us?" Liz said, furious.

"Calm down, Liz. I sought Kid out, and he directly requested that you guys not be told. If you were, his plan would be ruined."

"That's the truth." Vouched Kid.

"Kid requested for me to sabatoge Lord Death's ride, and then take him on a wild goose chase for a while, until the right moment."

"So THAT'S what happened to my hubcaps!" said Shinigami-sama indignantly.

"Sorry." said Maka sheepishly.

"You can probably guess what happened from there." Kid continued. "Right before the funeral, I donned my little disguise, and snuck into the cathedral, staying in the balcony so nobody would notice my behavior and become suspicious."

"I THOUGHT 'Shinigami-sama' was acting grim!" mentioned Tsubaki.

"Yes, well, if I spoke, people would probably recognize my voice, so I was careful to avoid conversation." Said Kid.

"So I guess you all know what happened from there on out." Said Kid. "And may I just say, Restraining myself from leaping down there and revealing myself early during your euologies was almost as hard as pulling my atoms together. Especially yours, Liz." Kid looked at Liz, who blushed.

"Did you really mean all that, or was it just spur-of-the-moment?" Kid questioned her.

Liz stared at him. "Of course I meant it! Why would I say all that otherwise?"

"Just thought I'd check. Otherwise this next bit would look pretty stupid." Said Kid, suddenly becoming very focused on his knees.

"What would look stupid?" asked Liz. For some reason, her heart began to beat faster.

"I just thought… well… thought I'd ask…" Kid stuttered, then he shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "I'm blowing it, I'm blowing it! Aargh!"

"C'mon, Kid. You can do it." Said Liz, leaning towards him.

"Ok, I'm just going to come all out and say it. Please don't hurt me, but…" Kid looked Liz in the eyes.

"Liz, will you be my girlfriend?"

Liz stared at him, and slowly set down her teacup. Kid began to sweat.

"I mean… with all that stuff you said… I thought…" Kid stuttered. "With my new age… before, you were too old for me… but now… I just thought-"

Kid's babbling was cut off as Liz leapt at him and kissed him passionately. He was startled, then his eyes drooped closed, and he melted into her as she melted into him. Eventually, she pulled back, smiling, and Kid thought she looked more beautiful then ever.

"I take that as a yes, then?" he questioned. Liz chuckled.

The other occupants of the room cheered. "You go, man!" called Black*Star. "Way to go, sis!" yelled Patty, clapping vigorously.

Then, reluctantly, Liz peeled herself away from Kid, and sat back down in her original chair. As everyone else continued to talk, the duo's eyes remained locked.

One thing was for sure: things would never be the same in gallows manor.

But maybe that wasn't such a bad thing.

XXXXXXXX

And that's the end of "death of death"! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I was wondering: should I continue this story, or should I continue the storyline in a separate story? Cuz this one's 34 chaps already, and if I continue it, it'll be growing… Whatever you guys demand! Review plz! (If you decide that you want a second story, I'll edit and update with its title.)


	35. Celebration Time

"Kid… I'm nervous…" said Liz as the trio walked down the hall. Liz and Patty wore casual clothes, and Kid wore his usual suit jacket.

"Relax, Liz. You're going to be fine." Kid replied, smiling and clapping her on the back.

"But what if I screw up? What if something goes wrong? What if-"

"Liz, you quite literally CAN'T screw up. You just walk in there with Patty and me, Shinigami-sama performs the ceremony, then we all go out for cake and ice cream at the reception hall. All you have to do is stand there and enjoy the moment."

"Yayyy ice cream!" cheered Patty as she skipped alongside the others.

"Ok you guys, you ready?" said Kid as he pulled to a stop outside of the door leading to the death room.

"Lets rock!" said Patty.

"As I'll ever be." Said Liz.

Kid pushed open the doors to the death room, and they walked down the guillotine hall. Liz remembered the first time she ever traveled down this hall. How things had changed since then…

Kid, Liz and Patty walked out into the main death room. All their friends and teachers were there, cheering and clapping. On the pedestal was Lord Death, waiting patiently.

The trio walked up the stairs, and stood in front of Shinigami-sama.

"Elizabeth and Patricia Thompson… For your excellent work in collecting 198 Kishin souls and 2 witch souls…" he said dramatically.

"I promote the both of you to the title of head death scythes!"

Liz felt tears well up in her eyes. Over a year's work had gone into this moment. She hugged Patty, who hugged her back.

The spectators cheered deafeningly, but Kid cheered and clapped loudest of all for his two weapons.

"Congratulations!" said Lord Death, dropping the formal attitude. "Let's go eat sugary goodness till we puke!"

"WOOHOO!" screamed Patty, leading the crowd as everyone made their way to the reception hall.

Xxxxxxxx

The celebration took place in a huge hall, not far from the DWMA. Out front, above the doors, was a huge sign which read "CONGRATULATIONS LIZ AND PATTY!" There were balloons surrounding it, the largest containing the girls' faces.

"Man, they really went all out, didn't they?" said Liz as she and her team walked up to the doors of the hall.

"Hey, it's your party, isn't it? I made sure that it would all be perfect, just for you guys." Said Kid, an arm wrapped around each of his weapons' shoulders.

That worried Liz a twitch. "If Kid says that something's perfect, then if anything's wrong at all, he goes nuclear." She thought to herself.

All negative thought were wiped from her mind, though, once they got inside.

There were banners everywhere, which read "congratulations". A huge dance floor took up the entire lower level, with an upper balcony for those who wanted to just watch and relax. A large stage was at the front of the room, complete with mike, drum set, all that good stuff. A enormous cake shaped like the shinigami insignia, which must have been five feet wide, twelve feet tall, and was 3 inches thick, was on a huge table to the side, surrounded by ice cream of every flavor, and all of the girls' favorite food. So many balloons covered the ceiling that Liz couldn't see the actual ceiling.

As everyone poured into the huge hall, Kid noticed something. "What's Patty up to?" he asked.

Patty was standing in front of the gargantuan cake, glaring at it. "What're you looking at? Eh? WHAT'RE YOU LOOKIN' AT?" she yelled at the delicious death-head.

"You're not the only one with a flair for the dramatic, Kid." Liz said. "When there's a party, Patty always gets into a hour-long argument with the cake, which culminates with her gobbling down the entire thing."

"Good thing I made a few spares." Said Kid.

Liz stared at him. "you made MULTIPLE monstrously huge cakes?"

"eight, including the one that's out right now." Kid said, smiling.

"I should have guessed." Said Liz, rolling her eyes.

Xxxxxxxx

It was the best party EVER.

Soul, Black*Star, Maka and Tsubaki, as it turned out, were adept musicians, with Soul on guitar, B*S on base, Tsubaki on drums, and Maka on vocals. They rocked so damn hard, it could be heard for blocks.

Liz danced so much, her legs went numb for a few minutes. ("Want me to rub 'em?" "shut up, Kid, you cute little pervert.")

Liz and Patty got a small mountain of presents from all their friends, which contained all sorts of goodies.

True to Liz' prediction, Patty argued with the cake for an hour. Nobody dared take a piece, for when they tried, she yelled, "stay out of this! It's between me and him!" Then, at the end of her rant, she yelled, "THAT'S IT! YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN, DOUGHBOY!" and she leapt on it and devoured the entire thing.

Kid brought out another cake, but Patty wasn't done yet. "Oh, you brought FRIENDS, eh, ya frosting-covered freak?" she cried as she leapt on the second cake.

In the end, Patty somehow managed to eat 4 of the massive cakes. She actually did puke after the third one, but that didn't stop her from devouring the fourth one, if a little more slowly then the other three. Liz suspected she would have eaten a fifth, but by then she was completely immobile, bloated beyond belief with sugary goodness. ("Don't worry, she had a ridiculously fast metabolism" Liz whispered to a worried Kid.) "This… hic!... isn't… over…" Patty growled weakly at the fifth cake Kid brought out. Then she fell into a cake-coma.

But the best part of the night came almost at the end of the party, when guests were just beginning to leave.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz sat at a table on the balcony, sipping a martini. She sighed. She had enjoyed the party, she really had, but all the lights, the noise… it was starting to give her a headache.

"Liz?"

Kid had walked up to her. He had been downstairs most of the night, desparately trying to keep the floor free of trash and confetti, but apparently he had finally given up.

"As long as we're boyfriend and girlfriend now…" he said as he held out his hand.

"May I have this dance?"

Liz looked at him. Even with frosting and trash covering his uniform and his hair all messed up from the flurry of people, his now older face still looked gorgeous.

"I don't know how to dance…" said Liz. "You don't exactly get in many ballrooms when you're a thug on the streets…" she chuckled weakly.

Kid gently placed his hand on hers. "I'll teach you. It's real easy." He said, smiling.

"…oh, what the hell." Said Liz, taking his hand in hers. They walked to the dance floor, where a slow, romantic song had began to play. (Yes, Kid bribed the singers to play it.)

They slowly took each others' hands. "You just make your feet go like this…" he made a few simple steps, and Liz copied him. "See? You're a natural!" Kid chuckled as the two circled around each other slowly.

"Now we slowly pull closer together…" Kid said quietly as he pressed his body against Liz', gently, ever so gently. "And you put your chin here…" he lightly guided her head so her chin rested on his shoulder. She blushed, feeling his body against hers. "And I put my hand here…" Liz gasped.

"You slip it any lower then that, and you'll be pulling one of my high heels out of your $$, mister." She growled playfully.

"Promises, promises." Kid chuckled as the two swirled around each other slowly.

It just felt so right to Liz. The music was right. The lighting was right. And the feeling as he brushed against her… oh, that was very, VERY right.

And, as the band began to wrap up and Patty snored quietly, frosting smearing her lips, Liz didn't mind if the party lasted for the rest of time itself.


	36. First date pt 1

Yeah, decided I really didn't like last version of this chap, so I did a COMPLETE overhaul. Hope you like.

XXXXXXXX

"Kid?"

The aforementioned looked up from his book to see Liz slowly walk into his office.

"Hello, Elizabeth. Do you require something?" he asked, looking back to his work.

"Kid, I'm just going to come out and say this." said Liz, crossing her arms.

"We've supposedly been boyfriend and girlfriend for a week now. When are we going to go on a date?"

Kid stared at her, then he sip of coffee, and did a spit take. "I beg your pardon?" he asked as he wiped his lips.

"You heard me." Said Liz grouchily. "I'm tired of waiting for you to make the first move. When are we going to go on a freaking date, already?"

"U-um…" stuttered Kid, tugging his collar. "I… I…"

"Dammit Kid! We are going on a date TONIGHT!" Liz cried, stomping her foot.

"Ok, ok, fine… you know what? Let's do it right now." Kid stood up and walked out the door. Liz was stunned at this sudden compliance, but followed.

"So, where is it?" asked Kid casually.

"Where's what?"

"Where is the date located."

"Say what?" asked Liz.

"Well, I assumed a 'date' is a train or ride or something of the sort, I was merely wondering where the particular date you were going to ride on was- ohhh… It's not a train, is it?" Kid elbowed Liz. "A 'date' is some sort of intercourse position, isn't it? How's it work? Who's on-"

"KID!" Liz cried, blushing furiously. "A date isn't EITHER of those things!"

"Then what is it?" asked Kid, stopping in the middle of the hall, looking at Liz.

"It's… you know… where a boyfriend and a girlfriend go out together… all alone… have dinner… go to a movie… all that stuff." Said Liz, not that sure how to describe a date.

"…Never heard of it." Kid replied.

Liz smiled. "You're so cute when you don't know about social stuff." She pecked him on the lips, and he blushed. "Just meet me by the door at 8:00, ok?" she said, smiling.

"Umm… ok…" said Kid.

"Ka-chew!"

"bless you." Said Liz and Kid to each other. Then they looked at each other.

"Didn't you sneeze?" asked Liz.

"I thought YOU did." Replied Kid.

The duo looked around, but they saw nobody else near them…

With the exception of a small closet. Kid threw open the door, and there was little Patty, playing with two of her stuffed giraffes.

"Patricia! W-what are you doing there?" asked Kid, trying to remain cool. He had a feeling that if Patty found out about the date, it wouldn't be good.

"Eh, scruffles and geoffry were just exploring the cave of darkness together." Patty replied, smiling.

"Oh, well that's cute." Said Liz, relieved that Patty hadn't overheard anything.

"So…" said Patty, continuing. "What's this about a date?"

Kid and Liz groaned together. "None of your beeswax." Liz replied.

"I wanna go too!" said Patty, pouting.

"NO. this is me and Kid's special alone time." Said Liz sternly.

"c'mon, please?"

"no."

"pleeeeeease?"

"no!"

"pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"NO, Patty!"

"Bawww…" Patty slunk away, dejected.

"Will she be alright?" whispered Kid.

"Trust me, Kid. I know what goes on in Patty's head. She's just pretending to gain your sympathy." Liz patted Kid on the back reassuringly.

"Ok. Well… I'll see you at 8 then." Kid continued.

Liz smiled, and strode off down the hall. Life was good.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz stood by the door. She sighed and checked her watch. 7:58. if that moron wasn't here in two minutes…

Liz wore a blue tee and some jeans. Just a simple, casual outfit. Her black, expensive purse hung from her shoulder.

Then, the split second her watch said 8, there was a SLAM as Kid strode into the antechamber. Liz saw him hastily cover up one of his watches, and guessed that he had been waiting until EXACTLY eight o' clock to arrive. She sighed. He could be so damn adorable sometimes.

"Ready to go, I take it?" said Kid.

"Yeah, I – oh, shoot!" Liz said, glancing into her purse. "I'm sorry Kid, I forgot a couple tubes of lipstick. Be a dear and wait in the car for me, will you?"

"Ok, I suppose." Kid replied, smiling. "Don't take too long, ok?"

"Heaven forbid." Liz replied. Then she hugged him, putting her ear to his chest, hearing his heartbeat. "You're so sweet." She ran upstairs as Kid stood still, trying to get his muscles to move again.

When Kid got through his shock, he headed out to his sleek black sports car, which was in his driveway. He unlocked it, and got inside.

"I can't wait for this date thing." He said out loud to himself as he shut the door behind him. "Finally, Liz and I are going to be all alone together. Just her and me."

"And Patty makes three." Came a voice from the backseat.

Kid's head whipped around, looking over the shoulder of the leather seat. Sure enough, Patty sat in the middle of the back seat of the car, One of her stuffed giraffes in one hand, a milkshake in the other. She sipped it innocently as she stared at Kid with huge blue eyes.

"P-p-patricia! I told you, you are not coming with us!" Kid cried.

"Aww, but it'll be fun to watch you and sis make love to each other!" Patty whined.

"Patricia, get back in the house. You come out with us every other occasion, let us have this one to ourselves."

"No. dun wanna." Patty pouted. She gave him her best pouty face: huge, teary bambi eyes and a cute little quivering lip. Fortunately, Kid had developed immunity to her pouts long ago.

"Patricia, you are NOT coming with us." Kid said firmly, growing impatient.

Patty sighed. "I didn't want to resort to this, but you forced me to, Kid."

From under her shirt, she produced a six-pack of dynamite, yes DYNAMITE, with long white fuses trailing from the ends. From her pocket she pulled out a cigarette lighter.

"Either I come with you guys, Or I send us all to the promised land!" Patty cried, grinning madly, flicking the lighter open.

Kid looked shocked for a second, then his face relaxed. "Patricia, that is merely a six-pack of hot dogs with string taped to each of them." He said, smiling an almost relieved smile.

Patty leaned closer to him. "Are you suuurrre?"

"Yes."

"reeeeeallly suuurrre?"

"Positive."

Patty lost the crazy grin, and looked a bit ruffled. "How can you be so positive?" she questioned.

"Well, for starters," said Kid, pointing, "You forgot to take off the 'oscar mayer weiner' label."

Patty looked and, sure enough, the incriminating label winked accusingly from the lights drifting from the manor. She muttered a curse, then came up with an idea. She quickly pulled off the label, discarding it. "ha-HA! NOW it's dynamite!" she cried, the grin returning.

Kid facepalmed. "Patty, last chance. Get out of the damn car."

"Never!" Patty cried.

"What if uncle Benjamin told you to get out of the car."

Patty's eyes widened. "See, him I'd listen to!" said Patty, smiling.

Kid sighed, reached into his wallet, and pulled out a hundred-dollar bill. "Patty, get back in the house right now, little missy!" Kid said in a silly high-pitched voice, pretending to make the picture of Benjamin Franklin on the bill talk.

Patty giggled and snatched the bill. "Ok, Uncle Benjamin!" she said as she snatched the bill and hopped out of the car. Kid watched her pass Liz on the walkway back to the door. Liz stared after her for a moment before climbing into shotgun.

"Thanks for waiting, babe." Liz said, pecking Kid on the cheek. "What was with Patty?" she jerked her thumb at the door of the manor, which Patty had just scampered through.

"Long story." Replied Kid, starting the car. "By the way, I'm going to need to swing by the bank on the way to the restaurant. I just gave half our date money to Patty."

Liz chuckled as the car sped off into the night.


	37. First date pt 2

"Kid, when are you going to uncover my eyes?"

"Right about… now!"

The blackness lifted from Liz' vision, and she saw a incredibly fancy French restaurant.

"You managed to get reservations at 'Mon Canard Est En Feu'? Kid, this is the fanciest restaurant in Death City!" gushed Liz.

"Well, I didn't really get a reservation, but all the booths at Mcdonalds were taken…" joked Kid. Liz threw her arms around him. "You're so SWEET!" she cried as she grabbed his hand and practically dragged him into the restaurant.

Inside, the waiting room was packed. "Aw, it's gonna take until dawn to get a table!" Liz moaned.

"Relax, Liz. Watch this." Kid strolled over to the receptionist, who was scribbling something down, and tapped him on the shoulder. The man looked up impatiently, glaring, but his glare turned into a slack-jawed expression of terror at the sight of Death's son. Immidiately, he forced a phony smile to his face, and gestured to the room of tables.

Kid and Liz followed the waiter past packed tables. He led them to a untaken booth, but before they sat down, Liz noticed him quickly whisk away a "reserved" sign. Apparently somebody wasn't getting their table tonight.

As the waiter scurried away, Liz relaxed in the cushy seat. Kid, of course, kept his posture flawless as he picked up his menu and perused it.

"So," said Kid, staring at the menu. "What would you like? They have lobster, caviar, endangered bird eggs…"

"What, we aren't going to make conversation first?" asked Liz, raising an eyebrow.

Kid looked up at her. "Um…" he thought for a second, before saying, "You look nice tonight."

"Aw, thanks! You look good, too!" Liz replied, smiling.

Kid was silent for another few seconds, before shrugging and saying, "That's my entire repertoire of conversation starters. I could ask you about the weather, but I have a feeling that that isn't a wise decision."

Liz laughed. "It's ok, Kid. I know you don't get out much." She said gently.

"So, um… what do YOU want to talk about?" asked Kid politely.

"Ooh, that's a toughie!" said Liz, putting a finger to her chin. "Well, there's this new lipstick from glamour girl which just came out, and it's supposed to make your lips garunteed match your eyes. Then there's this mascara which…"

xxxxxxxx

15 minutes later…

"Oh, and so Stacy says, 'oh no you di-int!', and Marie says, 'Oh yes I di-id!'" Liz continued to yammer on as Kid watched and listened politely, his head resting on his fists. This was only a shell, though. Inside his brain, he was banging his head on a wall from sheer boredom.

"Is monsieur ready to order?" asked a waiter, coming over to them.

"Um, yes, I'll have a bourbon '79 red wine, please." Said Kid.

"And mamousielle…" asked the waiter, turning to Liz.

"And Britney's like, 'she didn't!' and Michelle's like, 'she did, I swear!'" Liz continued to yammer, oblivious to the waiter.

"She'll have a lemonade." Said Kid, reciting Liz' favorite drink. "Oh, and if you will, waiter… be a good man and flavor my drink with a large dose of cyanide, will you?"

"Fresh out, monsieur."

"aw, $#it."

Xxxxxxxx

Another 40 minutes later…

"And so I decided to get the blue dress, not the red one! Isn't that CRAZY?" laughed Liz.

"It sure is, Liz!" replied Kid, laughing as well, even though he had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

"I know, right! And so – aw, geez." Liz cut herself off and put a hand on her stomach. "Kid, I've got to go powder my nose, if you don't mind."

"Why? You look absolutely beautiful just the way you are!" said Kid, smiling obliviously.

"Ok, first, I'm flattered. Second, 'powder my nose' is girl code for 'I need to poop really bad.' Just for future reference." Said Liz quickly.

"Ah, well why didn't you say so? Go right ahead!" said Kid. Liz scurried off, and Kid sighed. He missed her already.

"Here-a is-a your-a food-a! guten tach!" said a ridiculously accented voice as Liz's and Kid's food was set on the table. Liz had buttered lobster. Kid had roast duck.

"Thanks, I-" said Kid, turning to the waiter, then he froze. His eye twitched.

The waiter may have worn the same outfit as the rest, and had a hat and a big poofy white moustache, but there was no disguising that bouncy blonde hair, or those big blue eyes.

"PATRICIA!" Kid nearly screamed. "How did you- what are you-"

"Who eez thees Patreecia?" said Patty in a heavy French accent, looking around. "I am not of seeing zee Patreecia!" said Patty, turning back to Kid and shrugging.

"Oh really?" asked Kid, amused at this little charade. "See, I'm not really buying it, because before you spoke in a German accent, and now you speak with a French one.

"Crikey, you're a perceptive one, aint'cha?" said Patty. "I just so happen to come from exactly between the two, mate!"

"Mmm-hmm." Said Kid, his head on one fist. "See, now it's Australian, Patricia. Pick one and stick with it."

"Arr, but they all be so fun to speak in, matey!" said Patty. She began to sing "A pirate's life for me", but stopped when Kid reached out and plucked off her moustache. "Hey, gimme that back!" said Patty in her regular voice, reaching for the moustache.

"Dammit, Patty, how'd you even get here at all?" asked Kid as he put the moustache in his pocket, pulled a pen out, and began to scribble something on his napkin.

"Rule of funny." Replied Patty brightly.

"Rule of… what?" asked Kid as he finished scribbling and placed the written-on napkin in front of Liz' place. "That's it, I'm driving you home."

Kid then stood up and grabbed Patty's ear. He proceeded to drag her out the door. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" griped Patty as she was dragged out the door.

Not a minute later, Liz had returned from the bathroom. "That's much better." She whispered to herself as she sat down. Then she looked around, and said out loud, "Hey, where's Kid?" Then she looked down and saw the napkin.

"Hey, Liz" it read.

"I believe I forgot to fold one of the toilet paper rolls at home. I'll be back in a few minutes. Thanks for understanding. Love, Kid."

Liz sighed as she pulled over her lobster and began to crack it open. "At least he restrained himself until I went to the bathroom." She thought to herself as she took a bite of lobster.


	38. First date pt 3

warning: boobies.

XXXXXXXX

"All right, the movie theater!" Liz cheered as the duo walked through the cinema doors. "Lets see 'a night in paris'! no, 'my first true love'! no-"

"I already picked out a movie I think you'll like, Liz." Said Kid as he handed a pair of tickets to the staff member.

"Oh great." Liz muttered, rolling her eyes. Boy movies always sucked. He probably picked "the avengers" or something stupid.

"Trust me Liz, you're going to love it. Want some candy?" Kid said, walking up to the snack counter.

After getting some popcorn and snacks, the two walked into the hallway which led to the various theaters.

To Liz' surprise, they actually passed by "the avengers", and all the boy movies one would expect. For a second she was filled with hope, but then they rounded a corner, and Liz' jaw dropped as she saw Kid's objective.

"Mortal Kombat 9: The Movie?" she cried.

"I know, right!" said Kid, mistaking her exasperation for excitement. "C'mon, lets get seats-"

"What? No! Kid, this is the polar opposite of a romantic movie!" Liz yelled at him.

"Liz, give it a chance! You're going to love it!" Kid tried to persuade her.

"No way in HELL, kid!" growled Liz.

Kid sighed. "Tell you what: the movie's divided into chapters. If you don't like it by the end of the first chapter, we'll leave and watch whatever movie YOU wish."

"…I guess that's fair." Grumbled Liz. Not giving her time to change her mind, Kid practically dragged her into the theater.

"I've been waiting months for this!" he whispered excitedly as the duo took their seats.

Liz rolled her eyes. "I am leaving the split-second the first chapter is over…" she thought to herself as the words "Mortal Kombat" appeared in a blood-red sky on the screen.

Xxxxxxxx

"huh! Huah! Heh!"

Johnny Cage slammed his fists into Kano's crotch three times. Then, as Kano doubled over in pain, Johnny leapt into the air and as he came down, he RAMMED his elbow into the bent-over Kano's spine.

"Ouch!" whispered Liz to Kid as Kano fell to the ground, wheezing. "For a pretty boy, JC's pretty badass."

"Well, that's the end of chapter one." Whispered Kid back to Liz. "You still wish to leave?"

"What? No! We still need to see if Sonya saves her friend!" Liz replied. "We'll leave right after chapter two." Liz leaned forward as Sonya began to sneak into a dark dungeon.

Kid smirked as he leaned back into his seat. Just as he'd planned it.

Xxxxxxxx

"Holy shit, that movie was epic!" Liz cheered as the meister and weapon walked out of the theater.

"See, I told you you'd like it!" said Kid happily.

"I know, right! It had such a deep and entertaining storyline! Amazing!" Liz said. "Kid, you HAVE to teach me to play mortal kombat sometime."

"I'll see what I can do." Kid replied as he used a button on his keys to unlock the car.

"Um, hey, Kid… can I drive us home?" asked Liz.

Kid looked at her, surprised. Liz never drove if she could help it. She didn't like driving in general. "Sure I guess." He said, tossing her the keys.

"Thx." Liz got into the driver's seat, and Kid into the passenger's.

"Hey, Kid, take a nap, will you? It's 11 at night, and it's a ways to home." Said Liz as she started the car.

"But I'm not- zzzzz" Kid began to speak, but promptly fell asleep. Liz smirked as she drove through the city.

Xxxxxxxx

"Hey, Kid. Wake up." Liz' voice pierced through the murky blackness under Kid's eyelids.

"Are we home?" he said, weakly opening his eyes.

"Not exactly." Said Liz. Kid looked through the front window of the car, and saw an incredible sight.

The car was perched on some sort of a cliff, with a road not far behind it. The cliff overlooked all of Death City, and Kid could see even his house from there. The lights in the city sparkled, and tiny ant-people walked the sidewalks. Above it all was the grinning moon, slowly chuckling.

"Wow… Liz, where are we?" asked Kid.

Liz smirked. "Lovers' point."

"Oh, yeah, that one cliff way out where." Said Kid. He looked at Liz. "And why are we here, again?"

Liz smirked. "You're so damn cute when you're clueless." She said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her face getting closer to his. Kid felt his face heating up as she slowly, passionately kissed him.

After a few minutes of kissing, Liz decided to go for the home stretch. She slowly slid her hands down Kid's sides. He shuddered as her soft hands reached his waist.

Then she started unbuttoning his pants.

Immidiately, Kid yelped and recoiled. "W-what are you doing?"

"Wow, this is extra-clueless, even for you, Kid." Said Liz, an eyebrow raised.

"No, I know what you're doing, it's just… I just…" Kid put a hand to his head. "I just don't want to rush things. I want to go slow, savor the moment, y'know?"

"…yeah, I guess you're right. It's just…" Liz looked at her shoes sadly. "All the guys I dated in the past… back in Brooklyn… only wanted me for my body…"

Immidiately, Kid pulled her over to him, and kissed her even harder then before. Then he whispered into her ear, "I'm not dating you because I want your body…" then he went to work biting her neck, and she moaned. "I want you because you are the most beautiful… gorgeous… kind… caring…" he recited compliments to her in between neck bites. "…loving…sweet…magnificently magnificent weapon a meister could ever possibly hope to have. Don't you ever forget that." He said as he sucked her neck.

Then he embraced her as she embraced him, and she knew his words were true. "Thank you…" she whispered to him.

Eventually, they pulled apart, and sat next to each other, watching the moon laugh.

"Liz?" said Kid after a few minutes, turning his head to look at her. "I'm not ready to go to max level yet, but maybe we could try level two…

"can I touch your breasts?"

Liz looked at him, and Kid winced, thinking he'd gone too far. Then she smiled a smile of lust. "I knew you couldn't resist me…" she said as she slowly pulled up her shirt.

Kid stared in astonishment as Liz sat next to him, only her bra covering her. Then she took even that off, and she was completely topless. Kid stared at her chest, not moving a muscle.

"Um… Kid?" asked Liz, a bit worried. "I… I know they're not as big as Patty's, but-"

"Liz," Kid promptly said, "Patricia's breasts are the size of bowling balls. It would be nearly impossible to have breasts of that size without ruining them with surgery. Besides, your breasts are a respectable size nonetheless."

Then Kid slowly raised his hands, and with a encouraging nod from Liz, cupped her full breasts in his hands. He thumbed one of her nipples, and she moaned. Her nipples crinkled into tight peaks.

"oh-my-god-they-moved." Said Kid in one breath, almost jumping backwards.

Liz smiled, he was so goddamn adorable. "It's ok, Kid. They're supposed to do that."

Kid cupped his hands around her chest once more, and she moaned even louder. They sat like that for a minute, Liz being overcome with pleasure as Kid teased her nipples. Then she pulled him in, and they kissed, passionately. Kid felt her hard nipples pressing into his chest, and grew incredibly aroused from it.

Of course, it was at this moment that a flashlight shone in through the window.

"YAAAH!" Liz screamed, covering her breasts with her hands. A sharp knock sounded on the window, and because Liz was paralyzed with shock and fear, Kid rolled down her window.

"What exactly's going on here?" asked a gruff female voice. Even though the flashlight's sudden light was blinding, it didn't take a genius to tell it was a policewoman holding it.

"Um… we're both over 18." Said Liz quickly.

"Hmmph. I don't doubt it." Said the voice. "Even so, for all I know, you were doing a drug deal and got carried away. I'm going to have to ask you two to step out of the car."

Liz groaned and unlocked her door with one arm, the other covering her breasts, but before she could open the door, Kid gripped her arm firmly. "Wait, Liz. Something's fishy about this. Stay in here." He said. Then he unlocked his own door, and got out. He walked around the car to the woman, but once she got in his line of sight, his face filled with rage, and he charged at her. The woman squealed and ran away, and to the onlooking Liz' astonishment, Kid actually chased after the woman. Bizarrely, the woman was laughing as the steaming-mad Kid chased her. They ran around the car a few times before Kid tackled the woman to the ground. He clutched the squirming figure, and threw her in the backseat. Then he stormed back over to the passenger seat and got in.

"What-" Liz began, but Kid cut her off.

"See for yourself." He said, turning on the car's cabin lights, revealing the mystery figure. Liz gasped.

"PATTY?"

Sure enough, Patty lay in the backseat, laughing hysterically. "You should have seen the looks on your faces!" she howled, tears streaming down her face. "It was priceless! Kya ha ha ha HAAAA!"

"I oughta punt you back to the manor, you little snot." Growled Liz as she rammed the key into the ignition.

The mood killed, Liz began to drive the trio home. "I'm sorry about Patty, Liz." Said Kid.

"Eh, it's not your fault. Besides, we did have a damn good time before she showed up, didn't we? Heh." Liz replied.

"By the way, nice nipples, sis."

"Shut the hell up, Patty.


	39. Evolution

"Morning, girls."

It was the day after the date, two days after the ceremony, and 8 days after Kid's rebirth. Liz and Patty sat at the kitchen table as Kid walked down the stairs.

"Hey, would you mind following me for a moment?" the shinigami said as he continued to walk. Liz and Patty shrugged, and walked after him.

"Girls, have you transformed since you became death scythes?" He questioned as he continued to walk.

"…No, we haven't even been on any missions since then. It's only been two days." Said Liz.

"I see. Let me give you a little history lesson, girls." Kid said. Both thompsons groaned. "Now, now. I think you'll like this."

"You two know spirit, right? Maka's perv of a father?"

"Yeah, he tried to hit on Patty the other day."

"Kee hee! He's funny!"

"I'll talk to HIM later." Growled Kid. "Anyways, before he was a death scythe, Spirit was a ordinary demon scythe, like soul. When he underwent the initiation ceremony, though, he gained incredible power, and 'evolved', if you will, into the incredibly powerful weapon he is today.

"What I'm wondering is if the same thing has happened to you two."

"So you mean we'll be shotguns or something?" asked Liz excitedly.

"No, it shouldn't be TOO different in appearance or mechanics, but it should have morphed a bit, and gained in power." Kid stopped, and opened a door. Only then did Liz realize he'd led them to the training room.

It was rather dingy in Kid's basement. The trio had mastered their skills long ago, so there wasn't really much use for it. A fine layer of dust covered the floor, and cobwebs adorned the corners. A few old targets stood around, waiting to be shot at.

"Ok, girls, you ready?" asked Kid. He turned to them, and held out his hands cautiously, not knowing exactly what they'd turn into.

"Lez get it ON!"

"woohoo!"

The girls transformed into guns in a flash of pink light, and in a blur, landed in Kid's hands. He made a pose as he caught them, as he normally did.

Then he noticed that they did indeed feel different then usual. Slightly heavier, and signifigantly larger. He brought them in front of him, and then he saw what they had become.

"Father's gloves..." Said Kid. He now held a new pair of guns, same in basic design as the originals, yet different.

At side glance, you almost couldn't tell the difference between now and before. The barrel was a bit thick, but other then that, it looked almost exactly the same, the exception being the fancy wooden grip.

When looked at from the front, though, it was a whole different story.

The gun had four barrels.

Arranged in a square format, the barrels were so large, you could stick your thumb in and wiggle it around easily. Even so, the gun was surprisingly small and convenient to carry.

"Kid, what the heck happened?" questioned Liz.

"Kya ha ha! I have four blammy-holes!" cheered Patty.

"Huh. Interesting." Said Kid. He flicked his wrist and clicked open Liz' hinged chamber, and inspected the inside.

"Well? Do you happen to know what kind of guns we are?" questioned Liz.

"Yes, actually." Replied Kid, flipping Liz shut. "You appear to be modified versions of COP .357 derringer 4-barrel firearms."

"Um… what's that mean?" asked Liz.

"We're police now?" asked Patty.

"No, that's just the name of the gun." Said Kid as he practiced swinging the guns around, making his poses, adjusting his speed and strength. "This is a rather rare gun. Normally, the COP .357 is a rather small, yet powerful gun, capable of firing four extremely powerful magnum rounds. It isn't used very often, though, because it only packs 4 shots before needing to be reloaded."

"Well, we don't have to worry about that. Your soul wavelength gives us infinite ammo." Said Liz.

"But you said that we should be small, yet we're huge!" said Patty.

"Well, it appears that, due to being death scythes, you've become the legendary double-sized version of the gun. I've heard of these, but they were only rumors." Kid pointed the two at the nearest target. "Let's see how much of those rumors were true."

BAM!

Kid lowered his guns, one of Patty's large barrels still smoking. His jaw dropped. The target had been completely obliterated, nothing left at all except a scorch mark on the wall behind it.

"Wow." He said. "It appears you're capable of firing shotgun blasts now."

"SHOTGUN?" asked Liz in astonishment. "But… a pistol giving a shotgun blast is like a… a…"

"A giraffe armed with a rocket launcher!" proposed Patty.

"…how would it even hold a rocket launcher?" asked Kid, chuckling.

"With its huge tongue of course!" said Patty.

Kid busted out laughing, startling the girls.

"Kid…" said Liz, "…you've never laughed before."

"Have I really?" questioned Kid, back to his tight, stiff self. "Well good. Laughter implies weakness. I suggest you erase the past two seconds from your minds, girls."

"Um… sure, Kid…" said Liz, struggling to hold in her own laughter. She had to remember that sometime.

"I wonder…" thought Kid out loud as he pointed his guns at another target.

BAM!

Now a steaming hole, the size of a dinner plate, was in the dead center of the target.

"It appears that, if I focus my energy, I can make you two fire magnum pistol blasts as well. That'll be good for if I want accuracy." Kid said.

The three messed around for a few minutes. Eventually, Kid let Liz and Patty take turns firing each other, which they enjoyed immensely, even though they couldn't fire single blasts like Kid could. Then Kid held out his hands again, and they obediently leaped in.

"Let's see what happens when…" he trailed off as he pointed his two guns at one of the last targets left standing. Then he thrust his soul wavelength into his two weapons.

Immidiately, Kid felt a surge of power, almost as large as the ultimate death cannon. Liz and Patty rippled and each transformed into what looked a little like four death cannon blasters melded together. Spikes three feet long erupted out of Kid's shoulders, and he actually grew a foot or so, his muscles rippling and enlarging as his weapons began to gather eight balls of orange light at their barrels.

"Black impaler charge at 99.8%!"

"Dark noise at -.2%!"

"Death resonance at 5024%!"

"Firing in 3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"OBLITERATION!" screamed Patty.

"DEATH BLOSSOM!" Kid roared, and eight gargantuan orange lasers spiraled from his guns, obliterating everything in front of Kid.

Xxxxxxxx

"Déjà vu."

Liz and Patty stared in astonishment. This death blast had not left a hole. It had taken out the entire damn WALL, and chunks of the surrounding walls. Miraculously, the manor itself was untouched, but as they looked out, they could see that a huge swath of the city had been reduced to scorched rubble.

"Jesus H. Christ!" Liz cried. "We blew up half the freaking city!"

"KYA HA HA! Patty go BOOM!" said Patty, waving her arms.

"Right… um, we'd better go back up the steps and barricade the door behind us, before the townsfolk come with pitchforks and torches." She grunted as she tried to pick Kid up. He had shrunk back to his original size, but with his adult muscles, it wasn't easy for her to move him. "Pat, gimme a hand here, willya?" she requested, and together, the two girls managed to drag Kid up the stairs.

"Fighting's going to be a lot easier from now on." She thought to herself as she grunted from the strain.


	40. Outfits, Measurements and Scars

"It's been a while since you came clothes shopping with us, Kid." Liz said as Kid followed the Thompsons through Nordstrom. "Is it a special occasion?"

"Yes, actually." Replied Kid. "I want you girls to pick out some more professional-looking outfits."

"Professional's boring." Said Patty, sticking her tongue out.

"Well, you two are head death scythes now, and you need to START looking professional, because… well, now you ARE professional. You two are going to have to go to all sorts of important death scythe conferences, and you need to look good for them."

"So we don't look good now?" said the Thompsons in tandem, looking at Kid with big teary eyes.

"What? No! I mean, yes! I mean- AUGH!" Kid cried.

"Relax, Kid, we're just messing with you." Liz said, smiling.

"We were?" asked Patty.

Liz put a finger to her lips as Kid led them into some expensive-looking store.

"Ah, oui oui! My favorite customer!" said a french man behind the counter. "What can I do for you today, monsueir Kid?"

"Hello, Jaques." Said Kid. "Nothing for me today. Now you dress the newly appointed head death scythes, Liz and Patty Thompson."

"Ah, my congratulations!" said Jaques, nodding at the girls.

"Ok, girls," Kid said, "I want a look which says, 'these girls aren't just death scythes, they're HEAD death scythes. Watch your step.'"

"What's the difference between a death scythe and a head death scythe?" asked Liz

"Well, regular death scythes are like if soul was a death scythe; he would be one, but he would have been raised by a separate meister.

"Head death scythes are the best of the best, trained by death himself."

"I'm special, I'm special!" cheered Patty, skipping around in a circle. Then she ran over to the catalog and began flipping through it.

"I want something unique," said Patty as she rifled through the catalog, "something which says 'Hey world! Patty Thompson's a death scythe now, so don't mess with her, or she'll pop a cap in yo' ass!'

"Although, it ALSO should say something like, 'Hey world! Patty Thompson's the cutest death scythe EVER, and don't you forget it!'"

"Ah, unique and cute, yet sharp and deadly, like a pink sword." Said Jaques, smiling politely. "You have fine taste, madam. If I might make a recommendation…" his hand stilled Patty's, then flipped a couple pages, and pointed to one of the outfits.

It was simple, yet elegant; a white shirt and a black skirt. The shirt had ruffles all down the front, but not so many that it looked ridiculous. It had puffy shoulders, cute yet subtle, and was topped off with two black, practical high heels.

"Oh… i…" Patty said, pausing. Then she grew an adoring expression. "I LOVE IT!" she shrieked, clutching the book to her chest.

"I thought you might." Said Jaques, peeling the book away from Patty. "If monsieur Kid approves, then we shall move on to the elder." Jaques held out the book for Kid to expect.

Kid stared at it for a few moments. Then he took a pen out of his pocket, clicked it open, and drew a death-skull brooch on the neck of the outfit, mirroring his own. "perfect." He said, smiling.

Liz walked up, and after a few minutes picked out a outfit which was identical to Patty's, but with long black trousers rather then a skirt. Again, Kid drew a death-skull brooch on its neck before he approved.

"Right, girls, go wait in the changing room." Said Kid, gesturing to a door. "We'll proceed to the measuring in a few minutes, once me and Jaques work out the details."

Patty flounced over and held open the door for Liz, who walked through.

The girls found themselves in a surprisingly spacey room, with mirrors fully covering 3 of the walls (the door on the fourth).

"Sis, you ok? You're kinda quiet." Asked Patty.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Patty." Said Liz, leaning her back against a mirror, then sliding down into a sitting position. Patty squatted down next to her.

"It's just…" Liz gestured to the entire room. "Who would have guessed, a couple of street rats, hated and despised, forgotten the moment we die, becoming assistants of death itself, revered and praised, remembered for eternity? I swear… sometimes it feels like I'm Cinderella or something." She chuckled.

"Can I be snow white?" asked Patty, smiling. "She controls animals with her mind, and makes them maul her enemies."

Liz laughed for real now, and ruffled Patty's hair. "Sure thing, Patty." She said, hugging her little sister.

"Hello girls." Said Kid, suddenly striding into the room.

"Kid!" said Liz, jumping up. "You startled me… what are you doing in here?"

"Preforming the measurements for your outfits." Kid pulled a tape measure out of his pocket. He never left home without a pair of them (one in each pocket). "Each customer must be extensively measured. No two dresses are alike, just as no two customers are alike."

"Why doesn't Jack measure us?" asked Patty.

"'Jaques', Patty. I never trust any measurements other then those I perform myself."

"Ok…" said Liz, raising her arms uncertainly.

"No, no, Liz. If we do the measurements while you wear your clothes, they will be inaccurate. Strip down, if you will." Said Kid nonchalantly, examining his tape measure, making sure it was working properly.

"Strip." Said Liz. Suddenly the room had become very hot.

"Yes, exactly." Said Kid, pulling out a ruler and cross-checking the measure.

"Kya ha ha!" laughed Patty.

"Kid." Said Liz, shaking her hands in front of her. "Just… forget about symmetry for a second, ok?"

Kid's head whipped up, golden eyes staring into crystal blue. "Liz, saying to forget about symmetry is like saying forget the sky is blue, or forget water is wet."

"Kid… just for one second, ok? Focus. Really think about what you're asking us to do."

Kid looked at Liz.

Then at Patty.

Then at the tape measure.

Then at Liz again, who he now noticed was blushing furiously.

"Ohhhh…" said Kid, blushing as well as he put two and two together.

"And you said you wanted to take it slow." Said Liz, smirking. "Well… if you really want us to…" Liz began to lower her jeans.

"Gah! I mean- I- well- you- I-" Kid stuttered, face burning. "Well…"

"Hey, if you didn't want to do it, you would've just let Jack measure us." Said Patty, taking off her shirt.

"Oh, father… ok, ok, let's try it like this: take off everything except the essentials, ok?" said Kid.

"Sounds like a plan, Kiddo." Said Liz, taking off her shirt.

Then she took off her bra.

Kid yelped. "L-Liz!" he cried, but made no move to stop her, or shield his eyes.

"Well, clothes aren't ESSENTIAL, Kid. The essentials are organs and skin and stuff." Liz smirked again. "Besides, you've seen them before. Multiple times, in fact."

"T-that's not the point!" Kid cried. "I… I… well…" he sighed, equally aroused and embarrassed. "Just… keep the panties on, ok? I'm not ready for… that…" he gawked, staring at Liz' crotch. The tape measure clattered as it hit the floor. Liz crossed her arms, never losing the smirk.

"It's not panties, Kid. It's a thong."

Kid swallowed, tugging at his collar. "So… so it is, Elizabeth…" he said. Liz tugged on the edge of her thong teasingly, and Kid got a nosebleed.

"Oh, thank god!" Patty said, whipping off her own bra. "That little thing was sooo tight…" she moaned, massaging her breasts.

Kid groaned, and thrust his face in his hands. "You girls are going to be the death of me…" he moaned. Then, with shaking hands, he picked up his tape measure, and began to slowly run it along the lengths of the girls' arms, writing down the measurements in between.

Liz shivered as she felt his cold hands run the tape measure down her leg. It was ridiculously arousing.

Kid continued his measurements. After a few minutes, though, he froze, as he was measuring Patty's shoulder width.

"What's this…" he whispered, running his fingers over her bare back. Liz looked over, and gasped.

Covering Patty's back were two huge diagonal scars, in a surprisingly symmetrical X formation, each running from one of Patty's shoulders to her opposite hip.

One of the long scars was old, and mostly closed, little more then a pinkish-white line. The other scar, though, looked like it had been made a few days ago, still filled with dried, congealed blood. The strangest thing of all, though, was that at every little zig and zag, the two scars were exactly identical.

"Patty… in the name of god, what happened to you…" Liz whispered.

Patty looked over her shoulder, and smiled weakly. "Oh… yeah… I hoped you guys wouldn't find out about those…"

"Patricia, answer your sister." Kid said quietly, still fingering the long scars.

Patty sighed. "It was the…" she counted on her fingers, but quickly ran out of them. "…i think it was the ninety-second Kishin we faced when I got the first one, about one and a half months ago."

Xxxxxxxx

FLASHBACK

Carlsbad Caverns, New Mexico.

"Monster, your soul is mine!" Kid cried as he blasted the beast, who howled in agony.

This particular Kishin looked particularly like a werewolf. It was nearly black, with red eyes, and had wicked claws and a ragged black mane running down its head, neck and back.

It had been living in the caves for god knows how long, terrorizing tourists. Kid found out about it, and decided to stop it. It was a rather smart Kishin, but Kid was smarter.

It was almost at the end of the battle when things went to hell in a handbasket.

One of Kid's stray shots hit the roof of the cavern, disturbing a swarm of nesting bats. The flying mammals squealed and scattered, blinding the combatants for a few moments.

After a few seconds, the bats had fled, but as Kid raised his guns to continue the fight, he discovered one of his hands was empty. "Liz?" he asked, looking around, before glancing behind him. Liz huddled in a little ball in the corner of the cavern, whimpering. "Liz!" Kid cried, dropping Patty and rushing over to her.

"S-scary bats… make 'em go away, Kid…" she whimpered, hugging Kid.

"I can't fight with one gun, Liz! It's not symmetrical!" Kid howled, trying to pry her off of him. When she clung tighter, wailing and sobbing, he began to sob, too. "Now I have no symmetry!" he wailed, like a wounded animal.

The black werewolf stared down at the two helpless mortals. Pathetic. The beast raised a claw, to put them out of their misery.

Then the werewolf felt a pair of feet slam into his side, and he went tumbling away, landing hard on the wall of the cavern. He groaned and looked up, to see Patty standing over him, hands on her hips.

"Don't hurt sis and Kid!" she cried, stomping hard on the monster's face. The beast howled. Then patty grabbed its face and slammed the back of its head against the stone wall. Then a kick to the chest sent it careening into another wall. Patty wrenched one of the stalagmites out of the ground, and plunged it into the beast's heart. The hairy monster howled, and clawed at the stone spike. Then he exhaled a shuddering breath, and his hands fell to his sides.

Triumphantly, Patty turned to Kid and Liz, waving. "Hey, I got him!" she called, smiling. "I got – HURK!" Patty felt a white hot razor whip across her back. She stumbled to her knees. The wound wasn't fatal, but it hurt like a bitch.

The werewolf chuckled, blood bubbling from its mouth. Then the demon seized up, and died for real. It peeled apart and faded into the air, leaving behind a red Kishin soul. Patty grabbed it, and shoved it in her pocket. Then she made her way over to sis and Kid.

Patty felt pain sear across her back as she put her arms under the other two traumatized members of her team, and hefted them up, walking them out of the cavern. Even though it hurt, she'd most likely live. She couldn't see the wound, but it surely wasn't THAT bad…

She didn't notice the drops of blood she left behind her as she carried her meister and sister out of the cavern.

FLASHBACK END

Xxxxxxxx

"Patty!" Kid cried, fingering the older, jagged scar, which ran from her left shoulder to her right hip. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well…" Patty said, not looking the other two in the eye, staring straight ahead as she felt Kid's fingers on her back. "I figured you two had enough on your minds, being terrified and all… then I sort of… forgot about it, I guess. Pretty dumb, huh?" she giggled, but it was weak and faint.

"Well, that explains that one… but what about the second?" questioned Liz, placing her own fingers on the newer, straight scar.

"Oh yeah… that one's from a few days ago…" said Patty, still not looking at her sister and meister.

Xxxxxxxx

SECOND FLASHBACK

Patty sighed as she looked over her shoulder. She looked into the mirror of the upstairs bathroom. She looked at the horrible scar, marring her back. She raised her fingers and ran them over it resentfully.

She hadn't told Kid and Liz about it, but after a week or two, when it still hurt to sleep on her back, she went to Stein in secret.

To Patty's dismay, Stein told her that due to her abuse of the scar (not bandaging it, not disinfecting it), it would leave a permanent scar across her back.

Patty glared at the horrible imperfection. She was scared that, if Kid ever saw it, he would be horrified… he would kick her out, because she was so hideously unsymmetrical…

There was only one thing to do.

Patty glanced at the bathroom door; it was locked. No interruptions.

Then she looked over her other shoulder, at the razor-sharp knife she had smuggled from the kitchen.

With a shuddering sigh, Patty slowly picked up the knife. She delicately ran her fingers across the blade. Then, carefully looking over her shoulder at the mirror, she placed the knife at the back of her left hip, opposite the hip which the scar ran to. She sighed again, steeling herself. Then she pressed the knife deep into her delicate flesh. She gave a small whimper as she began to slowly drag it up to her opposite shoulder. She was very careful, creating a exact replica of the opposite scar.

In little over a minute, the deed was done, and blood ran down Patty's back from the new cut. She sighed, shivering, and put her shirt and bra back on. It hurt almost more then the last one, but she mustn't bandage it, lest it turn out different then the other one. She slowly unlocked the door, slipping the knife back into her pocket, and walked down the hall.

She was symmetrical now. She was safe now.

Xxxxxxxx

Kid choked back a sob as he felt the newer scar. Patty looked over her shoulder again, smiling as always, but it was a grim, teary smile.

"Do you like how symmetrical they are?" she said quietly, that happy tone still in her voice.

That did it. With wails of anguish, Kid and Liz buried their faces in Patty's shoulders, hugging her tightly. Patty sighed, and patted the two on their backs.

She felt their faces dig into her shoulders, and she almost cried herself as she felt tears run down her sides. But she did not actually cry. Patty Thompson never cried.

She had a reputation to uphold, after all.

After a few minutes, Kid still cried, but he managed to whisper to Patty. "P-patricia… would… would you would sacrifice yourself like that… to save me, if Liz wasn't with me? I mean, she's your sister, so of course you'd save HER, but me…"

He was cut off as Patty softly bonked him on the head. "Of course I would, silly!" she said, in a tone which was both playful and serious. "You're my favoritest meister in the whole world! I'd do anything for you!"

Kid broke down again, and wailed into her shirt. Patty sighed, and patted him on the back again. So emotional.

After another couple few minutes, Kid stood up, wiped his eyes, and managed to finish the measurements.

As the trio walked out the door though, Kid put a hand on Patty's shoulder. "Patricia. Let me just make one thing clear." He said.

"I don't care if you are missing an arm and a leg and an eye, I will NEVER toss you out on the street. EVER."

Patty looked at him for a second, then she hugged him tightly. "Thank you…" she whispered in his ear.

XXXXXXXX

Author's footnote: patty's lovely outfit described in this fic is completely credited to Elizabethfeejeevu (i hope i spelled that right) and can be found here: art/Head-Death-Scythe-Patty-Thompson-295684818

she has a profile here on ff, too. CHECK IT OUT. NAO. YOUR OVERLORD DEMANDS YOU.


	41. Soul Noise: Christmas in June special!

"Yaaawn…" Patty sat up in her bed, stretched her arms, and yawned adorably. "Good morning, Geoffry." She said, hugging that night's stuffed giraffe. Then she looked at the clock. The display read, "6:00 am, December 25th." "6:00? Way too early." She flopped back to bed.

Then the second half of the display registered.

Patty squealed, lept out from under the covers, and did cartwheels down the hall. "It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" she cried as she rushed to her sister's room.

When Patty opened the door, though, Liz was not in her bed. " Probably already downstairs. It's weird though, Sis is even less of a morning person then me." Then she ran to Kid's room to wake HIM up.

She threw open Kid's door, and gasped, covering her mouth with her hands.

Kid was half-buried under the covers, his muscular torso rising and falling slowly. With one arm lazily draped over Kid's chest, Liz lay next to him, her face buried in his arm.

"Sis sis sis! Its Christmas! It's Christmas!" Patty yelled, shoving Liz unceremoniously. "Wake up wake up wake up!" she cried happily.

Liz yawned, and woke up. "Morning, Patty!" she said as she quickly gained alertness. "Isn't it a glorious Christmas?"

Patty giggled. For some reason, Liz was always incredibly happy on Christmas. "I know, right?"

Patty tilted her head, looking at her sister. "What're you doing in Kid's bed, sis?"

"Mmm…" Liz looked over her shoulder, and stroked Kid's hair. "I gave him a early Christmas present last night."

Patty giggled, then she scrabbled over the covers, and slapped Kid on the back a few times. "Kid Kid Kiddd wake up it's Christmas it's Christmas!" she hollered, beating his back with her palms.

Kid groaned, and rolled over, shoving his head under the pillow. He was rather the opposite of Liz when it came to Christmas; he was always extremely grumpy.

Patty jumped up and down on the bed. "Wake! Up! Wake! Up!" she screamed as the entire bed shook.

"DAMMIT YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Kid roared, whipping his head to look at Patty. "You're fucking nineteen! Act your age for once in your fucking life!"

Patty stopped jumping, and stared at Kid. Then she giggled. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." She said happily.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get this over with." Kid growled, rolling out of bed. He stormed out of the room, and was halfway to the stairs before Liz called to him.

"Wouldn't boxers be a good idea?"

Kid froze, then he looked down and cried out. He was a blur as he scrambled back to his room, and zoomed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Patty giggled. "Judging by the looks of 'him', you two had a pretty good night last night."

Liz moaned, and flopped back on the pillows. "It was freaking AMAZING…" she said quietly, and giggled, a bit hysterically.

Then the door was thrown open, and Kid stormed out, wearing a black robe. "Downstairs. Now. I want this ordeal over with as quickly as possible." He muttered as he stomped out of the room.

"Jeez, what's HIS problem?" Patty questioned as she and Liz followed in their jammies.

Liz shrugged. Kid was always super-duper grumpy on Christmas, but for some reason, he was even grumpier then usual this year.

"Well? Open them." Kid said as the Thompsons reached the bottom of the stairs, gesturing impatiently to the two huge mountains of presents. The piles were so huge, they were NEXT to the tree, instead of under it.

The girls squealed. "Oh Kid, you SHOULDN'T have!" Liz cried.

"Who should go first?" asked Patty eagerly. "It's Kid's house, so he should-"

"I didn't get myself anything. Open them, Patricia, before I change my mind and return them." Kid growled.

"All right, all right, sheesh." Said Patty, rolling her eyes and walking over to her mountain.

"Kid?" asked Liz, walking over and sitting next to Kid on the couch. She traced a finger over his chest. "You're not normally this grumpy… is it because we forgot to get you presents?" she said.

Kid sighed, and put his hands over his eyes. "No, it's not you, it's just…"

Liz gave a small grin. "Maybe I can cheer you up…" she said, moving her face towards his.

All of a suddenly, Kid practically threw Liz to her pile. "Open the damn presents! I want this OVER with!" he roared.

Liz stared at him. "Dear god, calm your tits, Kid. You're gonna burst a blood vessel at this rate." She said, beginning to open her presents.

Kid watched impatiently as the girls ripped open their piles of presents. It was like watching phiranas eat, some part of his brain said.

Then he slapped his head. "crap, I've got to put the turkey in the oven, otherwise it won't be ready in time." he said. Kid stood up, and walked over to the kitchen.

Kid pulled the turkey out of the freezer, and let it drop into the cooking pot with a loud THWACK. Then he prepared to begin his tedious process of making the bird symmetrical. Maybe this would calm him down.

Kid had barely sharpened the knives, though, then Liz strode into the kitchen, picked up the turkey, and placed it into the oven, setting the timer.

"Elizabeth, I hadn't even-" Kid began to protest, but Liz placed a finger on his lips.

"Sh-sh-sh…" Liz said, smiling. "This time, we're not going to worry about symmetry."

Kid felt steam rise from his head. He wrenched Liz' hand away from his mouth. "Elizabeth, if that turkey is not symmetrical, I REFUSE to serve it!" Kid said, glaring.

Liz rolled her eyes. "Don't have a piece, if you insist, but the rest of us want a turkey which doesn't have nine-tenths of it missing. Besides, remember what happened LAST year?"

Xxxxxxxx

FLASHBACK

"Aw, no!" Liz cried as she pulled the burnt, mutilated turkey out of the oven. Black smoke rose from it, and she coughed.

"Elizabeth, put that back in right now! It's only 3/4ths done!" Kid growled, storming in and snatching the turkey.

"Kid, there's so little meat that there's nothing even left to COOK! If it goes in that oven any longer, we're going to be eating ASH!" Liz said, grabbing the other end of the turkey. There was a furious tug-of-war for a few moments, before the turkey (more of a burnt turkey skeleton, really) flew out of their grips and fell to the floor. They rushed to grab it, but the resident turkeyholic, Patty, leapt and devoured it.

"Meh, it's kind of burnt. Still, though, turkey's turkey!" she said, gobbling it, getting black grease all over her lips.

Kid groaned. "Patricia, at least use a knife and fork if you're going to-"

"Hey! Gimme that!" a wild Black*Star attacked, snatching the turkey. He ran away with it, Patty running after him, screaming curses. Tsubaki ran after them, while Soul and Maka placed their bets on who would get the turkey.

That night was chaos, and it ended up with Black*Star in the hospital with a butter knife down his throat, Patty gobbling what was left of the turkey, Several holes in the wall from Kid banging his head, and Maka being five dollars richer.

FLASHBACK END

Xxxxxxxx

"I am NOT eating chips and dip for our Christmas dinner this year." Liz growled

"But-" Kid whined

"No arguing. You're not going to do any cooking this year, I swear it." Liz said.

"But… I still have to chop vegetables for the salad, and mix the cookie dough, and count out eight perfectly symmetrical chocolate chips for every cookie, and-"

"Taken care of." Said Liz proudly. She reached into the fridge, and pulled out a perfectly arranged salad and a plate of cookies.

Kid inspected the dishes. "Well, they're HIDEOUSLY assymetrical, but I don't feel like wasting time on this pointless holiday. C'mon, let's get to Black*Star and Tsubaki's place." Kid stormed away, and Liz sighed and set down the dishes. She'd worked really hard on those; they were perfect, she was SURE of it! Kid usually at least humored her, pretending her cooking was symmetrical, but he must have been in a REALLY bad mood today.

As she followed Kid towards the door, she glimpsed a window out the corner of her eye. Her head whipped around, and she gasped.

"Kid! It's snowing!"

Kid peered out the window, his eyes widening. "my god…" he whispered. "beautiful!" He scampered towards the door, not even putting on a coat or boots as he threw it open and gazed upon the yard.

"Liz, Patty, get a load of this!" he cried in wonder. Liz and Patty ran up, staring from either side of him. Neither of them had seen snow since they were in Brooklyn! (Keep in mind, Death City's in the middle of a desert.) It was a Christmas miracle!

"This incredible white blanket must NOT be disturbed! Look how PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL it is!" Kid cried. The girls groaned as Kid launched into a tirade of happiness. The snow had made him cheer up, though, that was a plus.

"So what, we're going to have to stay inside just because of the snow?" Liz said indignantly.

"YES! There is no other option!" Kid cried.

"If your lawn wasn't perfect, would you let us leave?" asked Liz, grinning mischeviously.

"Yes, but it IS perfect! Look how perfectly balanced the- WAUGH!" Kid cried out as Liz pushed him face-first into the snow. Patty cheered, and leapt into the snow to romp about.

"Liz, what the hell was the purpose of THAT? Now my lawn is RUINED, and to top it off, I'm SOAKED!" Kid howled.

"You know what, Kid?" Liz said, bending down and scooping up a few handfuls of snow, packing them together. "chill." She hurled the newly made snowball directly into Kid's ranting face.

PAFF!

Kid's yellow eyes stared out at Liz from behind the white mask, as she howled with laughter. It soon died, though, when she saw Kid's body quivering. Uh-oh.

"Elizabeth…" Kid said in a shaky voice, slowly climbing to his feet. "Imagine if you had never seen snow before. Imagine that this very lawn was the first time you ever truly saw snow with your own two eyes, and not in a picture or book. Imagine how perfectly symmetrical it would be."

"Kid…" Liz said. she could see the way this was going, and it wasn't looking good.

"now imagine," Kid said, his voice slowly rising in rage and volume, fists clenched, eyes narrowed, "imagine if this perfect symmetry, this flawless miracle of nature, was ruined, because you were SHOVED INTO IT BY SOME FUCKING SLUTTY WHITE TRASH BITCH WHO'S DONE EVERY SLIMEBALL IN THE STATE! CAN YOU PICTURE THAT, LIZ? CAN YOU FUCKING PICTURE THAT?" Kid screamed at Liz, his face a terrifying picture of pure, raw fury.

Liz cowered. This was the maddest she'd ever seen Kid. Then she squealed as a handful of snow was shoved down the front of her pants, and as she clutched her crotch, Kid shoved her aside, into the snow, as he stormed inside and slammed the door with a BANG!

Liz squealed as the freezing slush took its toll on her nether regions. After a few minutes of what was not quite pain yet not quite pleasure, Liz stood up shakily.

Patty returned from her romp, and stared at Liz. Then she laughed. "Onee peed herself!" she howled as she pointed at Liz' crotch.

Liz looked down and squeaked as she saw that the melted snow-water had soaked into her jeans, making it look indeed like she had peed herself.

Liz groaned, and spun on her heel to go back into the house for a fresh change of clothes. As she gripped the door handle and pushed, though, it didn't budge; Kid had locked it from the inside. Liz pounded on the door. "C'mon, Kid, lemme in! I'm not wearing any layers and I'm soaked!" she called.

"well now you know how I feel, don't you?" came Kid's voice from an upstairs window. "You whores can just stay out there and become thompsicles, for all I care! I-MMPH!"

Kid had been pelted in the face with another snowball from Liz! He screamed with rage, and ducked back inside. Liz barely dived out of the way as a barrage of junk came hurtling from the open window: lamps, books, pillows; basically everything which wasn't bolted down. Then, after about twenty seconds, Kid howled again, and the window was slammed so hard, half the icicles fell from the roof.

"That's it," Liz growled, "I'm getting in there."

"The back door's probably locked, too." Patty piped.

"Yeah, well, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve." Said Liz. She pulled a paper clip out of her jeans pocket, and unfolded it. Then she stuck it into the door's keyhole, and began to wiggle it around. "Patty, keep heading to Soul and Maka's house. I'll be there in a bit."

"Okey dokey, sarginokey!" Patty giggled, skipping away.

After a minute or two, Liz managed to pick the lock. She smiled as she opened the door. Being a street rat had its advantages.

She hurried to her room, and peeled off her soaked clothes, putting on new ones. Then she walked over to Kid's room, sneaking the last few steps. "Kid? Can I come in?" Liz asked, knocking a couple times.

"Well of course you CAN. You have hands, arms and legs." Kid's voice growled from the other side.

"Hey, I'm just trying to be nice." Liz said, beginning to get frustrated.

"Look, just back the fuck off, ok?" Kid yelled from behind the door.

"Not until you tell me why you're so grumpy." Liz said. She opened the door, and saw a surprisingly messy room; Kid must have thrown half his worldly possessions at her through the window. Kid himself was tucked under wrinkled covers, a pillow over his head.

Liz walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. She stroked Kid's back. "Tell me what's wrong." She said quietly.

Kid pulled the pillow off his head, and glared at her. "It's too loud, ok?" he roared.

Liz blinked, and put a hand to her ear. "I don't hear anything." She said, holding her hands up accordingly.

"Well of course YOU don't." Kid growled. "It's not real noise.

"It's soul noise."

"Soul noise?" Liz asked, tilting her head. She positioned herself so that she lay behind Kid, her arms wrapped around him.

"Liz…" Kid sighed. "…When somebody is overly happy or excited, their soul emits this sort of hum, which only death can hear. This hum isn't bad when it's only one person, but when it's even a hundred people, it's deafening.

"Imagine how it feels when everyone on the PLANET is joyful, because, for example, it's a certain holiday."

"Kid…" Liz whispered. Kid just shook his head.

"Liz… make it stop… make the noise stop…" he whined pitifully.

Liz hugged him tighter, trying to think of a way to make the noise stop. Then she smiled. "light buullllb…" she said quietly, hugging Kid tighter.

Xxxxxxxx

"Oy bartender! More 'nog!" Patty howled, raising her cup.

"Patty, I'm cutting you off. It's not good to have this much alcohol-laced eggnog." Maka said, putting her hand on her hip, the other clutching the precious carton.

Patty didn't say anything, she just grabbed the eggnog. She didn't even bother with the cup, she just poured it directly from the carton down her throat. When it was empty, she tossed it to her side casually. She attempted to get up, most likely in an attempt to get more 'nog from the fridge, but she was so wasted that she stumbled and flopped down on the opposite couch. There she lay, out cold from three cartons of eggnog.

Maka sighed. Then she heard a knock, and went to answer the door.

"Hey, Maka!" Liz said, smiling as Maka opened the door.

"Hey, Liz! You're kinda late, what took you so long?" Maka questioned as Liz walked in. Then Kid followed her in, and Maka noticed something.

Kid wore a pair of noice-cancelling headphones, which were hooked up to an ipod. The music was cranked up so loud, Maka could hear it from five feet away. He smiled blissfully as he happily plopped down on the couch next to the comatose Patty.

"Um… long story. Don't ask." Said Liz, smiling sheepishly.

"Eyy, if it ishn't blonde number tree!" slurred a stumbling Black*Star, supported by Soul. The way they waved their cups around suggested that they were wasted too, though not half as much as Patty.

"Yeah, welcome to the larty, Piz!" Soul said. then he shook his head and tried again. "welcome to the larz, pity! … poors, larty! … shcrew it, where's the nog?... hic!"

Liz giggled. "I've got to try me some of that stuff." She said, walking over to the kitchen.

"What's going on?" asked Tsubaki, sipping a juice box and walking into the room. "Oh, hey, Kid!" she smiled, and tapped Kid on the shoulder. "how's it going?"

"WHAT?" Kid shouted, smiling at Tsubaki.

"I said, how's it going?" said Tsubaki a bit louder.

"STOP WHISPERING, TSUBAKI!" Kid yelled.

"I SAID, HOW'S IT GOING?" Tsubaki screamed.

"OH, WELL, I'M DOING FINE. THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT, BY THE WAY." Shouted Kid.

"Trust me, it's better then the alternative." Said Liz to Tsubaki, smiling at her temporarily deaf boyfriend.

At long last, he could enjoy Christmas as much as she did.

Even if he could hear about as much as Justin Law.


	42. Birthday Surprises?

Liz, Kid and Patty watched TV together, cuddling into each others' sides.

"Man, that was wonderful, wasn't it, Kid?" Liz said, smiling.

"Yeah. Best birthday present EVER." Kid said, rather dazed-sounding. "I couldn't believe Patty agreed to it!"

"Hey, I never thought you two would let me join you!" Patty said. "How would you rate my performance, 1 to 10?"

"eight." Said Kid without hesitation, still in that dazed tone of voice.

Liz smiled at Patty. "He always says eight." She said. "It was more of an 7, honestly. Not bad for a first-timer."

"Are you sure the whip wasn't overkill?" Patty questioned.

"You kidding? The whip was probably the best part!" said Liz.

"Na, the best part was when you were in gun form. That was REALLY good." Said Patty, also rather dazed.

"Oh, stop it, you." Liz said, blushing.

"I liked the finale." Kid mentioned.

"Well of course you would. You were the star of that last bit." Patty said.

"Next time, we're putting TWO pairs of handcuffs on you for each limb." Liz said, grinning.

"Like that's going to be able to stop me." Kid said, grinning also.

Then, Kid straightened up a bit. "You know, girls, I just thought of something." He said.

"We've never celebrated you guys' birthday."

The Thompsons did not make eye contact with Kid.

Kid grew teary. "Oh my god, I'm the worst meister EVER! I don't even know my own weapons' BIRTHDAYS! And one of them's my GIRLFRIEND!"

Liz quickly intervened before it could turn into a full-fledged tantrum. "Kid, it's ok." She said. "We never told you our birthdays. I can garuntee it."

"Oh…" Kid smiled weakly, growing more relaxed. "So what are your birthdays?"

"…" the Thompsons were silent as they watched Daffy Duck play a piano on the TV.

"…We don't have any." Liz said quietly.

"beg pardon?" Kid asked.

"We don't have birthdays, all right?" Liz said, tears beginning to form. "We were found in a trash can, and our exact birth date was never confirmed. We can't even remember the day we were chucked in that trash can."

"Who needs birthdays?" Patty pouted, as Daffy pressed a key filled with dynamite. "Who wants all the presents, or all the friends, or all the cake… delicious, soft… moist cake…"

"Patricia, don't drool on me."

"Kee hee, sowwy!" Patty said, trying to wipe off the drool from Kid's shirt. Kid smiled, and petted her head.

"Y'know… we could make up a birthday. Y'know… just a little pretend party." Said Liz hopefully.

Kid rolled his eyes. "Elizabeth, that is ridiculous. Now, if you girls don't mind, I'm going to go to sleep now." With that, Kid stood up, yawned, and left, just as Porky Pig said "thabba-dubba-tha-ba-that's all folks!"

Sadly, Liz and Patty followed him, wishing they'd never brought up the subject.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz woke up the next day excited and refreshed.

She'd seen this stuff in movies and fanfictions before, Kid was going to have a special party all set up for them!

Liz slowly walked downstairs, then went around the corner and leapt into the kitchen. "Oh Kid, you shouldn't have!" she gasped.

Then she realized that there was nothing special about the kitchen, nothing out of the ordinary. Just Kid sitting at the table, drinking his (black) coffee, and Patty playing with her food.

"Shouldn't have what, Liz?" Kid asked.

"Never mind…" she said sheepishly. As she went to make toast for herself, she reflected that it was too early for a party. Something special would happen tonight, she was sure of it.

"Look at me, I'm a pig! Meow!" said Patty as she pulled her face out of her froot loops.

Xxxxxxxx

"So did you have a nice day today, Liz?"

Liz sighed as she leaned her head back into her lover's bare chest, as she lay with him in his bed at the end of the day.

"Kid…" she replied. "do you remember that little conversation we had last night?"

"Hmm…" Kid thought for a few moments before responding. "Wasn't it something about Christmas, or Easter, or some holiday?"

Liz sighed again. "never mind." She mumbled as she buried her face in a pillow.


	43. Birthday Surprises pt 2

SURPRISE! We're doing it now.

I'm sorry, but damn, I'm good.

XXXXXXXX

About 2 months after pt 1.

Liz walked down the stairs, into the kitchen. She didn't bother jumping. She gave up on that after a week straight of doing it. She barely even remembered the birthday thing, now.

She walked into the kitchen, and was met with a slightly unusual sight. Patty sat at her chair, but Kid was not there.

"Where could Kid be?" she wondered out loud.

"Beats me." Patty replied, attempting to carve a happy face into a froot loop.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang, startling the girls, causing Patty to accidentally snap her froot loop in half. "gosh-darnit!" she muttered as she and Liz went to answer the door.

When Liz opened the door, though, there was nobody there.

Just a small envelope on the stoop. Liz bent down and picked it up, and slit it open. Inside, predictably, was a letter, though rather more unpredictably were the neatly cut-and-pasted letters.

"We have your meister." The letter read. "we are holding him captive in the old Lucifer Wash garage. If you ever want to see him alive, come today, 8:00 in the morning. If you talk to the police, he will die. If you bring anyone other then yourselves, he will die."

"8:00?" Liz cried. She checked her watch. "Oh my god, it's 7:45! Patty, let's hurry!"

"Okey-dokey!" Patty said.

Together, the girls ran (quickly skipped, in Patty's case) to the garage.

Xxxxxxxx

Shut down by some inspector a few years ago, the Lucifer Wash company's garage was derelict and dusty, cobwebs and dust everywhere. It was a simple, double-floor building; several car wash/repair shops on the lower floor, and a dark upper floor, where business used to be done.

Almost exactly ten minutes after the girls read the letter, they arrived at the dilapidated garage. The looming building seemed to blot out the sky as they walked to the door.

Liz tried opening it, then banged a few times. Nothing. "Locked." She said to Patty.

"Onee, look!" Patty said, pointing.

A few of the old garage doors were open.

"Well, he's in one of these…" Liz said, scratching her chin. "…but we only have a few minutes, so we'll only have time to search the first one. Which-"

"This one." Said Patty confidently.

She pointed to stall number 8, all the way down on the end.

"Excellent work, Patty. Let's go!" Liz and Patty made their way past derelict cars to the open door. Many would bet the two girls couldn't make their way through the small gaps between the cars, but they would lose their cash. The Thompsons had spent their entire lives in Brooklyn, squeezing into impossibly tight places to escape from police and enemy gangs.

"Say, sis?" Patty said as the duo squeezed through gaps. "Don't you think we'd have seen one of Kid's kidnappers by now?"

"They must all be crowding around him, putting their eggs in one basket." Liz said. then she chuckled. "He's such a whiner, he's probably giving them a mental run for their money."

The two made it to the stall, and walked inside, past the no-longer-rotating bristles and brushes and wipers.

Liz shivered. "Pat, I don't like this." She said. "perfect spot for an ambush."

Sure enough, there was an ambush, but not in the way one would most likely expect. Suddenly, water squirted from hidden nozzles on the ceiling.

"AAH! I'm getting SOAKED!" Liz cried.

"KYA HA HA! It's raining!" Patty cheered.

Then, Liz had a horrible thought. "Pat, this is just the rinse cycle! In a minute, the sharp, pointy bristles are gonna rotate and rub us raw!"

"Let's hurry!" Patty yelled over the now harsh rain.

The two girls quickly made their way past the almost razor-sharp bristles and wipers. After about thirty seconds, they made it to the exit side of the garage.

"Gyah, I'm soaked…" Liz said, brushing herself futilely as the two managed to get to a side room, slamming the door behind them.

It was some sort of loading dock. An old truck sat sadly to the girls' side, but they were most interested in what lay in front of them.

Kid sat, bound and gagged to a chair, a single spotlight dramatically on him. He was unharmed, but his eyes were closed and he was slumped over, obviously unconscious.

Liz made for him, but Patty grabbed her arm. "Wait!" she hissed. "If we go to him now, some goons will probably dogpile us from the shadows."

"Good thinking." Liz said quietly. She waited a few moments, and her eyesight eventually adjusted. Sure enough, when she looked closely, black, hooded figures crouched in the shadows, silently waiting for the quarry to set its foot in the trap.

"Incapacitate, but do not kill. I want to interrogate them, find out what their motive was, who they were working for." Liz whispered.

Patty pouted. "Killing's the fun part…" she mumbled.

Liz pinched her on the ear, and she made a tiny noise of protest. "Ok, ok!" she whispered.

There were six hooded figures, arranged in a hexagon around Kid. Silently, the girls divided. Liz went to take the three on the left, Patty the three on the right.

With such stealth Batman himself would be a bit impressed, the girls quickly yet quietly one-hitted the would-be assassins. After three neck chops and two cranial smashes, only one figure remained. Patty kicked him viciously in the nuts, and the unknown person went down with a squeak.

Kid must have heard the noise, for he was immediately awake, his eyes probing the room. Liz and Patty stepped out of the shadows, and his eyes widened.

"Lmmph! Rmmph! Hmmph-m-mmph-rmf!" he said, his words rendered intelligible by the gag.

"What?" Liz asked. "hang on, let me untie you."

Quickly, Patty undid Kid's bonds, while Liz got the gag off of him.

Liz hugged him tightly. "How did this happen? How did you-"

"Liz…" Kid said, smiling and pulling away from her.

"Happy birthday."

Liz blinked. Then she blinked again.

"I think he's hyposterical." Patty said.

"Hysterica, Patricia." Kid said. Then he raised a hand.

It was evidently a signal of some kind. All of a sudden, the huge loading bay door began to rattle open.

"Kid what the hell?" Liz cried.

"GAA! BRIGHT!" Patty hollered, covering her eyes with her hands as the bright sunlight rushed in.

Then, as Liz' eyes adjusted, her jaw dropped.

A cake, larger then a two-story-building, lay outside on a massive tarp, and was surrounded by her friends from school, and teachers, and Lord Death, and tables with refreshments, and enormous mountains of presents…

"Poopy. I'm still dreaming." Liz pouted.

"Well if you are, then I am too…" Patty said.

"It's not a dream, I assure you." Kid said as he put an arm around each of his weapons.

As if on cue, he and everyone else screamed, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIZ AND PATTY!"

Liz nearly screamed herself. "Kid, how did you- why did- i- holy-"

Kid chuckled. "A incredibly convoluted plot, of my own design."

"Then who are these guys?" Patty asked, kicking one of the fallen hooded figures.

"Uh, yeah… funny story…" Kid said, walking over to each figure and pulling the strangers' hoods down.

"Um, yeah, Maka, Soul, Stein, Spirit, Black*Star and Tsubaki all volunteered to jump out at you from the shadows."

"Christ, Patty… you have hard shins…" Spirit whimpered, the one who had been kicked in the crotch.

"Kee hee hee! I get that a lot." Giggled Patty.

"They'll come to in a few minutes. For now, go ahead and mingle, or whatever people do at birthday parties." Kid said.

"YAYYY!" Patty screamed, and leaped straight into the cake, gobbling furiously.

Xxxxxxxx

One best birthday party ever later…

"That… was… EPIC!" Liz moaned, sitting in a gold, cushy throne constructed especially for that day.

The party had lasted for countless hours, and it left one hell of an aftermath. Present wrappings and cake shreds and other trash littered everywhere.

It turned out that they were on a cordoned-off street, the cake and party was so damn huge. There was a stage, and colored spotlights, and rave music… it was freaking epic.

Patty had eaten so much, she created a series of tunnels which eventually caved in the entire freaking cake, leaving a huge, pink, delicious, messy mound. That didn't stop her from eating it, though. Eventually, they managed to dig her out, but by then, she'd fallen into another cake-coma.

Liz had no idea how many presents she received. She lost track around number 200.

Now everyone had left, save a tired Liz, a cleaning Kid, and a Patty the size of a hummer from all the cake.

"Hey, Kid?" Liz asked, leaning forwards.

"Yes, Elizabeth?" Kid asked, smiling.

"Um… why did you wait two months for this party? Why not do it right away?" Liz asked.

"Three reasons." Kid said, continuing to clean.

"1: the cake alone took 3 weeks to build."

"That's all?"

"2: I wanted to surprise you. You would have expected it if I made a party the day after the conversation."

"Well, you surprised me, all right."

"And finally…" Kid straightened up and looked at Liz. "Elizabeth, do you know what day it is?"

Liz checked her watch. "September 8th. Why?"

"This is the anniversary of the day we first met."

Liz stared at him.

"Yes, about 2 years and 12 hours ago, you were holding Patty to my chin, growling for me to hand over my money." Kid laughed quietly. "So much has changed since then, hasn't it?"

Then Kid was tackled to the ground, and Liz was kissing him passionately. "I can't believe you REMEMBERED! After all this time! Even I had forgot! Oh you sensitive, thoughtful little shinigami! I love you so freaking much it hurts!"

Kid only smiled against her mouth. "Same time next year?" he whispered.

Liz smiled back. "Definitely."

"Only next time, don't soak another set of my clothes."


	44. The Sleepover

"Hey, Kid!" said Liz as she walked into his room.

"Hello, Elizabeth. May I help you with something?" Kid asked, reading a book.

"Yeah, I want to do something tonight." Said Liz.

"a movie? A club?"

"Not exactly."

"what, then?" Kid asked, looking up at her.

"Well…" Liz said, looking at her feet. "I was kind of wondering…

"Can me and Patty have a sleepover?"

Kid looked at her, then shrugged. "Sure. I'll call the rest of the gang and see if they can join us.

"No, Kid." Liz said. "A girls-only sleepover."

"Girls… only?" Kid squeaked. For less then a second, Liz saw an expression of pure, raw terror on his face. Then he shook his head, and his expression returned to normal. "I mean, sure. If you guys really want to." He said, in a forced casual voice.

"You alright, Kid?" Liz asked in a worried tone.

"Fine. Good as ever." Kid said, smiling weakly. "Although, there is one small thing I require of you.

"Give me your word that you won't mess up the house too badly while I'm gone."

Liz thought for a moment. She knew that she and her friends were going to virtually bulldoze the house. If she told Kid that, though, he'd never let it happen. Best to tell a little white lie. "Sure, Kid. We won't mess it up very bad." Liz said happily.

"Very well. Go ahead and make arrangements." Kid said, returning to his work.

He wrote with a rather shaky hand, as Liz squealed with joy and ran out of the room to alert Patty.

Xxxxxxxx

Einstein was right, time is relative.

For Liz and Patty, the day crawled by.

For Kid, the ominous doorbell came far, far too soon for his liking.

"HAIII!" came Patty's voice from the front hall. Judging by the voices, Kid surmised that Tsubaki and Maka had arrived.

Then he heard Patty, using her scary voice, yelling up the stairs. "KID, YOU LITTLE BRAT, GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE I PUNT YOU OUT!"

Kid fought the urge to scream, and instead settled for leaping out a third-story window. He used the old trick of shouldering and rolling on the ground, and thanks to his reaper agility and dexterity, he came out unscathed. He quickly darted around to the front of the house, weaving around bushes and shrubbery.

Eventually, he managed to make it to one of the bushes in front of his home. He sighed with relief as he glanced around the corner of the plant, and saw the door was closed. They weren't looking for him out here. Yet.

Before he could continue his escape, though, a hand clamped over his mouth. Kid screamed, but it was muffled to a whimper's level by the hand. Then his head was jerked around, and he was face-to-face with soul. The albino made a shushing motion with a finger to his lips, and Kid shut up promptly.

"Man, what's going on?" Soul asked, removing his hand from Kid's lips.

Black*Star popped out from behind Soul. "Mak and Tsu wouldn't tell us where they're going, so we tailed 'em here, and hid behind this bush, then you showed up. That's all we know."

"It's a sleepover. A GIRLS-ONLY sleepover." Kid said quietly as he plucked a few slivers of glass out of his suit's threads. "Don't worry. They gave their word they wouldn't mess up the house."

"The nerve of those bitches!" Soul said. "Dude, they're probably ####ing up your house as we speak."

"Let's get 'em!" Black*Star cheered.

"Get 'em?" Kid squeaked, paling.

"Yeah, crash their stupid party." Soul said.

"Um…" Kid whimpered. "You do know… if they catch us… they'll torture us in ways which make Vietnam look like a episode of my little pony."

Soul chuckled, and patted Kid on the shoulder. "Dude, you've been reading to many fanfictions, watching too many movies." Soul said quietly. "Trust me; we're going to be VERY well prepared. B*S and I have a kit for just this kind of occurance."

"They don't stand a chance!" Black star cried, thrusting a fist in the air.

Kid quickly pulled the fist down, before the girls saw it. "Guys, I REALLY don't want to do this…" he whispered.

"C'mon, man! Three musketeers!" Black*Star said. "We do it together or not at all."

"Ok, ok, dude. You don't have to do it." Soul said.

Kid looked rather shocked. "I… I don't?" he asked.

"Sure." Said Soul, grinning evilly. "That is, if you want to sleep on the sidewalks and get your precious outfit all dirty…"

"NO!" Kid cried, then covered his mouth with his hands.

"You're in, then?" Soul whispered.

Kid nodded frantically, not trusting himself to remove his hands from his mouth.

"Eeeeeeegcellent." B*S said, rubbing his hands together with an evil smile identical to soul's. "Here's how it's gonna go down…"

xxxxxxxx

about a half-hour later…

"Justin Beiber is so the cutest!"

"How 'bout Brad Pitt? He's the ORIGINAL dreamboat."

"I like Chuck."

Liz, Tsubaki and Maka looked at Patty. "Chuck?" Liz asked curiously.

"Yeah, Chuck Norris! He's awesome! I always wanted a man who could blow up the sun by blinking!" Patty cheered.

"How 'bout you, Liz? Who's your dream man?" Tsubaki wondered, looking at Liz.

Liz blushed. "Sorry girls. I already have a dream man." She bragged.

"Who, Kid? Yeah, he's pretty damn hot, I admit." Tsubaki said. "Not as good as Black*Star, though."

"Or Soul." Maka sighed. "His fingers are MAGIC. Must be all that piano playing."

"Wait, I thought you guys liked celebs." Liz questioned.

"Well, yeah." Tsubaki said, sipping a juice box. "We have about a snowball's chance in hell of getting a celeb boyfriend, though. We're just taking what we CAN get, instead of we WANT to get."

"Sensible." Liz said.

"What now?" Maka asked.

"Truth or dare! It's mandatory that it be played at ANY all-girl sleepover!" Patty cheered.

"sounds good."

"whatever."

"all right."

"I start, because I suggested it!" Patty said.

"No way! Youngest starts first!" Maka said indignantly.

"Yeah, and I'm younger then all of you." Patty replied, sticking her tongue out.

"Patty, you're MY age. You're just growth stunted." Liz said.

"Yeah, but MENTALLY I'm six." Patty said happily.

"You can't argue with THAT logic." Maka admitted. "Ok, Pat, go first."

"Ok… Tsubaki! Truth or dare?" Patty asked.

"Dare." Tsubaki said confidently.

Liz winced. "Shouldn't have done that, Tsubaki…" she said.

"It's her first time doing a Patty dare. I'll go easy on her." Patty said. "I dare you to eat a banana, Tsubaki!"

Tsubaki shrugged. "Harmless enough."

Patty grinned. "You need to do it really slow and sexy. And film yourself, then put the tape on youtube and your facebook wall."

Tsubaki smacked her head. "I was asking for it, I guess." She muttered as she headed for the kitchen.

Xxxxxxxx

Five minutes of VERY sexy banana eating later…

"OMG that was hilarious!" Liz howled.

"It wasn't THAT funny…" Tsubaki said quietly, blushing like a tomato.

"You should have seen your face! You were all like WHOM NOM NOM and you chewed with your mouth open all slow! You should be a porn star, Tsu!" Maka wailed with laughter, holding her sides.

Patty didn't say anything, mostly because she was immobilized, holding her sides and howling with laughter, tears streaming down her face.

After a bit, the girls calmed down, and Tsubaki made her next dare.

"Hmm… Liz! Truth or dare?" Tsu said, pointing at Liz.

Liz shrugged. "Truth."

"Aww… party pooper." Patty said, pouting and crossing her arms.

Tsubaki grinned with a unnaturally evil smile. "Have you and Kid ever actually gone all the way?"

"Then again…" Patty said, immediately regaining interest.

Liz blushed. "Well… it depends what you mean by 'all the way'." She said.

Tsubaki rolled her eyes. "Layman's terms it is. Has he actually ever came inside you before?"

Liz' blush deepened. "…no."

"WHAT?" Patty cried. Maka and Tsubaki looked at her while Liz looked at the floor.

"How could you NOT be doing the whole thing!" Patty cried, waving her arms everywhere. "You should HEAR yourselves! The groans and moans alone are enough to keep me awake all night, let alone you screaming each other's names!"

"Well…" Liz' face now looked like it would burst into flames any second. "…let's just say we've been doing everything… except the actual thing."

Tsubaki and Maka's jaws dropped. They began to try and see if everything really meant everything.

"Handcuffs?"

a nod from Liz.

"Clamps?"

another nod.

"striptease?"

nod.

"cosplay?"

nod.

"Dildos?"

Liz looked shocked. "Well, we never go THAT far." She said.

"Ah, so there IS a limit!" Tsubaki said.

"Well, I'm saving myself for mairrage." Liz said quietly.

"It's true. She managed to avoid actually doing strangers she sold herself too, just pleasing them into submission, then scampering away with their money." Patty added

"Anyways, dildos are about the only thing we don't do." Liz said quietly. "He has some REALLY weird fetishes."

"Does it have anything to do with the diapers in the upstairs closet?" Patty asked, jerking her thumb to the stairs.

Liz had barely nodded when the other girls squealed and scampered up the stairs, to see what "surprises" they could find.

Liz was about to follow and stop them, but froze when she heard the rear doorbell ring. "Who in the name…?" she muttered as she walked down the hall.

The gallows manor rear entrance wasn't as spectacular as the front. Actually, it was just a simple, single door, like you probably have at the back of YOUR home. Two lamps cast a glow which made a ten-foot-radius semicircle, just barely reaching the bushes at the edge of the yard.

When Liz opened the door, though, not a soul was to be seen. "Hello?" she asked, stepping onto the porch, still in her jammies and slippers, and looking around. Nothing.

Liz shrugged, and turned around, and was about to step inside when it happened. It felt like twelve dozen meteors were striking her all over her back. ALL over; the back of her head, her spine, her butt, the backs of her arms and legs; virtually every part of the rear human anatomy.

Liz squealed and leapt. After a few seconds of pain, though, the meteors stopped. Liz slowly placed a hand to the back of her head, and was terrified when she felt a lukewarm, sticky substance. When she pulled her hand away to look at it though, she saw that it wasn't blood. In fact, she didn't know what it was at all. Some sort of black-red-blue goo, like liquid paint in early mixing stages.

She froze suddenly; she heard something. Some sort of clicking noise, like ammunition being changed, ammunition of a machine gun or a rifle…

…or a paintball gun.

"IS THIS PAINT? YOU GOT PAINT IN MY FREAKING HAIR?" Liz wailed, spinning on her heel and squinting into the darkness yonder. "I swear to god, whoever the hell you are, come out right now, or I will-"

SPRAKITTA-SPRAKKITA-SPRAKKITA-SPRAK!

"…I should totally have seen that coming." Liz burbled through a mouthful of paint. Now she was, 360 degrees, COVERED in black, blue and red paint.

Then Liz screamed back into the house. "GIRLS! WE'VE GOT COMPANY, AND THEY'RE HEAVILY ARMED!" She howled.

A few seconds later, Tsubaki and Maka were at the door, staring at the paint-covered Liz. "Jesus, Liz, you lose a fight with a paintball squad?" Tsubaki asked, struggling not to laugh.

"In a sense, yes." Liz muttered, spitting paint out of her mouth.

Then there was an evil "BWA-HA-HA! One down, three to go!" from the bushes.

"BLACK*STAR, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Tsubaki roared, storming out of the house onto the porch, Maka close behind.

"Incoming!" Black*Star replied, remaining out of sight, his voice coming from somewhere to the girls' right.

"What kind of an answer is-" Tsubaki growled, then her pupils dialated as she saw a small, round, dark figure fly through the air. With skills of a master, she dived backwards.

Maka did not have the skills of a master.

PLOOSH!

Maka screamed as a brown balloon burst on her chest, completely splattering her with liquid.

"They have water balloons!" Liz cried.

"Thanks, captain obvious." Tsubaki added grouchily.

"Actually, she was only part right." Said Maka, trying to get the liquid out of her mouth.

"They have balloons, but that sure as hell wasn't water."

Liz recoiled. "what-"

"Syrup." Maka said quietly as she stuck a soaked finger in her mouth. "Generic brand, Uncle Jeremy's syrup."

"How can you be so sure of the brand?" Tsubaki asked.

"It's the kind me and soul always buy." Maka growled. "That probably means that-"

"ITS-A ME!" Soul cried as he leapt out of the bushes. The albino wore knee and elbow pads, a bulletproof vest, and a helmet, all blood red.

Soul carried a bucket, and dumped it onto Maka's head, temporarily obscuring her vision.

Maka ripped the bucket off, and spit out something fuzzy.

Wait… fuzzy?

Maka reached into her hair, and pulled out a white feather.

"These had better not be from the pillows at home." Maka said.

"And I'd better get outta here, but neither of those are right!" Soul laughed hysterically. "Damn, Maka, now you're not a bookworm; you're a book-CHICKEN! Buk-buk-baw-urk!" Soul's chicken noises were cut off by Tsubaki leaping out of nowhere, and putting him in a choke hold.

"Good work, Tsu!" Liz cried. "Don't kill him, though! We don't want to go to jail for murder."

"Speak for yourself, Liz." Maka growled in a terrible voice. "Jail'd be a fair price for what I'm going to do to this bastard."

Soul gurgled weakly.

"OY, LADIES!" Black*Star's voice once again rang out from the bushes. The three looked over, Tsubaki dragging Soul as she turned.

"SORRY 'BOUT THIS, SOUL!" Black*Star's voice cried as another dark shape appeared in the sky.

Even more terror appeared in Soul's slowly turning purple face. He struggled to escape from Tsubaki's grip, but she was seriously strong.

Liz and Maka managed to duck out of the way, but Tsubaki couldn't hold on to Soul AND dodge the incoming grenade of god knows what. She just stood there, mouth open rather stupidly, as a green balloon exploded right on her face.

Immidiately, a horrible stench filled the clearing. Liz and Maka pinched their noses as they stared at Tsubaki who was covered in… in…

"RAW SEWAGE, BITCHES!" Black*Star hollered from the bushes.

Tsubaki screamed, spitting desparately, even though a few drops of the crap (literally) had already slid down her throat. "YOU LITTLE PIECE OF-" Tsubaki then let fly a stream of curses so vile, grown sailors would blush.

"Damn, Tsu, I haven't heard those words since I lived on the streets." Liz said quietly as Tsubaki ran out of breath.

"GET 'IM!" Tsubaki screamed, trying to both run and drag the still-gurgling Soul. Liz and Maka also began to run towards the bushes, but all three stopped when they heard violent rustling.

"AAH? WHO- OUCH! HEY!" Black*Star's now fear filled voice sounded. "HEY, DON'T- YOUCH! I- ACK! OH NO! WAUUGH! STOP PLEASE! EEEEEEYAHHH!"

The three girls could only look on the invisible scene in silence as Black*Star was attacked by some unknown assassin.

Then his screams lowered, and the girls heard him whimper. "Please…" B*S squeaked. "no more… no more… no- oh. Oh god. No. you're not going to. You wouldn't. no. no! NO! NOO! PLEASE GOD NO! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII! IIIIIIYAAAAAA-HA-HA-HOOIE!" Black*Star screamed like a little girl. Under his screams could be heard the cracks of a paintball gun, oddly enough. Then there was a rather painful-sounding crunch, and Black*Star was silent.

Out of the bushes, dragging a beaten B*S by his balls, came…

"PATTY?" the three screamed.

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" The younger Thompson giggled.

B*S was whimpering with pain, wearing equipment identical to soul's, only blue, and his paintball gun was stuck in… a certain place.

Liz squeaked. "Patty… you stuck it up his-"

"And then fired it."

"YOU FIRED A PAINTBALL GUN DIRECTLY INTO HIS COLON?" Tsubaki shrieked. (now there's something you don't hear every day. –author.)

"jesus, Patty, he could have internal bleeding!" Maka said, shocked.

"Naah. If there was, blood would be seeping out!" Patty giggled.

"…well that's a relief, at least." Liz said quietly. Then she grinned evilly. "C'mon, girls, time for a little punishment game."

"YAYYYY PUNISHMENT GAME!" Patty cheered.

"Wait!" Soul gurgled. "We… we didn't work alone!"

Liz stopped, and leaned down, staring into Soul's eyes. "What're you talking about?"

There was a wild look in soul's eyes. "We're not going down without him!" He growled. "Liz! Look at your clothes!"

Liz did, even though it was almost painful to do so.

"Each gun fires paintballs of only one color! Check if you want!" Soul gurgled. "But looked! There are three colors on you!"

"He's right." Maka said, peering closer. "Blue, Red, AND black."

"Kid was in on it too!" Soul continued. "He's still around here somewhere!"

Liz gasped quietly. HER Kid had done this? Then she grew flames in her eyes. That little bastard was going to pay!

"Tsu! Maka! Drag these losers inside, tie them to chairs! Pat, sweep the front yard! I'll check the back!"

"Yes, sis." Said Patty, her and the other two terrified of Liz. She was more furious then Patty had ever seen her.

"Oh, and soul?" Liz said, looking at soul and smiling with false innocence. "if you behave well and don't squirm too much, we probably won't play vetrenarian with you."

Soul looked confused. "vetrenarian?" he asked.

"neutering, bitch!" said Patty, making a "snippy-snippy" motion with her fingers and grinning demonically.

Soul gulped, and was as limp as a ragdoll as Tsubaki and Maka dragged him and the unconscious Black*Star into the house.

"I'm off!" Patty chirped, and leapt back into the bushes.

Liz stalked into the bushes, her eyes adjusting to the darkness as she walked. How dare he! She was going to-

Then she stopped, and put a hand to her ear. It was very faint, but she heard sobbing.

Kid sobbing.

Liz grinned maliciously, he was already terrified. She silently crept towards the noise, and soon discovered Kid bawling his eyes out behind a bush, his paintball gun discarded at his side, along with equipment like Soul's and B*S', but black. Completely helpless.

"I Didn't mean to…" Kid whimpered. Liz stopped. She was still out of sight, he must be muttering to thin air. Reciting lines for what he was going to say? She hid around the corner of the bush, listening.

"They forced me to." Kid murmered. "They threatened me…"

Liz' heart broke. So he didn't want to do this. Slowly, she crept next to him. He didn't notice her, his face buried in his hands. She placed an arm over his shoulders.

Kid promptly let out a scream, and scooted away from Liz, stopping only when his back hit a tree about ten feet away. "d-d-d-don't hurt meee!" he howled, holding up his fingers in a cross.

"Relax, Kid. I won't hurt you." Liz comforted.

"y-you promise?" Kid stuttered, tears streaming down his face.

"Yes." Liz said, crawling up to him and sitting next to him. He didn't recoil this time; as a matter of fact, he actually launched himself on her as soon as she got settled, and hugged her tightly, bawling all the while.

"Kid, what's wrong? I said you aren't going to be hurt…" Liz said, hugging him back.

After a minute, Kid sighed, and leaned back against the tree. Liz sat next to him, and they both stared up at the stars.

"I always was afraid of girl slumber parties." Kid began. "As long as I can remember, I was terrified of them."

"Why? All we do is mess around." Liz said.

"Well, your messing around usually winds up with the house being totally messed up." Kid said. Liz blushed. It was the truth after all.

"But that's not the real reason.

"Technically, I'm not scared of the sleepovers themselves. I'm scared of what you guys would do if I ever try to crash one. You're going to capture me, then tease me, then tie me up and torture me…"

"Kid…" Liz whispered, but Kid was on a roll now, tears streaming down his face.

"You're gonna mock me, then you're gonna strip me naked, then you're going to wreck my house and force me to watch, then you're going to put really embarrassing makeup on me, then you're gonna take pictures of me and put them on your facebook, then you're going to stick me with a branding iron, then you're gonna spank me…"

Liz watched in horror, as Kid continued to rattle off increasingly disturbing torture methods. She had no idea he was THIS scared of ANYTHING…

"AND THEN YOU'RE GONNA CUT OFF MY BA-HA-HALLS!" Kid wailed, hugging Liz once more.

"Kid." Liz said, firmly but gently, as Kid hugged her. "you've been watching too much TV. We're not going to do any of that stuff."

"Y-you're not?" Kid asked, looking her in the eyes.

"God, no! that stuff was disgusting!" Liz said, smiling weakly at Kid. "no, we were going to just force you guys to watch chick flicks with us."

"Really?" Kid said gleefully, his eyes lighting up. He loved mushy romance movies. Then he coughed, and returned to a more professional expression.

"Of course, if you really want, I'll let you sneak away, tell the others you managed to escape." Liz said.

"NO! I mean… no, that's ok. I can take it like a man." Kid said, struggling to hide a happy smile.

Liz laughed, then hugged him. "You're so cute, Kid." She said quietly. Then she stood up, and helped Kid up, and led him into the house.

The duo walked into the family room, where the other girls had set up shop, sleeping bags and stuffed animals everywhere, Black*Star and Soul tied up and gagged in chairs in the center of the room. Kid whimpered, but Liz patted him on the back. Then she called to Maka, Tsubaki and Patty, and the four did a little group huddle.

After a minute of hushed whispers, the other three began to drag the two tied up boys up the stairs. "What are they doing?" Kid asked as Liz turned on the TV and activated Netflix.

"I thought I'd give us a little privacy. Those guys will be watching their flicks upstairs, while we get some alone time." Liz sat on the couch, and Kid sat next to her. Liz maneuvered the cursor on the screen with the remote, entered her password, then selected "steel magnolias", one of Kid's favorites. Then she relaxed, and lay her head on Kid's lap. She felt his hands run through her hair, and she knew he was smiling.

As the opening credits appeared on the screen, one by one, Liz contemplated how the other girls wouldn't be having the other boys watch chick flicks, no siree. In fact, Kid had given her some great ideas, and she was sure the others would practice them all.

Other then the ball-cutting one.

No idea WHERE he got that.


	45. Laughter

Liz sat on the couch reading a book. Patty sat next to her, reading a book upside-down.

"Say, Pat?" Liz asked.

"Yeeeees?" Patty replied, smiling.

Liz sighed. "Don't you ever wish that Kid had more fun with us, and didn't lock himself up wherever for hours at a time?"

Patty shrugged. "Maybe." She replied. "Do you?"

"YES!" Liz gave a small outburst, before restraining herself once more. "I mean… all I want is to get him to show some emotion… you know, cry or really laugh."

Patty put a finger to her chin. "I know!" she said. "I'll go tell him some jokes! Wait here." Then she bounced up and skipped away, leaving Liz alone on the couch.

Liz continued to read, but about 15 minutes later, she was interrupted by the sound of Kid yelling.

"NO! NOOO! BY FATHER, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! NOOOOO!"

Liz looked up, startled, but when she heard Patty laughing, she assumed that Patty had ruined another of Kid's suits or something. She shrugged and looked back to her book.

Not five minutes later, though, Patty marched in with a triumphant look on her face, dragging a resigned-looking Kid behind her.

"Liz, Kid has something to ask you." Patty chirped, standing the shinigami in front of Liz. "G'wan, tell 'er."

Kid looked shocked. "What? No! I thought you were going to tell-"

"Nope nope nope! It's part of it that YOU ask her!" Patty cheered gleefully.

"Part of what?" Liz asked, setting her magazine down.

Kid sighed a deep, shuddering sigh. "Liz…" he said, then he nearly choked on his next words.

"Tickle me."

Liz blinked. Then twice more. "Beg pardon?" she asked.

Kid sighed again, and recited like he'd practiced it: "I want you to tickle me until I puke, Liz. I want you to put me into hysterics."

Liz stared at Kid and Patty, expecting it to be some bizarre joke, but they both looked serious (Well, Patty never looked serious, but you get the idea).

"Jeez, Kid, did you lose a bet or something?" Liz asked, raising an eyebrow as she set aside her magazine.

Kid moaned, then he plopped down on the couch. "Let's get this over with." He muttered.

"Um…" Liz said, not sure exactly what to do now.

"C'mon, sis! Here, I'll get us started." Patty said, sitting down on Kid's opposite side. Then she poked his ribcage, giggling.

Kid's reaction was immediate, he squeaked and gave a little start. "Patty-i-really-don't-want-to-do-this." He said quickly, holding his sides.

"Too bad, buddy! You know the rules!" Patty said, her grin turning malicious. She raised her hands and moved closer to Kid; he scooted back, almost running into Liz.

"NOOOOO!" Kid screamed as Patty tackled him, knocking him to the floor. Then they were a mass of laughing, squirming tangled limbs.

Liz stared as Kid laughed helplessly on the floor as Patty mercilessly tickled his sides. This was probably more laughing she'd heard Kid do then the rest of her time with him put together. She watched with amusement, with a small smirk, as she slowly circled around the two.

Tears began to flow from Kid's eyes as he desparately grabbed at Liz' ankle. "Li-hi-hizzz! He-he-heellp! Pleee-hee-heeease!" Kid cried as he flailed.

Liz grew a evil grin identical to her sibling's. "Oh, ok, I'll help!" she chuckled as she knelt down on front of Kid's toes. Teasingly, she scraped her manicured nails on his pale soles.

Kid's squealing turned to screams of laughter. "NO-HO-HOOOO!" he wailed, laughing involuntarily. "NO-HO-HOT MY FEE-HEE-HEEET!"

Liz' smirk widened as she tickled more vigorously. She began to laugh herself at the sight of her stiff, tight boyfriend laughing like his life depended on it.

They were like that for several minutes; Patty viciously tickling Kid's sides and stomach, Liz weaving her fingers over his feet and between his toes. All Kid could do was laugh helplessly.

After about five minutes of this, though, Patty stopped tickling Kid. "Uh, sis? Maybe we should give Kiddo-kun a break." She said in a rather shocked voice.

"Why? This is awesome!" Liz cheered as she squirted honey over Kid's poor soles, then actually licked them with her tongue. Kid was tearing his hair out, he was so helplessly filled with laughter.

"Um…" Patty said, pointing behind her, at Kid's crotch. "…he peed himself."

Liz' head whipped up, her gleeful expression replaced with one of shock. Sure enough, a large dark spot was spreading through Kid's trousers.

"…or he came. I'm not sure." Patty said, poking the dark spot.

Liz quickly pulled Patty off of Kid, and the shinigami immediately leapt to his feet, and scampered off to his room, still laughing and holding his aching sides, leaving a trail of honey footprints in his wake.

"Jesus Christ…" Liz said quietly. "I didn't mean to make him PEE himself…"

"well, he IS incredibly sensitive on his feet." Patty said.

"WHAT?" Liz yelped, staring at Patty.

"Y'know those special black socks he wears? Turns out they're some kind of anti-tickle sock." Patty giggled, smiling.

"Aw, geez… I'd better go apologize." Liz said. she glared at Patty. "You and I are having a talk later, little missy."

Patty couldn't stop giggling as Liz walked up the stairs to Kid's room.

Xxxxxxxx

"Kid?" Liz said as she peeked her head into his room. "You in here, babe?"

"No, I'm down the hall." Kid grouched as he sat against the headboard, arms crossed, not looking at Liz.

Liz slowly walked over, and stroked Kid's hair, like he liked her to do. "Kid, I didn't mean to mentally scar you or anything. Honestly, I didn't."

"Why'd you agree to torturing me, then?" Kid asked, looking at her with dark eyes.

"Oh, c'mon, Kid. It wasn't TORTURE."

Kid raised an eyebrow at her.

"…ok, fine. Semi-torture." Liz admitted. Then she sighed. "It's just… I've never seen you laugh or smile like that before."

"Well good. Laughter implies-"

"Yes, yes. you think happiness implies weakness, Kid, but it doesn't. happiness is one of the things which makes us human."

Kid looked at her with a scalding gaze. "I'm not human, Elizabeth."

Liz stopped stroking Kid's hair, and looked at him.

Almost all the time, with all the fun they had together, she forgot just what he was. He wasn't human, he wasn't even mortal. He was a freaking GOD OF DEATH, and nothing could change that.

Liz slowly put her arms around him. "You're human to me…" she whispered to his ear.

"Why would I WANT to be a stupid human?" Kid cried, pushing her off him roughly. "Why be human when I am so much more? My very NAME bespeaks the destruction I could befall upon this helpless planet!"

"Kid…"

"I am death! DEATH ITSELF!"

"KID!" Liz cried desparately.

"WHAT?" Kid roared at her.

"You're using the scary voice…" Liz whimpered, cowering from him.

Kid touched his throat. "I was?" he said quietly. "I didn't even realize it."

The scary voice was a voice which Kid spoke in when he was threatening someone, or was really, really pissed off. It sounded like his regular voice, but with a definite undertone of something… something that wasn't human.

"Kid… please…" Liz leaned back towards him, slowly beginning to stroke his hair again. "…Being human doesn't imply your weak… it implies strength."

"How? If I'm even a tiny part human, I'll be flawed! I can't be flawed! Not me!" Kid wailed, burying his face in his hands.

"Kid… don't you understand?" Liz whispered, hugging Kid tightly. "Flaws are what MAKE us human.

"Our flaws make us perfect."

Kid stared at her, astonished. "How… huh… wha?" he mumbled.

Liz sighed. She should have known it would be pointless to discuss this kind of thing with him.

"Kid…" Liz said, not letting go of him. "Just… don't be afraid to laugh, ok?"

"laugh…" Kid whispered. Then he gave a small chuckle. "Like that?" he asked Liz.

"More forcefully." Liz said gently.

Kid chuckled louder. "How's that?" he questioned.

"Not nearly enough." Liz smirked. "C'mon, Kid. You can do it. Try as hard as you can."

"Heh…" Kid chuckled. "heh heh… heh… heh… ah ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha haa! Bwa ha ha ha ha! HMMWUAA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA! RHEAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAAAAAAA!"

Kid stopped suddenly. "I was using the scary voice again, wasn't i?"

Liz nodded, whimpering. Then she smiled weakly. "Looks like you got revenge…" she said quietly.

Kid stared at her, not understanding. Then he did a double take downwards. "Elizabeth, that's disgusting!" Kid howled, leaping away from Liz.

Or more specifically, the dark spot in Liz' jeans.

"So… too much?" Kid asked.

Liz laughed weakly. "Yeah, not quite THAT forcefully, Kid." She said, standing up and leaving for a fresh change of pants.

Xxxxxxxx

Dinner that evening.

"Say, Kid, I forgot to ask." Liz said as she twirled her spaghetti. "Why did you let us tickle you in the first place?"

Kid blushed and suddenly became very interested in the patterns of his spaghetti noodles. Patty giggled. "It already happened, you may as well tell her." Patty said, looking at Kid with big eyes.

Kid took another deep, shuddering sigh. "It was a bet." He said to Liz.

Liz did a spit-take. "Kid, you should KNOW never to accept Patty's bets!" She said as she mopped up the mess. "Don't you remember the sailor moon incident?"

Kid shuddered. "Don't remind me." He muttered. "But seriously, Elizabeth, I thought for SURE I was going to win this one!"

"Why? What was it?" Liz questioned, tossing the soaked napkin into a nearby garbage can.

"She challenged me to a game of chess."

Liz did another spit take. "And she BEAT you?" She said incredulously, not even bothering with the splatter this time.

"I know, right?" Kid said rather weakly. "I mean, she just comes up to me and says that if i play a game of chess with her, the loser has to do whatever the winner wants for an hour."

"No, seriously, she BEAT YOU? YOU?" Liz cried.

"I know, right? One moment, I'm taking her queen, the next, I'm left with a horse, a couple pawns, and my king!" Kid wailed.

Kid turned his head and looked at Patty. "Seriously, she's like inspector Clusoe from the pink panther movies. Total ditz 99% of the time, but when that one percent kicks in, you're fucked. No offense, Patricia."

"None taken." Patty giggled.


	46. At The Beach

"we're going to the bee-eeach! The bee-eeach! The bee-eeach! We're going to the bee-eeach! The beach the beach the beach!"

"Patricia, in the name of father, STOP SINGING!" Kid cried, his hands almost crushing the steering wheel.

"Or at least pick a different song!" Liz said, looking around at her. "You've been repeating that verse over and over for the past ten minutes!"

"Tee hee! Sowwy." Patty giggled. "Row row row your boat…"

"Well, at least we're getting a little variety now." Kid muttered to Liz, who giggled.

"Anyways, I didn't know you had a beach house, Kid." Liz said.

"Correction: YOU have a beach house." Kid said, smiling.

Liz gasped. "you mean…"

"…It's a present for you!" Kid finished, smiling.

Liz squealed, and hugged Kid, who somehow managed to keep hold of the wheel. "You're the greatest boyfriend EVER!" she cried.

"Actually, I'm more doing this for myself then you guys." Kid said. "This gives you guys a place to throw your parties without me having to worry about you messing up the manor."

"I see." Liz said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, we're here!" Patty cried, pressing her face to the window.

Liz looked out to see sparkling blue water, soft sand, a few people here and there, and a laughing sun high in the sky.

"Death beach. Located just over ten minutes from death city, it's among the most popular beaches in soulrealm." Kid said.

"Wow, you sound like a tour brochure." Liz said. "By the way, just wondering: do you guys name EVERYTHING 'death so-so', or is there some sort of pattern?"

"Well, with the exception of gallows manor and a few other places, we only put 'death' before the places me and my father own." Kid said, continuing to drive.

"…so everything's named 'death whatever' then." Liz smirked.

"Actually, yes." Kid said. "haven't you noticed? 'deathbucks, mc-death-alds, burger death, chuck-e-death'…"

"Huh. I never really thought about it before." Liz said.

"Wait a minute… I've been paying 5.99 for my mocha frappuchino latte at a store which my BOYFRIEND owns? Don't I get a girlfriend discount or something?"

"You are."

"…I pity the other customers."

"Kid, why are the houses on stilts?" Patty asked, pressing her face to the opposite window to see rows of packed-together houses, all on thin but sturdy stilts.

"The legs are so that the house can move around and pick up food, Patricia."

"Why don't regular houses have legs then?"

"Hey look, a giraffe on the beach."

"WHERE?" Patty cried, leaping back to the other side of the car and pressing her face against the window (again.)

"That'll keep her occupied." Kid whispered to Liz, who chuckled.

"Which one's ours?" Liz questioned.

Kid rounded a corner.

"Oh." Liz said quietly.

The beach house which was surely theirs was standing alone, not ten feet from the ocean. It was enormous, and there was a huge bent-over death insignia, like those on the dwma, on its roof. Four smaller, similar death insignias served as the house's legs, their teeth digging into the sand. The house itself was the size of a penthouse apartment, and completely white, blending with the skulls.

"Wow!" the girls cried as Kid pulled up next to the house.

They all climbed up the stairs and went inside.

Inside the house, there was a bar, a spiraling glass staircase, a huge tv, a closet full of bathing suits, luxury beds…

"Christ, Kid, how much money do you HAVE?" Liz asked, running her hand over a plush armrest of a couch. "This must have cost a MILLION dollars!"

"Only a hundred thousand, and I built it from scratch." Kid said, smiling.

"Wait… you spend a HUNDRED THOUSAND on a HOUSE, yet on our shopping trips, we can only spend a thousand dollars each a trip?" Liz said indignantly.

"Hey, this was a one-time purchase. You guys shop so much, in a single year you spend six times as much as this house is worth. And that's not including your trickery." Kid said, raising an eyebrow.

"Fair enough." Liz said.

"Boing! Boing! Boing!" Patty sang as she bounced on one of the huge beds.

Xxxxxxxx

A few minutes later, our trio was walking across the beach, Liz carrying a umbrella, Patty carrying a picnic basket, Kid lugging a cooler. They found a good spot and sat down.

Liz peeled off her shirt and shorts to reveal her two-piece red swimsuit, sighing with relief as she felt the cool air rush against her skin. Then she looked over and blushed as Kid took off his shirt, leaving him only in his black swim trunks.

"Oh, we're not skinny-dipping?" Patty asked, frozen in the act of taking off her shirt.

"Of course not. You didn't…" Kid trailed off.

"Um, I need to go and grab my suit. I'll be back in one second." Patty said, scampering back in the direction of the house.

"That little…" Kid said, rolling his eyes. Liz chuckled. Then they spread out their towels and opened the umbrella, and laid down.

"Isn't it a beautiful view, Kid?" Liz asked, staring at the crystal water.

"It sure is…" Kid said, staring at Liz.

"So… swimming time?"

"Not yet. First I gotta put on sunscreen." Liz said, pulling a light yellow bottle out of the basket.

Kid waited rather impatiently, until eventually Liz said, "Aw, pooh bear." Kid looked over and almost got a nose bleed; Liz lay on her chest, her top unstrapped and laying to the side.

"Kid, I can't reach my back." Liz said, waggling the sunscreen bottle at Kid. "Would you mind rubbing it on?"

Now Kid actually DID get a nosebleed. He took the bottle from Liz and squirted some into his palm. Liz lay her face into the blanket and sighed as she felt Kid's muscular hands slowly knead in the sunscreen all over her slim back.

When it was about halfway covered, though, Kid stopped. "Liz… look…" he said rather weakly.

Liz looked up, and glanced at Kid. Then she looked the way he was looking, and her eyes grew wide.

Patty was skipping back towards them, and she was wearing a suit made of so little material, it would be a stretch to call it a g-string.

Liz looked back at Kid, and saw his nosebleed had increased, and miniscule movements of his eyes indicated he was watching Patty's huge breasts bounce up and down as she skipped.

"Like it?" Patty said, leaning down and looking at Kid, smiling innocently. Kid became in danger of dying of blood loss when she gave him generous helping of cleavage.

Hypnotized, Kid poked one of Patty's breasts, making it sway. She giggled. "that tickles!" she said happily.

"ah-HEM!" Liz said, clearing her throat loudly.

This seemed to snap Kid out of his trance, and he continued to put sunscreen on Liz' back. Her audience gone, Patty pouted. She couldn't stand not being the center of attention.

Kid was continuing to rub sunscreen into Liz' breasts when something poked his ear. He glanced over, and was shocked: Patty's breasts were less then an inch from his head, and she was poking him with her nipples. "Play with meee…" she whined.

"Patty, go tease some cabana boys or something." Liz moaned, tired of interruptions in her massage - I mean, sunscreen application.

Patty, of course, refused to leave, and continued to tease Kid, swiveling and causing her breasts to swing from side to side. Kid watched them, like a pendulum, his eyes going back and forth..

"That's it. Patty, can I talk to you for a minute?" Liz said angrily. Not waiting for an answer, she quickly put her top back on, and pushed Patty away, out of Kid's earshot.

"Look, you want attention, and you have an easy way to get it, and I respect that." Liz said quietly to her sister, in a voice of controlled rage. "But there are, like, fifty boys on this beach. Tease any one OTHER then my boyfriend, ok?"

"But Kid's the funniest of them all! Don't you see the way he squirms and blushes?" Patty giggled.

"Ok, I admit his shy blush is insanely cute, but-" Liz said, but was cut off by a loud yell.

"YA-HOO!"

"Ohhhhh god." Liz groaned, then she turned around to face who she would know would be there: Black*Star was leaping from umbrella to umbrella, being a showoff, wearing a pair of blue swim trunks. Liz tried to avoid looking under them as he leapt high in the air.

Then he spotted Liz, and he leapt over to her, sticking the landing perfectly. "Heya, Liz! Where's Patty?" he said.

"Black*Star!" a voice cried, and Tsubaki ran up, wearing a black bikini (which still had twice as much material as Patty's). She tried to pull B*S away from the girls, but to no avail; he was short, but he was DAMN strong.

"Hiiiii!" Patty cheered, coming out from behind Liz. B*S immediately got a nosebleed from her new outfit. She giggled.

"Liz, Tsu, go take five, willya? I wanna talk to Patty… alone." Black*Star said, not taking his eyes off Patty.

"Sure, Black*Star." Liz chuckled, and she and Tsubaki crept back to Kid's blanket.

Tsubaki, being the perv she was, Immidiately got a nosebleed when she got to Liz' towel, because of the shirtless, swim-trunks-wearing Kid. Liz didn't mind; though Tsubaki was a perv, she wouldn't dream of treading on another girl's territory (unlike Patty).

"Hello, Elizabeth. Hello, Tsubaki." Kid said, nodding at the girls in turn. "Elizabeth, the sunscreen's all ready whenever you are."

Liz blushed; she'd almost forgotten about that bit. She lay down on her chest again, and slipped her top off to make herself more comfortable. Once again, she felt Kid's muscular hands slowly knead all over her back. As he did, she talked with Tsubaki, about girl stuff (Lipstick, celebrities, what colors were in season, etc).

All good things must come to an end, and all too soon, Kid took his hands off of Liz' back. "awww…" Liz said as she slowly sat back up, putting her top on again.

Suddenly, Tsubaki gasped, and put a hand over her mouth. With her other hand, she pointed. Kid and Liz looked where she was pointing, and also gasped.

Patty was kissing Black*Star like the sun wasn't going to shine tomorrow. Where their hands were shall not be mentioned.

"Ah, young love." Liz sighed. Tsubaki giggled. When Kid didn't say anything, she looked over at him.

Kid was furious; his muscles tensed, his fists clenched, his face red with fury. One could almost see the smoke coming out of his nostrils.

Kid moved incredibly fast; one second he was kneeling next to Liz, the next he was running incredibly fast across the beach, the next he was holding B*S in the air by his throat.

Patty, of course, laughed like a lunatic, as Kid crushed Black*Star's windpipe with one powerful hand, him dangling in midair, using his other hand to repeatedly punch Black*Star's balls.

"Jesus!" Liz cried as she and Tsubaki leapt to their feet and ran towards the other three. They each grabbed an arm and managed to pry Kid away from Black*Star.

After a few seconds, Black*Star dropped to the sand, and laid there on his side, clutching his balls and gasping for breath, his face slowly returning from blue to normal color.

"Kid, what the hell was that?" Liz cried, staring at Kid.

"Nobody defaces my weapons like that. Not even one of my best friends. NOBODY!" Kid roared.

"I didn't mind." Patty said meekly.

"well I do!" Kid growled. "Do you have any idea what it would do to your, no, to OUR reputation if you were seen kissing some random boy like a lowlife pro-"

Liz quickly leapt up and kissed Kid hard, wrapping her arms around his chest. When he got in a rage, this was the best way to calm him down.

Kid looked indignant for a second, trying to resist Liz' hypnotizing hold, but then he gave in, his eyelids drooping closed and his arms wrapping around Liz' back.

"Practice what you preach…" Patty muttered, folding her arms. Then a hand took hers, and she looked up and saw Black*Star smiling at her.

"You wanna take this somewhere more private?" he asked.

Patty giggled. "sure!" the two little lovebirds ran away to find a proper hiding spot.

"I'd better go chaperone." Tsubaki said quietly, backing away from Kid and Liz, who were still kissing. Then she turned around, and sprinted after the other two, leaving a trail of nose-blood in her wake.

After a minute, Liz slowly pulled away from Kid, and he began to set her down, but Liz moaned. "I'm dizzy… carry me…" she groaned, draping an arm over her forehead. Kid suspected she was faking, but he obliged, putting her knees in one elbow and carrying her bridal-style.

"Kid?" Liz asked as they walked (well, Kid walked). "You'd never leave me for Patty, right?"

"Never in a billion years." Kid said, firm yet caring.

Liz wrapped her arms around his arm, listening to the blood under his pale skin. "It's just…" she said quietly. "…the way you looked at her earlier…"

"Liz, think." Kid said, still walking. "If you saw me in a speedo, and my crotch was a foot away from your face, what would you do?"

"Point taken." Liz giggled, clutching Kid tighter to her chest.

After what was really about thirty seconds, but felt like a glorious year to the two, they reached their beach blanket.

Which had two large, giggling lumps under it, and Tsubaki standing off to the side.


	47. irrelevant chap: hug session!

Kid, Liz and Patty stand in a pure white room, with no doors or windows.

"Where are we?" Kid asks, looking around.

"This isn't in the script…" Liz said, pulling a packet out of nowhere and checking it.

"OOO… it's shiny." Patty said, feeling one of the walls.

"You're right, Patricia." Kid said, also placing his fingers on the wall. "The walls appear to be luminescent, causing this white light. There doesn't appear to be any glowing cave fungus or anything natural for this explanation. Perhaps the walls are really lights-"

"Sheesh, Kid. Anyone ever tell you you talk too much?"

The voice came from a corner of the room. The three look over to see a figure which was definitely not there before.

It was a teen, about 16 or 17. He wore a black battlesuit, with spikes coming out of its shoulders, wrists, knees… pretty much anywhere you can think of (no, not there, you perv). His hands were horrible black claws, slightly stubbier then a average human finger. His feet were normal about halfway to the toes, then morphed into two huge prongs. The battlesuit didn't look like the teen was wearing it. It looked like it was a part of him.

He had a green Mohawk made of three wicked-looking neon green spikes. His left eye, though, was the strangest of all. It had a pitch-black sclera, and a golden yellow iris, almost exactly like kid's. he didn't have a pupil, though. Just the sclera (white part of a normal eye) and iris (colored part of a normal eye).

"Um… hello?" Liz said cautiously to this stranger.

"Hi, Liz." The stranger said.

Patty poked one of his spikes, then gave a small yelp and pulled away, clutching her pricked finger, from which fell a drop of blood.

"Those aren't ornamental, you know. Be glad I didn't wear my venom-tipped model." The teen said, glancing at Patty.

"Who are you? How'd we get here?" Kid questioned.

"Believe it or not, you are all in a fanfiction, and I am the author of your story." The teen said.

The others stared at him. "Jokes are funnier when they aren't told in such a serious voice." Kid said.

"It's not a joke." The teen said quietly.

"You honestly expect us to believe that-" Patty began to say, but she was cut off when the teen flicked his finger, and her head morphed into that of a giraffe. Liz screamed, and even Kid gave a start, but before either could do anything, the author flicked his finger again, and her head morphed back to normal. "That was trippy." Patty giggled, unfazed. "do it again!"

"maybe another time." The author replied.

"Seriously, who the hell are you?" Liz asked.

"You may call me Z." the teen (Z) said.

"And why are you interrupting this supposed story?" Kid asked.

"Well, believe it or not, we've almost reached fifty chapters in our story." Z replied, smiling. "we're on chap 47, right now, so I decided to celebrate and do something different!"

"Wait… why do it now? Why not wait till chap 50?" Patty asked.

"Well, I have a series which I'm planning to run, and I don't want to break it up with this silly little chap." Z said.

There was a bit of a pregnant pause. "Lamest party ever." Patty said, looking around.

"Patty! Don't be rude!" Kid said, looking at her.

"I'm just sayin'…" Patty said, making a cute little pose. "…no balloons or cake or anything! What kind of a party is this?"

"It's not a party." Z answered her. "It's a hug session."

"A what session." Liz said blankly.

"a hug for everyone who's been especially nice about this story from Kid!"

Kid paused. "Hey, wait a minute!" Kid said, holding up his hands.

Z morphed his hand into a black battleaxe, and somehow began using it to clean his fingernails. "Yes?" he said casually.

"Never mind." Kid gulped.

"Atta boy." Z said. "Now, for our first guest…"

He morphed his hand back to normal, then pointed to his side. A girl in a pink dress with brown hair popped into existence.

"This is cyanide6." Z said, smiling. "She's been a bit quiet lately, but she still gets a hug."

Cyanide looked at Kid shyly. "C'mon!" Z said, gently pushing her between her shoulderblades. "He doesn't bite."

"If he did, his mouth would be all bloody!" Patty said, prying open Kid's lips and showing his pearly teeth.

Kid swatted Patty away. Then he walked over to Cyanide and gave her a big hug. She blushed, feeling his arms wrap around her.

Then Kid was hugging air, and Cyanide was gone. Z pulled a checklist out of nowhere, and made a mark. "Ok, next guest." He said, waving a hand.

A girl with black hair and black glasses popped out of nowhere. She wore a black tee with the death insignia, and jeans.

"Oh… my… god…" she said, staring at Kid in astonishment.

"This is 8fangirl8." Z said. "She's a huge fan."

"It's DEATH THE KID! I WUVV YOUUUU!" fangirl cried, leaping on Kid and hugging him tightly, her shoes dangling in the air. Kid blushed, then the breath was squeezed out of him, and his red face turned to blue.

"Oh, hi, L and P!" Fangirl said, waving over Kid's shoulder

"Watch those hands…" Liz growled.

"Hee hee! Kiddo's goin' purple!" Patty giggled.

Then Kid could breathe again, and he took a deep breath. He looked down, and saw that Fangirl also had vanished.

"And finally, last but most certainly not least…" Z said, waving his hand once again. Out of thin air popped a teen. He had long brown hair reaching his ears, dark brown eyes and tanned skin. He was about 5'8". He wore a red short sleeved shirt with white stripes running down the sides, and long black pants with white stripes also running down the sides.

"Riku Ashwood. How's it goin', man?" Z said, holding up a hand for him to high-five. He was still rather stunned, though, and didn't move.

"Another hug for this one, I suppose?" Kid said, walking towards Riku, his arms out.

Riku snapped out of his trance, and deftly dodged under Kid's arm. Kid turned around, confused, and saw that Riku was hugging Patty rather then him.

"Patty, I'm your biggest fan! Say something funny!" Riku said happily.

"The duck goes moo!" Patty said, not losing a beat.

Riku laughed and hugged her tighter. "You're so freaking ADORABLE!" he said.

"Aww, thanks! You're cute too!" Patty said, hugging him back.

Then Riku disappeared, and Patty was also hugging air. "Hey, I wasn't done with him!" she said indignantly.

"Sorry, Pat. We have someone else waiting for their turn." Z replied.

"I thought you said Riku was the last." Liz said.

"Well… not quite…" said Z, slowly walking along the length of the wall. Then, lightning fast, he punched clear through the wall, making plaster fall through. There was a small squeak behind the wall, and Z pulled out a small squirming animal.

An eevee.

(google if you don't know what it is – author)

"a-HA! I knew you were there, eeveebethfejvu!" Z said triumphantly. "You may not comment or watch or favorite, but I do definitely know you're here!"

"ee-VEE!" eeveebeth cried, squiggling, trying to escape.

"Kid, do the honors, will you?" said Z, tossing the eevee to Kid. Kid caught it, and clutched it tightly to his pectorals.

"Eev…" Eeveebeth said, calming down and spreading her tiny legs over Kid's chest.

"Wow, this li'l thing's really soft." Kid said.

"Lemme try!" Patty said, rushing over and stroking Eeveebeth's fur. "OOO! It's like a bearskin rug!"

"Patty… how do you know what that feels like…" said Liz, also stroking Eeveebeth's fur.

Then the Eevee was gone, leaving Kid yet again hugging empty air.

"How come I didn't get to hug anyone?" Liz said indignantly.

"Don't worry, Liz. here." Z said, and he walked up and hugged her tightly. "I always wanted to do that." Z said, walking away again, leaving Liz rather stunned.

"Well, that's everyone!" Z said happily. Then he waves at you. "Tune in tomorrow (hopefully) for what I'm hoping will be a particularly great series!"

"Who's he talking to?" Liz muttered to the others.

"I think he's insane." Patty giggled.

"Why yes, I am!" Z said, looking over at them and smiling. "However did you guess?


	48. Torch Pass pt 1

"Ow, f###!" Kid said, putting a hand to his forehead.

"Something wrong?" Liz asked, looking at him from her spot on the couch.

"Shhh! I can't hear the people talking!" Patty said, pointing at the TV.

"It… it's nothing…" Kid mumbled. "I've just been getting these killer headaches lately."

"Want me to get you something for it?" Liz asked.

"Nah, I'll suck it up, I-" Kid said, but was cut off by a "deedle-dee!"

"My phone…" Kid muttered, patting his pockets. He found his phone and pulled it out, but it was silent. Yet the ringing continued. "What…" Kid said. then an expression of realization came over his face. "ohhh…" he reached into another pocket and pulled out a compact mirror.

"Kid, you use makeup?" Liz asked.

"You're so pale, you could seriously use some good blush." Patty added.

"No, no. this is a way for me to talk to father. Sort of a emergency hotline." Kid said, flipping the small mirror open.

In the mirror, a small image of shinigami-sama appeared.

"Hi, Kid!" Shinigami said cheerily.

"Hello, father. What's the emergency." Kid said calmly.

"Nope, no emergency! I just was wondering…" Shinigami-sama paused, looking down for a second. "Kid…"

"…do you love me?"

Kid stared at the mirror.

"This isn't going to be like one of those homo things, is it?" Patty said bluntly.

"No, I mean… do you love me like a father?" Shinigami-sama said.

"Um… I guess…" Kid said rather uncertainly.

"Kid. Tell your papa you love him." Liz said, cuffing Kid lightly on the head.

"Ok… I love you father." Kid said.

Shinigami-sama nodded. "You mean it?" he said in an almost serious tone of voice.

"Yes, father." Kid said, managing a weak smile.

Shinigami-sama nodded once more. "Thanks, Kid. That's all I needed to know. And…" Shinigami-sama raised a hand and placed it on his mirror. "You'll be a better reaper then I ever was. I garuntee it."

Then the image was gone, and the trio were left looking at their own faces.

"That was random." Patty said.

"Yes, it was…" Kid said, still staring at the mirror. "OW, jeez!" he clapped his hand to his forehead once again. "I'm sorry, girls, these stupid headaches are really wearing me out. I'm going to turn in for the night, if you don't mind."

"C'mon, Kid! The night's still young! It's only 8:00!" Patty chirped.

"All the more reason, then." Kid said, heading up the stairs, still holding his forehead, his long locks drooping over his fingers.

Liz looked after him, worried. Patty laughed as somebody got impaled onscreen.

Xxxxxxxx

"Thanks, Kid. That's all I needed to know."

Shinigami-sama wiped the mirror clean, then turned around, sighing.

He was dying.

He didn't have the heart to tell Kid, but sometimes, Shinigami die relatively early on. It's almost as if some power, greater then death itself, at a random point, just says "oops, time's up. You're dead." and poof. One dead Shinigami, with a side order of fries.

It was Shinigami-sama's time now. He could feel the gnawing sense of dread, trying to pull him down into the black void. He was hanging on, but he couldn't for much longer.

Best to get it over with.

Shinigami sighed once more. Then he tilted his head back to the sky, closed his eyes, felt himself hanging on to the cliff above the bottomless abyss…

…and let go.

Xxxxxxxx

Kid tossed and turned in his bed. The pain in his head was hurting worse and worse, occasionally spiking even greater.

Maybe a drink of water would help. He slowly got out of bed, and slowly began to walk to the kitchen.

Then the pain hurt worse then ever, and Kid was immobilized, then forced to his knees. His nails left gouges in the polished wood floor as railroad spikes were driven through his head. Shaking and shuddering, his head shot up, and he struggled to his feet.

He just so happened to be facing his mirror.

As Kid looked in the mirror, he saw his lines of sanzu were glowing with an almost blinding light. Then, to his astonishment, as the largest spike of all was smashed through his head, the lines floated, then slowly encircled his head, until they were whole.

At almost any other time, Kid would be estatic. But the incredible pain in his head, the lines conjoining…

…and above all, his father's words…

"You'll be better then I ever was…"

Then Kid gasped, and everything went black.

xxxxxxxx

Liz and Patty were still watching TV when it happened. A noise ripped through the house, so loud that it nearly burst Liz' eardrums. It continued for what seemed like an eternity.

Then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the noise stopped. Liz struggled off the couch, slapping her ears to regain some hearing power. Then she looked around, and gasped.

That noise had damaged more then Liz' ears. All the paintings were tilted, if not shattered on the floor. The TV had fallen onto the floor, sparking and spitting gibberish. The entire floor had cracked, like a bed of ice.

"Kid's NOT going to be happy about this." Liz said quietly as she helped Patty up.

"What the hell was that?" Patty asked.

"…That's actually a really good question." Liz said, trying to figure out what the noise was.

Then she gasped again. That noise… it wasn't just noise…

It was a scream; no, a roar.

KID'S roar.

Liz' heart stopped. "Patty! We've got to go find Kid!" she cried.

"Where-" Patty began, but was interrupted by a loud CRASH somewhere in the house.

"I'd hazard a guess at where the loud noises are." Liz said, tearing down the ruined hallways. It almost broke her own heart to see the manor in ruins like this, so imagine what it must be doing to Kid…

She sprinted into the antechamber, the very first room of the manor she'd ever been in.

She looked around. The devastation was even more severe here. Another crack stretched across the room, but this was more of a chasm, a foot wide, with red light pouring out of it. The recently replaced chandelier lay in ruins (again) on the floor. Huge chunks of the room in general were taken out, and rubble and debris were everywhere.

As Liz and Patty stood there, they saw a black figure tear down the stairs.

Kid.

He sprinted to magnificent, black double doors, and ripped them off their hinges, unceremoniously tossing them to the side.

"KID HAVE YOU GONE NUTSO?" Patty yelled.

Kid froze, and his head whipped around at an inhuman angle, nearly 180 degrees.

As Liz looked, her eyes bugged out, and she put her hands in front of her mouth.

Kid's sanzu lines were full, completely stretching around his head, three halos.

Head still turned around at that impossible angle, Kid let out another devastating roar. Liz and Patty covered their ears as plaster and debris rained down from the ceiling, and the stairs cracked in half, another foot-wide crack running down the length of them.

Then, To the girls' further astonishment, Four jetskulls (what Shinigami-sama used the first time he faced Asura) appeared, hovering behind Kid's back, and he flew into the night sky.

Liz and Patty ran to the door, looking after the black figure of Kid.

"Can this night get any more INSANE?" Liz cried.

"What if the city looked like it was in the middle of judgement day." Patty said, pointing down at Death City.

Huge chasms had ripped apart buildings and divided the city, and more then a couple buildings were burning.

"God's teeth…" Liz whispered. "We gotta catch Kid."

"How?" Patty said, shrugging desparately. "He's going like a bazillion miles a hour!"

"We'll use the car! I'm guessing he won't bother leaving until Death City's completely trashed." Liz said.

"TO THE KIDMOBILE!" Patty cried, sprinting to Kid's miraculously untouched car. Liz leapt into the driver's seat and Patty in shotgun, and they sped off after the rampaging death god.


	49. Torch Pass pt 2

"Aah, where'd he go? I don't see him!" Liz cried, swiveling her head around as she peeled out of the driveway.

"He'll probably go for the biggest, fanciest place first. What's the most magnificent place in Death City?" Patty said.

Liz gasped. "he's gonna torch the DWMA!" she cried, flooring the pedal, causing the car to screech forwards even faster.

"Look out!" Patty cried, pointing ahead.

A huge chasm, ten feet across easy, bisected the road ahead of them. Ruined cars piled up around it.

"Hang on!" Liz cried as she aimed for one of the cars. There was a huge jolt as she used the upturned car as a ramp to propel them over the chasm.

For a second, Liz thought they weren't going to make it, but then there was a bone-shuddering WHUNCH, and they were on the other side, speeding down the street.

Liz managed to avoid any more chasms on the way to the DWMA, and within a couple minutes, they screeched to a halt in front of the steps.

The DWMA, the most famous landmark in death city, the icon of all that they stood for, was in flames.

Half-wrecked and (as Kid would put it) hideously assymetrical, though the DWMA's sturdy foundations held most of it up, it was slowly but steadily collapsing. There was a relatively minor explosion, and a piece of flaming rubble embedded itself not 3 feet from the car, with friends following behind.

"Patty, MOVE!" Liz screamed, kicking open her door and pulling Patty out with her a split second before a even larger chunk of fiery debris crushed the car, setting off it's alarm.

"Ohhh, that's gonna hurt his wallet…" Liz said quietly.

"We broke it, we broke it!" Patty laughed.

"C'mon! up the steps!" Liz cried, dragging Patty up the dozens of steps.

Once they reached the top, they saw that a crowd of people had gathered. There were firemen trying to put out the inferno, but if anything, it burned even hotter.

"What the hell-" Liz cried, but was cut off by another voice.

"He's dead."

The Thompsons looked over and saw Stein sitting next to them, calmly watching the building burn. He calmly pulled out a cigarette and lit it, taking a drag.

"Kid's…" Liz said, tears filling her eyes. You think that, this being the third time her boyfriend's been dead, she'd have gotten used to it, but there's some things which you just never adjust to.

"No, no, Kid's not dead." Stein said, blowing a smoke ring into the air. "His father is."

"Lord Death was dead? But I liked him! He was funny!" Patty pouted.

"Patty, you think cold-blooded murder is funny." Liz said.

"Yeah, but he was REALLY funny."

"Whatever." Liz said, turning back to stein. "So Lord Death is dead?"

"Yes and no." Stein calmly said, taking another drag on his cigarette.

"It's one or the other!" Liz cried exasperatedly.

"Ok, ok. Here's the deal." Stein began.

"The shinigami you knew as Lord Death, HE is dead. I can tell. His humongous soul bubble no longer encases the city.

"But Death itself is NOT dead. The powers and the prestige of the late Shinigami-sama has been transferred."

"Transferred? Where?" Liz said, but then she answered her own question: "Transferred into Kid."

"Precisely." Stein said, still in that infuriatingly calm voice. "Shinigami-sama's death has caused his powers to sort of jump over to Kid. The moment he died, Kid got his powers."

"So Kid's Lord Death now?" Liz asked.

"Again, yes and no." Stein said.

"The power surge when death powers are transferred would normally be rather painful, but would only give one things like headaches, stomach cramps, maybe some insomnia, et cetera."

"Kid's preganant?" Patty giggled.

Stein looked at her, his glasses flashing. "I'd start taking this a little more seriously if I were you."

"She is serious. This is the way she deals with things." Liz said defensively.

"Fair enough. Laughter is a better coping mechanism then cowering in fear of, say, a spider."

"WHERE?" Liz cried, jumping two feet in the air. "Don't DO that!" she said angrily, putting a hand on her chest, catching her breath.

"Anyways." Stein said, turning back to the burning building.

"As I said, a power transfer would normally have minor side effects. This, though; rampaging and destroying everything… this isn't normal.

"I believe Kid has been possessed."

Patty tried to do a exorcist head swivel, but wound up getting dizzy and puking. (get it? Puking? Heh… - author)

"Think about it." Stein said. "When Death's power is in a body, it is nearly indestructible.

"If a malevolent spirit were to latch on to the power mid-transfer, though, and get into the host's body…"

"That malevolent spirit would control Death's powers." Liz said quietly, it all coming together. "So that's what happened here?"

"I'm very certain." Said Stein grimly.

"But what do we do about it? If a nasty ghostie's taken over Kid's brain, then Kid's gone!" Patty said.

"I don't think so." Stein said. "It's more like he's tied up in the backseat of a car. The invador's driving the operation, but Kid still has just a hint of control." he pointed to the building. "Do you see that tunnel, in the midst of the flames?"

Liz turned and looked, and, surely enough, a good-sized tunnel led into the building, disguised by the flames.

"Kid made that. He wants you to come into the school and find him. I saw him fly in there earlier, after he set the school ablaze, and that's the one way in which hasn't collapsed yet. In fact, all other ways in collapsed a while ago. Either it's a miracle that that one tunnel is still standing…"

"…Or we're meant to go in it." Liz finished. "You ready, Patty?"

"When you are, Onee!" Patty said, saluting Liz.

Liz nodded, steeling herself. "Let's do it." She said quietly, then she and Patty launched themselves into the flaming tunnel.


	50. Torch Pass pt 3

"Liz, does stop, drop and roll work if the ground's on fire?"

"I'd have to say no."

The girls sprinted through the burning, ruined halls, a hellish version of the DWMA which they knew, where everything was melting or completely incinerated. Oddly enough, though, it was as though the tunnel was meant to lead them somewhere; there were no branches at all, just this single, flaming tunnel. Also, while most of the other hallways' floors were flaming so much that the girls would be roasted if they tried to set foot on them, this particular path's floor was just safe enough so that they could make it through with singed ankles and half-melted shoes.

Then, suddenly, the tunnel ended. There was a crash, and the ceiling caved in, cutting off the girls' route.

"What now?" Liz wailed.

"Um…" Patty said, tugging her sister's sleeve. She pointed to one side.

The huge door of the death room loomed in front of them.

"Of course! He's surely in here!" Liz said, pushing the door open. She and Patty managed to get inside and slam the door behind them.

Leaving them in pitch blackness.

By pitch blackness, I don't mean your room at midnight. I don't mean a panther's fur. I don't even mean when you have your eyes closed. This was pure, raw darkness, unbreakable, untouchable. It was nothing more then a void. There were no traces or remnants of the original death room whatsoever.

"Patty? Where are you?" Liz whimpered.

She felt a hand touch hers, and she cried out.

"Shhh, onee, it's me!" Patty said, and Liz could feel her smile through the pitch blackness.

Patty slowly led Liz through the blackness. Were they walking, or floating, or flying, or swimming, or even falling? It was somehow impossible to tell.

There were no walls, so the girls didn't have to worry about bumping into anything. That was a double-edged sword, though, for it wasn't a labyrinth; it was just an impossibly dark void.

Then Liz saw a light. A purple firefly, winking a thousand miles away. "Pat, you see that?" Liz whispered to Patty.

"Yeah…" Pat said. It was undoubtedly a trap of some sort, but without light, the girls were as good as dead. They made their way over to the light, which was actually closer then it appeared.

Soon, the light source came into view. A glowing purple dot, no larger then a baseball, floating about ten feet above the girls' heads; a total of about 16 feet above the ground.

"Um… Kid? That you?" Liz said quietly.

"what do you seek… of death itself?" came a rumbling voice, which was definitely not Kid's.

"We're looking for Kid!" Patty said helpfully, somehow managing to smile.

"ah… you seek Death the Kid?" came the voice again.

"I have… taken care of him…"

"I occupy his body… his mind is my mind… his strength is my strength… you will never see… your precious one again…"

"no… NO! I refuse to believe that!" Liz cried. She held out her hand, and Patty transformed, and leapt into it. Liz pointed Patty with shaking hands over her head at the purple orb. "Give Kid back his body, or I'll kill you! Not kidding!" she screamed.

The low voice laughed darkly. "Your Kid is no more… he is gone…"

"Dammit, you're lying, you're fucking lying!" Liz yelled at the thing. "Last chance! Give back Kid, or I blow you out of the air!"

The voice laughed again. "You amuse me… leave now… and I will spare you."

"We'd rather die then live without Kid!" Yelled the sisters in perfect synchrony.

There was silence for a moment, then the voice spoke again. "If this is the way you chose to end your pathetic mortal lives… so be it…"

Slowly, two more purple orbs appeared, side by side, over the first orb. Liz didn't understand, but then she realized what it was.

It was the same shape as shinigami-sama's eyes.

Then a wave of force blasted Liz onto her back, skidding away. She groaned, and sat up, dropping Patty, who transformed.

Then Liz looked around. She was on a pedestal, like the one in the original death room. It was luminescent, so she could see what was on it, but not beyond.

In front of her, a horrible monster loomed.

It was gargantuan, a huge, slightly ape-like monster. It loomed above them, its long, muscular arms flexing. Its muscled chest and powerful legs slowly shifted. The fingernails and toenails were ragged.

The beast wore one of Kid's suit jackets, ripped and shredded by its massive bulk, but definitely recognizable. "Kid must have burst right out of his shirt when he transformed into this thing…" Liz thought.

In the beast's right hand, there was a bizarre hammer. It had two heads, like a warhammer. The thing looked almost flesh-like, with what looked like sharp teeth covering its faces and eye (top). Its cheeks had ornamental, red eyes.

It's head, though, was the strangest part. It had no normal features, no nose or mouth. It had three purple gem-eyes, though, like round amethysts. It also had three pointed tentacles of flesh drooping down from its chin, side by side. All in all…

"It's head looks like the death insignia…" Patty said quietly to Liz.

"PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM, MORTALS!" the voice yelled; strangely enough, it didn't quite come from the beast. More like, next to it. Before Liz could ponder this, though, the beast slammed its hammer on the ground and began to lumber forwards, telegraphing that it was about to attack.

"Spread out! Give him multiple targets!" Liz said to Patty. The two dodge-rolled away from each other, half-forming their fingers as they did. They pointed their fingers like guns at the beast, at 2:00 and 10:00 positions.

The beast stopped, and slowly looked from Liz, to Patty, to Liz, to Patty. Then it roared, and its three eyes glowed. Out shot three purple death beams, which hit Patty in the stomach. She went down and didn't move.

"Patty!" Liz screamed, but the beast swung his hammer at her, and forced her back, away from her sister.

Liz desperately fired blasts at the monster, but they just bounced off it. It continued to slowly advance, swinging its hammer, driving Liz to the edge of the white pedestal.

Then there was a war cry, and Patty launched herself onto the monster's back, wrapping her arms around its huge, muscular neck.

"You crazy bastard! Stop this right now!" Patty growled in her scary voice which Kid always obeyed.

Instead of stopping, though, the behemoth reached its left arm onto its back, and grabbed Patty like on would a Barbie doll. It then tossed Patty away, and she bounced like a ragdoll a couple times, then skidded across the floor to the other side of the large pedestal.

Kid-beast slowly advanced, but he stopped. He put a hand to his head.

"What are you doing? KILL HER!" the rumbling voice roared. Then the hammer pulsated with black energy, and what looked like black lightning rippled up Kid-monster's arm, up his shoulder and neck, into his brain. Kid-beast roared, and hefted its hammer, continuing its deadly march towards Patty as though nothing had happened.

A lightbulb went on in Liz' head. The hammer was what was controlling Kid! If she could just pry his fingers off it, she could end this nightmare!

Liz ran forwards, leaping for the monster's arm, but the thing dodged her hasty charge, and she landed near her sister, who was coming to. Liz quickly crawled over and whispered her realization to Patty as she helped her up.

Liz heard the monster lumbering up behind her. A stealthy beast, it was not. Liz whipped around, in a surprise maneuver, and leapt onto the monster's huge forearm, just above the hammer. The beast roared, and swung around, trying to shake her loose, but she had a couple seconds.

Liz reached one hand towards the hammer, but then she saw the horrible truth.

The hammer was fused to the beast's hand.

The fingers curled around it were a cruel mockery of a real hand. Actually, the horrible warhammer was directly melded to the flesh of Kid's hand. It would take precision surgery to get the thing off of him, and that wasn't exactly an option.

Before Liz could do anything else, though, she felt a huge hand grip her around her torso, and next thing she knew she was flying through the air.

She skidded to a halt, and lay there, the wind knocked out of her. Through blurred vision, she saw Patty dance around Kid, using incredible agility to dodge the beast's slow hammer swings.

The thing got a lucky hit, and slammed Patty in her already wounded stomach. Patty cried out as she hit the ground hard.

"NO!" Liz yelled, as the beast raised its hammer to finish her off. With speed she didn't know she had, she shielded Patty with her own body, though she knew it wouldn't be much use.

Closing her eyes, she waited for the end to come.

"NO! what are you doing?" the rumbling voice said, a note of agitation for the first time entering its voice.

Liz looked up, and saw Kid-beast shakily clutching the hammer with both hands. The thing trembled violently.

It could easily destroy them. Why wasn't it? Only one answer…

"KID!" Liz cried, not leaving her sister, but desparately looking into the beast's eyes, willing Kid to come out. "Kid, keep fighting! For the love of god, fight this thing!"

"Your precious Kid is DEAD! I KILLED him! Dammit, LISTEN TO ME!" The rumbling voice said, alternating between talking to Liz and to the now shuddering Kid.

Then the beast shook its head, not lowering its hammer, and it said, in Kid's voice… "Liz… Patty…"

"Kid! You're still in there!" Liz said, tears forming in her eyes. "Kid, you can do it! Fight this thing! Freaking fight it!"

"no… NOO!" the rumbling voice roared, terror showing. Then Kid-beast roared. He gripped the handle tighter with his free hand.

Then, in a herculean feat of strength, he ripped the warhammer out of the grip of his other hand… taking the other hand with it.

There was a scream, which slowly died. Liz couldn't tell whether it was the demon or Kid who was screaming. Quite possibly both.

Then there was bright light. Green skulls floated from Kid; his body expelling the residual foreign energy. Slowly, Kid shrunk, his muscles deflating, the tentacles and eyes shrinking back into his head, replaced with black-and-white hair, and golden eyes…

Death the Kid once more stood in front of Liz and Patty.

"Urrgh… what…" Kid grumbled, but his weapons cut him off.

"KID!" the Thompsons cried, launching themselves on him.

"Easy, girls! I'm not exactly in peak condition here!" Kid said. That relatively small hug had nearly knocked him over.

"Sorry…" Liz and Patty both said, pulling themselves off him.

They looked at each other for a second.

"Oh, C'MERE, YOU LITTLE-" Kid swooped the girls up into a big bear hug.

Liz and Patty were stunned. Kid never initiated a hug, others had to hug him first!

"I was so worried about you!" Kid said, hugging them tighter. "I saw through that thing's eyes, and I thought that you were going to die!"

"We're ok, Kid." Liz said quietly as Kid set her and Patty down. "But your hand…"

Kid looked at the bloody stump where his right hand had been. "Hmm…" he said, thinking. Then he closed his eyes.

Molten darkness flowed from the wound, morphing and twisting into the form of a black hand. Then, to the girls' astonishment, the blackness fell, like shedded skin, to reveal a flawless hand, just like Kid's last one.

"So I do have my father's powers…" Kid said quietly, opening his eyes and inspecting his hand, flexing it.

"With great power comes great responsibility." Patty said. when the others looked at her funny, she added, "that's from spider-man. Hee hee!"

Then Liz felt the ground rumble beneath her feet. "Kid!" she gasped, realizing something. "That probably wasn't the only malevolent spirit who'll want in now that Death City's defenses are down! More are probably attacking the city right now!"

"Right." Kid said. He opened one of his white portals, and held out his hands. Liz and Patty leapt into them. Then Kid sped through the portal, to Death City.


	51. Torch Pass pt 4

Less then a second later, our heroes came out of the portal, seeing all of Death city from above.

Wait… above?

"WE'RE FALLING! AAA!" Liz cried out.

Then she realized they weren't falling. She looked around and saw that Kid had those skull jets out again, allowing him to fly.

"Whee!" Patty said as Kid flew through the air.

Then there was a THAM! And a huge, huge figure slammed from the sky into Death City.

"Oh my GAWD!" Liz cried.

"What in Oblivion is THAT?" Kid muttered.

"It's a monster! Duh." Patty said.

A giant, a titan, loomed over Death City, hundreds of feet tall. The titan was mostly human, but had one eye, and abnormal muscles. It wore, bizarrely enough, pinstriped pants and shirt. It smashed the buildings, crushing poor souls, laughing as it did so.

Now that Kid was Death, he actually SAW the souls leaving the bodies of the crushed victims, floating into the night sky.

"Girls… you mind taking a number on this one?" Kid asked.

"What? How are you going defeat that thing without our – HEEEEELP?" Liz cried out as Kid went into a unexpected dive, and zoomed towards the monster.

Kid hovered, staring at the titan as it destroyed his city. He summoned his powers…

"VOID!" Kid roared, thrusting a hand, and a miniature black hole appeared, right there in the middle of Death City's sky. The titan howled as chunks of its flesh were torn off, being sucked into the hole. Liz thought she heard wind howling, but it wasn't wind; it was the wails of tormented souls, on the other side of the void.

With one final roar, which was more of a groan, the titan was sucked into the void, which then slammed shut with a BAM!

It wasn't over yet, though. "KID!" Patty yelled, pointing out, past Death City's borders. An army of equal-sized titans slowly THOOMed across the sand, leaving craters where their feet fell. They came in all shapes and sizes; some had spikes, some had laser eyes, some were high-tech, some were cavemanlike.

Even as the death trio watched, more titans gave great, bounding leaps, slamming into Death City from the sky, like the first titan.

Kid steeled himself. He crossed his arms, holding Liz and Patty…

Then he thrust his arms out to his sides, like a T, and unleashed his ultimate power, the power of Death itself.

Liz and Patty twisted, and morphed into quadruple death cannon form. Then they morphed into quadruple ultra-death-cannon form (Kid's finisher move when he faced asura). They looked like four ultra-death-cannons melded together, in a similar style to the regular quadruple death cannon, and somehow even larger, each barrel the size of a semitruck.

Huge black wings, segmented like they were made out of mystic runes, appeared in the sky behind Kid; not actually holding him up (the jetskulls were doing that), more like a display of power, a incredible energy focuser.

"wings of darkness charge at 88888888%!"

"death noise at 1000%!"

"soul-melding resonance at… I can't even count that high!"

"feedback in 3!"

"2!"

"1!"

"kill 'em all!" Patty cried.

Kid's golden eyes glowed, and he screamed one word;

"ARMAGEDDON!"

The insanely huge blasters, without even needing to warm up, fired a blast so huge, it damn near tore the fabric of space and time itself. Kid had managed to aim it so that Death City itself wasn't harmed, but everything taller then 75-ish feet was destroyed.

After a solid minute of annihilation, Kid finished firing his weapons, and slowly lowered them to his sides as they morphed back into COP form, the wings of darkness disassipating.

About 200 pairs of huge legs stood on the outskirts of Death City, not to mention several inside the city. The torsos, arms, and heads had been completely obliterated. The very mountains which were in the background had been cut off, giving them smoking, flat tops.

"Not bad, if I do say so myself." Kid said, brushing his ripped sleeves out of habit.

"Kid… you're still awake? I'd think you'd be KOed by now…" Liz said.

Kid laughed a hearty laugh, almost making the girls jump. "Death's power is infinite! Neverending! Unstoppable!"

"What are you, a living thesserus?" Patty giggled.

"Thesaurus, Patty." Kid corrected.

"Kid, why are you so jolly?" Liz asked.

"I guess some of my father's happy-go-lucky attitude transferred to me, along with his powers." Kid stopped, tears coming to his eyes. "Father…"

"Easy, Kid, easy." Liz comforted. "Let's just get home. There'll be plenty of time for grieving later."

"Do we get sympathy ice cream?" Patty giggled.

Kid smiled, a teary smile. "Yes, Patricia. As much sympathy ice cream as you want. No strings attached, for once."

"Yay!" sang Patty, as the three finally headed off for home.


	52. The Ritual pt 1

"Psst."

"uggh…"

"pssst! Elizabeth!"

"Uggh… Kid? Wh… what time is it?"

"11:00."

"Gaaah, Kid, it's too late for sexy."

"No, no, no sexy… c'mon."

"God dammit, Kid, can't this wait until morning?"

"NO!"

The shout startled Liz, and she jumped a foot.

"Owww…" she said, putting a hand over her ear. "Ok, fine. Whatever. But if you want anything more advanced then shuffling and grumbling, you'll have to make me coffee."

"Consider it done." Kid said quickly, and scampered out of the room.

Liz waited a few seconds, then plopped back down under her pillow.

"AND NO GOING BACK TO SLEEP!" Kid said, peeking back around the doorway.

"Glurgh…" Liz said, slipping off her slippers and shuffling after Kid.

Xxxxxxxx

"More tea, mister giraffe?" Patty questioned, smiling and holding out the tea kettle to the giraffe in a suit and top hat.

"Hyuk! Sure, Patty!" The giraffe said, smiling as Patty poured tea into its cup. "Awww, you're so goldurned cute! Hyuk hyuk!" it leaned down and poked Patty with its long nose in her stomach.

"Hee hee… that tickles, mister giraffe!" Patty giggled. "Stop!"

But the giraffe continued poking, and things began to fade out of color, and eventually, Patty opened her eyes. She was in her bed, and Kid was poking her with a broomstick.

"Grrrr… what the hell, Kid?" Patty growled.

"W-well, Patricia… um… y-you're very scary when you wake up…" Kid said meekly.

"Aww, thanks, Kid! You're so sweet!" Patty giggled, hugging him.

"You have also been known to have excessive mood swings when you wake up." Kid added (in his head) as he took Patty's hand and slowly led her downstairs.

Xxxxxxxx

Soon, the three were sitting at the kitchen table, Liz with a cup of double expresso, Patty hugging one of her stuffed giraffes.

"Ok, Kid. We're up. Now what do you want us for at this godforsaken hour?" Liz questioned.

"Ah, yes." Kid said. "Well, girls, we're going to perform a ritual, and it has to take place between midnight and 1:00 am, because-"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Did you say RITUAL?" Liz asked.

"I'll get the goat, the sanctified dagger, and the human heart!" Patty piped.

"…I don't even want to know where you would get those, Patricia, even if they WERE needed." Kid said. "Anyways, the ritual-"

"WHAT ritual?" Liz pressed on.

"I'll tell you, if you'll let me actually finish." Kid said irritably.

"Right, well, the ritual has to begin between midnight and 1:00, because that's the haunting hour, the hour during which the connection between the spectral world and our world is strongest.

"As for what the ritual itself is… well, you see… Death is allowed to use as many death scythes as he wants, on the most technical of levels. However, he may only select ONE scythe to become his CHOSEN scythe."

"Chosen scythe?" Liz asked.

"Yes. The link between Death and his scythes is strong, but the link between Death and his chosen scythe is unbreakable, and they are an indestructible pair."

"Ah, I see. So you're going to choose one of us, and you and her are going to perform the ritual together." Liz inferenced.

"Oh." Patty interjected before Kid could answer. "I see the way the wind is blowing." She got off her chair and began an overdramatic slumping walk to the door. "You two are the two lovebirds, and you have a stronger connection, and you're totally going to chose her, and-"

"Patricia, get your cute little ass back here and sit back in your chair." Kid said firmly, pointing at the chair Patty had been sitting in. Patty glanced at her ass, then scuttled back to her seat and sat back down.

"So, what, you're chosing her over me?" Liz said, rather indignantly.

"Gahhh, no no no no no!" Kid said, waving his hands frantically.

"The ceremony was only MEANT to be preformed by Death and one weapon, but I think with a few little loopholes in the ritual, we can make it work with three people."

"Really." Liz said, raising an eyebrow.

"And let me make just one thing clear, girls." Kid continued. "Even if you were both about to fall off a cliff, and I could only save one of you, I would still use all the effort in my power to save the both of you, or die trying. I couldn't live if only one of you lived."

"Aww, we love you too, Kiddo-kun!" Patty said, rushing over and hugging him. Liz shrugged and joined the hug. Kid blushed as he felt their chests press against his cheeks.

After a few seconds, Kid got up, and the Thompsons followed him down the hall.

"By the way, Kid," Liz said as they walked, "how do you know all this?"

"I sort of inherited my father's memories when… yeah." Kid said, looking down at his feet as he walked along.

"Where are we going?" Patty asked.

"Where no meister has gone before." Kid replied. "Literally. Only death and his chosen weapons are allowed in the room."

Kid led the duo down the stairs, past the training room, to the manor's sub-basement. There wasn't much down here; just a couple cobwebs, some moldy boxes, and a single, dingy lightbulb. The walls were made of thick concrete blocks, stacked on top of each other in perfectly symmetrical patterns.

Kid walked to the rear wall of the room, and began inspecting it, as he would inspect a painting.

"Um… I thought it would be in a bit more dramatic setting then THIS." Liz said, looking around.

"And meisters have been here! Me and Maka hid down here for hide and go seek once!" Patty added.

"Whoever said we're stopping at the lowest level of the house?" Kid replied, still inspecting the wall. "Right, brace yourselves, girls." Kid tapped a few bricks very carefully. After he tapped the eigth brick, the wall sort of morphed into a bizarre, ancient door.

It had four rings, each of them bearing four symbols: a skull, a smiling human face, a more sad human face with x-ed out eyes and a sticking out tongue, and a death insignia. In the center was a hand-shaped indentation.

"Combination lock, in case someone else discovered the order of bricks. My family's always been a bit paranoid." Kid explained as he managed to drag the rings, with a dull scraping sound, so that certain symbols lined up. When one of the rings' symbols disappeared, a different one emerged from a concealed spot.

After a couple seconds of rotating, from top to bottom, the symbols were death insignia, skull, dead face, happy face. Then Kid placed his palm in the indentation. Immediately, the rings rotated on their own, so that all the symbols visible were the death insignia. Then there was another dull grating sound, and the huge stone door slowly slid open, separating in two, like automatic glass doors. Behind it was a spiraling flight of stairs, going down, with torches lining the walls.

Kid led the way, with Patty following and Liz bringing up the rear (their typical order when going into a dark scary place.) Their shoes made soft tapping noises on the cold stone floor as the trio worked their way down the stairs.

"Kid, how long is this staircase?" Liz asked after a minute of walking.

"Not long." Kid replied.

Xxxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later…

"My feet hurt."

"Quiet, Liz. We're almost there."

"Onee's right, Kid… even MY feet hurt."

"Well, that's natural." Kid said, continuing downwards. "Mortals always get weak when they get closer to the testing chamber."

"Why?"

"It's draining your very life energy. Even as I speak, it's quite literally sucking the life out of you."

"…well that's pleasant." Liz replied as the trio continued down the steps.

Then, the stairs suddenly ended, and the trio were in a small room, little larger then a broom closet. It was bare, other then one noticeable feature: in the center of the wall opposite them was a large skull.

The huge, white stone skull took up most of the entire rear wall. It was so large, an infant could easily be cradled in its gaping mouth. Its eyes were sparkling diamonds, but other then that, it was fairly normal. It wasn't even the death insignia; just a stone skull with its face poking out of the wall's rough black surface. Liz brushed her fingers against the skull's rough, white surface, then pulled them back. The solid, rough white rock was unnaturally cold, even for stone which was at least ten miles underground.

"Don't look into its eyes if you value your lives." Kid said simply, and the girls pulled back, averting their eyes from the door altogether, just in case.

"Kid… I know I may regret asking this, but… what's behind the wall?" Liz quietly questioned.

"The ritual." Kid replied simply, staring into the skull's huge diamond eyes. "Well, it's technically called 'the ritual', but it's really more of a test."

"A test?" Patty wondered.

"Yes. A test, during which all three of us shall risk our very lives."

"Big whoop. We risk our lives all the time." Liz said, but there was the slightest quiver to her voice.

"Ok, I'm going in." Kid said, moving closer to the skull.

"Going? Going where? It's a solid wall, Kid." Liz said.

"In the name of father, girls…" Kid continued, ignoring Liz' comment. "…no matter how long I take, no matter what you hear, do NOT attempt to follow me."

"Or else what? You'll kill us?" Patty said sarcastically.

"Actually, yes. Quite literally." Kid said, effectively silencing the Thompson sisters. Then he placed each of his hands on one of the skull's eyes, and the room was dead silent for a few seconds as Kid closed his eyes. Then he opened them and removed his hands. "Goodbye, girls." He said quietly, not looking at his weapons.

He proceeded to walk straight through the stone wall, like a ghost, leaving nothing in his wake.

"Kid!" Liz cried, and was about to bang her fists against the skull when she remembered his words. She slowly grabbed Patty, and, though it was the hardest thing she ever did in her life, she didn't make any attempt to follow Kid. She just stood, and watched.

Normally, she'd be happy to stay out of the dangerous, scary room. But this was different. The grim tone which Kid had spoken in right before he walked through the wall… it was as though he expected to die the second he walked through the wall.

Patty quietly grabbed her sister's hand. "C'mon, sis." She said quietly. "Let's get outta here. Kid'll be back before we know it!" she tried to inject some happiness into her voice, but she was so worried that it was impossible.

"But what if he's not?" Liz asked, still staring at the wall.

"Tell you what. We leave now, but if he's not back in a week, we go after him, no matter what he said." Patty compromised.

"…fine." Liz said quietly, allowing Patty to slowly lead her back up the stairs.

"Kid… be careful…"

XXXXXXXX

Hey, guys. Sorry if this chap's kinda weak, and sorry about not updating in a relative while. Some serious shyt's been going on in my life. I'll try to post when I can, but I can't promise much of anything, honestly.


	53. The Ritual pt 2

"But sis, he told us not to go after him, or he'd kill us! Literally!"

"Patty, it's been a damn WEEK! Even if he isn't dead by now, something must have happened to him!"

Patty had latched onto her sister's arm and was desperately trying to slow her sister down as Liz marched stubbornly onwards.

"But if Kid comes back, we won't be able to eat ice cream on the couch anymore!" Patty whined.

Liz stopped, then looked at her sister in astonishment. "You think that matters WHATSOEVER?" she screamed in Patty's face. "For all we know, Kid has a broken ankle, or a snapped neck, or a severed leg! He NEEDS us, Patty, and its our duty to help him no matter what!"

"Umm… ok?" Patty replied, cowering. Her sister could be scary when she was mad.

Liz stomped down the stairs, Patty in tow, until eventually the duo reached the bottom. Once more, they saw the huge, white stone skull in the wall.

"Um… knock knock?" Liz said tentatively, rapping her fingers on the skull's forehead. Nothing.

"Allow me." Patty said, gently pushing her sister to the side. Then she leapt up, waving her arms, and yelled "open sesame!" at the skull.

No response.

"That's all I got." Patty said, shrugging to Liz.

"Hmm…" Liz said, tapping a finger against her chin. "How did Kid do it?"

"Um… didn't he put his hands on the sparkly eyes?" Patty questioned.

"Yeah…" Liz trailed off, staring at the skull. Then she stepped forward, and placed each of her hands on one of the diamond eyes of the skull.

Immidiately, she heard a voice in her head. A low, dull whisper.

"The ascended rise, the damned fall, yet both of their music shall open this wall."

"Um… what?" Liz questioned.

"You may not enter."

"Wait, that wasn't my… answer? Hey!" Liz cried, but the skull said nothing more. Frustrated, she took her hands off the eyes and looked to Patty. "It's a riddle." She explained.

"Phoo. Kid's the one who's good at riddles." Patty said, placing her own hands on the eyes so she could hear the music. After a couple seconds, she said, "funeral organs?" Then a second later, she muttered something and took her hands off the eyes.

"Think, Patty. What kind of music does a dead man listen to?"

The two thought for a minute. They tried every type of music they could think of; rock, jazz, blues, country (ick). None of them were the answer.

Then Patty perked up. "Liz, I think I've got it!" She cried.

"It's not the music a dead man LISTENS to, it's the music he MAKES!"

Liz looked at her sister. "But… dead guys don't make music at all. They don't make any kind of noise whatsoever." She said slowly.

"Exactly! Watch this!" Patty said, placing her hands on the eyes once more.

For a few seconds, the room was silent as a ghost. Then, just as Liz was about to ask what Patty was doing, walls of the chamber slowly began to twist.

"See?" Patty asked, smiling at Liz as the walls twisted and churned. "I didn't make a noise because that was the answer: silence!"

"dead man's music… silence…" Liz said slowly. Then she hugged her sister. "Patty, you're brilliant!"

Then they looked back at the skull, and saw their journey wasn't quite over yet.

The entire room had grown larger: whereas before it had been the size of a broom closet, it was now the size of a medium-sized room. The skull was the same size and in the same place, but with three signifigant changes.

The first was, the diamond eyes had vanished, replaced with plain eye sockets.

The second; in the center of the skull's forehead was a small purple amethyst, perfectly circular.

The third change: the skull's teeth were now razor-sharp, and were pointed and menacing.

"Great. There's more then one test." Liz groaned.

"But Kid just walked through the wall with ease…?" Patty said quietly.

"I'm guessing he got a little exception, being Death himself. These tests are for the weapons, not for the meister." Liz said. she made a little inference, and placed a manicured finger on the small, perfectly round amethyst in the skull's forehead. Again, she heard the voice in her head.

"Death is seen by none, yet dominates all. Blood from his servants shall open this wall."

Liz took her finger off the gem, and slowly turned to Patty. "Another riddle, but I think I've figured it out." Liz said quietly.

"Well, give it the answer!" Patty said, bouncing up and down with impatience.

"It's not a VERBAL answer this time." Liz said, turning back to the skull. She slowly raised a hand, and placed her palm on the skull's razor teeth.

Liz whimpered as she sharply pushed down, releasing a spurt of blood from her palm as the teeth punctured it. She let it flow for a second before snatching away her palm. Even as the walls began to twist again, she quickly took off one of her shoes, then the sock that had been under that shoe. Slipping her bare foot back into the shoe, she wrapped the sock around her hand in a makeshift bandage. It would at least slow the bleeding.

When she looked up again, the room had changed once more. Now it was the size of the DWMA ballroom (before the fire). The wall in front of the two, though, was what they noticed most. How could they not have noticed this before? It was as though scales had fallen from the girls' eyes, revealing the true room.

It was now a huge, ancient stone door. Images had been carved into the door of people undergoing unspeakable agony. Two huge black knockers hung on either of the double doors, and in the dead center of it all, mounted seamlessly on the crack between the doors, was a third skull. This one was closer akin to the first one then the second, but it didn't have diamond eyes. Also, there was a many-faceted ruby in its mouth, large as a exercise ball.

Then the voice sounded again, only this time out loud, and without prompting.

"you may stay here forevermore, but only Death can open his door."

Liz' blood ran cold. They weren't Death, so they couldn't enter. Simple as that.

"Let us in! Kid NEEDS us!" Patty cried, pounding her fists on the ancient door.

As Patty desperately tugged the huge knocker, Liz slowly stepped forwards, and placed her hands, one still with the sock wrapped around it, on the huge gem in the huge skull's mouth.

"Please…" Liz thought, trying to inject her thoughts into the door, "we're not Death… but Death's in danger, in the room beyond! We need to get in there, to help him! Please!"

The room was silent for another second, then the voice boomed again.

"It is true that death alone may enter this cold, stony home.

"But Death is trapped, inside this room. If you don't help him, he's surely doomed.

"And so I'll break the rules, and let you in. But you'll never be able to enter again."

"…thanks?" Liz said with a pinch of disbelief; that was easy!

And so, the door slowly creeeeeaked open. As the duo walked in, and the door slowly creeeeeaked shut behind them, Liz gasped.

Kid was in trouble.

Under a unseen spotlight, he was ensnared in some nightmarish trap. Black tendrils had enveloped parts him; a large mass was up to his waist, while separate tendrils engulfed his arms. When Liz looked closely, she could see that the tendrils were slowly creeping closer, enveloping what she could still see of him. He was naked; apparently the tendrils which were eating him or whatever didn't like clothes, and wanted their meal to be pure.

Liz and Patty ran over to Kid, who was unconscious. Liz desperately tried to tug the tendrils off of Kid, but the black, inky mass began to spout smaller tendrils and wrap around her fingers when she touched it, and she was forced to quickly draw back before it got a good grip. She glanced over, and saw the same had happened to Patty.

Liz held out her hand, and Patty transformed and leapt into it. Desperately, Liz sunk blast after blast into the tendrils, but to no avail.

"Girls…"

Liz dropped Patty, who transformed back, and they looked at Kid, who had woken up, and was staring at them with a weak, unfocused gaze. His eyes, his beautiful golden eyes, had turned a dull shade of dark yellow.

"Kid!" Liz cried, hugging him around his exposed abdomen.

"We'll get you outta here, Kid!" Patty cried, tugging Kid's arm, trying to get him out of the heaving black mass.

"I'm…" Kid said weakly.

"…I'm so proud of you…"

Then the tendrils suddenly retreated, and Kid fell to the floor, naked. Patty now also wrapped her arms around him.

"Where have you been? You were gone for a week! We were so worried!" Liz cried, hugging him tighter.

"Don't scare us like that, you big dummy!" Patty cried, smacking his back.

Kid coughed a shuddering cough. "I'll explain… when we get upstairs…" He said weakly as he managed to get to his feet and slowly walk to the door.

"Um… do you want to call down to us or something, so we aren't right behind you?" Liz asked, covering her mouth. When Kid looked around, confused, Liz added, "You're naked."

Kid glanced down, then he raised a hand, continuing to walk. As he walked, blackness from the shadows of the room slowly enveloped him, forming a long black robe, which covered him. The girls caught up to him, and felt his new robe; it felt almost liquidy.

"Oh, and before I leave…" Kid said, stopping at the doorway. He turned, and raised a hand again.

In the room, in the spotlight where he had been, appeared a black throne, in the same material as the tendrils and robe. All around the room, from the darkness, death insignias formed, all facing the chair.

"Just a little ambience for when I return here later." Kid mentioned, continuing up the stairs, the girls following.

Xxxxxxxx

"So Kid, spill. Why were you all wrapped up down there?" Liz asked, sipping her coffee.

"And you thought WE were into bondage!" Patty teased.

"It was part of the ritual." Kid said. "I had to step into the mass of black tendrils willingly. When I did that, I was tied up, and the things both sucked the life out of me and infused reaper energy into me. When the infusing process was complete, though, they didn't let me go: there was still YOUR part of the test."

"Our part?" Liz asked.

"Yes." Kid continued. "You see, a good death scythe has to know when to obey orders, but they also have to know when to DISOBEY, even if it means risking their lives."

"And we disobeyed you, because you told us not to enter after you." Patty added.

Kid nodded. "I'm proud of you girls. Even though I threatened you with death by my hands, you were still so worried about me, you came to rescue me."

"You're welcome." Liz said with just a twinge of sarcasm, taking another sip of coffee.


	54. Kid's New Ride

"Girls, when are you going to uncover my eyes?"

"Right about… now!"

The darkness cleared from Kid's vision, and his eyes widened.

They were in the garage of the manor, and in front of Kid was a huge motorcycle which would make soul's look pathetic.

It was completely black, with a metallic finish. Four chrome afterburners rumbled slowly in the back. The seat and gas tank looked almost melded with the rest of the bike, like it was all one big, seamless machine.

In between the handlebars, facing front, was a white skull, glaring at anyone who dared to stand in front of the menacing motorcycle. The death insignia was painted on both sides of the gas tank, as well as on the seat.

Altogether, the motorcycle's seat must have been four feet off the ground. The wheels alone were two feet in diameter. The finishing touch was the license plate, which read "DEATHKID".

"It…" Kid said slowly. "IT'S A MASTERPIECE!" he ran over to the bike and inspected it all over. "It's EXACTLY symmetrical! The license plate even has eight letters! Father's gloves, it's the perfect vehicle!" He turned to his weapons, who had led him here. His eyes grew teary. "Girls, have I told you how much I love you lately?" he said even as he launched into a dual hug.

"Yes, actually. You have." Patty giggled.

"Since your car was crushed the other day, we thought we'd build a ride for you." Liz said. "We built it all on our own!"

"Really? ALL on your own?" Kid asked, standing back and raising an eyebrow at the girls.

"Yeah!" Liz said rather indignantly.

Kid's eyebrow raised further.

"Soul helped." Patty admitted.

"Patty!" Liz said, annoyed at her sister ruining the secret.

"No, no, that's what I thought." Kid said. "If you two REALLY built it, it'd either explode or fall apart the minute I turned it on."

"Hey!" Liz said. "We're not THAT bad at building things!"

"What about the time when you two tried to fix the waffle iron, but somehow turned it into a killer android?" Kid replied.

"That was an ACCIDENT!" Patty whined.

"Anyways…" Liz intervened, hoping to ease the tension. "I kind of wanted to get a pink hot rod, but then Patty thought of ghost rider's motorcycle, and I knew that was WAY too cool an idea to be ignored. So we gave Soul a ring, and he whipped up this sweet ride."

"Plus, there's special features, like this!" Patty said, skipping over and flipping a switch on one of the handlebars. The skull's eyes blazed with a burning white light.

"Headlights in the EYES? That's genius!" Kid cried.

"And there's a red version, for intimidation!" Patty added, pressing a switch next to the first one. The bright white light was replaced with a blood red one.

"There's even a concealed nitro tank somewhere, for superspeed!" Liz mentioned.

"This… this is incredible!" Kid smiled. Then his eyebrows bunched as he began to think. "But what if I need to drive you guys somewhere?"

"That's easy." Said Patty. She skipped over to a darker part of the garage, and pulled out two sidecars, same shade of black as the motorcycle, which could be attatched to both sides of the bike. "This way, when we're all riding, we'll all be symmetrical!"

"What if I only need to drive one of you?"

"There's a little seat behind the main one for us." Liz said, patting a smaller seat near the back of he motorcycle.

"Um…" Kid said, blushing, "…don't take this the wrong way, but will you FIT on that seat? It's kinda small…"

"Of course I will!" Liz said indignantly. She sat on the rear seat, to prove it. "see?"

Then Kid grinned wickedly. In one fluid motion, he leapt onto the main seat of the bike, turned the ignition, and the bike leapt out of the garage with a VA-ROOOOM! Liz yelped and wrapped her arms around Kid's waist so she wouldn't fall off.

Kid tore around the streets of Death City at speeds which might make one's face peel off. Liz was worried he'd fall, but Kid manipulated the controls of the bike like a master.

Kid rounded a turn so hard, the bike was at a 2:00 position with the ground. He made a leap off the slanted back of a tow truck, and wove between cars like they were orange cones.

Eventually, Kid pulled to a stop at the side of the road. Not because he was tired of it, he couldn't be more exhilarated. No, he was just prying Liz' hands loose from his waist for a moment; they were cutting off circulation to his legs.

"Kid, how'd you learn to be such a good driver?" Liz gasped, still trying to catch her breath.

"When I was only about 70, father trained me to do everything from tightrope walking to lockpicking to, of course, motorcycle riding. A reaper can't have too many talents." Kid said nonchalantly, straightening one of his cuffs. Then he looked ahead and grinned. "Oh, hey, check it out. Look who it is."

Liz looked, and she grinned also. "They're going to be SO jealous." She said, gripping Kid's waist again as he pulled ahead, to the next red light.

Next to them were Soul and Maka, on Soul's motorcycle, in a similar position to Kid and Liz; Maka's hands around Soul's waist.

To put it bluntly, if Soul's motorcycle was a wheelie, (google "Kirby wheelie") Kid's was a freaking rex wheelie (again, google).

Soul did a double take over at Kid. "Show-off…" he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Do I detect a note of jealousy?" Kid questioned, grinning.

"Wow, Kid! Your bike makes Soul's look TINY!" Maka grinned.

"Hey! My bike is a good size nonetheless!" Soul protested. Liz had to struggle to hold in her laughter. "Besides," Soul continued, "SPEED is what REALLY matters."

"Oh really?" Kid asked. "Well, first one to the next stoplight wins, then."

"You're on!" Soul said, revving his engine. "VOOOM! VOOOM!"

"Hey Liz." Kid asked as they waited for the light to turn green. "You mentioned Ghost Rider earlier, and I was wondering… does his bike fly?"

"um… I think so…" Liz said, confused by the odd question.

"I thought so." Kid said, grinning.

Ding!

The light had barely turned green when the two bikes leapt forwards.

Kid's bike was fast, but Soul's was actually slightly faster, and sped towards the finish.

Then Liz felt Kid shudder, and saw his hands infusing purple death god energy into the bike's handles. "Um… Kid… what are you-" Liz began to say, but was cut short when she noticed something.

The rumbling of the bike as it flew along the aspalt… was gone. It was as though they were riding on a very noisy feather. Liz looked down, and gasped.

The bike was hovering two feet in the air, and even as she watched, it continued to rise.

"Kid, how are you DOING that?" She questioned in astonishment.

"I'm a god, remember?" Kid said, glancing over his shoulder and smiling. Then he yelled "SO LONG, SUCKERS!" at Soul and Maka as they soared clear over their heads. There was another cry behind them of "MOTHER####ING SHOWOFF!" as Kid and Liz soared into the sky.

Soon, they were seeing Death City as only a bird can. Liz looked down, and could just make out all the ant-people staring up at them, pointing. Then she looked up and grinned. "I can see our house from here!" she shouted over the wind whistling in her ears, pointing to Gallows Manor across town. Then she added, "I always wanted to say that!"

After a few glorious circles around the city's sky (and a few close encounters with some flocks of birds and a remote-control helicopter), Kid turned towards the manor, and began to go downwards.

As Liz looked down at the yard, she saw Patty relaxing in a lawn chair, licking some ice cream. "COMING IN FOR A LANDING!" Liz called down. Patty looked up, raising her sunglasses.

She was so stunned, she didn't even notice when the ice cream hit the grass.

After a few more seconds, the bike slowed to a hover, and touched down on the ground, light as a sheet of paper.

"That… was the most epic thing… that's ever happened to me… in my entire life…" Liz said quietly, stumbling off of the bike. Then she kissed Kid smack on the lips. He blushed. "Let's go again." she said, grinning.

Then she saw a pair of slim arms sneak around Kid's waist, and she looked around, and saw Patty sitting on the rear seat, putting her own arms around Kid's waist. "My turn now?" she asked, giving her cutest face.

Liz laughed. "Ok, fine. Don't go jumping off mid-flight, ok?"

She waved as her loyal sister and beautiful boyfriend flew into Death City's sky.


	55. irrelevant chap 2: discovery

"What're you up to, Kiddo-kun?" Patty asked, skipping over to Kid, who was sitting in a chair staring at his computer screen.

"Glad you asked, Patricia." Kid replied, not looking at her, just scrolling and clicking. "Guess what…

"We're famous."

Patty blinked. "We are?" she asked, peering at the screen over his shoulder.

"Yeah." Kid said, still clicking. "We're so famous, people draw pictures of us, even write stories about us."

"How do they even know about us?" Patty questioned.

"I bet it was that blabbermouth Black*Star. The fool probably let slip to a earth-realmer about the existence of soulrealm."

"Huh." Patty said, looking over his shoulder. "What's a 'fanfiction?'"

"That's what they call stories about trends or characters, including us." Kid replied. "Most of them are really awesome. There's funny ones, there's sexy ones, there's one for every color of a thousand rainbows."

"Huh." Patty said, reading over Kid's shoulder. That is, she tried to read, but Kid kept scrolling down faster then her eyes could follow.

"Say Kid." Patty said after a few minutes. "You said that MOST fanfictions were good. Some are bad?"

Kid winced. "Yeah. There's one where a gun goes up my butt, one where I treat you guys like dirt, even one where I turn into some sort of cat-chibi-thing."

"Aww…" Patty said, imagining a chibi-cat-kid playing with a ball of yarn.

"But the stories about us by THIS author are the worst." Kid said, his fingers rattling on the keyboard as he worked his way to a certain author's page.

Patty read over his shoulder. "…knee-knee-nah?"

"nenena." Kid said, gripping the mouse so tightly the plastic cracked. "This bitch writes stories so degrading, so disgusting, so inhumanly bad, that I honestly just want to puke."

"What happens in them?" Patty asked.

"Well, for starters, in the stories, Liz is the world's biggest bitch, you're stupider then a rock, and I'm… I'm the comic relief, a naïve fool who doesn't know a kiss from a king from a krayon."

"I feel your pain. Most of the time I'm the comic relief in our group." Patty said, patting Kid on the back, as he buried his face in his hands.

"No, wait. It gets MUCH better." Kid said so sarcastically and resentfully, even Patty couldn't miss it.

"Let's see… according to this bitch, you, me and Liz have threesomes where I'm handcuffed to a bedpost and dressed up in a maid outfit, and you two have your way with me. Not to mention it involves something called 'boo-boos'."

"Do I want to know?" Patty asked.

"No, no you don't." Kid growled. "I mean, we only tried each of those things ONCE, never at the same time! I don't think we even ever tried the maid outfit…"

"No, we did." Patty corrected. "Last Christmas, it was a present, remember?"

"Ah. I'd blocked that out." "Also, there's this slut called Charlene, who Liz apparently SLEEPS with."

Patty gasped. "NO! SERIOUSLY?" she cried.

"Yeah." Kid growled, his face growing redder with rage and embarrassment by the second. "Apparently, Liz tries to explain to me how she slept with Charlene, but I just don't understand the concept. Then YOU start spewing some bullshit about the looney toons roadrunner."

"I hate that bird." Patty said. "He always gets away, and the poor coyote goes to bed hungry." She gave a small, sad sniff and wiped her eye.

"I swear to god… apparently, Liz rates peoples' butts, you like pancakes instead of waffles, and I… I'm stupid as hell."

"You already said that." Patty pointed out.

"I know, but I'm just so enraged… oh! But the worst one is chapter four of this 'devil' one. Not only do you two look like complete sluts, but… well… you remember that incident with the kids and you girls being kidnapped?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, the same thing happens here, only in a way worse fashion. Apparently, I come down the stairs at 3 in the morning, and you two follow me, BUTT NAKED. then it turns out that some midget has desecrated honourable father's mask, and stolen it. Then another midget comes in and trashes the house, and I act like a grade-A pussy, and you two don't even bother to put on CLOTHES when you fight. Then, you two are FURTHER made like sluts by not putting on clothes when we GO OUTSIDE THE HOUSE, all in a rush, to catch the midgets."

"But… but we win, right?" Patty asked, a slight tone of desperation in her voice.

"No." Kid said quietly.

"…Wow, knee-knee-nah IS a bitch."

"I know, right? Then after they beat us, Black*Star shows up and mocks us, and he tells everyone on facebook, then we all run off to maka's for COOKIES for some retarded reason, then the story ends."

"…THAT'S IT?" Patty howled, her happy demeanor being broken for a couple seconds.

"I'm already locking on to her soul signature. After breakfast, we're going to hunt her down and waste her." Kid finished, clicking around once more. "It's not ALL bad, though." Kid made his way to another story. "This other story, 'The Many Adventures of Kid, Liz and Patty', recounts the REAL version of events."

"That's a relief." Patty said quietly. Then she pointed. "Hey, there's a new chapter up!"

"So there is. Let's check it out." Kid clicked on the new chapter and read.

"What're you up to, Kiddo-kun?" Patty asked, skipping over to Kid, who was sitting in a chair staring at his computer screen.

"Glad you asked, Patricia." Kid replied, not looking at her, just scrolling and clicking. "Guess what…

"We're famous."

Kid stopped reading and paused. That sounded strangely familiar. He scrolled down to near the bottom.

Kid stopped reading and paused. That sounded strangely familiar. He scrolled down to near the bottom.

He paused again, Patty silently reading in astonishment over his shoulder.

"Right, this is trippy. Let's go eat waffles." Kid said, pressing the power button on the hard drive, and slowly walked away, Patty skipping in his wake.

XXXXXXXX

Hi, folks!

Yeah, so we again have 8fangirl8 to thank for this one. Countless days ago, she requested me to make one where Kid and his weapons discover fanfiction, and I have finally obliged.

Although I admit I kind of turned it into a hate rant, I admit… Eh, whatever. I've been looking to bitch about that bitch ever since I read chapter four of "devil's in the details". DO NOT CHECK IT OUT. You will regret it. What has been read cannot be unread.

The kids are NOT alright.

On a completely separate note, I'm sorry for not updating in a while. Again, I've had some serious crap going on in my life. I'll try to get a chap out tomorrow which advances the storyline a bit.

Overlord out.


	56. Tricks pt 1

Warning: fanservice.

XXXXXXXX

"Disney!"

"Bravo!"

"Disney!"

"Bravo!"

"What are you two on about this time?" Kid asked, walking into the TV room where the girls were arguing.

"Onee wants to watch her stupid trash, but I wanna watch mickey mouse!"

"…do they even show mickey mouse on Disney anymore?" Liz questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Why don't you just do your usual deal; whoever grabs the remote first gets to watch what they want." Kid wondered.

"The remote's waaaaaaay over there." Patty said, pointing across the room to the TV.

"Don't you just HATE having to walk all the way across the room when you get all nice and comfy?" Liz moaned.

"Fine, whatever. I'll get it." Kid said.

Then he held out his hand, and thin purple beams shot out of it, which attatched to the remote. The small box leapt across the room right into Kid's skinny hand, and he tossed it to the girls, who watched in shock. "There. Now, if you don't mind, I've got to-"

"how did you DO that?" Patty asked in astonishment.

"What- oh, you mean my death grip."

"death grip?" Liz cried.

"Yeah," Kid replied, "It's a shinigami thing. I can manipulate my powers to warp space around a solid object, creating a solid cushion of air which-"

"Too many words." Patty said, holding her hands over her ears.

"Hey, you asked." Kid said, sitting on the couch between the girls.

"So… any other shinigami tricks you can show us?" Liz asked, eager to see more.

Kid looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "You haven't noticed? Look closely at me."

Liz squinted her eyes as she looked at Kid. It was just Kid; his usually scrawny little self…

Wait… scrawny?

"Kid, your muscles are gone!" Liz cried, staring at Kid in astonishment. The little shinigami had gone back to what he was before chapter 33! (Time update: that was 6 months ago.)

"Surprised?" Kid said, raising an eyebrow. Patty pinched his arm to make sure it wasn't a trick. Sure enough, she only felt stringy little muscles.

"I missed being able to wrap my arms all the way around you!" Liz said, hugging Kid. His muscles and older self made him look more handsome, true, but he looked more natural this way.

She embraced him, hugging him tightly for a few seconds. Then she heard Kid say, "Hey Liz." She pulled back, smiling.

And screamed.

Where Kid had been, there was now an old, wrinkled man. He wore Kid's outfit, true, but he had a white beard that must have been two feet long, and was completely bald, save for the three white halos on his scalp.

"Kid… what the hell's going on…" Liz whimpered, beginning to get scared. Would SHE turn into some old lady now?

Kid laughed a rusty laugh. Then he began to change. He grew taller, and his stooped posture grew straighter. Before Liz' very eyes, she saw hair sprout from his bald scalp, and his face lose its wrinkles. Soon he looked like a 40-year-old man, weathered and tired. Then a 30-year-old, relatively energetic. Then a 20-year-old, muscular and powerful. And finally, the skinny-as-all-hell 15-year-old Kid we all know and love sat in front of Liz once more.

"Surprised?" Kid asked the slack-jawed girls. "I was experimenting with my new Death powers last night, and it turns out that, with some concentration, I can actually CONTROL how close I am to death. In other words, I can make myself look as old or as young as I want to be."

"Incredible…" Liz whispered, running a hand along his smooth cheek.

"Does this mean we can legally do child porn now?" Patty asked. The other two looked at her in astonishment. "What?" she questioned, tilting her head.

"Patty… you LIKE that kind of stuff?" Kid asked in astonishment.

"No, no, I was just curious." Patty said, smiling, naïve blonde she was.

Kid shrugged, relatively used to Patty's insane questions. "I'm not sure. That would be a gross misuse of my power-"

"Wasn't using your powers to grab the remote a misuse of your power?" Liz cut in, smirking.

Kid rolled his eyes. "Point taken."

"Kid, go baby Kid! I wanna see adorable little baby Kid!" Patty pouted.

"Yeah, I bet you'd look ADORABLE." Liz said, smiling.

"Well…" Kid said, considering the request.

"PLEEEEEASE?" The girls asked, putting on their best puppy-dog faces.

"Ohh, you KNOW I can't resist the double puppy face. Very well, maybe for a couple minutes. If it gets out of hand, though, I'm going back to wrinkly old man." Kid said, smirking. Liz winced. She didn't want to be boyfriends with an old guy again.

Kid began to shrink, his long limbs shrinking back into his body. His features grew even more smooth, and soon, a four-year-old Kid sat in between Liz and Patty. He looked up at them with big, adorable puppy eyes, and the thompsons couldn't resist.

"KAWAII!" The girls screamed as the launched themselves upon baby Kid, showering him with kisses and love.

"Girls get off me!" Kid cried, but even if the girls could hear him above their own squeals, it would be impossible to take his now babyish voice seriously.

After a few minutes of loving, Kid had had enough, and aged back to normal. The girls whined, but Kid was too busy gasping for breath to notice.

"So, um… is there anything else you can do now?" Liz asked.

Kid grinned evilly. "Actually, yes. I can-"

BEEP BEEP!

Kid paused, and looked at one of his watches. "Ah. It's time."

"Time for what?" Patty asked.

Kid stood up and walked to the center of the room.

"My official initiation ceremony as Lord Death."

He looked back at the girls, who still sat on the couch.

"Meet me at the DWMA, and you'll see my true power. Oh, and try not to be late… you're giving the opening speech."

Then Kid spun on his heels, and disappeared in a black ripple.

Liz and Patty looked at each other, then ran out the door to the academy.


	57. Tricks pt 2

"Did you know there was going to be a ceremony today?" Patty asked Liz as they ran down the street.

"No, I didn't. It isn't like Kid to keep secrets from us like this." Liz answered, still running.

"Maybe he wanted it to be a surprise?" Patty suggested.

"Let's ask him. We're here." Liz said, coming to a stop in front of the DWMA, on the sidewalk. Recently repaired from the fire, the academy stood as strong, tall, and magnificent as ever.

A large crowd of people had mustered in front of the school. As Liz and Patty watched from the rear, they saw a podium in front, a microphone on top. Liz wondered when Kid was going to show up.

Then the next thing the girls knew, they were being pushed through the crowd, then scant seconds later, stood in front of the podium. Liz paled, she hated being called on in class.

"HIIIII!" Patty cheered into the microphone. To her surprise, the crowd actually cheered back.

"Um… hi." Liz said tentatively. Again, the crowd cheered.

"Sissy, can I give the speech? Pleeeease?" Patty begged.

"Um… ok, Pat." Liz said, standing back. She was surprised, usually Patty was the one who stood in the background while SHE gave the speeches.

Patty stepped up to the microphone, and cleared her throat.

"Kid's always been there for us." Patty began. "He's always vouched for us, always helped us. He's done incredible things, and we've watched the all. We've done incredible things, and HE'S watched them all.

"In my opinion – and no disrespect to the original Lord Death here – Kid's going to kick his father's ASS at being a grim reaper. I mean, think about it! Kid was so powerful when he was the SON of death, imagine how strong he is now!"

Liz watched in astonishment as Patty delivered a incredibly dramatic speech to the awestruck crowd. Who knew the younger Thompson could be so eloquent? At least, compared to her usual standards.

"Kid rules you all now, so you'd better obey him, or he'll mess up all yo' faces!" Patty finished, thrusting a fist in the air. The crowd cheered and clapped furiously, and Patty bowed.

"Good work, Patricia. I'll take over from here." Kid said from behind Patty.

"Beat that, Kid." Patty said smugly, turning around, grinning.

The grin was replaced with an incredulous expression faster then a lightbulb blowing out.

Kid wore a incredible suit of armor, comprised of rippling metal. skulls were everywhere on the outfit; on the boots, on the breastplates, on the shoulders… even the crotchplate had a skull on it. Kid wore a helm which encompassed his whole head, leaving only his golden eyes visible.

"Wow, Kid, your outfit's skullapalooza! Planning a massacre or something?" Patty began to laugh, but Kid's cold yellow eyes stopped her for some reason.

"Relax, Patricia. It's ceremonial armor, for public occasions." Kid said, gently pushing Patty aside on the way to the podium.

This would have been a reasonable excuse, but what worried Liz was long, straight, thin object strapped to Kid's back, running along his spine, perfectly symmetrical. A sword sheath.

"When I was his son," Kid began, "Father would always tell he how he had watched me grow into a beautiful young man.

"But I knew that wasn't true."

Kid's voice was fairly plain, but Liz noted a hint of resentment in his words.

"I was nothing more then a glorified weapon, an errand boy whom father sent on missions.

"Yes, I admit HE couldn't go anywhere, being trapped in the city and all, but he never seemed to send anyone else. Always me." Kid's armored fists clenched.

"Over time, though, I learned the reason. Father was trying to temper my incredible powers, by never letting me know the full extent of my strength. He sent me on missions to distract me, for he knew that if I ever got bored, and actually experimented with my powers, I would know exactly how insanely strong I was."

At this, Liz noticed Kid's hand subtly shift to his back and pull out the sword. Everyone gasped quietly, including Liz and Patty. The blade glowed a dark purple, with a skull at the hilt, an amethyst in its mouth. Mystical, ancient runes ran the length of the blade, and black wisps, like smoke, revolved around the entire thing.

"For my father knew…"

Kid clutched the hilt in both hands.

"..That if I ever knew the full extent of my power…"

Kid pointed the sword at the ground.

"…I could send this entire damned city to hell."

Then Kid reared back slightly, and thrust the sword into the ground, sinking it nearly to its hilt.

The result was immediate. Black energy flowed over Kid, wrapping over him like a blanket. At the same time, the earth quaked, causing the DWMA itself to shudder in its foundations.

Wait… it wasn't the earthquake that was shaking the DWMA. Just the opposite, in fact. The DWMA was shifting, causing the earth to shudder.

To the astonishment of the crowd, the DWMA began to shift and twist, its many towers spiraling into… what? All this happened, even as Kid's voice roared out to the crowd, calm but loud.

"You never took me seriously. You always thought I was just another pawn, another player in this demonic game called life. Well now, who's the pawn, hmm?"

"He's delusional… mad with power…" Liz thought to herself as she watched Kid, still immersed with black energy, float into the air, still clutching the sword with both hands.

Then she looked over behind him, and gasped as she saw something burst out of the side of the DWMA.

A claw, a huge arm with a horrible claw, twisted out of the wall, and buried its talons in the concrete. Papers flew out of its base, as though it had disturbed some poor teacher's grading process.

As the crowd watched in astonishment, and Kid floated ever higher, the DWMA rumbled and groaned, another gargantuan clawed arm twisting out of the opposite side. Though nobody could see it, this was happening all around the DWMA, a total of eight gargantuan claws, almost like spider legs, bursting out of the walls and burying their talons in the concrete, each talon the size of a freight truck, let alone the arm.

There was a earth-shuddering crack, and a bone-shaking groan. Then, as Kid reached the top of the main, huge skull, which was the entryway to the academy, the entire DWMA BURST out of the ground, stretching and groaning, creaking and cracking, twisting and morphing…

Liz' jaw hit the floor as Kid buried his terrible sword once more into the center skull.

The entire DWMA had been transformed into some sort of horrifying dragon.

The three huge skulls at the entryway had grown huge necks, and now together resembled some sort of huge, three-headed hydra, their huge fangs threatening to rip out chunks of the concrete. The body had twisted and lengthened to form a huge body, the turrets becoming incredible spikes, the entire thing supported by the four gargantuan legs. A huge, turret-spiked tail swung menacingly behind the entire thing. The stone gargoyle had chunks of bedrock falling from its underbelly, even a couple pipes weakly spewing water. On the top central head, largest of the three, the tiny figure of Kid could be seen, down on one knee, still clutching the sword's hilt with both hands.

Then, as though it couldn't get any freakier, Kid started spewing some ancient language, which Liz couldn't understand at all. "ZU DROG DINOK!" Kid roared in his scariest voice. "DINOK UNSLAAD! DINOK UNAHZAAL! DINOK FEN DU PAH JOOR SOULS! ZU DROG DINOK, AHRK I FEN HIN QUAHNARIIN, JOOR!" The monster lumbered forwards and began to destroy the town. "HIN SLEN IST MY FUUD!" Kid-beast roared.

"Kid, stop it! Kid!" Liz shouted, waving her hands. She didn't honestly to expect it to have any effect, but to her surprise, the monster stopped roaring, and looked at her.

"AAM? DAAR BRIT JOOR DARES WAH CHALLENGE DINOK? WHAT AAN MEY." The beast gave a horrible, rumbling laugh.

"Kid! Stop acting like a crazy person and get down here NOW!" Patty shouted in her scary voice.

The beast laughed again. "VOTH AHKRIN KIIR REIN AHST DINOK. HIN ZAAN IZ NAUGHT WAH ME, JOOR."

Then, suddenly, the girls felt themselves lifted up. Next thing they knew, the thompsons were on top of the central skull, facing Kid, still in that horrible armor, still kneeling down, clutching the sword.

"YOU LOST FAAN ZIN DO BEING NAAKO FIRST, JOOR!"

Not being able to take it anymore, Liz suddenly rushed forwards and hugged Kid. "Kid, this isn't you! Come back to me! Please!" she said, tears running down her face.

Then she noticed Kid was writhing, trying to get out of her grip. "FAAL HAALVUT DO FAAL JOOR! YOL!" he screamed in obvious agony.

Liz hugged tighter, hoping Kid would wake up, and come back to her. Kid screamed, and everything went black.

Xxxxxxxx

Liz awoke in a haze. She slowly woke up, and her eyelids slowly dragged open, to reveal Kid sitting next to her, watching anxiously. When he saw she was awake, his face burst into a smile. "You're awake! Excellent!" he cried.

"Kid, what happened? Was… was it a dream?" Liz asked, a bit weakly.

"I'm afraid not, Liz." Kid said. "After you hugged me and brought me out of my delusion of grandeur, I saw what I had done, and immediately restored the academy to normal, back where it had been. Even as we speak, repair crews are fixing the damaged buildings."

"Kid… what the hell WAS that?" Liz questioned. Kid looked at her with an apologetic look, like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I'm so sorry, Liz." Kid said, clutching her hand. "It's just… I was meditating last night, and I stumbled upon a part of myself I never knew was there. I was overcome with power, and I went mad with power. I decided to unleash my new strength at the most dramatic moment possible of course." Kid's eyes grew teary. "god… I could have hurt so many people… I DID hurt so many people…"

"Kid…" Liz said, hugging him. "It's ok. I forgive you. Everyone forgives you. You had no idea what you were doing."

Kid hugged her back, still sniffling. "Thank you, Liz…" he said quietly.

"thank you…"


	58. A New Couple

"Where are you off to, Patty?" Liz asked. The younger Thompson had just been running past her room, giggling like a maniac.

"Nuttin'!" Liz heard Patty call as her pitter-patter receded down the hall. Liz sighed. Considering that was the eight time she had run past her door, it probably WAS something, but Farina was about to confess her love to Brad… she turned back to the TV, grabbing a Kleenex.

"Hey, Liz?" Kid asked, poking his head in the room.

"What?" Said Liz a bit irritably.

"I know you hate being interrupted in the middle of your soaps, but-"

"They're not soaps! They're romantic comedies!" Liz said, glaring.

Kid rolled his eyes. "sure they are. Anyways, I was just wondering if you knew what Patty's been up to. She's been tearing around the house for the past half-hour, carrying all sorts of clothing and giggling… actually, giggling about as much as she normally does."

Liz looked up. "a half-hour? Either she has some wacky scheme up her sleeve, or she's on a sugar rush."

"Well, she hasn't had any sugar or anything-" Kid began, but was interrupted by two things.

A ring of the doorbell, DONNNGGG!

And a loud cry of "Oneeeee, c'mere a second!" from the direction of Patty's room.

Liz sighed. "I'll take Patty, you take door?"

"Sounds like a plan." Kid nodded, and the two began to make their way to their respective destinations.

Xxxxxxxx

"S'up, Patty?" Liz asked a minute later, walking into her sister's room.

Then her jaw dropped.

Normally Patty's room looked like a tornado flew through it. Kid couldn't walk into it without wearing sunglasses, to "keep out all the hideous assymetricality." (Liz was pretty sure he made up that word.) But this was even worse then usual. It looked like the tornado had dropped an atomic bomb into Patty's room. Which was then hit by a hurricane. Clothes and stuffed animals were everywhere, and the bedsheets were now floorsheets.

In the center of the mess was Patty, who was stripped down to her undergarments, and desperately rattling through the clothes, muttering under her breath. "The blouse and the jacket? No, that won't do at all… the giraffe hat and the harry potter cloak? No way… Oh! Liz' purple shirt would go PERFECT with those jeans!" Patty ran for the door, plowing into Liz. The two crashed into the floor, though it was a soft landing with all the clothes.

"Whoa, there, Patty." Liz said, putting her hands on her sister's shoulders. "Why's your room look like WWIII recently took place?"

"No time, sissy, no time!" Patty whimpered, wriggling free and running to her dresser. "OH MY GOD! It's 7:05! I'm LATE!" Patty ran in circles, giving little whimpering, panicked cries, "aah! Aah! Aah!"

"Patty, calm down!" Liz cried, hugging her sister. Patty tried to wriggle free, but Liz had had years of experience restraining Kid when he was in a frenzy. "Pat, just tell me what's got you so worked up!"

Patty took deep breaths, and Liz felt her calming down. Liz guided her sister to the bed, and they sat down, Liz' hand on Patty's back reassuringly. Patty clutched her hands together between her knees and swung her legs, but didn't flee.

"Um… I was planning to tell you…" Patty said quietly.

"What?" Liz urged her on.

"I…" Patty began, then so quickly that Liz almost didn't make it out, "I-have-a-date."

For a moment, Liz thought she DID mishear. "What?" she asked, a small, panicked laugh in her voice.

"I have a date, ok?" Patty said, frowning at her sister, getting aggressive. "You got a problem with that? You think that you're the only Thompson who can get a man? Well i-"

"Whoa whoa whoa, Pat! I never said anything like that!" Liz said, smiling. Then she threw her arms around Patty, startling the younger.

"I'm so proud…" Liz said, a tear running from her eye. "I was honestly beginning to think you were never going to grow out of this baby phase…"

"Well… not quite… I'm not getting rid of geoffry anytime soon." Patty said defensively.

Liz laughed. "Of course, Pat. Of course." Then she gasped, and leaned back. "Wait, so you're late?"

"YEAH! He was going to show up at seven o' clock, and that was ten minutes ago, and he's waiting impatiently, and I'm LATE!" Patty wailed.

"Calm down, Pat. Calm down. Queen of fashion is here to help." Liz said, leaping up and sifting through the clothes to find the perfect outfit.

"Say," Liz added as she searched, "You never told me the name of your new… friend."

"Oh, I didn't?" Patty said, tilting her head. "Actually, you know him."

"I do?" Liz asked, glancing around. "It's not Kid, is it?"

"Oh nonononono!" Patty said, waving her hands. "No, it's just…

xxxxxxxx

"Black*Star?" Kid said as he stared at the occupant of the gallows threshold.

"That's me! The biggest star in the whole damn world, coming in for a landing!" Black*Star said, strutting inside like he owned the place. Kid noted that though Black*Star wore his usual attire, he also wore a small bow tie. That, for the most part, was about as formal as he got. Something big was up.

"What can I do for you?" Kid said slowly as Black*Star paced the antechamber.

"Nothing, actually." Black*Star replied, straightening his tie in a mirror, making various faces, seeing which suited him best. "I actually have a date with a certain Thompson sister."

Suddenly, Black*Star's view was filled with not a smiling reflection, but a snarling Kid, who had pinned the assassin to the wall with one hand around his throat, the other hand clenched into a fist, reared back to strike.

"Filthy worm! Try to steal Elizabeth, will you? Have at you!" Kid growled.

"P-Patty! It's Patty!" Black*Star choked desperately.

Then Black*Star was on the floor, clutching his throat, while Kid stood frozen. Then he shook his head, and helped his friend up. "A thousand pardons, Black*Star. I'm so-"

"Ah, I didn't feel a thing." Black*Star boasted, even as he massaged his throat.

"It's just… I never thought PATRICIA would get a date…" Kid said quietly.

"And what's that supposed to mean? Huh?" Black*Star said, his eyebrows furrowing. "You think she's not pretty? Huh?" he pointed a finger in Kid's face.

Kid calmly moved the hand aside. "Most certainly not. Patricia is adorable. I just thought… she's never been interested in men… least of all-…"

"Yes?" Black*Star said, straightening his tie once more.

"Nevermind." Kid said, the ghost of a smile flickering across his lips.

"Hiii!"

Patty stood at the top of the stairs, looking incredible. She was dressed in sort of a dark version of her regular outfit: purple and black where red and blue would be. Little death insignias were scattered symmetrically over her outfit, and her shoes were practical, yet stylish. One would think that her face, adorable and childish, wouldn't go well with such an outfit, but it actually flowed together quite nicely.

Black*Star stared up at Patty, his mouth open. He was about to go to her when a firm hand went around his shoulders. Kid stood next to Black*Star casually as Patty sauntered down the stairs. "I know what you're thinking," Kid growled almost unnoticeably, "And if you try ANYTHING, you're going to be drinking through a straw for the next month, understood?" Black*Star gulped and nodded.

Patty pushed Kid out of the way and hugged Black*Star, who was still paralyzed by her incredible appearance. "How do I look?" Patty asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

"I-Incredible!" Black*Star stuttered, unable to take his eyes off her. Patty giggled, and put her arm around his shoulder. Together, they headed for the door.

"Have fun!" Liz called, waving.

"No later then midnight, understood?" Kid called, frowning.

"No promises!" Patty called gleefully as she hopped into the passenger seat of Black*Star's white sports car. She waved as the blue-haired ninja drove into the night.

Liz and Kid stood side by side in the doorway, watching after them even after they were out of sight, like a proud pair of parents.

Liz sighed. "Y'know, they ARE the perfect couple."

"How so?" Kid asked, raising an eyebrow.

Liz laughed. "They're both completely insane!"

"Admitted." Kid replied as he slowly turned and walked back into the house, Liz following.

Xxxxxxxx

One hour later…

A cacophony of noises rang through the gallows halls. The eight blenders had been turned on, the eight washers AND dryers had been turned on, the hair dryers, the tv… even the computer was blaring out some song.

And yet, it wasn't the same as the bouncy, bubbly little blonde.

Liz and Kid sat on the couch, watching the TV, where some news reporter was telling the weather, even though with the volume, it was as though he was screaming at them.

"You nervous, too?" Liz said finally, as Kid stared at the reporter, who was talking about something in Libya.

"Yeah." Kid said quietly, turning off the TV. With all the other noises, it made little difference.

Suddenly, Liz got up. "That's it. We're going after them." She headed for the door, followed by Kid.

"How are we even going to find them?" Kid questioned.

"You have that soul detect thing, right? You can find her using that." Liz said, putting on her lucky fur coat.

"Fine." Kid said, walking away. "Give me just a couple minutes to turn off all this crap."

Xxxxxxxx

Another 10 minutes later…

Kid's motorcycle roared the skies of Death City once more, casting its fearsome noise. Kid, of course, drove, with Liz hugging him around his torso, sitting behind him.

"Hang on." Kid said, going into a dive. Liz would have screamed, had she not done this a dozen times before. It was still exhilarating, though.

"Here we are." Kid said, pulling the motorcycle to a stop and gently touching down to the ground, in a parking spot, no less. Liz looked around, and saw that they were on the other side of the city, in what was relatively the "bad part of town", with all the nightclubs and x-rated places.

Kid got off, and led Liz to the sidewalk and down the streets. Liz wondered why they hadn't just parked in front of where their targets were. "They might have heard the roar of the bike." Kid explained, as though reading her mind.

Then, he came to a stop. "They should be in here." He said.

Liz looked up, and gasped. "McKareoke", one of the most hoppin' party joints in the city, not far below the number one, Chupa Capra's.

"I always wanted to come here!" Liz cried.

"And I never let you." Kid sniffed. "It's a simply filthy, assymetrical establishment. If I wasn't so happy she's finally growing up, I'd drag Patty back home."

"Oh, don't be a poop." Liz said, pulling Kid by his sleeve through the saloon-style doors.

It was rather dark inside. Cushy armchairs, fancy-looking tables and potted, leafy plants were dotted around, and at the rear was a large, slightly crude stage, with lights somewhere in the rafters shining down. Some hippie with a beard and long hair was singing into a microphone on the stage. At the back of the room, a large screen showed the words of the song, each word lighting up when they were sung.

"Blech. Look how randomly these floor objects are placed. Disgusting." Kid said quietly as the two sat down in a pair of armchairs.

"So you're sure they're in here?" Liz asked, scanning the heads in the restaurant. Then she saw the familiar silhouette of a certain spiky-haired gentleman, and another familiar, female silhouette next to him.

"I'm going to need wine to block this assymetricallity out." Kid muttered, glancing at the small menu. "…Captain Morgan. Never heard of THAT kind of wine before."

"Thanks a bunch, Harry!" a voice from nowhere came. The long-haired man bowed, and walked off the stage.

"Awwright, couples kareoke time! Let's see, who's the cutest couple…" the disembodied voice said. a spotlight swung around the dark room.

There was a familiar squeal, and one of the silhouettes jumped up and down.

The voice laughed. "All right, youngblood, come on up." The spotlight settled on Patty and Black*Star.

"Yes!" Patty said, pumping her fist. She and Black*Star scampered up onto the stage. Someone added a second microphone. Patty looked into the screen at the back, picking out a song as the available songs scrolled along the screen.

"OH!" Patty cried, pointing. "That one! Number 8! It's PERFECT! Right, B*S?"

"Totally!" Black*Star said, grinning hugely.

"Number 8 it is! Any last words?" The voice said cheerily.

"Yeah, um, this song's dedicated to my meister, Kid!" Patty said. Kid ducked down, afraid he'd been seen, but then Patty added "He isn't here tonight, but this goes out to him in spirit! Rock on, man!"

"Awwright, lets get this party stahteeed!" The disembodied voice said as a rather quick countdown from 5 flashed on the rear screen. Then, almost immediately after the song started playing, the two sang together in perfect harmony, to one hell of an awesome rock beat.

"Show me how to lie! You're getting better all the time! And turning all against the one, is an art that's hard to te-each!"

"Another clever word sets off an unsuspecting herd, and as you step back into a line, a mob jumps to their fe-et!"

"Now DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, man, he never had a chance! And no-one even knew, it was really only you!"

"And now you steal, awayyy… taaa-ken out, todaaay… niiice work, you diiiid… YOU'RE GONNA GO FAR, KIIIID!"

three head-bangs…

"with a thou-sand lies, and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes, hit 'em right between the eyes! When you walk away, nothing more to say! See the lightnin' in your eyes! See 'em running… for their lives!"

"…Slow-ly outta line, and drifting clo-ser to your sights, so play it out I'm wide awake, it's a scene about me-e!"

"There's somethin' in yo way and now some-one is gonna pay, and if you can't get what you want, well it's all because a' me!"

"Now DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, man, I never had a chance! And no-one even knew, it was really only you!"

"And now, you'll lead, the waaayy… sho-oow the liiight of dayyy… niiice work, you diiiid… YOU'RE GONNA GO FAR, KIIIID!"

"TRUST! DE! CIEVED!"

"with a thou-sand lies, and a good disguise, hit 'em right between the eyes, hit 'em right between the eyes! When you walk away, nothing more to say! See the lightnin' in your eyes! See 'em running… for their liiiiiiiives!"

Then there was a epic guitar solo, and Black*Star whaled away on an air guitar as Patty swung her arms around and jumped everywhere in what she apparently though were dance moves. Then they sang just as perfect as before, but slightly more quietly:

"Now dance, fucker dance. He never had a chance. And no-one ever knew, it was really only you."

"So, dance, fucker, dance. I never had a chance. It was really only you…"

Three. Head! BANGS!

"with a THOU-SAND LIES and a GOOD DISGUISE, hit 'em RIGHT between the eyes, hit 'em RIGHT between the eyes! When you walk a-way! Nothing more to say! See the lightning in your eyes! See 'em runnin'… FOR THEIR LIVES!"

"clever al-i-bis! Lord, of-the, flies! Hit 'em RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES! Hit 'em RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES! When you WALK A-WAY! Nothing MORE TO SAY! See the LIGHTNING in your EYES! See 'em running… for their LIII-III-IIIVVES!"

WHAM WHAM! With two more guitar notes, the song ended, and Patty and Black*Star stood there, panting and breathless, on the stage.

Then the entire place jumped to their feet, and gave them a huge standing ovation, complete with whistling and cheering.

"Thank you! Thank you all! You guys all rock!" The duo called, Patty blowing kisses and Black*Star flashing thumbs-up at everybody.

"Wow… that was incredible… who knew B*S could sing like that?" Liz said quietly.

"To hell with Black*Star, who knew PATRICIA could sing like that?" Kid replied.

Then Patty, up on the stage, frowned, and put a hand over her eyes. "Hey! Can we get the lights on back there?" Patty asked, pointing to the rear of the room. Obligingly, the spotlight swung so that Kid and Liz were bathed in light! The duo blinked from the sudden light, caught red handed.

"A-HA! I thought I spotted those Sanzu Lines glowing! Onee, Kid! What do you think you're doing here?" Patty called, rather angrily.

"Kid, what the hell, man! You don't just crash peoples' dates like this!" Black*Star roared.

"I'MMA KILL YOU FUCKERS!" Patty cried, leaping off the stage. Kid and Liz were promptly chased out by a half-angry, half-amused mob. They leapt onto the bike, starting the engine with a menacing VA-ROOOMMM and flew away, leaving smoke in their wake.

"Well, I'd say they're doing just fine." Liz giggled.

"Yeah, let's not bother them any more."

Liz nodded, her nose rubbing against Kid's soft suit. It wasn't until a few minutes later, when they were walking in the doors of the manor, then that she noticed something. "Hey, Kid…" she said in her most sedacious voice.

"With Patty gone, you and me finally have the house all to ourselves… all alone…"

Kid paused as this registered, then grinned. "Excellent. I had a little game planned for when the house is this empty."

"A game?" Liz asked, tilting her head.

Kid's grin grew. "Yes. I call it, 'how loud can I make Liz moan?'"

Liz squealed, and ran away gleefully, Kid chasing after her.

The following made that night one of the best nights the two had had in a long time.

XXXXXXXX

Hey, folks! hope you liked this chap!

The song which Patty and Black*Star sing is a real song. It's called "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and it's by The Offspring. play it while they're singing, and it incredibly increases the atmosphere.

As soon as I saw the title of the song, I knew that I just HAD to have it in the story. Is it not AWESOME?

Overlord out! :)


	59. More Then Decoration

"Patricia, have you seen your sister?" Kid asked, poking his head into the room.

"She was out back, last time I checked." Patty replied.

"K." Kid said, closing the younger thompson's door. He walked down the hall towards the garage.

He had not seen Liz all day, and though it was silly, he was worried about her. Sheesh. Maybe he was adopting Soul's guard-dog traits.

Kid was entering the garage when he smelled it. A smell he had not experienced for what seemed like forever.

He walked to the back door of the garage and peeked around the corner. Sure enough, there was Liz, sitting on the comfy, padded bench.

Smoking a cigarette.

Now Kid KNEW some seirous $#it was going down. Back in the days of yore, (or so it seemed) Liz smoked a pack a day. With encouragement and constant positive influence from Kid, though, she slowly cut herself off. Nowadays, Liz only smoked when one of two things happened: when she was depressed, or when something big was on her mind. Either way, it wasn't good.

Kid slowly walked over to Liz and sat next to her on the cushioned bench. She pretended not to notice him.

Kid sat like that for a while; resting his head, staring up at the stars. He knew that he needed to be patient, to go in slowly; experience had told him that if he asked her right away what was wrong, she'd just say "nothing" until he gave up.

After a few minutes, Kid said quietly, "So whats the occasion?", pointing at the cigarette as he did.

Liz sighed, taking another drag on the cancer stick. The tip glowed red briefly. "Nothing you'd care about."

Kid slowly put his arm around her, resting his head on her shoulder. "C'mon, Liz. You can tell me anything."

"Yeah, well you've been ignoring me so much these days, I figure you'd just ignore me again." Liz replied.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kid asked. To his surprise, Liz just shrugged his arm off, a bit roughly. She'd never done THAT before.

"Kid…" Liz said quietly. Then she looked him in the eyes for the first time, and Kid saw tiredness and pain in those beautiful sapphire pools.

"Its just…" Liz squirmed uncomfortably. "It seems like… ever since you became Death… its like we've become eye candy."

"Eye candy?" Kid echoed.

"Yeah. We haven't been on a real mission since the city attack, and you've been away at your office more and more. All we do is look good at press conferences and formal occasions. Hell, other then at the YMCD (Youth Muscular Center of Death city), the most physical activity I get is chasing Patty around and you twirling me around on the ballroom floor."

"Aw c'mon, that's not true-"

"Yes it is! And you know it!" Liz said angrily, pushing Kid away.

Kid sat in silence, staring at Liz. Now that he thought about it… it WAS true.

"C'mon." Kid said, suddenly standing up. He held out his hand to Liz, and smiled.

Liz looked at Kid, those yellow eyes she'd fallen in love with. Then she ground out her cigarette, stood up, and took his hand.

Xxxxxxxx

It was about midnight, and Patty was chilling on the couch, casually watching old slasher movies on the widescreen TV. Her hands manipulated Geoffry the giraffe, turningn him over and over, a makeshift outlet for her limitless energy.

Suddenly, she heard a door slam, and a loud "woo-hoo!" she looked over her shoulder, and saw a rather battered Kid and a hyper-energetic Liz, both covered in kishin slime.

"That was AWESOME!" Liz cried, thrusting her fist in the air. "We haven't killed that many kishins in like… EVER!"

"You're welcome." Kid replied, taking off his suit jacket and wringing it out.

"Do I really want to know?" Patty said.

"Me and Kid just PWNED like ninety kishin!" Liz cried. She mimed blasting things with her fingers. "Pew! Pow! Bloom! We just SCREAMED through the sky, blowing up the bastards left and right! They couldn't even TOUCH us!"

Patty looked at Kid, who shrugged. "I'll tell you later." He mouthed. Patty giggled.

"Hey, wait a minute." Patty said, thinking of something. "Kid went out hunting with you… but not me?"

"That's the fact, Jack!" Liz said, still exhilarated from the feeling of wind on her metal skin.

"But why didn't Kid freak out because he wasn't symmetrical? Using just one gun, I mean." Patty continued.

There was a pause as this sunk in. Kid blinked. "Umm…" he said.

"Hey, she's right!" Liz said, throwing her arms around Kid. "Oh, baby, im so PROUD of you! You finally licked your obsessions!"

"AAAUUGH!" Kid cried suddenly, running around in circles. "asymmetry! Asymmetry! Freaking asymmetry!" then he collapsed on a sobbing heap on the floor.

Liz rolled her eyes. "eh, close enough. If this had happened a year ago, your head would have exploded or something." She knelt down and gave him another hug.

"You two are the weirdest couple ever." Patty said, turning back to the tv.


	60. Bad Boy, Good Boy

It was breakfast, and Liz and Patty sat at the table, eating cereal. Well, Liz was eating cereal; Patty was sticking one arm in the box, rooting around for the little plastic trinket which came as a prize in each box.

Liz recognized her meister's footsteps. "Hey, Kid- what the?!" Liz cried, looking at the door the kitchen. Patty looked over, too, and her jaw dropped.

Kid wore a black muscle shirt, sleeveless, which showed off his biceps. On it were the words, "I'm only wearing this until they come up with a darker color". He wore a tattered pair of blue jeans which looked like they were years old, even though Liz had never seen them before. To top it off, he wore a black baseball cap, which sported the death insignia.

"Um… Kid?" Liz asked, astonished at this all-new attire. Kid had never worn tennis shoes before, let alone all this.

"Yo, sup, Liz." Kid said in a tone of voice which sounded an awful lot like Black*Star's. He walked over, hands in his pockets, and plunked down on a chair.

Without even asking permission, Kid grabbed the cereal box from Patty's hands so roughly that flakes spilled onto the tablecloth. Normally, Kid would have a fit and break out the Windex and paper towels, but Kid didn't even bat an eye, his gaze didn't even linger. He just sloppily poured the cereal into a bowl. Then he reached over, grabbed the milk, and poured it on top. Finally, rather then with his dainty little bites, he just grabbed a spoon and ate like a starving wolf.

"Kid… how many fingers am I holding up?" Liz questioned, holding up eight fingers.

"Math? Screw that." Kid said, continuing to gobble down the cereal. Then he just left, getting up and walking out of the kitchen. He didn't even put his bowl in the sink.

Liz and Patty watched over him in astonishment. "Something is very, very wrong here." Patty said in an unusually quiet tone of voice. Liz could only nod.

Xxxxxxxx

"I hate Wednesdays." Patty muttered as she reentered the house from a long day of work, still wearing her uniform.

"Why's that?" Liz asked, following her.

"Tonight's veggie night, remember?"

"Oh yeah… yuck."

Kid had recently been trying to get the girls to eat healthier, and, of course, Wednesday night was the mandatory "nothing but vegetables for dinner" night.

The duo walked around the corner, and saw something rather unusual. Kid was sitting around on the couch, flipping thru TV channels with a bored expression on his face. Odd. Normally, Kid kept busy, either with papers and business, or excersising and keeping himself in shape. He only really watched TV when he was with the girls; never alone.

"Um… hi, Kid." Liz said, smiling.

"Hey, Liz. Hey Patty." Kid said in a rather disinterested tone of voice. He didn't bother looking at them. "I ordered pizza for tonight."

"Pizza? But tonight-" Patty began, before Liz clamped a hand over her mouth. She hated being a vegetarian too, of course.

"Sounds good, Kid. We'll… um… be over here." Liz said, smiling as she pushed Patty back around the corner.

"whatevs." Kid muttered, continuing to not look at the girls. Then he looked up. "Hey!" he shouted.

The girls poked their heads back around the corner.

"Get me a sandwich while you're at it. Make it quick." Kid said, turning his head back to the TV.

"Um… you got it…" Liz said quietly.

After the girls were out of earshot (in other words, halfway across the manor, because of Kid's unnaturally acute hearing) Liz turned to her sister. "Pat, you've probably noticed how Kid's being… um…"

"Kind of a jerk?" Patty piped.

"Well… yes." Liz said, brushing her foot against the floor. "I mean, its probably not good to speak ill of death, but… he's really acting weird today. Why do you think that is?"

Patty shrugged. "Don't really know, don't honestly care." She said.

"Well, I'm finding out, if it kills me." Liz said, turning around and beginning to march back thru the halls.

Patty stared after her for a second, before rolling her eyes. "friggin drama queen…" she said, walking in the opposite direction.

Xxxxxxxx

Soon, Liz heard the familiar sounds of Kid shuffling about cleaning things. Rounding the corner, she saw him whisking around the kitchen, cleaning up various miniscule imperfections.

"Hey, Kid, i-"

"WACK!" Kid yelped, jumping a foot in the air. Then he cleared his throat, immediately stopped cleaning and leaned back against the counter. "I mean… hey." He said, adopting a unnaturally masculine tone of voice. "Hows it going." He said, not making eye contact with Liz.

Now Liz KNEW something was up. Normally, when Kid was in a cleaning rampage like that, Nothing short of her comforting (or a bigger mess) could snap him out of it. But he stopped right when he knew she was there.

"Ok, kid. Spill it." Liz said, crossing her arms. "Whats with the testosterone overload all of a sudden?"

"No idea WHAT you're talking about." Kid said, becoming fascinated with a whisk.

"Don't play dumb with me. The TV, the pizza… the CLOTHES…" she gestured to Kid's attire. "you're acting unnaturally… MAN-like."

Then Kid sighed, and pulled off his cap, letting his hair flow down. "Was it really that obvious?" he questioned, going back to his normal tone of voice.

"More obvious then that, I can garuntee you." Liz said, walking over, and leaning next to him. "C'mon, Kid. What's up with you."

Kid sighed again. "Well… you see…" Then it all came suddenly spilling out of him, like someone pulled the plug out of a bathtub drain. "I was searching online for ways to impress girls and everyone seemed to say that the best way to impress girls was to be a bad boy, a muscle-flexing powerhouse, and it said I needed to be assertive and manly and dress cool and talk in monosyllables and-"

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down." Liz said, putting a hand on Kid's shoulder. "Might I ask WHY you were searching for ways to impress girls?"

"Well… I was just afraid… that if I kept being like I am now… you might go for some tough guy, instead of me. I mean, you deserve so much better-"

"Oh, for shinigami's sake!" Liz said, hugging Kid. "Kid, I'd never leave you sor someone like that. Girls don't even like tough guys anymore."

"They don't?" Kid asked, surprised.

"No! the whole 'bad boy image' is SO 2005. Its way over." Liz said, waving a hand in the air dismissively. "These days, girls like nice guys."

"NICE guys?" Kid echoed in shock.

"Yeah! You know, the sweet, quiet, shy guys. THOSE are the best." Liz said, winking at Kid.

"So… in other words… pretty much just like I was before." Kid said in a tone of slight shock.

"EXACTLY like you were before! Exactly like you are NOW!" Liz said, hugging Kid tighter. "You don't need to be a muscle-bound freak to impress me, Kid. Trust me when I say that I love you just the way you are."

"Huh. I was just thinking, I wasn't good enough for you, and if I just toughened up, I could-" Kid said, then Liz put a finger over his lips.

"Its ok, Kid. Sheesh. Quit apologizing already. You don't need to be THAT nice." She said, rolling her eyes.

"agh, sorry… I'm kind of new to this." Kid said quietly.

"No you're not. You've been doing it all along." Liz said, smiling and looking into his eyes.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" Patty screamed from the closet. "WILL YOU JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY? I'M GETTING OLD HERE!"


End file.
